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My Negative Thoughts Are Ruining My Life: How Can I Stop Them?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Buddhu Question by Buddhu on Oct 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I am very troubled with negative thoughts for quite sometime. Thoughts about putting someone down or any activity not going to go right or imaginary argumentative conversations leading to me showing down the other person keeps preoccupying my mind. Basically I am trying to show down the other person or situation and trying to win my hand or situation. It keeps me occupied majority of the time even when I am driving, taking a walk or running, eating, during meditation as well. For real events like if I have to go buy something, I imaging the seller cheating me, giving me faulty product or not charging me more etc., while in reality it may not happen and I will take a sigh of relief. I was not like this. I was a very happy, positive & optimistic as a child, throughout school, college, at work and used to be an inspiration to many. I think my ruminations have slowly commenced as I grew in age and slowly the positivity has lead to negativity & anger. I am in fifties now. I have been trying to practice Vipassana meditation, trying to get back to exercise but it is not helping. This has increase multifold as in my daily interactions, I always find people/friends poking fun of me and trying to put me down and I fight back even though knowing that it will be of no use. I am nice to my friends and people around me but they are not the same to me. Due to this I am beginning to reduce my interactions and get away from the abuse. Though I feel that I still look at everything in a positive light but the negative ruminations due to the everyday insults / slights have begun to bother me a lot and not able to have positive thoughts. Interaction with family is also suffering. Once upon a time I had many friends who I could talk to freely without prejudice but now I don't as most of them are not nice anymore even when I am very nice, positive & encouraging with them. I hope, I made some sense. Seeking help and guidance.

Ans: Dear Buddhu,
There's obviously something that has triggered you to think and act differently and that is not known here.
The best way I can suggest is: To start journaling. To write down the days events can help you decipher what's happening and what have been your reactions to events during the day. It will give you an idea on what to change.
Find and ways and means of replacing all the negative thoughts and actions during the day with something more useful. Soon, you will be in a place where journaling not only becomes a habit but also it will in a way guide you into meaningful ways during instances for the following days.
So, make that Journal your Guide.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1056 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son secured CRL below 800 in Jee advance 2024 but did not take admission in IIT rather took admission in a third grade college and currently pursuing Btech CSE. I am worried about his future. Can he get success in future?
Ans: Hello.
You did not mention which IIT college and course your son was getting. You also did not mention which college he has been admitted to. It seems that there is a wide communication gap between you and your son. Surprisingly, a candidate getting admission to IIT rejected it and went to a 3rd-grade college (as per your opinion). You are also not clear about, what was role when your son was denied to take admission to IIT and chose a 3rd-grade engineering college. There are lots of possibilities that your son has been denied IIT college which can't be discussed on this public platform.
It seems that your son is a talented, hard worker which is already reflected in his JEE result, there is no need to worry about his future. These types of candidates are less dependent on the college and faculty. They have their inbuilt capability to learn and excel in the life. There is no need to worry much about the decision taken by your son. Just observe that, whether he is attending college regularly and engaged in extracurricular activities. If he scores well in CSE, a bright future is waiting for him. Remember, a job career is less dependent on the college name! Nowadays, show your extraordinary skills and get the job!

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 55 yrs of age. I want to invest Rs.5000/- pm in Mutual funds for a period of 5 years. Can you suggest me which Mutual funds are best for me to proceed.
Ans: At 55 years, financial planning focuses on achieving a blend of growth, stability, and tax efficiency. A systematic investment of Rs. 5000 per month in mutual funds for five years is a commendable step. This detailed plan outlines an optimal approach tailored to your needs.

Understanding Your Goals
Capital Preservation and Moderate Growth
Your investment horizon of five years suggests a moderate-risk strategy. While growth is important, safeguarding capital is equally critical at this stage in life.

Liquidity and Accessibility
Investments should provide liquidity to meet any unforeseen expenses. Funds with shorter lock-in periods or high liquidity are ideal.

Tax Efficiency
Tax implications can significantly impact net returns. A focus on tax-efficient funds and strategies will maximize your earnings.

Suggested Investment Strategy
A diversified approach ensures a balance between growth and stability. Below is a breakdown of recommended fund types:

1. Actively Managed Equity Funds
These funds can deliver superior returns by leveraging fund managers’ expertise.
They help you capitalize on opportunities that passive index funds miss.
Over five years, these funds can outperform benchmarks significantly.
2. Balanced Advantage Funds
Balanced Advantage Funds manage risk effectively by dynamically adjusting between equity and debt.
They offer stability while ensuring growth through equity exposure.
These are suitable for investors who want moderate risk with decent returns.
3. Debt-Oriented Funds
Debt funds provide stability and are less volatile compared to equity funds.
They ensure a steady income stream with lower risk.
Ideal for a portion of your portfolio to counter equity market fluctuations.
Why Avoid Index Funds?
Index funds track market benchmarks but lack active decision-making.
They do not adapt to changing market dynamics.
Actively managed funds, on the other hand, outperform during volatile periods due to skilled management.
The Pitfalls of Direct Fund Investments
While direct funds seem cost-effective, they require hands-on expertise and time. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers multiple advantages:

Expert Management: A CFP selects funds that align with your financial goals and risk appetite.
Portfolio Monitoring: They ensure your investments remain on track, adjusting for market changes.
Reduced Stress: You avoid the hassle of analyzing market trends and managing investments independently.
Regular plans through a CFP, combined with professional fund distribution, deliver better returns and convenience.

Allocating Your Rs. 5000 Monthly Investment
Equity Funds: Allocate 40-50% of your monthly investment. Equity funds offer growth and higher returns over five years.
Balanced Funds: Allocate 30-40% for stability. These funds balance growth and protection.
Debt Funds: Invest 10-20% to reduce overall portfolio risk. These funds ensure consistent returns.
By diversifying across these fund types, you minimize risks and maximize returns.

Tax Implications of Mutual Fund Investments
1. Taxation on Equity Funds
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
2. Taxation on Debt Funds
Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Investing for three years or more in debt funds provides indexation benefits.
3. Optimal Tax Strategy
Opt for funds with low turnover to reduce taxable events.
Hold funds for a longer term to benefit from lower tax rates on LTCG.
Key Considerations for Your Investment Journey
Periodic Reviews: Evaluate your portfolio every six months to ensure alignment with your goals.
Avoid Over-Diversification: Limiting your investments to a few funds simplifies tracking and enhances returns.
Reinvestment of Gains: Use returns from mutual funds for reinvestment to maximize compounding benefits.
Benefits of Working with a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner adds immense value to your investment journey. Here's how:

Tailored Investment Plan: They customize fund selection based on your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Expert Portfolio Management: Regular reviews and adjustments enhance your portfolio performance.
Holistic Financial Planning: A CFP aligns your mutual fund investments with other financial goals, such as retirement or child education.
This approach ensures a seamless investment experience with optimal outcomes.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 5000 monthly in mutual funds over five years can yield significant results with the right approach. By diversifying into equity, balanced, and debt funds, you achieve a balance of growth and stability. Avoid direct and index funds, as they lack the benefits of expert management.

A Certified Financial Planner ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals, maximizing returns while minimizing risks. Regular portfolio reviews and disciplined investing will lead you toward financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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