Hi Anu, I am working in a central psu and my wife works for state govt and both are 48 yrs. We are married for 20 yrs and have 2 sons (20 &16). She is never expressive nor vocal, because of this our marital relationship have not seen even a single day of happiness. Her parents never ever made her realised that problem can be from her side too nor asked me even a single time whats is bothering me. She is over ambitious in her job and neglects everything in the personal life. This negligence started from the day 1 of the married life. She never try to understand the problem and reasons behind and just ignore and move ahead. This makes life miserable and likewise 20 yrs passed.. Its like when sons are moving out of home, I feel very much alone and sometimes feels to runaway from life...She dont show any emotions, giving the reasons that its her nature...She says loves me, but whats that love which is not felt by me for a single day...I wanted a wife not a nurse.. What to do....I lost my hope of life.

Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.

I am working in a central psu and my wife works for state govt and both are 48 yrs. We are married for 20 yrs and have 2 sons (20 &16). She is never expressive nor vocal, because of this our marital relationship have not seen even a single day of happiness. Her parents never ever made her realised that problem can be from her side too nor asked me even a single time whats is bothering me. She is over ambitious in her job and neglects everything in the personal life. This negligence started from the day 1 of the married life. She never try to understand the problem and reasons behind and just ignore and move ahead. This makes life miserable and likewise 20 yrs passed.. Its like when sons are moving out of home, I feel very much alone and sometimes feels to runaway from life...She dont show any emotions, giving the reasons that its her nature...She says loves me, but whats that love which is not felt by me for a single day...I wanted a wife not a nurse.. What to do....I lost my hope of life.

I am a 41 yr old man. Married for the last 17 yrs, my wife is now 37 yrs old. w are Bengalis but now due t my work stay in Bengaluru. we had an arranged marriage but soon after the marriage I found her to be very irresponsible, she had the mentality that her husband has to be responsible for all her whims & fancies without any expectation from her. Though her family was more like ours middle class & financially poorer then us Initially I thought that she will mature with time. Within 1 yr we had our 1st kid who is 16 yrs old & in 11th now. Thinking she will now be responsible as mother but found very little change & I had to force/push her to do maternal duties while I managed the other things despite myself working as an engineer in an mnc & she being a housewife. next year we had our 2nd kid. This pressure was reflected in my office & my performance suffered, anyway I managed to stay afloat. Giving her any family task always resulted in her doing a coverup job & when things went wrong I had to set it right as the family or there will be monetary loss. Obviously I used to tell her about all this, then she will be OK for 1-2 weeks then again back to same. Even taking care of the children there studies soon became my responsibility. One thing was good was our sexual life which what I understand she is good & this gave me somewhat something to bear her Though other factor like middle class mentality that parents should not move out for the kids sake kept me somewhat tied to her & tried to make myself happy.Last year around June she told me that she will like to leave me as she wants to marry one of her telegu friend's brother who works in Dubai now, given my above reason I was not very upset on hearing this but was worried about our kids the eldest then gave his 10th exam & younger was promoted to class 10. After some talks & persuasion she agreed that she will wait for 3 yrs ie the younger kid to complete her schooling & going to college, & also keep the whole things secret with only 4-5 people knowing it, this she has responsibly done. Now its 1 year & I am in a very bad situation & need your support first she is now completely without any responsibility of the kids or family, she just cooks the meals sees that the maids work & even if I tell her to look into what the kids are studying or take the small responsibility like waking them up or minor things like go to the shop etc , she simply declines & always she is busy browsing or chatting, in Feb her to be husband came to Bangalore & she spend 2 nights with him in a resort. I did not want the kids to know about all this as it will mentally disturb them so I had to make stories to them about there mom going to a friend's marriage etc. He is again coming in mid July & they are planning to go out again.. My delima is I can bear the whole thing with a glimmer of hope that our separation maybe avoided which makes a somewhat social negativeness for me my parents & my kids but am I doing the right thing or being desperate is what I should be? The second point is something which I am feeling very uneasy to write, though we have decided to separate & she is having sex with this guy but we are still have sex, I dont want to really worry that she having sex with me is cheating with her to be husband but as I told you before it is really relaxing & gives me the strength to bear all this... Please suggest what I should do, immediately leave her which will end the story though I am not really ready if I & the kids will be able to take the social slur or wait for another 2 years with the hope that maybe things will change