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Stuck College Student Seeking Help with Self-Doubt and Indecision

Anu Krishna |1350 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by harsh on Sep 16, 2024Hindi

Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.

Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Asked on - Nov 20, 2024 | Answered on Nov 21, 2024

1.Well, maybe the truth of quit & start is, I don't want to leave that point of poorness, helplessness, imaginative king. Yes, I hate it & thats Y I try to change everything ...but knowing what should I do, knowing the ability to do, can make plans, can think & get ideas..but"not able" to put them into action & even if does breaks it!!(no consistency, discipline, no"reward"..as every worthwhile thing demands delayed gratification) proves that I don't want to leave the point. 2. When I try to change or become that"study guy", I avoid/delete every time wasting thing, And then it feels like every thing/people around me are better than me(knowing that everyone hv their own problems/insecurity..) Which works as distraction/loss-focus/ underestimating self.. which causes to break the mission & returns back to same point. Just like spiral loop where u start & feel u are growing but comes back to same point...& starts again. 3.By self questioning( of why&how ,solution) I found I hv writing skills(means I can write anything on any topic) but lack in speaking skills that's Y I'm not that good for social things( wether family or peoples) patterns are same like.. how/what should I start, will they like it, that should be funny, & should be able to make good impression...not able to take action & lack of thought to speech makes it worse. 4.I hv just told things which I know & my weak points but lack of being "self-accountable" is the main problem i guess :( 5. These are the result of 3 pages self-question & journal... So, give ur remarks & Help me!! Cuz I'm stuck don't know what to ask at this point :( maybe some ways or commands.

Ans: Dear Harsh,
You are yet again just explaining yourself and the more you do that, you will feel more helpless and stuck.
I have suggested to you: start one thing and finish it. Your brain will understand that as completion, mark it as a success point and you will have a tendency to repeat it with another activity.
Is there a command: oh yes! You can always tell yourself every night as you are about to fall asleep that you will finish every task from the next day.
Now, just don't depend on this BUT have a clear idea of your goals.
Goal setting and following it have many videos and you may watch them and get an idea.

Start somewhere, go slow...and make sure whatever activity you take on, you feel motivated else you will want to Quit again. Feeling inspired is a good way to keep yourself on track.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/