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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by omveer on Apr 12, 2023Hindi

hi Anu ji, good Afternoon!!! I am 45 and well settled.my wife loves me lot.I also love her.we have 3 childrens.we all are living a very happy life. I have a big concern that i always attract by other females.I was extra marital affair also.but now it closed.i have tried many times that it not happened.But failed to control. In morning i do morning walk,GYM and meditation .Its my daily routine to walk up at 5.30am and give self 1.30hrs.daily. All things are in control perhaps this. Please suggest what to do.

Ans: Dear Omveer,
Now only you can tell yourself the reason for looking for attention outside of marriage.
is it to drive away the stale air from the marriage or just validation from another woman to boost your self-esteem?
Whatever that is won't last long and you will get caught in a loop of never-ending chat windows living in a imaginary world of someone else making you feel better about yourself.
Instead you might want to try spicing things up within your marriage. Date nights, vacations together, cooking together, gym or meditation together...anything that helps the two of you to connect better can help you refocus on your marriage with a new pair of eyes.
Your choice creates your life...choose well...

All the best!

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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Question by IS - Nov 16, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu, I don't want to disclose my name. I am married and have two children. I have a beautiful wife but I always tend to think about having a relationship with other women. I haven't had any relationship but I also want to be loyal to my wife. Our sex life is average. Everyday I try to avoid thinking this is useless but I can’t. Please advice.

Ans:

Dear IS,

What we try and avoid, we obsess over that more.

What is the real reason for wanting a relationship outside of marriage?

It is very easy and tempting to run away from facing issues that might be plaguing your marriage and hold on to something outside. Justifications maybe many.

Have you and your wife worked out issues at an emotional level.

Sex is one element of marriage and not the only one.

Maybe she feels emotionally disconnected from you as you might feel physically disconnected from her.

Whatever it is, bringing another person into a marriage isn’t going to sort out anything.

But if you have decided that a few complications aren’t going to hurt, well that is what is leading you to obsess over wanting another woman.

Instead, can you actually think of rebuilding the marriage? Of course, the want needs to be there else it’s a pointless exercise.

It takes a lot of work and patience and calm understanding between spouses to make a marriage work. Slippages can cost a parson his/ her marriage.

So, maybe it’s time to actually list down the best qualities you see in your wife and oh, yes WHY the two of you married in the first place, This WHY can re-energize you to look at things differently and more usefully.

The fact that you want to be loyal to your wife does suggest that there is a lot of love and care still in the marriage.

Who knows, the obsessive thoughts may fade…give your marriage another chance. I am sure you know that it deserves that chance!

All the best!

Relationship