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Worried about boyfriend's family before marriage - advice needed.

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1218 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years. We have been in a loving relationship. My boyfriend has a joint family and over this period, I have met his family twice or thrice for not more than 2 hours or so. They seemed to be decent overall. Since, we are planning to get married, me and my boyfriend decided to introduce our families with each other. On doing so, my parents found multiple points of differences in their culture and ours. They even warned me if I will be able to survive within his family and I feel that my parents are 100 per cent right about this. Although, they approved of my boyfriend. He loves me unconditionally. He highly values my parents which is why they like him but not his family. Should I marry him?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Welcome to the world of Love Marriages. You didn't fall in love knowing that your boyfriend's family and your family's will have different cultures, right?
When you choose someone, you also must be prepared to understand what can come along with them in terms of traditions, cultures and customs. Talk about it to your boyfriend and plan how you can manage these differences as a couple rather than thinking of breaking up with him. There's a reason why the two of you have been together for almost 3 years, right?
Even if there are value systems clash like with money, children, religion etc...even these can be addressed much before marraige by talking about how the two of you will handle it when differences arise.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |368 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have been dating a guy since last year and we are serious about each other. Our families know about us and are quite accepting towards our relationship. But there is a problem idk what to do. I'm single child and my father passed 10 years ago so its just me and my mom. I cant just leave her after marriage. I want all of us ( me my bf his parents and my mother ) to stay together after our marriage but he says that his parents will have a problem with it. Idk what to do i just cant leave my mother but i also love this guy.
Ans: It's understandable that you're facing a challenging situation with conflicting priorities. Balancing your commitment to your mother and your love for your boyfriend can be difficult, but open communication and compromise are essential in such casesTalk about your expectations for family life after marriage. Understand what he envisions and what compromises can be made to accommodate both your wishes. This may involve discussing living arrangements, responsibilities, and boundariesIf possible, involve both families in the discussion. Sometimes, concerns can be addressed more effectively when everyone is aware of each other's perspectives. This can also help in finding common ground and building mutual understanding. finding a solution that respects both families and allows for a harmonious marriage may take time and effort. Patience, understanding, and compromise are key. It's important to create an environment where both you and your boyfriend feel heard and valued.
Ultimately, the decision should be based on what feels right for both of you as a couple. Consider what compromises are reasonable and whether there are creative solutions that can satisfy both your desire to care for your mother and your commitment to your relationship.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |362 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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Hi. I am a muslim girl. I am in a relationship from 5 years. Me and my boyfriend loves each other a lot and we are very close as well. His family also likes me and accepted me. One more thing is that he is my relative. So my family also knows their family well and other relatives too know them. The problem is my family is not agreeing for the marriage as his family once upon a time asked financial help from my other relatives as for some reason they were not in good condition. However, they are now financially stable and ready for the marriage. But my family mix with one evil relative and she said very bad things about my bfs family which are not true. My family will never agree for the marriage. I tried many times to make them understand but they have too much ego. They want me to marry a rich guy so that they can show off to other people whether I am happy or not. Since childhood I have no good bonding with my parents due to their selfish nature. Moreover, other relatives never talked bad about my bf and his family. My family told me to not talk to him ever but I still talk to him as I truly feel he is my soulmate. What should I do at this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |362 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Janak

Janak Patel  |7 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Money
Please advice on my portfolio. I'm 50 years old married freelancer with no children so end up doing investments through STP's. Right now I have 1 crore in ICICI Agressive Hybrid, 1 crore in HDFC Balanced Advantage, 50 lakh PMS with ICICI Contra, 50 Lakh PMS with Abbakus. 30 Lakhs HDFC Mid Cap. 30 Lakhs Oswal Business Cycle. Apart from that I have 20 lakhs in PPF. Please advice
Ans: Hi Saket,

Your portfolio is a mix of investments across MFs, PMS and PPF.
Assuming PMS is all equity, the asset allocation reflects approximately an 80:20 ratio in Equity:Debt respectively, which seems fine.
As your objectives or goals are not available, it would be difficult to indicate if they suit your profile.

Most of the MF schemes mentioned are fine with a good track record. The exception is the Business Cycle scheme - this is a new scheme and being sectoral it will attract very high risk, its approximately 10% of your portfolio value so continue if you understand the risk.
Alternately you can consider a Flexi-cap or Multi-cap MF scheme that are well diversified and for a 7+ years of time horizon.

