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Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
yadnya Question by yadnya on Jun 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful

Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

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Hi mam i give neet with partial drop three times i always wanted to be a doctor in my whole family my brother and sister get their desired colleges i am not jealous of them but i sometimes feel neglected then i worked hard on my dreams as at my third attempt as i give at three months before it my final exam of college of other subject start i can't even quit that because i fear my family disappointment then i didn't able to give my 100 fully that makes me satisfied i feel so depressed that i didn't have courage to check marks while everyone is celebrating their success i feel lost can't i feel complete one good dream for myself all my family support me to do whatever you want but i can't decide i feel like tragiec the faith all i have put in myself feel like useless i crave to be success do something for my own but i can't known that such thing occur unexpectedly i feel depressed and my family think i am just doing because to gain their attention ,i keep unnessary exceptions from me ,is it crime to keep big dream althought i worked hard but it didn't take outi feel like lost all how can I get up and achieve something feel proud of myself
Ans: Dear Yadnya,
Dream Big and never be afraid to Fail. Most often, we are told that failure is not an option. Failure when accepted as a part of life, then loses power over us.
1. Never become attached to the outcome so that fear does not play in your mind
2. Understand that We win some and Lose some and losing does not mean all is lost
3. Draw a clear plan to achieve your goal
4. Work on your state of mind for optimum performance
5. Develop hobbies outside of studies that can support you have a positive outlook on a daily basis
6. Family and friends are your best support system, so talk to them regularly about your challenges to enable them to support you

Smile and dream big again; tomorrow is another new day.

All the best!

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Career
Please help me, I am 20 years old. I pass out class 12th from Maharashtra board in 2022, I have been preparing for NEET exam from class 11th, 2 years I studied in Aakash Institute gave NEET after class 12th, my first attempt 289/720 (2022). After that I decided to take one year drop, so I went Kota studied in Allen Institute for one year, My father took a loan of 5 lakhs for me, but again I failed in second attempt 362/720(2023), came back home, enrolled in a private university for bsc biotech and along with it I again start preparing, now only 6 days left for exam & i have not touch my book since last 1 month, I studied hard for few months after second failure but then I quit studying I waste my time into relationship,porn, overthinking, masturbation etc. Now what I should do I know I will fail again in my third attempt but what I will do after that? Should I start prepare for UPSC? Should I do BBA ? Im totally confused about my future! ease someone help me should I take regular admission into some university? Should I do BA? Im totally fucked up, I have even tried to end my life so many times, I have even ran away to haridwar when I was in Kota ..but things dont happen according to me i always failed in anything I do...My friend now are in their third year they will complete their undergraduation & im here whining about my life.. even my parents have started to hate me..leave relatives...please guide me my mental health has been derailed by these exams...please help me ???? i dont jave even friends to whom i share my pain and from whom i should get guidance
Ans: Hello,
first of all, you need to calm down & settle down your negative thought process. At least you are clear & honest enough to admit your mistakes. That's the first step towards success.

Decide your goal & make a road map to achieve it. Follow it diligently & avoid distractions that come along the journey. If you are unable to control your negative thoughts seek professional counseling. All the best.

..Read more

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Hello sir this is Nishat , I passed my 12th in the year 2023 with a good percentage but however I couldn’t see it for chemistry exam. So obviously I failed in that subject so I decided to again reappear for that exam and in 2024 I gave betterment exam from my state board in the subject biology and chemistry. However I scored far better in biology than last time but (Chemistry) I don’t know maybe it’s it’s because of the issues that we have with our board. I couldn’t score good marks so even I had decided to give (Chemistry) separately and so in 2024. I again set for (Chemistry) exam under nios I and I scored 80 so now the thing is that I’ll be having two mark sheet so while applying in need I cannot possibly select the code 2 because although I already have the state board certificate but the NIOS certificate is not yet out and it will be out by end of the March sir can I possibly select the code one that is appearing or will it create problems while counselling or is there any other option please help me out sir , I’m very desperate like I have prepared for neey for the last two years and I don’t want to put my hard work into vain. Please Sir help me out
Ans: Hello Nishtam
Please select code 1 without any fear. Focus more on your study. But considering your fear and anxiety with the chemistry subject, it is recommended that you choose other options than NEET. This time you appear without any fear.

If you like the reply, please follow me else ask again without hesitation.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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