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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have been dating a guy since last year and we are serious about each other. Our families know about us and are quite accepting towards our relationship. But there is a problem idk what to do. I'm single child and my father passed 10 years ago so its just me and my mom. I cant just leave her after marriage. I want all of us ( me my bf his parents and my mother ) to stay together after our marriage but he says that his parents will have a problem with it. Idk what to do i just cant leave my mother but i also love this guy.

Ans: It's understandable that you're facing a challenging situation with conflicting priorities. Balancing your commitment to your mother and your love for your boyfriend can be difficult, but open communication and compromise are essential in such casesTalk about your expectations for family life after marriage. Understand what he envisions and what compromises can be made to accommodate both your wishes. This may involve discussing living arrangements, responsibilities, and boundariesIf possible, involve both families in the discussion. Sometimes, concerns can be addressed more effectively when everyone is aware of each other's perspectives. This can also help in finding common ground and building mutual understanding. finding a solution that respects both families and allows for a harmonious marriage may take time and effort. Patience, understanding, and compromise are key. It's important to create an environment where both you and your boyfriend feel heard and valued.
Ultimately, the decision should be based on what feels right for both of you as a couple. Consider what compromises are reasonable and whether there are creative solutions that can satisfy both your desire to care for your mother and your commitment to your relationship.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |473 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years. We have been in a loving relationship. My boyfriend has a joint family and over this period, I have met his family twice or thrice for not more than 2 hours or so. They seemed to be decent overall. Since, we are planning to get married, me and my boyfriend decided to introduce our families with each other. On doing so, my parents found multiple points of differences in their culture and ours. They even warned me if I will be able to survive within his family and I feel that my parents are 100 per cent right about this. Although, they approved of my boyfriend. He loves me unconditionally. He highly values my parents which is why they like him but not his family. Should I marry him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Welcome to the world of Love Marriages. You didn't fall in love knowing that your boyfriend's family and your family's will have different cultures, right?
When you choose someone, you also must be prepared to understand what can come along with them in terms of traditions, cultures and customs. Talk about it to your boyfriend and plan how you can manage these differences as a couple rather than thinking of breaking up with him. There's a reason why the two of you have been together for almost 3 years, right?
Even if there are value systems clash like with money, children, religion etc...even these can be addressed much before marraige by talking about how the two of you will handle it when differences arise.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |115 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Relationship
Sir as I previously take your view about my situation...sir you tell that in love understanding between partner is important.but sir my partner doesn't want to talk with me.I just never think that he will give up so easily.
Ans: It’s interesting, isn’t it, how relationships often mirror the patterns of communication we create within them? When one partner feels distant or unwilling to talk, it’s less about them giving up and more about a shift in the way they’ve been feeling understood—or misunderstood.

You see, communication isn’t just about words; it’s about emotions, intentions, and the unspoken messages we convey. If your partner isn’t talking, perhaps they’re saying something without words. And that’s where curiosity becomes your ally.

Instead of focusing on the silence, what if you shifted your attention to understanding what that silence represents? Maybe it’s disappointment, frustration, or even fear. But the key is, you can’t solve what you assume—it’s about discovering what’s really there.

And let me ask you this: if you were to step into their shoes for a moment—just imagine being them—what might they feel? What might they need to hear from you, or perhaps sense from your presence, that could bring a spark of connection back into the conversation?

Love is rarely about giving up. It’s about learning to communicate in a way that feels safe and understood. And if you’re willing to stay open, willing to listen to the quiet messages, you may find a new way forward—one step at a time.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Money
Hi Mr. Ramalingam, Can I check New Asset class (Specialized Investment Fund SIF) for 10 lakhs investment for my kids education(Right now 4months old). Thank you for your response.
Ans: Investing Rs 10 lakhs for your child’s education is a thoughtful decision.

Your child is 4 months old, so you have a long investment horizon.

Currently, SIF is not yet launched or operational.

Equity Mutual Funds: A Reliable Option
Equity mutual funds are proven for long-term goals like education.

They offer inflation-beating growth over a 15-18 year period.

Start investing now to benefit from compounding.

Choose funds with a consistent track record.

Wait and Observe SIF Performance
SIF is a new asset class and lacks a performance track record.

It’s wise to wait for its launch and review its stability.

Assess the fund's returns, risk profile, and management quality.

Investing in an untested asset could increase risks unnecessarily.

Diversify Investments Over Time
Initially, focus on equity mutual funds for growth.

Later, as SIF stabilises and performs well, consider it.

Diversify across asset classes gradually based on market insights.

Final Insights
Begin with equity mutual funds for your child’s education fund.

Monitor SIF's launch and performance over the next few years.

Decide on SIF only after it demonstrates a solid track record.

