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Anu Krishna |1769 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by RM on Oct 04, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, I am 23 years old and during my school time I have a boyfriend with 8 years of relationship. Our relation was going well until we moved towards sexual affection. I was always in denial of not feeling sexually attracted towards my guy. I did not have the mindset to have sex or the pleasure of having sex. Whenever he’d asked me about my sexual feelings I didn't like the conversation and simply tried to ignore it. Later it ended up in arguments. I tried to find out what’s wrong and I found myself with signs of asexuality. If I tell this to my partner he may exaggerate by saying that I am lying. I’ve always wanted to end the relations. But he will threatened that if I am not with him he will end his life. I am stuck in a situation where I don’t know how to make him understand or tell him that I am asexual and I can't make commitment. I want him to know that I can have sex with you or have sexual feelings with you in future.

Ans:

Dear RM,

How do you know that you are asexual? Did you talk to any expert who was able to guide you to this revelation or is it internet-based diagnosis?

I know of many clients that I have worked with come up with fancy diagnosis based on some Q n A or multiple-choice tests available on the internet.

So, if it’s the internet, then time for you to step back and ask yourself:

What about sex is something that I don't like?
What was I taught about sex in my childhood?
Did I find that the women at home were submissive even in the day-to-day functioning?
Did the men at home use authority to get their work done?

It might be useful for the two of you to go into therapy not just for your current relationship but also to be able to release yourself from any unresolved emotions from childhood if any.

Value yourself for who you are!

All the best!

RelationshipReply

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Kanchan Rai |656 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his fatter. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.

Ans: I understand how deeply troubling your situation is. Feeling a lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection in your marriage can be incredibly painful. It's important to address these feelings and consider the best path forward for both your well-being and that of your son.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings. Explain how his lack of intimacy affects you and your mental health. Sometimes, a neutral environment or the presence of a counselor can facilitate this conversation. Couples therapy might help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work toward a solution.

If your husband is unwilling to engage in this dialogue or make any changes, you need to think about your own happiness and mental health. Living in a state of constant misery and depression isn't sustainable, and it's essential to model a healthy, fulfilling life for your son. While your son is attached to his father, children also sense when their parents are unhappy. Ensuring your well-being will, in turn, benefit your son.

If you decide that divorce is the best option, it will undoubtedly be challenging, especially without family support. However, many people find that once they take this step, they can rebuild their lives in a more fulfilling way. Your son’s attachment to his father is important, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship can help mitigate the impact on him. Children can adapt well to changes when they see their parents are happier and healthier.

Consider reconnecting with your professional life, as having a career can provide you with financial independence and a sense of personal fulfillment. It can also serve as a distraction and a way to build new social connections, reducing the sense of isolation.

Ultimately, your happiness and mental health are crucial. It's important to take steps toward a life where you feel valued, loved, and content. Consulting with a therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate these tough decisions. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your options, and build a plan that prioritizes your well-being and your son's best interests.

Kanchan Rai |656 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his father. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.

Ans: I understand how deeply troubling your situation is. Feeling a lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection in your marriage can be incredibly painful. It's important to address these feelings and consider the best path forward for both your well-being and that of your son.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings. Explain how his lack of intimacy affects you and your mental health. Sometimes, a neutral environment or the presence of a counselor can facilitate this conversation. Couples therapy might help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work toward a solution.

If your husband is unwilling to engage in this dialogue or make any changes, you need to think about your own happiness and mental health. Living in a state of constant misery and depression isn't sustainable, and it's essential to model a healthy, fulfilling life for your son. While your son is attached to his father, children also sense when their parents are unhappy. Ensuring your well-being will, in turn, benefit your son.

If you decide that divorce is the best option, it will undoubtedly be challenging, especially without family support. However, many people find that once they take this step, they can rebuild their lives in a more fulfilling way. Your son’s attachment to his father is important, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship can help mitigate the impact on him. Children can adapt well to changes when they see their parents are happier and healthier.

Consider reconnecting with your professional life, as having a career can provide you with financial independence and a sense of personal fulfillment. It can also serve as a distraction and a way to build new social connections, reducing the sense of isolation.

