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Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
S Question by S on Dec 27, 2022Translate

Hi Anu,
I'm here to let my feelings out. I'm 23 years old, working in IT. I have never been a person orientated towards studies not just now but even as a kid.
I never knew that this would take a toll on my life like this. I'm. Not happy with my job. I'm not passionate about it.
Clearly I'm not performing well. Neither am I trying to. It's been a long time since I felt like I have things in control. Right now I can't control myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my brain process.
After the lockdown began I have totally lost everything that I was left with. It's been a very long time since I have been happy about what's happening in life. I don't know what to do. I was depressed for 3 years due to break up. I think meeting that person made my life upside down. It was a very bad influence on me.
He was a narcissist. Which is what has made like this today I guess.
I have nothing in control, I don't know if I'll be able to make things right in my life, if I'll ever be better again. There's too much confusion, fear, pain and sadness inside of me. I'm stuck in the same place for years now. I have no confidence to do anything. I don't believe in myself, I cannot talk to myself in a good way.
If something wrong happens to me today, I accept it. I do not have the strength to fight against or for anything. I feel hollow.
I feel like there is absolutely nothing inside of me left. I feel like there nothing I can do to make my life better.
The solution to make this right for my family is to k*** myself. Because I don't see hope. Even though I have dreams, I don't believe in myself that I will be able to fulfil them. Because I don't have the spark of life in me. Everything inside me dead. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if you'll be able to help me. But I'm not able to deal with myself. The pity I have on myself. The disgust I have on myself.


Dear S,

It’s like being unsettled has become a way of life. And you haven’t become aware that what you are living with in terms of uncertainty is mostly self-created.

You are seeing it with academics, work, relationships. It’s a pattern which must be broken provided you wish to see a massive change in your life.

Ask yourself:

1. What do I seek from life?
2. Where do I see myself in the professional space?
3. What do I wish for in a relationship/partner?

Now, check if your thoughts and behaviours align with what you wish for.

For eg: If you are looking at losing weight, if your behaviour is no exercise and reaching out for a midnight snack, you will never get to what you wish for.

So, if you want to feel more certain and have a certain level of wellbeing and grip in your life, you need to come up with some sort of fool proof plan and stick with it.

If you haven’t been very fine with academics, surely you can still put your best foot forward in your workplace taking more initiatives and thinking about how to grow there.

With relationships, start asking yourself, how can I add value to my partner?

It’s time you took responsibility for your choices and its results. So, if you want massive changes in the results, change the way you think and do things.

Am I getting through to you here?

Nothing is dead; you just have to inspire yourself to think and do different.

So, self-pity isn’t going to get you anywhere.

If he was a narcissist, good things didn’t work out…time to move on rather than make more excuses for your life not going anywhere.

Do you know now what you must do? Just Step Up!

Best wishes!

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Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

Hi Anu, I recently came across your self-help series on rediff com and couldn't resist myself from writing to you. I am a 25 year old woman living with her parents and a younger brother. I somehow managed the lockdown in 2020 but since last year, my life has been way more challenging.Things have been really tough since April last year. My mother started her dialysis. Before that, she got hospitalised twice within a month. However she is back home. But due to her dialysis session, her legs ache making her difficult to walk. Her hands have stopped moving due to hypertension so I am taking care of her.My father retired last year. So he's stressed about many things. He is over inspecting my every little action and criticising me for no apparent reason. I haven't got a suitable job despite working in an educational consultancy (They haven't even given my first salary). My boyfriend is encouraging me to work hard for my upcoming competitive exam and earn everything I want. But I don't feel like doing anything. I feel like I have lost the zeal. And nowadays he has hardly any time for me.My ex-boyfriend hasn't returned Rs 20,000 he borrowed from me. When I confronted him, he avoided me and told me to back off. Sometimes I feel like taking a loan.Lastly, I have incomplete submissions of diploma course which I couldn't submit on time and I am requesting for extra time but I didn't get any help.Though I feel that things will get better but most of the time, I feel like quitting. Today my father scolded me again, so I went to terrace. I screamed and cried and decided to end my life. I have become so alone. I am wondering when my life will be on track. I am not a bad person. I know I have flaws. But why has life become so tough? I am only getting rejections and failures. I don't know what to do. How do I tackle with all of these? Please help me. I am totally exhausted.