PMS services - if your experience with the PMS services are good and they meet your expectations for returns, then do continue.

PPF - plan to utilize it as a tax efficient instrument to withdraw funds at the time of retirement. Continue to contribute max possible and complete lock-in period of 15 years and keep extending the account with contributions. Over the next 10-15 years you can accumulate a good corpus which will be completely tax free for withdrawal.

An observation/suggestion as its not indicated - As you are freelancer, suggest emergency funds - please plan to have at least 6-9 months expenses in an investment which has high liquidity and safety e.g. FDs. In extreme eventualities like the pandemic or a personal crisis, this fund can support the immediate needs.

As you are going to be moving towards your retirement in a decade or so, I recommend you contact a Certified Financial Planner who can add value to your portfolio and provide a personalized evaluation and guidance taking into consideration your family profile, goals and requirement of the future while assessing risk and tax efficiency.

Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Janak

Janak Patel  |7 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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I bought an apartment in Delhi in the year 2002 for 5 lacs (own funds) Plus 15 lacs bank loan for 15 years at interest rate of 10%. Now want to sell it for199 lacs. Please advise on following 1. How to work out cost of acquisition considering interest paid on bank loan and expenses incurred from time to time to upkeep the flat around 5 lacs. I don't have bank interest certificate. 2. What will be capital gains tax calculation if I sell it now with both options old v/s new. Please advise. Raghav.
Ans: Hi Neeta / Raghav,

At the high level the below should help you.

1. Cost of acquisition can include the purchase price and the cost of improvement, so the upkeep expenses to maintain the property cannot be consider, but if you made any form of addition/alterations to the property then you can include it.
The interest paid on loan is eligible for tax benefits, it cannot be included in the cost of acquisition.

2. Old Rule - using the CII for calculations indicate Capital gains of Rs130 lacs, the capital gains tax (20% on difference after indexation) works out to be approximately Rs26 lacs. Note exact dates of purchase/sale will determine the CII values to be used, assumed FY2002-3 and FY2024-25 for now.
New Rule (2024 budget) - Capital gains = difference of sale and cost price i.e. Rs179 lacs, tax of 12.5% on it is approximately Rs22 lacs.

Note - you can add/reduce the cost/sale price with expense incurred in transacting the property e.g. brokerage.

Options to save tax on the Capital gains amount
1. Reinvest in another residential property within 1 year prior and 2 years after sale date or construct within 3 years after sale date.
2. Invest in NHAI bonds - has lock-in period and the interest earned is taxable.

Please contact a CFP or a Tax consultant for further guidance.

Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6689 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Money
Please review my MF Portfolio Sir....Bandhan Small Cap Fund - 11000, Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund -15500, Kotak emerging equity Fund - 7000, Tata digital Fund - 7000, Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund - 12000, HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - 12500, With setp up of 10% every year. is this portfolio Good ?? should I change something ?? Also, I want to start another 5000 SIP, which fund should I go for ?. My age is 28 yrs My goal is wealth creation, i can invest for long term. As of now I don't have any urgency
Ans: I’m glad to see you’ve taken active steps towards wealth creation. At 28, with a long-term investment horizon and no immediate need for liquidity, you’re well-positioned to build substantial wealth through disciplined investments.

Let’s evaluate your portfolio and offer insights for further improvements, including recommendations for your new SIP.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio reflects a diverse range of funds, which is essential for reducing risks and optimizing growth. Here's a detailed evaluation of each component:

1. Bandhan Small Cap Fund – Rs 11,000
Small-cap funds have high growth potential but are also highly volatile. It’s great for wealth creation over the long term, but ensure you're prepared for volatility in the short term.

You’ve allocated 16% of your current SIP to small caps. That’s reasonable given your age and long investment horizon.

2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs 15,500
This is a flexi-cap fund, which means it can invest in large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions. These funds offer a good balance of risk and reward.

With about 22% of your SIP allocated here, it adds diversification to your portfolio. This fund provides the flexibility to adjust to market conditions, which can be a key strength.

3. Kotak Emerging Equity Fund – Rs 7,000
Mid-cap funds like this have the potential to offer high returns with moderate risk. Mid-caps often strike a balance between the stability of large caps and the growth potential of small caps.

