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Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
yadnya Question by yadnya on Oct 01, 2023Hindi
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Hi currently sometimes I feel very low as couldn't cracking a competative exam like neet can you suggest how to get out of the phase and start afresh and achieve things and stop self critisscm

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel this way after a setback, but it's important to remember that setbacks are a part of life, and they can provide valuable learning experiences. Here are some steps you can take to get out of this phase, start afresh, and work towards your goals while reducing self-criticism:

Allow Yourself to Feel: It's okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or low after not achieving your desired outcome. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Don't be too hard on yourself. Understand that not achieving a specific goal does not define your worth as a person.
Reflect and Learn: Take some time to reflect on what went wrong and what you could have done differently. This reflection can help you identify areas for improvement in your study habits, strategies, or approach to exams.
Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable and realistic goals for yourself. Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This can make your goals feel more attainable and less overwhelming.
Create a Study Plan: If you're planning to retake the NEET exam or pursue another academic path, create a structured study plan. Make sure it's realistic, includes regular breaks, and allows time for revision.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family members, or a counselor about your feelings and aspirations. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can provide emotional support and fresh perspectives.
Positive Self-Talk: Replace self-criticism with positive self-talk. Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with constructive and encouraging ones. Remember that setbacks do not define your future success.
Focus on Well-being: Pay attention to your physical and mental well-being. Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and practice relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing to reduce stress.
Stay Motivated: Find sources of motivation and inspiration. This could be reading success stories, attending motivational talks, or connecting with people who have achieved similar goals.
Stay Persistent: Success often involves facing setbacks and obstacles. Keep in mind that perseverance is key to achieving your goals. Stay committed to your studies and your personal growth.
Consider Alternatives: If you find that pursuing a competitive exam isn't the right path for you or that it's causing you too much stress, it's okay to explore alternative career options that align with your interests and strengths.
Remember that success is a journey, and setbacks are a natural part of that journey. Use this time as an opportunity to learn, grow, and come back stronger. You have the potential to achieve your goals with determination, self-compassion, and a well-structured plan.

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Hi sir I feel like lost after my neet current exam everybody start noticing that i am getting in depression i was so near to goal then sudden bad turn occur now i am feeling little scared to start again i started doubting myself how can I improve myself and move ahead with confidence
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lost and experiencing difficulties after your NEET exam. It's understandable to feel disappointed when things don't go as planned, especially when you were close to achieving your goal. However, it's important to remember that setbacks are a part of life, and they don't define your abilities or potential.

Here are some suggestions to help you improve yourself, regain confidence, and move forward:

Allow yourself to feel your emotions: It's okay to feel sad, frustrated, or scared. Give yourself permission to acknowledge and process these emotions. Vent to someone you trust, write in a journal, or engage in activities that help you express your feelings.

Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your performance in the exam and identify areas where you could improve. This could involve analyzing your study habits, time management skills, or specific subjects/topics that need more attention.

Seek support: Reach out to family, friends, or mentors who can provide emotional support and guidance. They can help you gain perspective, offer advice, and remind you of your strengths.

Set realistic goals: Break down your long-term goal into smaller, achievable goals. This will give you a sense of progress and accomplishment along the way. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

Learn from your mistakes: Failure can be a valuable teacher. Analyze what went wrong in your preparation and exam strategy, and use those insights to adjust your approach. Look for opportunities to learn from your mistakes and make improvements for the future.

Develop a study plan: Create a structured study plan that includes dedicated time for each subject, regular breaks, and realistic goals. Set aside time for revision and practice tests to improve your understanding and test-taking skills.

Take care of yourself: Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, proper sleep, and relaxation techniques. Physical and mental well-being play a crucial role in maintaining focus and confidence.

Seek professional help if needed: If you continue to struggle with depression, anxiety, or persistent self-doubt, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide you with strategies to cope with stress, boost your confidence, and help you navigate through difficult emotions.

Remember, setbacks are temporary, and with determination and a positive mindset, you can overcome them. It's essential to believe in yourself and stay motivated. Don't let one setback define your entire journey. Focus on your strengths, learn from your experiences, and keep moving forward.

Best of luck to you!

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Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

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