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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Coach, I know that communication is the best way to be and remain connected in marriage. My wife and me are married since 12 years, but we don't have a healthy communication between us. I tried to tell her many times (by words, writing, whatsapp messages, etc.) that she needs to hear me out and not cut my sentence in between. But she will always cut my sentence in between and not allow me to speak. Due to this, she derives wrong meaning from a half sentence. On the contrary, I am a good listener and will never stop her from speaking or expressing herself. Please help me, how should I convince my wife to listen to me.

Ans: communication is not only about talking - its about listening too and unfortunately many of us do not follow this form of communication. Explain to your wife that its important for your relationship that she works on this habit to listen....also pretend to cut her sentence, not allowing her to speak - it will annoy her - it is then calmly explain to her that you did this to make her realise what you expereince.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

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I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a married man from last 20 years. I am unable to understand the psychology of my wife. she always complains me that she doesn't feel any belongingness from my end and keep her on last priority. further, I always take care of my mother, sisters and friends. I always talk to her in a very rude and loud voice. whenever i approach her she starts blaming me and after sometime, I became irritated by her repetitive statements. whenever she approach me to patch up after few moments she said that I am talking loud and non sense. please guide me how to tackle this problem to rejuvenate the relation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You yourself have identified that you talk rudely to your wife; so how do you expect her to relate to you.
If you have chosen to 'rejuvenate' the relation, then the way the two of you communicate with each other must be changed.
This is a suggestion for both of you to improve your communication:
1. Listen to the other patiently when they are talking
2. Ask: 'What can I do to make you feel better?'
3. Make sure that there are no accusations/complaints made during the communication
4. Practice compassion when the other person is talking
5. Don't interrupt them in between when they are talking

This is just the beginning and basic guidelines to begin communicating better. As the two of you see the benefits, you can then start to work on the challenges that you face from family. As much as you take care of your side of the family, make sure that you give enough attention to your wife as well and the same goes for her.
The two of you are simply crying out for each other's time and attention. Start with the basic suggestions and slowly take it on from there.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |415 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

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Relationship
Maam - I am recently facing trouble in my 22 year old marriage. I am unable to understand my wife's behaviour which according to her is very normal. I am unable to judge when she requires me. I have not been a caring husband and can be attributed to this behaviour of mine. She had got very along very well with our son all these while and now that he is in college and travels his behaviour also irritates her. She says that he has also changed a lot and have no respect for females, he has lots of secret which he is avoiding tell us. She is very much worried about it and I feel that has spilled over into our relation as well. We compromise for a few days which is mostly from my side but again on the 4th day it is back to the same.. Can you suggest some actions from my side which can help improve my relation with my wife and understand her better..
Ans: Sudesh,