Your allocation of 10% to mid-cap is fine for your long-term goal, as these funds can generate wealth if held for 7-10 years.

4. Tata Digital Fund – Rs 7,000
A sectoral fund like this focuses on the digital or technology sector, which can be lucrative. However, such funds tend to be highly volatile and depend on the sector's performance.

While sectoral funds can provide high returns, their risks are high due to concentrated exposure. It's a good idea to limit your exposure here, and you’ve done well by keeping it at around 10%.

5. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs 12,000
Another mid-cap fund in your portfolio, this allocation increases your exposure to mid-caps. While mid-caps have good growth potential, too much concentration in this category can amplify risk.

You’ve allocated 17% to mid-caps overall, which is slightly on the higher side. You may want to reduce this exposure slightly to balance your risk.

6. HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs 12,500
Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) dynamically manage the portfolio between equity and debt. This ensures lower volatility while giving reasonable returns.

Having 18% of your portfolio in a BAF adds stability and cushions against market fluctuations. This is an excellent choice for long-term wealth creation with moderate risk.

Diversification and Risk Management
Your portfolio is diversified across different types of equity funds—small-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, and sectoral funds. However, there’s a concentration of mid-cap and small-cap exposure, which could increase risk during market downturns. Since you are aiming for long-term wealth creation, I recommend a more balanced allocation.

Steps to Improve Diversification:

Reduce Sectoral Exposure: The Tata Digital Fund's high concentration in one sector can increase risk. You may want to limit sectoral funds to 5-7% of your overall portfolio.

Balance Mid-Cap Exposure: You’ve invested in two mid-cap funds. Consider reducing one to moderate your overall risk exposure.

Adding Another SIP of Rs 5,000
You mentioned starting a new Rs 5,000 SIP. Given your long-term horizon and focus on wealth creation, here’s what I suggest for further diversification:

1. Large-Cap Fund
Adding a large-cap fund will bring more stability to your portfolio. Large-cap funds tend to be less volatile and provide consistent returns, especially during market downturns.

This can act as a safety net, balancing the volatility of your small and mid-cap funds.

2. Hybrid or Dynamic Allocation Fund
If you're looking for more stability, you might consider adding a balanced or hybrid fund to your portfolio. These funds invest in both equity and debt instruments, which can stabilize your portfolio during market fluctuations.

A hybrid fund would complement your existing BAF and reduce overall portfolio risk.

3. International Equity Fund
You can also consider diversifying internationally by adding an international equity fund. These funds provide exposure to global markets and help diversify country-specific risks.

This can help balance the portfolio if Indian markets face periods of stagnation.

Disadvantages of Index and Direct Funds
Since you've opted for actively managed funds, I want to reinforce that you're on the right track. Index funds, although lower in cost, are passive and do not have the potential for outperformance in dynamic markets. In contrast, actively managed funds offer better opportunities as professional fund managers constantly analyze the market to maximize returns.

Also, it's wise to invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can guide you based on your financial goals and risk profile. While direct funds may save on expense ratios, they often lack personalized advice, which can cost you in the long term.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio has a solid foundation for long-term wealth creation, with a strong emphasis on small and mid-cap funds for growth. However, it would benefit from some adjustments to balance risk and improve diversification.

Consider reducing your sectoral and mid-cap exposure slightly to manage volatility.

Adding a large-cap or hybrid fund to your new SIP will provide more stability.

Investing for the long term with periodic reviews will ensure you stay aligned with your goals.

Stay disciplined with your investments, increase your SIPs regularly as planned, and avoid frequent changes. With a long-term vision and the right fund selection, your portfolio can grow significantly over time.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6689 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 18, 2024Hindi
Money
Hlo sir, im vijaylaxmi 24 yrs old i want to do sip please suggest which fund is best to invest
Ans: Vijaylaxmi, it’s great that you want to start investing at the young age of 24.

Starting early gives you the benefit of time.

Your investment horizon is likely to be long, which is ideal for SIP investments.

Before selecting any fund, it's important to understand your financial goals.

You need to assess your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives.

Since you are young, you can afford to take some risk, but that should align with your comfort level.

If you want to build wealth over the long term, equity mutual funds would suit your needs.

They have the potential to offer higher returns in the long run compared to other asset classes.

