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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
IS Question by IS on Nov 16, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu,
I don't want to disclose my name. I am married and have two children.
I have a beautiful wife but I always tend to think about having a relationship with other women.
I haven't had any relationship but I also want to be loyal to my wife. Our sex life is average.

Everyday I try to avoid thinking this is useless but I can’t. Please advice.

Ans:

Dear IS,

What we try and avoid, we obsess over that more.

What is the real reason for wanting a relationship outside of marriage?

It is very easy and tempting to run away from facing issues that might be plaguing your marriage and hold on to something outside. Justifications maybe many.

Have you and your wife worked out issues at an emotional level.

Sex is one element of marriage and not the only one.

Maybe she feels emotionally disconnected from you as you might feel physically disconnected from her.

Whatever it is, bringing another person into a marriage isn’t going to sort out anything.

But if you have decided that a few complications aren’t going to hurt, well that is what is leading you to obsess over wanting another woman.

Instead, can you actually think of rebuilding the marriage? Of course, the want needs to be there else it’s a pointless exercise.

It takes a lot of work and patience and calm understanding between spouses to make a marriage work. Slippages can cost a parson his/ her marriage.

So, maybe it’s time to actually list down the best qualities you see in your wife and oh, yes WHY the two of you married in the first place, This WHY can re-energize you to look at things differently and more usefully.

The fact that you want to be loyal to your wife does suggest that there is a lot of love and care still in the marriage.

Who knows, the obsessive thoughts may fade…give your marriage another chance. I am sure you know that it deserves that chance!

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am happily marrried for 11 years with no kids. This doesnt hamper our relationship and I wish to continue my life happily. Issue is i feel urge to chat with female friends, get into sexting and in a couple of instances got physical as well. In this process i have lost a few friends also as they did get intimate during the chat but later on felt guilty. I do not feel guilty. Me and my wife indulge in roleplays during foreplay and i am also open to be a cuckold during that. Sometimes she enjoys the talk of someone else but sometimes she gets turned off by it. I truely love her and would never leave her. But this habit of mine has cost me a few friends and i am afraid if she would come to know about this, it will destroy her emotionally which i do not want.
Ans: Dear Suraj,
Well, if both of you consent to this experimentation in the bedroom, alright...be happy! But, if she is not comfortable with something, then better to talk about it rather than push it any further. It's fun as long as both the partners enjoy it.
But, what seems to bother you is losing your friends due to intimate chats. Why are you indulging in it? Is it another form of experimentation? Is it an experience that serves you in a way that you can be closer to your wife?
Human beings do things that ultimately results in some form of gain to themselves. But if this is impacting your social circle, then it's time to understand that you must STOP!
Maybe what started off as harmless, turned into something more serious in your female friends and they feel guilty.
You might feel open and quiet fine with these intimate chats, but for them it doesn't end well and they have begun to move away from you. So, seriously turn this off and if you feel that this will hurt your wife, why then?
Making sense?

All the best! Do the wise thing!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7602 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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I am 41 years old. How to create a financial plan to accumulate a wealth of 20 crore in 20 years. My annual salary is 60 lakhs. My current home loan emi is 1.2L for 20 years and car emi is 35K for 7 years.
Ans: To achieve your financial goal, a well-structured financial plan is essential. Below is a detailed, step-by-step guide tailored to your current financial situation and aspirations.

Assess Your Current Financial Position
Annual salary: Rs 60 lakh
Home loan EMI: Rs 1.2 lakh per month
Car loan EMI: Rs 35,000 per month
This implies an annual EMI outflow of Rs 18.6 lakh. You must allocate your remaining income judiciously.

Emergency Fund
Build a fund covering 12 months of expenses.
Include EMIs, household expenses, and lifestyle costs.
Park this amount in a mix of liquid and ultra-short-term funds for safety.
Insurance Coverage
Life Insurance: Ensure you have a term insurance policy for adequate coverage. Coverage should ideally be 10–15 times your annual income.
Health Insurance: Opt for a comprehensive health insurance plan for your family.
Review existing LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked policies. Surrender such policies and reinvest in mutual funds for better returns.

