Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
anonymous Question by anonymous on Mar 19, 2025

HI! i need an advice on how convince my parents, i am in love with a guy who is much genuine to all my feelings and loves me to the core, well he earns a quite less than me, that is the major reason for my parents disapproval also he belongs to a different caste, i had tried convincing my parents certain times telling them about how we could handle our lives happily but it ended up in them blackmailing emotionally, and verbally and physically abusing. i found this page and thought this would be apt for giving me answers

Ans: Hello mam, it is not bad to fall in love with a person who has a different caste from yours or earns a little less than yours.
Financial things can be managed at a point but he should be willing to change his own situation by working on it.
You can sit with your parents and talk to them and convince them to atleast have a meeting with the boy and share their concerns with him. I am sure you will be able to convince them and make the things in order. Take care !
Reach me :
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS
Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?
Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2026Hindi
Money
have lic jeevan saral policy plan 165 from June 2011 for 15 years with life coverage of Rs50000/- . Age at the time of policy 51 and Yearly premium Rs 24260/ Please inform maturity value at June 2026
Ans: I appreciate your patience in holding this policy for many years.
Many people continue such policies without clarity.
You are doing the right thing by seeking understanding now.
This shows maturity and financial awareness.

» Basic Understanding of Your Policy
– You started the policy in June 2011.
– Policy term is 15 years.
– Maturity is due in June 2026.
– Entry age was 51 years.
– Yearly premium is Rs 24,260.
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.

This policy is insurance plus savings combined.
Such policies focus more on forced savings.
Protection element is very small.

» Total Premium Paid Over Policy Term
– You pay premium for full 15 years.
– Yearly premium remains constant.
– Premium payment ends before maturity.

By maturity, total premium paid will be substantial.
This is important for comparison.

» How Maturity Value Is Decided
– This policy does not give bonus like others.
– It works on a maturity value factor system.
– Maturity value depends on age and term.
– Loyalty additions may be added at maturity.

Returns are pre-declared, not market linked.

» Expected Maturity Value Range
– For your age and premium, returns are modest.
– Such policies generally give low annual growth.
– Growth is closer to traditional savings products.

Based on past experience with similar cases:
– Maturity value is usually between Rs 4.5 lakh to Rs 5.2 lakh.

This is an approximate range.
Exact figure depends on final loyalty addition.

» Why Maturity Value Feels Low
– Large part of premium goes toward costs.
– Mortality charges are high due to entry age.
– Returns are not linked to equity growth.

These factors reduce wealth creation potential.

» Life Cover Assessment
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.
– This amount is too small today.
– It does not protect family needs.

Insurance objective is not fulfilled properly.

» Investment Assessment
– Policy forces discipline, not growth.
– Returns do not beat long-term inflation.
– Purchasing power reduces over time.

This impacts real wealth.

» Liquidity Aspect
– Money is locked for long term.
– Exit before maturity causes loss.
– Flexibility is limited.

This restricts financial freedom.

» Risk Versus Reward Balance
– Risk is low.
– Reward is also low.
– Long holding period gives limited benefit.

Such balance does not suit wealth creation.

» Tax Aspect at Maturity
– Maturity proceeds are usually tax free.
– This is a positive aspect.
– But tax benefit alone is not enough.

Net outcome still remains weak.

» Emotional Attachment Factor
– Long association builds emotional comfort.
– Familiarity creates false security.
– Numbers should guide decisions.

Money decisions must be practical.

» Opportunity Cost Over 15 Years
– Same premium invested differently grows better.
– Time value of money is lost here.
– Compounding opportunity is underused.

This is the hidden cost.

» Should You Continue Till Maturity
– You are very close to maturity now.
– Only limited premiums remain.
– Exit now may reduce value.

From pure practicality, holding till maturity makes sense.

» What To Do After Maturity
– Do not reinvest maturity money here again.
– Do not buy similar policies.
– Separate insurance and investment clearly.

This improves clarity and control.

» Insurance Requirement Going Forward
– Insurance should be pure protection.
– Cover amount should be meaningful.
– Premium should be affordable.

This protects family properly.

» Investment Requirement Going Forward
– Investments should focus on growth.
– Long-term horizon suits market-linked options.
– Discipline should be maintained separately.

This builds real wealth.

» Why Such Policies Are Not Ideal
– They mix two different objectives.
– They dilute both protection and growth.
– Transparency is low.