Ultimately, your happiness and mental health are crucial. It's important to take steps toward a life where you feel valued, loved, and content. Consulting with a therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate these tough decisions. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your options, and build a plan that prioritizes your well-being and your son's best interests.

Ravi Mittal |708 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I have been in relationship with my boyfriend for the past 11 months..and its gonna be a year in this April.I love him so much that I am in a point that I can't let him leave me nor I can leave him.He gives me the support and love I always wished for.There is nothing more than him that I want in my life.But the issue is with my past. When he proposed me itself, I told the harsh truth about my past relationship,that I am not virgin like him and I got pregnant with my ex .And since he is virgin he can't accept the fact that I lost my virginity.In the beginning of the relationship he has told me if he is virgin, he wants his girl also to be virgin.If he was not a virgin then this won't be a problem for him. He can't understand nor he can't accept that I lost my virginity and got pregnant.There is a twist to this story also.In the beginning I told him that I have got pregnant in my past, but after that I told him I am not sure because my test results I saw was negative. I am not sure whether I got pregnant or not, my doctor is telling me its all my hallucinations.I have been dealing with anxiety since 7 years and I am having treatment.My padt is not affecting me now but it is affecting him making him overthink a lot and I can't see him suffer like this.Before I came to his life,he was telling his family that he don't want marriage and he will be single for life.I know that my past is not smthg that every boy can accept.But he told me that he can't accept my past ever in this life nor he can't stop overthinking about it.And because of this he wants to leave me even though he loves me.He literally told me that he can fight for me and be in a relationship with me but with the condition that I have to see him suffer.I told him to see my doctor who can better explain my past to him.But it's been months I have been telling him this and still now he didn't took an effort to see my doc.I can't even imagine spending a moment of my life with him.I found my home in him.But my concern is that is he loving me like I do.If he loves me that much he will stick on to that one reason to be with me and he is not doing.Other than the fact that he can't accept my past and it is making him suffer,everything between us is good.Should we consult a relationship expert.He told me that it is better to end this now rather than getting married in future and face problems because of this and fighting with each other and finally getting a divorce.He might be correct if this issue is not resolved now,it might create problems in the longrun.But the thing is I can't change my past and whatever happened to me was not my fault.My past has become a curse in my current relationship.I can assure that my past will not create any issue in our marriage if he can accept it somehow and not overthink about it.If we continue this relationship he have to live with the overthinking about my past for my happiness.Otherwise also if we both breakup I will suffer more because of it and he too will also suffer because he left me.He is telling that the problem is with him that he can't accept my past.What should I do to fix this problem and make him accept my past and understand my love for him?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. It looks like you already know that your past is not your fault, so I don't have to remind you of that. I just want you to keep reminding yourself the same thing whenever you feel the doubts creeping in. Now, coming to your partner- though it is a little unfair that he is judging you by your past, it would also be unfair to him because he clearly mentioned that he wants someone like himself; someone without any intimate experience. I cannot explain to you why that is important to so many people, but since he has been upfront about his preference, I think it is only fair to let him decide what he wants with this relationship. Also, if he is convinced that this past thing will cause problems in the future, it really isn't the best decision to move on with the relationship like everything is okay. Accept that things are not alright, and give him the space to cool down. Do not try to convince him to get back together- I know it will be hard but it is extremely important for both your futures. If he comes back, then great. If he doesn't, you should know that it's for the best.
I know you think your life will be messed up without him, and you will forever be sad, but you are wrong. It won't. Great things will happen to you because you deserve them all.
Best Wishes.

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I’ve grown up hearing from elders that mixing fruits with milk is bad for digestion and can cause stomach problems or skin issues. They always say fruits should be eaten separately and never combined with milk. But at the same time, I see so many people having fruit milkshakes, banana shakes, mango shakes, and smoothies every single day without any problem. Even gyms and diet plans recommend fruit smoothies as healthy breakfast options. This makes me really confused. For example, if I drink a banana milkshake in the morning, am I harming my digestion? Or if I blend mixed fruits with milk and nuts for a quick breakfast, is that actually unhealthy? Some people also say it can cause acidity or slow digestion, while others claim it’s a good source of protein and vitamins together. So what is the actual truth? Is mixing fruits with milk genuinely harmful for everyone, or does it depend on the type of fruit, body type, or digestion strength?