Investment Strategy for Wealth Creation
1. Asset Allocation
Allocate your investments based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.
A 70:30 equity-to-debt ratio can balance growth and stability.
2. Equity Investments
Prefer actively managed mutual funds for wealth creation.
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers aiming to outperform benchmarks.
Regular investments through an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure disciplined investing.
3. Debt Investments
Invest in debt funds for stable returns and liquidity.
Avoid direct debt investments as they lack professional management.
4. Avoid Index Funds and ETFs
Index funds mirror market performance without aiming for higher returns.
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds in India.
Professional management in actively managed funds ensures better risk management.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Calculate your monthly SIP contribution needed to accumulate Rs 20 crore in 20 years.
Invest consistently in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
SIPs offer rupee cost averaging and promote disciplined investing.
Managing Debt
Continue paying your home loan EMI as planned.
Avoid prepaying your home loan if the interest rate is reasonable.
For your car loan, avoid taking new loans after completion of the current one.
Tax-Efficient Planning
Equity Mutual Funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds: Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Focus on tax-efficient investments to maximize post-tax returns.
Periodic Review
Review your financial plan every six months.
Ensure your investments align with your goals and risk tolerance.
Rebalance your portfolio if needed to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Lifestyle and Expense Management
Avoid unnecessary lifestyle inflation.
Focus on increasing savings and investments.
Create a monthly budget to track expenses and prioritize savings.
Additional Tips
Invest in your skills and career growth to boost income.
Explore alternative income streams for supplementary savings.
Stay disciplined and avoid emotional decisions during market volatility.
Final Insights
Accumulating Rs 20 crore in 20 years requires disciplined savings, tax-efficient planning, and a growth-focused investment approach. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to create and execute a customized financial plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7602 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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Money
sir my monthly income is approx 50000 expense around 35000 can invest 10000 per month my age is 39 F can invest till 10 years for minimum dont have any specific goals just want to have a decent amount at the time of retirement no loan or liability as of now kindly advise with specific MF /Shares /LIC where to invest
Ans: At 39, you have no loans or liabilities.

Monthly income is Rs. 50,000, with Rs. 10,000 available for investment.

You aim to build a retirement corpus over 10 years.

Recommended Savings and Investments
Equity Mutual Funds
Allocate 60% of your Rs. 10,000 to equity mutual funds.

Equity mutual funds provide long-term growth and inflation-beating returns.

Invest through SIPs for disciplined and consistent investments.

Actively managed funds offer higher returns than index funds over the long term.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Allocate 20% of your investment to hybrid mutual funds.

These funds offer a mix of equity and debt for moderate growth.

They reduce the risk of market volatility.

Debt Mutual Funds
Allocate 10% to debt mutual funds for stability and short-term needs.

Debt funds are safer than equity and provide consistent returns.

Use these for medium-term goals or emergencies.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Invest 10% of your monthly amount in PPF.

PPF offers tax-free returns and secure long-term growth.

It is an excellent addition to equity and debt investments.

Importance of Regular Reviews
Review your portfolio every year to track performance.

Adjust investments based on market conditions and life changes.

Rebalance to maintain the right mix of equity and debt.

Build an Emergency Fund
Save 3-6 months of expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.

This protects you from financial stress during emergencies.

Health and Life Insurance
Ensure adequate health insurance for yourself.

Get a term life insurance policy if you have dependents.

Avoid Common Pitfalls
Do not invest in real estate for retirement planning.

Avoid index funds and ETFs due to their lack of active management.

Stay away from ULIPs or investment-cum-insurance products.

Tax Planning for Investments
Use tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, like PPF or ELSS.

Track the new tax rules for mutual fund capital gains.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised tax advice.

Finally
Start a SIP of Rs. 10,000 across equity, hybrid, and debt mutual funds.

Add PPF for tax-free and stable returns.

Review your plan yearly and increase SIPs as income grows.