However, you should stay invested for at least 5-7 years to ride out market fluctuations.

Diversification Across Funds

It’s crucial to diversify your investments across different fund categories.

Diversification will reduce risk by spreading your money across different sectors and asset classes.

You can consider investing in large-cap funds, multi-cap funds, and mid-cap funds for diversification.

Each type of fund comes with its own level of risk and potential return.

Large-cap funds are more stable, while mid-cap and multi-cap funds can offer higher returns but come with higher volatility.

Why Not Index Funds?

You might hear people suggesting index funds, but let’s evaluate them.

Index funds simply track a market index like Nifty 50 or Sensex.

They don’t have active fund management, which means there’s no expert to make decisions during market ups and downs.

Although they have lower costs, their returns may not always outperform actively managed funds.

With actively managed funds, a professional fund manager selects stocks, making adjustments to take advantage of market opportunities.

The Benefits of SIP in Actively Managed Funds

SIP or Systematic Investment Plan is an excellent way to invest in mutual funds.

It helps you invest a fixed amount regularly, regardless of market conditions.

This instills financial discipline and reduces the impact of market volatility through rupee cost averaging.

You won’t need to worry about timing the market; SIP takes care of that for you.

Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially when you stay invested over the long term.

When you invest through SIP in an actively managed fund, you get the expertise of a fund manager making strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Regular Funds Over Direct Funds

Now, let’s talk about the mode of investment.

Direct funds may seem attractive because they have lower expense ratios, but investing through regular funds offers benefits.

Regular funds give you access to the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Their advice can help you make informed decisions about your portfolio, especially if market conditions change.

A regular plan allows you to get ongoing support for your investment journey.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner can help you align your portfolio with your financial goals.

They bring a deeper understanding of markets and can help optimize your asset allocation over time.

Flexibility in Fund Choices

While selecting funds, ensure that you pick flexible options.

Some funds are rigid and only invest in a certain category of stocks, which can limit their performance during different market cycles.

Flexible funds, like multi-cap funds, allow the fund manager to shift between large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions.

This flexibility can increase the fund’s chances of delivering consistent returns over time.

Equity Fund for Long-Term Goals

If your goal is long-term wealth creation, equity mutual funds are your best bet.

They generally outperform debt funds, FDs, and other conservative instruments over time.

Equity funds can offer better inflation-adjusted returns.

These funds invest in the stock market, which is why their potential for growth is higher.

However, they come with short-term volatility.

So, it’s important to have patience and a long-term perspective when investing in equity funds.

Growth or Dividend Option?

When investing in mutual funds, you will have to choose between the growth and dividend options.

Since you are young and likely looking to accumulate wealth, the growth option is more suited for you.

The growth option allows your investment to compound over time, as any profits earned by the fund are reinvested into the fund.

The dividend option provides periodic payouts, which is more suitable for investors seeking regular income.

In your case, you may not need regular income right now, so the growth option will help you build a larger corpus in the long run.

Taxation on Mutual Funds

When investing in mutual funds, it’s important to understand the tax implications.

For equity mutual funds, long-term capital gains (LTCG) are taxed at 12.5% after Rs 1.25 lakh.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

This means if you sell your equity mutual fund units before three years, the gains will be taxed as STCG.

If you hold the fund for longer than three years, any gains above Rs 1.25 lakh will be taxed as LTCG.

Since your investment horizon is long-term, this will work in your favor as you can take advantage of the LTCG benefit.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income

In the future, when you achieve your financial goals, you can convert your SIP investments into a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP).

An SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount of money from your investment at regular intervals.

This is an effective way to create a steady stream of income from your mutual fund investment.

It can be particularly useful for retirement planning.

Since you are young, you have plenty of time to grow your investments before you need to rely on SWP.

Final Insights

At the age of 24, starting an SIP is a brilliant move.

Your time horizon allows you to take on equity market risks, which can result in higher long-term returns.

Diversify your investments across different fund categories to balance risk and return.

Actively managed funds offer better prospects than index funds due to the expertise of fund managers.

Choosing the growth option will help you accumulate wealth faster, as your profits will be reinvested.

Remember to stay invested for at least 5-7 years to maximize your returns.

As you move forward, work with a Certified Financial Planner to review your portfolio and make adjustments when necessary.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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