Dear AB,

Breathe! And breathe again and once more…

Life is filled with all things great and challenging as well. Challenges come to us as a growth path; one that we must walk on to unleash more of our inner power.

Challenges within the family, education related challenges, personal challenges and more are part of anyone’s life.

How we deal with each defines our journey and shapes our mindset as well.

Have you felt like playing the victim in each challenge and hence feel low and dejected and that prevents you from finishing what you have taken up?

I might be wrong here, but what seems to be happening is every activity is left mid-way due to lack of confidence from within. And then the loop continues and you have termed it as a rejection and failure. We receive what we put out there; so why don’t you try something different?

Why don’t you pick something (one at a time) and see it through till the end; it will give you a great sense of achievement and to do this; simply visualize the path from the start to the end and then jumping for joy at your victory.

Request your boyfriend to play the role of an accountability partner, so that he keeps your ups and downs in check.

Commit to him as to what and when you will finish; and to motivate yourself, keep visualizing your victory and success point and the happiness that you will feel from within.

As for your parents scolding you, they only look at your welfare.

Sit them down and tell them that you need their support and that you are embarking on a new journey.

I am sure that they will be rooting for you. Life is beautiful, make it count and you know you can!

Best wishes!


Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2022

 Hi Anu, I am a 38 YO woman. Personal issues - None. A loving and doting husband and a 4 yo lovely daughter comprises my immediate family. Relations with parents and in-laws are also smooth.Professional issues - Too many. I never imagined myself to be where I currently am. I have never had a stable career nor a very good salary. I have had a good education but have not been able to make a professional mark for myself. I was ambitious and confident but now feel that everything is too overwhelming for me to achieve. I had dreams but probably never the conviction. For a long time I kept blaming the family for ruining my career but somewhere deep within I know that I responsible for whatever has happened in my life. Today when I decide to do only what I wish to do or pursue, I find myself at a loss on account of lack of confidence to achieve it. Others around me seem to be more confident of my abilities and intelligence than me. I also feel that it is too late now and instead of myself, I should focus on making my daughter's life but somewhere I am still unsettled. I want to have a good, stable and a well earning career, even if it is for the next 10 or 15 years of my life. I have no personal complaints but professionally, I do not want to die without having the satisfaction of having lived a good professional life as well. It matters a lot to me, not for anyone's sake but my own.I am working right now but that is not my future. I have been able to manage jobs at different points of time in different industries but never a career. I haven't lost hope but I simply know that my life isn't right.

Dear SS,

Firstly, ask yourself:

1. What will a job/career bring to me?

2. What is it that I feel a lack of when I am devoted into my personal life?

3. Am I trying to search for an identity through a career?

These questions will give you a clear picture of what is going on in your mind.

Most often, we crave something and declare the path but don’t realize that we are actually embarking on the wrong journey; it’s also possible what we are searching for already exists with us, but we are not able to see it or feel it.

For example: If you are searching for your identity that already is with you and you have told yourself that only a job/career could give that to you, it may so happen that every job that you are in will stress you to create an identity which you already have. You are on the cusp of changes as your children are growing…

Sit down with a pen and paper and clearly outline what you want to create in your life and WHY!

When this is clear, you will be able to take the first confident step and you will do it for yourself and not prove anything to anyone. It becomes only about your space and how you can make it beautiful.

2022 brings in a lot of hope for everyone and you as well. Chin up and plunge into a confident self and get ahead. All the best!

Latest Questions

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Dear sir,I am compulsory retired from psu, as a senior Manager still I am having 5 years For matured retirement. Is there any jobs available for me?
Ans: As a senior manager with significant experience and five years until mature retirement, you have valuable skills and expertise that can be applied to various job opportunities. Here are some potential avenues to explore:

Industry Consultancy: Consider offering consultancy services in your industry. Your extensive experience can be valuable to companies seeking expertise in areas such as operations management, strategic planning, or process optimization.

Freelancing or Contract Work: Explore opportunities for freelancing or contract work in your field. Many companies, especially startups or smaller businesses, may require temporary support for specific projects or initiatives.

Part-Time or Remote Work: Look for part-time or remote work opportunities that allow for flexibility and work-life balance. Many organizations offer remote positions for experienced professionals, including roles in project management, consulting, or advisory services.

