Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Raju Question by Raju on Feb 27, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.

Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi, Anu krishna I am shekhar from Hyd, My wife always comparing the life with rich people. for that she build the pressure on me any thing . But I am explaining actual situation but she did not understand. Already once i tried for business for 3 years for her satisfaction earn the money. But that 3 years we loosed any thing and once upon time I tried attempted suicided. Then I come back and re-started my professional job. Now again i am in well position but not my wife expected level. Now my wife again and again pressurizing, earn the money. How can I explain to my wife smoothly without disturbing her mind. please help me
Ans: Dear Manny,
You cannot keep yielding to your wife's demands of becoming rich by comparing you to other rich people. No money is enough money and this is something that must understand.
If she isn't happy with your current professional job, no matter what you do, she has decided not to approve of it.
Money is not earned only by doing business but it can come through a job as well. You cannot be under this pressure of earning more money as it will start to affect your mental and physical health.
Kindly speak with her by putting down the problem as you face it or else request someone from her family to speak with her.
Money is not everything but when we compare ourselves to someone who makes more money than us, the mind becomes stressed and almost obsessive that we can make more mistakes. Time for you to speak up your mind and do what you think is right as what you need right now is stability from your losses. Speaking your mind will also help you manage your stress better. Your wife may not understand this now, but someday she will understand why you had to do this and continue with the job for the time being.
All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am a married man from last 20 years. I am unable to understand the psychology of my wife. she always complains me that she doesn't feel any belongingness from my end and keep her on last priority. further, I always take care of my mother, sisters and friends. I always talk to her in a very rude and loud voice. whenever i approach her she starts blaming me and after sometime, I became irritated by her repetitive statements. whenever she approach me to patch up after few moments she said that I am talking loud and non sense. please guide me how to tackle this problem to rejuvenate the relation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You yourself have identified that you talk rudely to your wife; so how do you expect her to relate to you.
If you have chosen to 'rejuvenate' the relation, then the way the two of you communicate with each other must be changed.
This is a suggestion for both of you to improve your communication:
1. Listen to the other patiently when they are talking
2. Ask: 'What can I do to make you feel better?'
3. Make sure that there are no accusations/complaints made during the communication
4. Practice compassion when the other person is talking
5. Don't interrupt them in between when they are talking

This is just the beginning and basic guidelines to begin communicating better. As the two of you see the benefits, you can then start to work on the challenges that you face from family. As much as you take care of your side of the family, make sure that you give enough attention to your wife as well and the same goes for her.
The two of you are simply crying out for each other's time and attention. Start with the basic suggestions and slowly take it on from there.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Career
Hi,my son has got 96% in his icse class 10 exams this year.he is not inclined towards a career in sciences (b.tech/med).he has thus opted for commerce and maths.with an initial inclination towards finance and mathematics we have shortlisted ipm and law and enrolled him for a coaching for ipm.would he be able to prepare for clat as well along with ipm.and with 96 % how are his chances to clear both ?
Ans: Yes, your son can prepare for both CLAT and IPM exams simultaneously, especially given his ICSE score. With a 96% score, he has a strong chance of success in both exams. CLAT and IPM share some common ground, which could make preparation more manageable.
Preparation for both CLAT and IPM:
CLAT:
CLAT requires a strong foundation in English comprehension, logical reasoning, quantitative reasoning, and legal reasoning. IPM exams also test similar skills.
IPM:
IPM exams focus on quantitative ability, analytical reasoning, and verbal reasoning. CLAT also assesses these skills.
Overlap:
The core skills tested in both exams, such as quantitative reasoning, verbal reasoning, and logical reasoning, provide common ground for preparation. Your son's coaching for IPM can help him develop a solid foundation in these areas.
Legal Reasoning:
CLAT specifically requires legal reasoning, which is not part of IPM. Your son can focus on preparing for this section separately.
Scheduling:
Balancing preparation for both exams requires careful planning. He can allocate specific time slots for each exam's preparation.
Chances of Clearing Both:
IPM:
With a 96% ICSE score, your son has a strong chance of clearing IPM exams. His high marks indicate a strong aptitude for quantitative reasoning and problem-solving.
CLAT:
CLAT is a highly competitive exam, but with his current scores, your son has a very good chance of clearing CLAT.
Factors affecting success:
Preparation efforts, effective time management, and consistency in studying will play a crucial role in determining success in both exams.
Tips for Preparation:
Structured Approach:
A structured study plan that includes regular practice, mock tests, and detailed analysis of mistakes will be beneficial.
Mock Tests:
Regular mock tests for both CLAT and IPM will help him assess his progress and identify areas for improvement.
Time Management:
Developing effective time management skills is crucial for balancing preparation for both exams.
Focus on Fundamentals:
Ensure he has a strong foundation in the core subjects of both exams.
Practice:
He should solve a variety of questions and practice problems to build confidence and improve his speed and accuracy.
Best of luck. Professor