Focus on disciplined savings and diversification for a secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7602 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hey Aditya.. I have a question pls I have 2 long term goals- child education fund (18yr from now)+ retirement fund (28 yrs from now) I already have SIPs in place for my retirement(set of good 5 funds) but for child's education should I pick another set of completely different funds or just increase SIP amounts in my retirement fund?
Ans: You have clearly defined two long-term goals: child education (18 years) and retirement (28 years). Both require disciplined planning and focused execution. Your question reflects your thoughtful approach to investing, and this is commendable.

Let’s assess whether using the same funds for both goals or selecting a new set of funds is the better strategy.

Advantages of Increasing SIP Amounts in Existing Retirement Funds
Established Performance: You have chosen five good funds for retirement. They likely have a strong track record and align with your goals.

Simplified Portfolio Management: Managing fewer funds reduces complexity and ensures easier tracking and review.

Cost Efficiency: Adding to the existing funds avoids transaction costs, exit loads, or other fees.

Consistency in Investment Strategy: It avoids the risk of over-diversification, which can dilute returns.

However, it is essential to ensure that your existing funds are diversified across asset classes, sectors, and geographies. This ensures they can cater to both goals.

When to Choose a Separate Set of Funds
Different Risk Profiles: Child education and retirement goals have different timelines. For child education (18 years), equity exposure can be high initially and reduced later. For retirement (28 years), you can stay invested in equity for longer. A separate strategy for each goal ensures alignment with these timelines.

Better Focus on Specific Goals: Having dedicated funds ensures that your child’s education and retirement planning are not mixed up. This avoids the temptation to dip into one goal's corpus to fulfill another.

Flexibility in Portfolio Allocation: Separate funds for education allow you to use balanced or hybrid funds in later years, ensuring stability as the goal nears. Retirement funds can remain equity-focused for longer.

Evaluating Your Current Situation
If your existing five funds are diversified and have a proven track record, you can consider increasing SIP amounts to fulfill both goals.

If the current funds are heavily equity-oriented, you may add a balanced or hybrid fund specifically for the child’s education. These funds provide stability as the education goal approaches.

Suggested Approach
Split Your Investment: Allocate a portion of your SIP to existing funds and use another portion to create a separate portfolio for your child’s education.

Asset Allocation for Education: For the first 12-15 years, focus on equity funds. Shift gradually to balanced funds or debt-oriented funds in the final 3-5 years.

Portfolio Review: Review both sets of investments every year. Ensure they align with the timelines and adjust the allocation as needed.

Key Recommendations
Diversification is critical. If all your current funds are in one category, explore other categories.

Avoid over-diversification by limiting your total funds to 6-8 across both goals.

Stick to investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Their guidance ensures better fund selection and monitoring.

Track your goals regularly. Make sure your education fund grows at a pace aligned with inflation in education costs.

Final Insights
Both approaches—using the same funds or separate ones—have merits. The choice depends on your current portfolio’s diversification and your preference for managing complexity.

Focus on disciplined investing and regular reviews. This ensures that both goals are achieved without compromising one for the other.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7602 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
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My age is 37 years but I have no savings my income is 1.10lakh per month and spending is 35000how much amount of money I need to save in a month and where I need to save to get retirement at age 55
Ans: You are 37 years old with a stable income of Rs. 1.10 lakh per month.

Monthly expenses are Rs. 35,000, leaving Rs. 75,000 as surplus.

There are no savings currently, which means you need to start from scratch.

Retirement at age 55 leaves 18 years for financial planning.

Set Your Retirement Goal
Decide your retirement corpus based on lifestyle needs.

Consider inflation and plan for 30+ years post-retirement.

Assume monthly expenses of Rs. 35,000 today. Adjust them for inflation.

A Certified Financial Planner can help calculate your retirement corpus.

Determine Savings Target
Start saving at least 50-60% of your surplus.

Target saving Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000 monthly consistently.

Increase savings as your income grows in the future.

Early and disciplined saving will ease the burden later.