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Question by Jyothi - Mar 07, 2026Hindi

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Sir , I am looking for admissiion for my son in 2026 for Engineering. Is it a good decision to pursue ECE rather than CSE if the kid is OK with either. In bangalore for ECE please rate the top 3 colleges

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Reetika Sharma |598 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi, Myself Raj Banerjee aged 48 years. I am single. I work as IT professional and currently facing some challenges in job. Our current annual expense in approximately 12L. I have small house and do not plan / aspire for any more real estate. Till now I have been able to accumulate 7.2cr all in Bank FD, 80L in PF, 18L in PPF, 15L in stocks and gold (50:50 split). I do not have any Life Insurance but have medical insurance for myself (5L retail policy + 8L corporate policy). I am requesting help that assuming if I lose / leave job immediately how to plan the corpus / investment so that I can generate income from investment and plan for living till 90 years.

Ans: Hi Raj,

You have built a very strong base at your age. I understand your concern regarding job uncertainity and it is rather wise to be prepared for the worst. LEt us discuss everything in detail.
> You have 7.2 crores in FD. This entire amount needs to be reinvested in debt mutual funds. This way, the tax on FD interest can be saved. Debt mutual funds provide similar return of FD.
> You also have 80 lakhs in PF - can be of instant use in casr of a job loss.
> 18 lakhs PPF - again a good debt investment with tax benefit. Continue.
> 15 lakhs in gold and stocks. The allocation here can be increased. Can consider investing 50% of FD amount in equity and hybrid mutual funds. Avoid direct stock investment as these require in-depth knowledge and analysis.
> Medical policy cover is quite less. Take a super top up policy of 1 crore keeping in mind the rising medical cost.

In case of any job loss, you can easily manage your expenses forever (inflation adjusted).
Keep only 50 lakhs in FD. Move rest amount in mutual funds - debt, hybrid and equity.

Take a professional's help and do this right away to get maximum tax and return benefit.

Hence do connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |598 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 09, 2026

Question by ajay - Dec 15, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir.. Can you please review my portfolio Currently i m doing SIP in below funds from alst 2 years Canara small cap. 3500 DSP Multicap. 3000 Hdfc flexi cap. 5000 Icici value discovery 3000 Kotak midcap. 2000 Motilal mid cap. 3000 SBI LAMarge & mid. 2500 Total sip per month 22000 And one time also done in above in last one Please review amd suggest if any changes nedeed.. my target is 10 years

Ans: Hi Ajay,

The mentioned funds are good for 10 years. But the current portfolio is quite overlapping in nature. Replace Motilal midcap with Axis bluechip fund.
Avoid any future lumpsum in SBI large midcap fund.

Make sure to increase your SIP amount whenever possible.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |598 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 09, 2026

Question by Aarav - Dec 27, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi,I am 42 years old ,having 2 children ,First child 12 years old and second child 5 years old.Wife is government teacher. Monthly salary is 2.39 lakhs and my wife’s salary is 82 k ,Investing 1 lakh in Sip with investment in 90% equity having corpus of 1.75 cr,property 1 cr ,Jeevan anand 10 lakh. Having only 1 car loan of 20 lakhs,emi 33 k. Please help to plan my investment as I want to buy house at good location for approx 2 cr and balance should be left for my family’s future ask.

Ans: Hi Aarav,

You have saved good amount at such age. Let us go through the financials in detail:
Total monthly income - Rs. 3.2 lakhs; Monthly EMI - 33k.
> 1 crore property.
> 1.75 mutual funds with 90% equity. SIP of 1 lakh per month.
> 10 lakhs Jeevan Anand.

Looking forward to buy house worth 2 crores. You can liquidate existing property worth 1 crore for the down payment of new house and take loan for remaining 1 crores. Also try to reduce loan amount so as to reduce your EMI. Total EMI (home & car) should not exceed 1 lakh per month.

Meanwhile continue your SIPs and try to increase SIP contribution by 10% each year. Get your MF portfolio reviewed by experts periodially.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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