Dear Coach, I know that communication is the best way to be and remain connected in marriage. My wife and me are married since 12 years, but we don't have a healthy communication between us. I tried to tell her many times (by words, writing, whatsapp messages, etc.) that she needs to hear me out and not cut my sentence in between. But she will always cut my sentence in between and not allow me to speak. Due to this, she derives wrong meaning from a half sentence. On the contrary, I am a good listener and will never stop her from speaking or expressing herself. Please help me, how should I convince my wife to listen to me.

Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You yourself have identified that you talk rudely to your wife; so how do you expect her to relate to you.
If you have chosen to 'rejuvenate' the relation, then the way the two of you communicate with each other must be changed.
This is a suggestion for both of you to improve your communication:
1. Listen to the other patiently when they are talking
2. Ask: 'What can I do to make you feel better?'
3. Make sure that there are no accusations/complaints made during the communication
4. Practice compassion when the other person is talking
5. Don't interrupt them in between when they are talking

This is just the beginning and basic guidelines to begin communicating better. As the two of you see the benefits, you can then start to work on the challenges that you face from family. As much as you take care of your side of the family, make sure that you give enough attention to your wife as well and the same goes for her.
The two of you are simply crying out for each other's time and attention. Start with the basic suggestions and slowly take it on from there.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

Ans: I understand this situation is very challenging for you. It’s clear that you care deeply about your wife and want to repair the relationship. The key here is to show her that you truly understand why this incident was significant to her and to demonstrate a genuine commitment to change.

First, it's important to acknowledge the impact of your actions. Sit down with your wife and express that you understand why she feels hurt and betrayed by your lie. Let her know that you recognize how important honesty is to her and that you see why this situation has caused her so much distress. Use this conversation to validate her feelings without trying to defend your actions or make excuses.

When you apologize, make sure it's heartfelt and sincere. Instead of a simple "I'm sorry," explain what you are sorry for and how you plan to ensure this doesn’t happen again. For example, you could say, "I deeply regret lying to you about the light bulb situation. I understand that my actions hurt you and damaged your trust in me. Moving forward, I am committed to being completely honest with you, no matter how small the matter may seem."

Next, demonstrate your commitment to change through actions, not just words. This might involve openly communicating about small things that you might have previously brushed off. Showing consistency in your behavior over time can help rebuild trust.

Also, consider exploring why you feel the need to tell "soft lies." Understanding this about yourself can help you address the root cause and change this behavior. You might find it helpful to talk with a therapist or counselor to get to the bottom of this tendency and develop strategies to overcome it.

Lastly, give her space and time if she needs it. Pressuring her to forgive you immediately might push her further away. Show her through your actions and your patience that you are committed to making things right.

Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort, but by demonstrating genuine remorse, understanding, and a willingness to change, you can start to repair your relationship. Your commitment to honesty and openness moving forward will be crucial in showing her that she can trust you again.

Ans: Sudesh,

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, but it's commendable that you're seeking ways to improve your relationship with your wife. Schedule regular times to talk openly and honestly with your wife about your feelings, concerns, and desires for the relationship. Encourage her to express herself as well. Active listening is crucial here.Try to see things from your wife's perspective and understand her concerns about your son's behavior. Validate her feelings and reassure her that you're there to support her.
Make an effort to spend quality time together as a couple. Plan activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. This could be anything from going for walks, having dinner dates, or pursuing mutual hobbies.
Work together with your wife to address any concerns about your son's behavior. Approach him with empathy and understanding, and try to create an open and supportive environment where he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and concerns. Consider couples therapy or counseling to work through any underlying issues in your relationship. A therapist can provide guidance and support in improving communication, understanding each other's needs, and resolving conflicts.Take time to reflect on your own behavior and actions within the relationship. Consider how you can be a more caring and attentive partner, and be willing to make changes where necessary.Improving a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient with yourself and your wife as you navigate through challenges and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Remember that it's okay to seek outside help and support when needed, and that small steps towards positive change can make a big difference in the long run.