Government or NGO Roles: Investigate opportunities in government agencies or non-governmental organizations (NGOs) where your experience and expertise can be beneficial. These organizations often have positions available in areas such as policy development, program management, or capacity building.

Teaching or Training: Consider sharing your knowledge and expertise by pursuing opportunities in teaching or training roles. Universities, colleges, training institutes, and corporate training departments may seek experienced professionals to teach courses or conduct workshops in your field.

Professional Associations and Networks: Join professional associations and networks related to your industry. These platforms can provide access to job opportunities, networking events, and professional development resources.

Entrepreneurship: Explore the possibility of starting your own business or venture based on your expertise and interests. Entrepreneurship allows you to leverage your experience to create innovative solutions or services within your industry.

Career Counseling and Coaching: With your extensive experience, you could consider a career in counseling or coaching, helping individuals navigate their career paths, develop skills, and achieve their professional goals.

Online Platforms: Utilize online job platforms, networking sites like LinkedIn, and specialized recruitment agencies to explore job opportunities tailored to your skills and experience.

Upskilling and Continuous Learning: Stay updated with industry trends, technologies, and best practices through continuous learning and upskilling. Investing in certifications, attending workshops, or pursuing advanced education can enhance your marketability and open doors to new opportunities.

Remember to tailor your job search approach to your interests, strengths, and career goals. Networking, maintaining a strong online presence, and staying proactive in your job search efforts can significantly increase your chances of finding fulfilling opportunities in your mature retirement phase.

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

i served education institute as approved Asso Professor. superannuated before 2 years but no gratuity is paid.what next?
Ans: If you have superannuated from an educational institute and have not received your gratuity even after two years, you should take the following steps:

Check Employment Contract or Policy:

Review your employment contract or the institute's policy to understand the terms and conditions regarding gratuity. It should outline the eligibility criteria and the process for payment.
Contact HR or Administration:

Reach out to the Human Resources (HR) department or administration of the educational institute. Inquire about the status of your gratuity and seek clarification on any delays.
Written Communication:

If verbal communication does not yield results, send a written communication (email or letter) to the HR department, clearly stating the issue, mentioning your superannuation date, and seeking information on the status of your gratuity.
Gather Documentation:

Ensure you have all the necessary documentation related to your employment, superannuation, and gratuity. This may include appointment letters, salary slips, and any other relevant records.
Legal Consultation:

If your attempts to resolve the issue internally are unsuccessful, consider seeking legal advice. Consult with a lawyer who specializes in labor or employment law to understand your rights and options.
Labor Department Complaint:

In some jurisdictions, labor departments or government authorities handle labor-related disputes. You may file a complaint with the appropriate labor department or ombudsman, providing details of the non-payment of gratuity.
Employee Welfare Associations:

If applicable, involve any employee welfare or union representatives who may assist in addressing the issue.
Mediation or Conciliation:

Some jurisdictions have mediation or conciliation services to resolve employment-related disputes. Explore these options as an alternative to legal action.
Legal Action:

If all else fails, you may need to consider legal action to claim your gratuity. Your lawyer can guide you on the appropriate legal steps to take in your jurisdiction.
It's crucial to act promptly and keep records of all communication related to the non-payment of gratuity. The specific steps and options available to you may vary depending on the labor laws in your country or region. Consulting with a legal professional familiar with local employment laws is advisable to ensure you take the most appropriate course of action.

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Translate
Presently I work as Asst VP in formulation R&D and my CTC is 72 lakhs. I have a total of 21 years experience post Ph.D degree. How does my salary compare to pharma industry standards? Is it in line with the industry trend or higher than average or lower?
Ans: Determining whether your salary is in line with industry standards can be influenced by various factors, including your role, responsibilities, the company's size, location, and overall market conditions. However, your current salary of 72 lakhs as an Assistant Vice President in Formulation R&D with 21 years of experience post-Ph.D. seems competitive and well above average for the pharmaceutical industry.

To get a more accurate benchmark, you might consider:

Industry Reports: Explore industry reports and salary surveys specific to the pharmaceutical sector. Organizations like Aon, Mercer, or local industry associations may publish such reports.

Networking: Connect with professionals in similar roles through industry events, LinkedIn, or professional organizations. Discussing compensation trends can provide valuable insights.

Consulting with HR: Speak with your company's HR department to understand how your compensation aligns with the company's salary structure and industry standards.