Create a Diversified Investment Portfolio
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds offer long-term growth.

Invest 70% of savings here for higher returns.

Choose actively managed funds for wealth creation.

Invest regularly through monthly SIPs.

Debt Mutual Funds
Allocate 20% of savings to debt mutual funds.

These funds ensure stability and lower risk.

Use them for medium-term goals and rebalancing.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Invest 10% of savings in PPF for tax-free returns.

PPF is a secure, long-term investment option.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio yearly to track progress.

Rebalance investments to maintain equity and debt ratio.

Adjust for changing income, expenses, and market conditions.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Build an emergency fund with 6 months of expenses.

Keep this fund in liquid instruments like FDs or savings accounts.

Get adequate health and term insurance coverage.

Avoid Common Mistakes
Do not invest in real estate for retirement planning.

Avoid ULIPs or investment-cum-insurance policies.

Focus on investments aligned with your goals.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Use tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Stay updated on mutual fund capital gains taxation.

Use the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner for tax planning.

Final Insights
Start saving Rs. 50,000-60,000 monthly immediately.

Invest in equity, debt, and PPF for diversification.

Review and adjust your plan regularly for better results.

Stay disciplined and focus on long-term goals for retirement at 55.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7602 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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Money
I AM 46 YR OLD , I M PLANNING FOR EARLY RETIRMENT, I HAVE 62 LAC IN EQUITY, 27 LAC FD, 3 LAC TOTAL IN MONTHLY POST OFFICE , CASH IN HAND 2 LAC, 1 SHOP , 1 LAND 25 LAC, HOUSE SELF OWNED ,NO LOAN , HOW TO PLAN EARLY RETIREMENT, PLS ADVICE
Ans: Planning early retirement requires careful assessment and structured allocation. Your current assets form a strong foundation. Let us assess your portfolio and refine your strategy.

1. Evaluate Existing Assets

Equity Investments: Rs 62 lakh in equity is a positive start. Equity is ideal for growth over the long term.

Fixed Deposits: Rs 27 lakh in FDs ensures stability but offers low returns.

Post Office Schemes: Monthly income from post office schemes is a stable source of passive income.

Real Estate: Owning a shop and land worth Rs 25 lakh adds diversification to your portfolio.

Cash in Hand: Rs 2 lakh provides liquidity for immediate needs.

Self-Owned House: Owning a house reduces living expenses post-retirement.

2. Establish Financial Goals

Early Retirement Corpus: Estimate annual post-retirement expenses and multiply by expected retirement years.

Emergency Fund: Maintain 12-18 months of expenses in liquid assets.

Inflation Protection: Plan to cover rising costs over the years.

3. Optimise Equity Portfolio

Diversification: Spread investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Active Management: Focus on regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. Active funds outperform during market volatility.

Tax Efficiency: Plan withdrawals to optimise tax on long-term capital gains. LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

4. Fixed Deposits: Reassess Returns

Reallocate Part of FD: Move a portion into debt mutual funds. They offer better tax efficiency and higher returns.

Keep Liquidity: Retain funds for emergency and short-term needs.

5. Maximise Post Office Schemes

Continue Income Schemes: They provide assured monthly returns. This reduces dependency on other sources.

Reinvest Excess: Surplus post-office income can be allocated to equity or hybrid funds for growth.

6. Real Estate Management

Shop Rental Income: If not already rented, consider leasing the shop. This generates steady cash flow.

Land Utilisation: Evaluate selling or developing the land. Reinvest proceeds into growth-oriented investments.

7. Comprehensive Insurance

Health Insurance: Ensure coverage of Rs 25-50 lakh for you and your family. Upgrade if necessary.

Term Insurance: If dependents rely on you, maintain a term insurance policy.

8. Expense Management

Track Current Expenses: This helps estimate post-retirement needs accurately.

Cut Unnecessary Costs: Redirect savings into investments.

9. Passive Income Strategies

Hybrid Funds: Allocate part of your corpus to balanced advantage funds. These provide regular payouts and growth.

