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Married Man Seeking Advice: How To Deal With High Testosterone Levels?

Anu Krishna |1762 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I have a very happy family and one daughter pursuing graduation and son at standard 8. Although I don't have any big issue at my home but my testosterone levels are pretty high. Therefore I am attracted towards ladies and unless ladies offer themselves I never ever have asked anyone for any favour. Since my marriage I have extra marital relation with three different persons. All the time I have shared my things with my wife. She hardly accepts and after lot of persuasion she gets calm. Since my wife has menopause at the age of 40 and she does not display a very happy mood I am always attracted towards outsiders. Even I wanted her to allow me with one of her schoolmate who also have shared her with me. But my wife became furious and has now threatened to legal course of action. What to do? Although I know my desires are already on a negative platform, even then how to control biological requirement?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You say that you don't have any big issues at home, but your wife has threatened you with legal action is not a big issue?
The reasons for it seem very clear that you continue to look for relationships outside of your marriage because your wife is not interested in sex and then you expect her to accept your lifestyle...
She does not accept it and hence has gone the legal way; should that not tell you how right from the beginning of marriage you have been the cause for it to fail?
Rather than just blaming your high testosterone levels which could have been managed, you chose the easy way out by sleeping with multiple women and you think your wife must be okay with it?
So, kindly reevaluate how much you value your wife and your marriage. If this still matters, then I am sure you will make an effort to put things back together between the two of you...As for your high testosterone levels, there are ways in which you can manage (you know for sure how) them without getting into relationships with so many women that come and complicate things for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1762 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Question by omveer - Apr 12, 2023Hindi

Relationship

hi Anu ji, good Afternoon!!! I am 45 and well settled.my wife loves me lot.I also love her.we have 3 childrens.we all are living a very happy life. I have a big concern that i always attract by other females.I was extra marital affair also.but now it closed.i have tried many times that it not happened.But failed to control. In morning i do morning walk,GYM and meditation .Its my daily routine to walk up at 5.30am and give self 1.30hrs.daily. All things are in control perhaps this. Please suggest what to do.

Ans: Dear Omveer,
Now only you can tell yourself the reason for looking for attention outside of marriage.
is it to drive away the stale air from the marriage or just validation from another woman to boost your self-esteem?
Whatever that is won't last long and you will get caught in a loop of never-ending chat windows living in a imaginary world of someone else making you feel better about yourself.
Instead you might want to try spicing things up within your marriage. Date nights, vacations together, cooking together, gym or meditation together...anything that helps the two of you to connect better can help you refocus on your marriage with a new pair of eyes.
Your choice creates your life...choose well...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1762 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Dear Sir/Madam, I've been into homosex since childhood (not sure at what age) and didn't realize I prefer Men. Later I got married and got into a terrible situation (I hope you understand the issue). Fortunately, I have one 3-year-old kid but I'm not giving justice to my wife being a husband. This has put me into depression, as neither I cannot come out as gay to my family nor I can keep my wife happy. Till today I keep meeting guys secretly even after I know that it is not fair because I can't control my feelings but at the same time my poor wife is not getting what she deserves. I'm not able to find the solution for this issue.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are perhaps the same person who has asked this question before. I have answered it in the link below. Copy paste this link in your browser to view the answer: https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/into-homosex-childhood-sure-what-age-got-married-realized-m/5143670

All the best!

Love Guru | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 25, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi Mam, I'm 54,, my wife is 50. We have a son. I've not had a physical relationship with wife for the last 3 years. I get aroused by other women but not a bit by my wife. What to do?

Ans: You’ve lost interest in your wife sexually. To spice things up, maybe you could gently suggest to her what turns you on, and give her a chance to satisfy you. Tell her that you feel like your sex life is down in the dumps (not that you find her unattractive!) and you’d like to re-engage. Maybe she misses the intimacy too, but hasn’t mentioned it to you. Open dialogue is the first step, but be both sensitive and kind.

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Samraat Jadhav |2542 Answers |Ask -Follow

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2026Hindi

Money

i invested 18L own money and 6 Lakhs from MTF borrowing in Oct'22 to Oct'23 periods, now 24 Lakhs become 14 Lakhs, 10 Lakhs down, Alklyamine 98 @ 3300, relaxo 135@1083, PVRINOX 87@1865, tatainvest 250@1120,vstindustries 484@429,suntv 160@836,concor 250@860,clean 19@2060,bajajauto 14@11935,AWL 357@432,ATGL 20@1030,ADANIGREEN 20@1975,ADANIENT39@3390,ADANENSOL50@1324,ACC52@2600,COCHINSHIP10@2650,DATAPATTERN 10@3186,GRSE19@2975,MAZDOCK10 @3500,HONDAPOWER 10@4000,TATAELXSI17@7320,VBL30@660,BHARATFORG20@1740. GUILTY TO OVERRIDE WIFE SUGGESTION TO BUY JEWELS FOR DAUGHTER'S 3 YEARS AGO WHEN PF AMOUNT WITHDRAWN 13L, NOW THIS ALSO LOSS AND JEWEL ALSO 2.5 TIMES HIGHER THAN THAT TIME. WRONG DECISION. PLS CORRECT & SUGGEST. AGE 51

Ans: I would suggest you approach a SEBI Registered Investment Adviser nearby you and discuss the full story with your financial details and he/she would be the right person to guide you after analyzing all your requirements. You can find your nearest adviser from this link of SEBI - https://www.sebi.gov.in/sebiweb/other/OtherAction.do?doRecognisedFpi=yes&intmId=13

Samraat Jadhav |2542 Answers |Ask -Follow

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2026Hindi

Money

I applied for an IPO on the War-Burg platform for Avana Electrosystems and got an allocation far above my funds available . Now the system will not allow me to close my position . What should I do ?