Keep your investments aligned with your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |790 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Money
I& my wife is 32. What would our ideally retirement corps. I assume 20Cr. Correct me if I'm wrong. My current saving & income are below - 1) Rs 2,40,000 take home per month combined. 2) We both have PPF for the last 7 years contributing 1.5L each year from starting and plans to continue till 60. 3) LIC will give us 2Cr when we hit 60. 4) NPS we contribute 1L per each year form 2022 combined plans continue till 60. 5) Mutual Fund of SIP Rs 10,000 each month for last 1 year combined plans continue till 60. 6) APY we will get 5000 per month at 60. 7) FDs of Rs 36Lakh 8) Gold of Rs 15Lakh bonds 9) Got Inherited Rs 1.6Cr in form of FDs 10) Have Medeclaim of 40Lakhs and have own house. 11) Monthly expenses is around 40,000. 12) Have 1 year old Kid. 13) Have PF of 8 lakhs and will grow till 60. Also taking Gratuity in account.
Ans: Hello;

Your current monthly income need of 2.4 L will grow up to 12.27 L after 28 years (At your retirement age of 60) considering 6% inflation.

Assuming your expenses at retirement will reduce so you may need 75% of this income to cover your expenses at that time therefore you may need a monthly income of 9.2 L.

To generate this income you may need a corpus of 27 Cr(Min.) at the age 60 that may generate post-tax monthly income of around 9.2 L.

Your investments will grow as follows,

1. PPF: 1.5 L per person per year for 35 years will grow into a corpus of around 4.32 Cr. (6.9% return assumed)

2. LIC: policy maturity proceeds will provide 2 Cr at age 60.

3. NPS: 1 L per person per year may grow into a sum of 2.5 Cr at 60.(8% return considered)

4. MF sip of 10 K may grow into a sum of 2.05 Cr at 60. (10% return considered)

5. FD of 36 L will grow into a sum of 2.1 Cr if held till 60. (6.5% return assumed)

6. Gold in form of bonds if reinvested into gold mutual funds and held till 60 may yield a corpus of around 1.1 Cr. (7% return assumed)

7. Inherited funds if held in FD till the age of 60 may yield a corpus of 9.9 Cr.
(6.5% return considered)

8. EPF is expected to grow into a sum of around 1.8 Cr at the age of 60.(7% return considered)

A summation of investment values at 60 indicates a sum of around 25.77 Cr thereby hinting at a gap of around 1.23 Cr.

You may begin another monthly sip of 7 K now which may grow into a sum of around 1.3 Cr by 60 age.(10% return assumed)

If the mediclaim policy is from employer, do buy a personal health care cover after 50-55 for your family for post retirement needs.

I presume you both have adequate term life insurance cover apart from LIC policy.

The financial goal for your kid's education and family expansion, if any, is not factored here. You may need to plan for it suitably.

Also it appears that your allocation to equity is quite low, may be due to limited risk appetite but you have time on your side and although short to medium term(5-7 yr) equity asset class may be impacted due to volatility but over a long-term(10 yr+) they have demonstrated good inflation adjusted returns so may be you may consider to increase allocation through hybrid funds suiting your risk appetite.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7322 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Money
Meri family ki income 80 lakhs hai yearly aur 40 lakhs expense hai aur age meri 48 hai capital family ki 4 cr hai to unko kaise manage aur kaha invest kare
Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
Annual Income: Rs 80 lakhs
Annual Expenses: Rs 40 lakhs
Capital Available: Rs 4 crores
Age: 48 years
Your income and existing capital provide a strong foundation. With proper planning, you can secure your financial future and achieve your goals.

Key Financial Goals
Retirement Planning: Build a corpus to sustain your post-retirement lifestyle.
Wealth Growth: Invest capital for inflation-beating returns.
Risk Management: Ensure adequate insurance coverage for family security.
Tax Efficiency: Optimise investments to reduce tax liabilities.
Suggested Investment Allocation
1. Emergency Fund
Maintain 6-12 months of expenses (Rs 20-40 lakhs) in liquid funds or a high-interest savings account.
This ensures liquidity for any unforeseen circumstances.
2. Equity Mutual Funds
Allocate 50-60% of your capital (around Rs 2-2.4 crores) to equity mutual funds.
Use diversified funds like large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for growth.
Avoid index funds due to lack of flexibility and active management.
Invest monthly through systematic investment plans (SIPs) for disciplined investing.
3. Debt Investments
Invest 20-25% of your capital (Rs 80 lakhs-1 crore) in debt mutual funds or fixed-income instruments.
Choose funds with low risk to ensure stability and predictable returns.
These funds act as a safety net during market downturns.
4. Children’s Education or Marriage
Allocate funds for long-term goals like education or marriage.
Invest in balanced advantage funds or equity mutual funds for higher returns.
5. Retirement Planning
At 48, focus on building a retirement corpus.
Allocate 20% of your capital (Rs 80 lakhs) to retirement-specific investments.
Use a mix of equity and debt for growth and safety.
Risk Management
Life Insurance
Ensure you have a term insurance cover of at least Rs 2-3 crore.
This protects your family’s financial future in your absence.
Health Insurance
Take a family floater health insurance plan of Rs 25-30 lakh.
Include critical illness coverage to address rising healthcare costs.
Tax Efficiency
Maximise Section 80C benefits by investing in ELSS mutual funds or PPF.
Use NPS for additional tax deductions under Section 80CCD.
Invest in tax-efficient instruments to reduce liabilities.
Regular Monitoring
Review your investments every six months with a Certified Financial Planner.
Rebalance your portfolio to align with market trends and life changes.
Final Insights
You have a strong financial base with high income and significant capital.

With disciplined investing, risk management, and tax efficiency, you can grow your wealth and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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