Job Portals: Check job portals for similar positions in your region to see the salary ranges offered by other companies for comparable roles.

Geographical Considerations: Keep in mind that salaries can vary significantly based on geographical locations. A salary that is competitive in one region may be considered high or low in another.

Market Demand: Assess the demand for professionals in your role. If there is a high demand for individuals with your skill set and experience, it could contribute to a higher salary.

Ultimately, while salary is an important factor, it's also crucial to consider other aspects of your compensation package, such as benefits, bonuses, and opportunities for career growth. If you feel satisfied with your overall package, including non-monetary benefits, and your compensation aligns with your responsibilities and the industry standards, then it's likely that your salary is competitive. If you have specific concerns, discussing them with your HR department or seeking advice from industry professionals can provide more tailored insights.

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

I am 84 but due to acute financial problems fcg even groceey problems looking for English to Hindi Translation job
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your challenges. Finding an English to Hindi translation job can be challenging, but there are a few platforms where you can explore opportunities:

Freelance Platforms:

Websites like Upwork, Freelancer, and Fiverr often have translation projects. You can create a profile and bid on relevant jobs.
Translation Agencies:

Contact translation agencies and offer your services. Many agencies look for experienced translators for various language pairs.
Online Job Portals:

Keep an eye on job portals like Indeed or Naukri, where companies occasionally post translation-related job opportunities.
Language Learning Platforms:

Some language learning apps and websites may also require translation services. Check platforms like Duolingo, Babbel, or Rosetta Stone.
Community Centers:

Local community centers or language learning institutions might have occasional translation needs.
Online Volunteer Platforms:

Consider volunteering your translation services on platforms like Translators without Borders or UN Volunteers.

Leverage your network. Inform friends, family, or acquaintances about your skills and let them know you are looking for translation opportunities.
Local Businesses:

Visit local businesses, especially those serving diverse communities, and inquire if they need translation services.
Government Programs:

Some government programs or NGOs may require translation services. Check with local offices or online platforms for opportunities.
Remember, persistence is key. It may take time to find opportunities, but by actively seeking and applying for jobs, you increase your chances of securing a position. Additionally, if you face financial difficulties, you may also want to explore local support services or community programs that could provide assistance. I hope you find a suitable opportunity soon.

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Translate
What are best way to upskill as a student?
Ans: Upskilling as a student is a valuable investment in your future. Here are some effective ways to upskill:

Online Courses and Certifications:

Platforms like Coursera, edX, Udacity, and Khan Academy offer a wide range of courses on various subjects.
Consider certifications in areas relevant to your field of study or future career.
MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses):

Explore MOOCs from universities and institutions around the world.
They often provide high-quality content for free or at a minimal cost.
Specialized Training Platforms:

Platforms like LinkedIn Learning, Skillshare, and Pluralsight offer courses on specific skills and tools.
These platforms often have tutorials on software, programming languages, design tools, etc.
Internships and Co-op Programs:

Gain practical experience through internships or co-op programs related to your field of study.
Real-world experience can complement theoretical knowledge and enhance your skills.
Networking and Mentorship:

Connect with professionals in your industry through networking events, LinkedIn, or local meetups.
A mentor can provide guidance and share insights into the industry.
Project-Based Learning:

Work on real-world projects to apply your skills.
This hands-on experience can help you build a portfolio that showcases your abilities.
Join Student Organizations:

Participate in relevant clubs or organizations on your campus.
They often provide opportunities for skill development and networking.
Read Industry Publications and Blogs:

Stay updated on industry trends and innovations by reading blogs, journals, and articles.
Subscribe to newsletters or follow influencers in your field.
Soft Skills Development:

Focus on developing soft skills like communication, teamwork, time management, and adaptability.
These skills are crucial for professional success.
Attend Workshops and Conferences:

Attend workshops and conferences to learn from experts and connect with professionals.
These events can provide insights into the latest developments in your field.
Language Learning:

Learn additional languages, especially if they are relevant to your field or if you plan to work internationally.
Self-Assessment and Reflection:

Regularly assess your skills and identify areas for improvement.
Set goals for continuous learning and monitor your progress.
Remember, upskilling is a continuous process, and staying curious and adaptable will serve you well throughout your career. Tailor your upskilling efforts to align with your career goals and the demands of your chosen industry.

Shreya Shah  |26 Answers  |Ask -

Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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