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, but it's commendable that you're seeking ways to improve your relationship with your wife. Schedule regular times to talk openly and honestly with your wife about your feelings, concerns, and desires for the relationship. Encourage her to express herself as well. Active listening is crucial here.Try to see things from your wife's perspective and understand her concerns about your son's behavior. Validate her feelings and reassure her that you're there to support her.
Make an effort to spend quality time together as a couple. Plan activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. This could be anything from going for walks, having dinner dates, or pursuing mutual hobbies.
Work together with your wife to address any concerns about your son's behavior. Approach him with empathy and understanding, and try to create an open and supportive environment where he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and concerns. Consider couples therapy or counseling to work through any underlying issues in your relationship. A therapist can provide guidance and support in improving communication, understanding each other's needs, and resolving conflicts.Take time to reflect on your own behavior and actions within the relationship. Consider how you can be a more caring and attentive partner, and be willing to make changes where necessary.Improving a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient with yourself and your wife as you navigate through challenges and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Remember that it's okay to seek outside help and support when needed, and that small steps towards positive change can make a big difference in the long run.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am currently in 1 year CSE at NIT Warangal, please suggest me some additional courses with which I can improve my skills and get a good placement
Ans: As an initial step, please conduct research on the companies that have visited NIT-W for campus recruitment over the past 2-3 years. Review the websites of each company to familiarize yourself with the products and services they offer.
From this information, you will be able to discern the skills anticipated by each organization. Please document all necessary skills. Identify the skills that are commonly sought after by recruiters and companies. The senior students and faculty members of your institute in their fourth year will be available to assist you with this matter.
Upon reviewing the skills identified and those recommended by your Senior Students and Faculty, you will be positioned to finalize the Certifications you intend to pursue. Below are some recommended certification courses you may consider pursuing, contingent upon feedback from your senior students and faculty in the CSE Department: Programming Foundations, Data Structures and Algorithms (DSA), Web Development, App Development, Competitive Programming, Machine Learning and AI, Cybersecurity, Cloud Computing, and Blockchain. Acquire proficiency in programming languages such as C, C++, Python, and Java. Engage in practice through platforms like freeCodeCamp, HackRank, and CodeChef. Explore Python libraries including NumPy, Pandas, and TensorFlow, as well as delve into ethical hacking, network security, AWS, Microsoft Azure, and Google Cloud. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hi sir, I am worked 5 years in company and resigned, company given me FnF and not giving me 2 Months incentive they saying company will not give incentive left employees and they also not giving fnf break up, please help me what should I do now
Ans: If your employer declines to offer you incentives and a comprehensive Full and Final settlement breakdown, there are various steps you can consider taking. Begin by examining your employment documents, such as the letter of appointment, HR regulations, and any relevant communications. If you do not receive a satisfactory response, consider sending a formal email or letter to management or HR, outlining your reasons for declining the reward. If HR fails to respond, consider escalating the issue to higher management, such as the department head, CFO, or CEO. These approaches enhance the chances of resolving the issue in a friendly manner. Based on my experience in HR, I recommend that you AVOID approaching the Labour Department or Labour Court solely for your 2 months' incentives. It is advisable to proceed and explore other job opportunities after obtaining the Experience Certificate from your previous employer. If you adhere to the legal avenues, it may only create a negative perception of you, even if you are not at fault. Many companies, after hiring candidates, perform background checks with their previous employers, which could result in complications if you decide to approach the Labour Court. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future. Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ‘Jobs | Education | Careers’.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1332 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |709 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3942 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello I am a 40 year old unmarried male. I did my graduation in Hotel management and passed out in the year 2006. After that i worked in few hotels in India and intrest of work in operations of hotel fizzled out. I sat idle doing nothing for a year or so and den helped my dad with his business that we had. In 2009 i did my MBA marketing from a Pune university college and passed out in 2011. Due to my hotel mgmt background i started working in five star hotel marketing department after passing out my MBA marketing. I got the hotel marketing job in Nov 2011. I worked in the same hotel till April 2014 after which i got an apportunity to work with big corporate hospital in the corporate marketing department. I worked there till 2018 after which i got a opportunity to work in a bigger corporate hospital in a different city in the marketing department. I worked there till Sept 2022, after which i was forced to take a break from work coz needed to take care of my ailing mother who underwent a Liver transplant. I was forced to take a break of around one year and months and i did nothing but took care of my mothers health. In the meanwhile i also lost my father in Road accident. My mother is fine now and its been one year and four months after the Liver Transplant. I have again started working in the hospital that i use to work before in the same marketing department. No other hospitals were ready to take me in coz the gap tht i had in my career. I have started working since July 2024. Now i feel tht i have already lost a lot of ground in terms of my carrier. I feel tht i am not well paid. All my life i have been bullied a lot hence i have self confidence issues. I feel coz of the nature of my job and less salary that is 9 lakhs per annum i am not getting any proper marriage proposals. I have not able to save anything in my life coz all my life i hav only worked and spent all my money on others. I also feel tht compared to others i lag in knowlege as well. Self confidence is the biggest problem. I want to grow now in my career and improve my personality now. I want you to guide in regards with the career as well and also means to improve my overall life. I want someone to talk to who would help and be guide at this moment of my life. Can someone of you make time and i can talk to them, so tht i could get direction in life. Right now emotionally, mentally and i feel physically also have hit my rock bottom.
Ans: I applaud your treatment and story-sharing bravery. You've surmounted terrible odds, and your progress is admirable. Simplify and construct a career and personal plan. You Grow Career: You have varied hotel and hospital marketing. You may feel behind, but your experience is valuable. The next step? Digital, healthcare, and data analytics credentials improve marketing skills. LinkedIn Learning, Coursera, and Google provide affordable, flexible courses. Return to industry professional networks. Attend hospital marketing events and webinars to network with mentors and employers. Healthcare Marketing is popular. To stand out, focus on patient involvement, brand strategy, or digital efforts. Better Choices: Pharma, health tech, and healthcare marketing occupations pay more. Showcase your suffering and perseverance. Startups and medical device companies value adaptable marketing.
Financial safety: Budgeting: Save on a strict budget. Even a small monthly savings can provide stability. Set aside 3-6 months of living expenditures for emergencies.
Think about low-risk investments like mutual funds or term deposits to grow your savings.

Rebuild your self-confidence step-by-step:
Personal Development: To overcome bullying and regain self-worth, see a psychologist. Grateful: Celebrate small victories daily. Gain long-term self-esteem. To boost energy and confidence, walk, perform yoga, or go to the gym. Stress reduction and resilience can be achieved with Calm and Headspace meditation applications. Online or local career transition support groups can provide social and emotional help. Others' tales inspire.
Marriage proposals: If you are emotionally ready, willing to grow, and honest with your partner, you should be married at 40, even with a low salary. How you grow together is key to many successful partnerships. You need someone who values you for who you are, not simply your salary. Befriend Positive Friends and Coworkers. Instant Actions: Ask local Career Coaches and mentors for unique advice. Update LinkedIn, Resume: Emphasize career accomplishments. Encourage resilience and accountability during your break.
Goals: Set 3-6 month and 1-2 year career and personal improvement goals.
Getting past personal issues demonstrates strength. Returning to work shows resilience. Success is nonlinear and takes persistence. Choose small, daily acts that promote your goals. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.
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