...Read more

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
Career
Hello sir, I'm a DASA student applying to IIITH for the 2025-26 batch. My current curriculum is the NSW HSC from Australia, which includes Mathematics and Physics but not Chemistry. IIITH requires Maths, Physics, and Chemistry for DASA eligibility, and I need to figure out how to add Chemistry.I've been looking into taking Chemistry through NIOS (National Institute of Open Schooling), AP or IB board but I'm concerned because IIITH's brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed "outside India". I've emailed IIITH for clarification, but I'm still waiting for a response. Is this acceptable for DASA?
Ans: It is unlikely that IIIT Hyderabad would accept NIOS Chemistry for DASA eligibility because the DASA brochure states that the subjects must be completed outside India. Since NIOS is an Indian board, it does not meet this requirement. However, you could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry to meet the requirements, as these are often recognized as international qualifications. It's best to wait for IIITH's response to your email for official clarification.
Elaboration:
DASA Requirements:
DASA (Direct Admissions for Students Abroad) at IIIT Hyderabad requires applicants to have completed 11th and 12th grades or equivalent outside India, with a minimum of 60% marks in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics.
NIOS and IIITH:
While NIOS is a recognized board in India, it's unlikely to be accepted for DASA at IIITH because the DASA brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed outside India.
AP or IB Chemistry:
You could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry through a foreign board to fulfill the requirement for Chemistry. These are often recognized as international qualifications.
Waiting for IIITH's Response:
Since you've already emailed IIITH, it's advisable to wait for their response to your query for official clarification on whether NIOS Chemistry would be accepted.

...Read more

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, My age is 33 year now. I was working in financial sector for 5year as a recovery agent. I have done intermediate in Arts and Diploma in mechanical engineering. Passed out in 2012. Now i want to change my job sector to technical line. I have no experience before in technical line. Please guide me which technical job will be best suitable for me And What Salary Range Should i expect?.
Ans: For you AMIE ( Mechanical) will be the best option. You will be equivalent to B.E./B.Tech Mechanical. The details are given below.
The AMIE (Associate Member of the Institution of Engineers) exam is a professional qualification in engineering, equivalent to a B.E./B.Tech. degree. It's conducted by the Institution of Engineers (India) (IEI) and is offered as a distance learning program. The exam is held twice a year, in June and December.
Exam Structure:
Stage I (Section A): Focuses on fundamental engineering subjects.
Stage II (Section B): Covers a specific branch of engineering like Civil, Electrical, or Mechanical.
Eligibility:
Educational Qualification:
Candidates must have completed a recognized course of study in engineering or technology.
Age:
No upper age limit, but candidates must be at least 18 years old on the first day of the examination.
Other:
Indian citizens or foreign nationals with at least two years of residence in India.
Exam Pattern:
The exam is based on multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
It can be taken online (CBT) or offline (PBT).
Benefits:
Becoming a graduate engineer with the same qualification as a B.E./B.Tech. degree.
Recognized by government and private sectors.
Least expensive compared to traditional degree programs.
Application Process:
Download the application form from the IEI website.
Fill out the form and attach the required documents.
Pay the application fee.
Submit the application form along with the fee.

But since you did the recovery work in Finance sector you are totally detached from Mechanical Engineering. So it is not possible to say what kind of job you will get and what will be your salary.

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |393 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 14, 2025

Career
I'm preparing for Neet and wanted to take a drop but my parents wanted me to do something with it like a partial Drop......And right now I'm totally confused what to do and what not.........i think I should take BSC zoology in private colleges , can anyone suggest me something..........
Ans: Hi Prirhvi,

Based on your query, there are two main issues to consider:

1. You want to take a break (which may be partial or full).
2. You want to pursue a BSc in Zoology.

Before making any decisions, take some time to think and analyze your situation.

Firstly, evaluate your marks in the HSC and your recent NEET exam scores (if you have appeared for NEET 2025). If you have completed both exams, focus on turning your weaker subjects into strengths. Be prepared to answer any questions someone may pose. Without this preparation, taking a break may not be effective.

Secondly, if you decide to take a gap year, you should not also consider studying another course concurrently, as this could divert your attention and hinder your main goal. Remember, undergraduate courses are semester-based, meaning you will need to manage both NEET preparation and your regular UG courses (including internal exams, semester exams, etc.). Juggling both can be quite challenging.

If you believe it is possible to manage both, I suggest that instead of choosing Zoology for your UG, you consider subjects like Chemistry or Physics. These subjects are foundational and can be better understood through regular UG coursework. Therefore, you should not worry too much about that particular subject. However, it’s not advisable to select Zoology and take a break for NEET preparation at the same time. If you have doubts in Physics or Chemistry, you can seek clarification from your lecturers.

In summary, my suggestion is to concentrate on one goal and work towards achieving it.

BEST WISHES.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x