Ans: this is a scam

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2026Hindi

Money

SIP of 2000 long term 10+ years. What type of schemes would you suggest (e.g. large, flexi etc.) and how.much allocation to each type would be best. I am in my 40s and this is my first exposure to MFs.

Ans: Hi,

As this is your 1st time exposure, better to connect with a professional.

Connect with a a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2026Hindi

Money

Hello sir/maam, I have a health insure for myself of hdfc ergo of 10lakh cover. Now i am married this year thus should i take another insurance for my wife or include her within mine. We both are working and i want to be secure such that in case claim we do kot face any issue incase in future we have any health emergency.

Ans: Hi,

You can include her name in your policy and increase the sum insured to 20 lakhs. Your overall premium will increase but it is required considering higher medical costs these days.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2026Hindi

Money

At51 years, can I start ppf account?

Ans: Hi,

Yes you can but not recommended. Instead increase contribution to your PF under VPF.
PPf comes with minimum 15 years lock-in, you will not have access to PPF funds till age of 65. Better to go for an alternative.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Question by Surander - Jan 17, 2026Hindi

Money

Hi Sir, If performance of the some MF is not as per the market how to swich another performing MF. Question is shall i start SWP on Poor Performing F or Exit in one go .

Ans: Hi Surandar,

Investing like this will never work in your favor and instead give you losses along with tax liabilities.
If you do not know about Mutual funds, connect with a professional to start.
Expecting your funds to double overnight is not done here. Mutual funds are for long term and need a lot of patience.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Question by Ram - Nov 18, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi, I worked in STL from year 1997 to 2005 . As at time the concept of UAN was not there I couldn't find any trace of my PF and Pension contribution in EPFO portal.Also that company is closed long back I am not able to create New UAN . After 2005,I worked in number of companies and retired in 2024.My last company from where I retired is an exempted company where I transferred my all PF after 2005. I visited in local epfo office in Kolkata regarding my pf/eps withdrawal/transfer to my latest company from where I retired last year, local pf office of Kolkata not able to see my pf balance of my First company STL,due to pf not connected to UAN, what should be done right now STL had deposited PF amount in Bandra Mumbai office.

Ans: Hi Ram,

Here is what you can do:
1. Locate your old salary slips from STL and try to find the PF number.
2. As the company doesn't exist now, your old PF must have become 'inoperative'
3. Visit Bandra, Mumbai EPFO Office yourself along with your details and request them to trace your old account (should know your PF number from salary slips beforehand).
4. Or connect with EPFO online under 'Inoperative helpdesk' to know what can be done by you.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Question by Rimpa - Jan 04, 2026Hindi

Money

I want to invest in Mutual fund my monthly SIP is 1700 please make me a PORTFOLIO where i can get high return i want to invest for long time + i want to invest in Gold fund but not from the 1700 sip it will be my another individual SIP.

Ans: Hi Rimpa,

Start your SIP of 1700 under Kotak Multicap fund for long term.
If you wish to start gold investment, buy gold ETFs online or choose a gold mutual fund.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Question by Chidambaram - Jan 02, 2026Hindi

Money

Dear Sir, I'm 53 yrs old now, i would like to know, in SBI Life Policies, at present, what are the best beneficial wealth policies as well as with Sudden Death Protection, which suits my age and income source salary is 10L /Annum.. thanks, from Chennai (02nd Jan 2026)

Ans: Hi Chidambaram,

Please connect with SBI Bank professionals to get such wealth policy. I am a CFP and suggest only mutual funds investment along with comprehensive financial planning.
I do not recommend any such policies to anyone.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |500 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2026Hindi

Money

I am 42, I have two daughters 17 and 13. Me and my wife earn 5L per month currently. We do not know when we will stop being as productive as this We currently have the following portfolio 1. 1.2cr PF 2. 17L PPF 3. 40L MF 4. Real estate (3 flats in city and 5 acres in hometown) 4cr 5. Liquid 1 cr Upcoming life events 1. Kids college 2. Kids marriage After these between me and wife we need atleast 1L per month to live. I want to continue to work for 10 more years and my wife will work for 5 more. Can I retire early?

Ans: Hi,

You two are earning well and have accumulated a lot at such young age. Let us analyse in detail:
- Liquid - 1 crore >> this can take care of the immediate requirement for your kid's higher education.
- Your current investments in PF, PPF and MF - can be considered a portion for your retired life.
- Land and Flats worth 4 crores - can liquidate worth half value to keep it aside for your kids marriage.
- Save aggressively in equity and balanced mutual funds till the time you guys are working. Investing as small as 2 lakhs per month for next 10 years can grow your MF corpus from 40 lakhs to 6 crores.
This along with your PF is more than sufficient for the two of you to retire at your respective paces.

Make sure that the current MF investment along with planned SIP of 2 lakhs monthly is done under professional supervision. Any wrong investment can lower returns and create a negative impact.

Summary - You are on the right path. Start investing aggressively for next 10 years and consider liquidating 50% of your real estate assets to fulfil kids education and marriage.

And also consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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