SWP in Mutual Funds: Systematic withdrawal plans ensure consistent income without depleting capital.

Dividend Income: Consider dividend-yielding equity funds. This offers periodic cash flow.

10. Tax Planning

Tax Efficiency: Utilise exemptions and deductions to minimise tax liabilities.

Reinvest LTCG: Gains reinvested in specified instruments avoid tax.

11. Retirement Corpus Assessment

Assess if the current portfolio aligns with your early retirement goals. Adjust investments for longevity and growth.

12. Long-Term Wealth Protection

Estate Planning: Prepare a will for seamless asset transfer.

Trusts: Consider creating a trust for dependents, if applicable.

13. Regular Reviews

Monitor Portfolio: Revisit allocations annually.

Adjust Investments: Rebalance to maintain desired asset allocation.

Final Insights

Your current assets provide a solid base for early retirement. Strategic allocation will ensure sustainability. Diversify, optimise returns, and secure passive income. Regular reviews are crucial for aligning investments with goals. With discipline, early retirement is achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.inhttps://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |502 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm Anjali 28. suggest me some ways through which i make my new married life stays forever with loyalty, love, trust, happiness. Me and my partner both of us have our pasts but i don't want to get affected by mine and his.
Ans: Hi Anjali, navigating a new marriage with the goal of building a lasting, loving, and trustworthy relationship is a beautiful aspiration. It's natural to have concerns about past experiences, but it's important to remember that your relationship is a fresh chapter that you and your partner are writing together.

To foster loyalty, love, trust, and happiness, start by focusing on open and honest communication. Share your thoughts and feelings with each other, even when they're difficult. This helps build a foundation of trust and understanding. It's also crucial to practice empathy, recognizing that both of you bring unique experiences to the relationship.

Make a conscious effort to leave the past in the past. Instead of dwelling on previous relationships or mistakes, focus on the present and the future you're building together. This doesn't mean ignoring past lessons but rather using them to strengthen your current bond.

Prioritize spending quality time together, nurturing your emotional connection. Be intentional about supporting each other’s growth, both individually and as a couple. Celebrate each other's achievements and offer comfort during challenges.

Lastly, don't hesitate to seek help or advice if you ever face difficulties. Whether through counseling or trusted friends, getting an outside perspective can help maintain a healthy and happy marriage. By working together with commitment and understanding, you can create a fulfilling and enduring partnership.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1148 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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Career
So my name is Krishna In year 2024 I passed my 12th with pcm and 87 percent in boards and cleared jee with 89 percentile ( without coaching,) As because of OBC I get admission in DTU But I denied to take admission in lower branch And I have a dream to become CGL inspector so I join coaching for CGL Instead of taking drop for jee but now sometimes I feel regret don't know why As I thought ki mujhe BTech kar leni chaiye thi Ya fir ab mujhe apni preparation chud kar khi private college ke BTech kar lu As Mujhe dar lagta rhta khi mai life me unsuccessful na rha jao As age bhi tho bhot badi chiz h now I am 18 and in june I turn 19 And bus yahi h pls mai bhot jyada overthinking karta hu pls tell ki maine CGL ke liye decision shi liya ya nhi
Ans: Hello Krish.
You are just 18 years old. There is no need to do everything at this stage. You already cleared the 12th Board and appeared for JEE once but scored in the lower percentile. Yet you got admission to DTU. But with a predetermined mind, you think the branch allotted to you is lower. Let me be clear, none of the branches is higher and lower. Every branch has equal opportunities. If you were unsatisfied with the allotted branch, why not opt for your favorite branch from another private college?
Suggestion: First you get admission to any good private college to B.Tech. and complete the engineering with your preferred branch. At least you will have a solid degree in your hand. While studying engineering, you can prepare for CGL, which would be a better option. Even if you fail to crack CGL, you will have B.Tech. degree in your hand. Do engineering and CGL preparation simultaneously. Many students follow this path and have success also.
Best of luck for the upcoming bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |502 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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