Clarity always wins financially.

» Should You Surrender Similar Policies
– Yes, for long-term underperforming policies.
– Especially investment-cum-insurance types.
– Evaluate surrender versus paid-up carefully.

Each policy needs separate review.

» If You Hold Any Other LIC Policies
– Check premium versus life cover ratio.
– Review maturity value realistically.
– Assess opportunity cost honestly.

Do not assume all LIC policies are safe wealth tools.

» Behavioural Lesson From This Policy
– Forced savings feels comfortable.
– Comfort does not equal efficiency.
– Awareness changes future outcomes.

This lesson is valuable.

» 360 Degree View of Your Policy
– Protection is inadequate.
– Returns are low.
– Liquidity is poor.
– Tax benefit is limited advantage.

Overall outcome is average at best.

» Positive Side You Should Acknowledge
– You maintained long-term discipline.
– You honoured commitments regularly.
– You avoided policy lapsation.

This discipline is powerful.

» How To Use This Discipline Better
– Channel it into transparent investments.
– Keep insurance purely for protection.
– Review annually with clarity.

Discipline plus right structure creates wealth.

» Finally
– Expected maturity value is around Rs 4.5 to 5.2 lakh.
– Exact amount will be known near June 2026.
– Holding till maturity is sensible now.
– Avoid repeating similar products later.

You are in a position to improve future outcomes.
This awareness itself is progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2026Hindi
Money
Sir I have Aviva life insurance policy premium payable 10 years,I have already paid 5 years, I want to discontinue, can I and how much surrender value can I get.
Ans: I appreciate that you are taking a clear decision about your Aviva life insurance policy.
You have courage to review and possibly improve your financial choices.
This step shows responsibility and seriousness about money.

» Can You Discontinue / Surrender the Policy
– Yes, most Aviva regular premium life policies allow surrender after some years of premium paid.
– If you have paid at least the minimum required number of premiums, you can get surrender value.
– Most Aviva plans require at least 3 years’ premiums before surrender value applies.
– If you have paid 5 years already, you satisfy this condition in most cases.

So yes, you can discontinue and surrender the policy now.

» What Happens When You Surrender
– When you surrender, the policy stops.
– All life cover, benefits and future bonuses stop immediately.
– You get a surrender value based on premiums paid and the rules of your policy.

» How Much Surrender Value You Might Get
Exact amount depends on your specific policy terms. But typical factors are:

– Insurance companies usually pay a Guaranteed Surrender Value.
– They sometimes also pay a Special Surrender Value if it is higher.
– You get the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.

For many Aviva regular premium plans, a typical Guaranteed Surrender Value pattern looks like this:

– After 3 years: about 30%
– After 4 years: about 50%
– After 5 years: about 55%
– After 6 years: about 57.5%
– After 7 years: about 60%
– After 8 years: about 65%
– After 9 years: about 70%
– After 10 years: about 90%
– After full term: 100% of premiums paid

So if you have paid 5 years of premiums:
– You may receive roughly around 50% to 60% of your total paid premiums as surrender value.

The actual number will be based on your exact policy contract.

» Example (Illustrative Only)
If you paid Rs 1,00,000 total premiums by 5 years:
– Surrender value might be roughly between Rs 55,000 and Rs 60,000 under standard terms.

This is not exact for your case.
It is just to help you understand the mechanism.

» Special Surrender Value Component
– In some policies, the insurer may credit a special surrender value.
– This may include some part of bonuses or reserves.
– If it is higher than Guaranteed Surrender Value, you get that instead.
– Special values may change over time with company policy and regulator approval.

» What Documents You Need to Submit
Generally, you need these:
– Surrender discharge form from insurer.
– Original policy
– KYC documents like PAN and Aadhaar.
– Cancelled cheque for bank account.

The insurer will guide you with forms.

» What Happens After You Submit Surrender Request
– Company reviews premium history.
– They compute surrender value.
– They pay you the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.
– This amount is paid to your bank account.

» Tax on Surrender Value
– Surrender value of life insurance can be taxable.
– It may be treated as income from other sources in some cases.
– Tax depends on policy type and premium structure.

You should confirm tax treatment before finalising surrender.

» Things to Know Before You Surrender
– You lose life cover immediately.
– You lose future bonuses if any.
– Surrender value is often much lower than premiums paid.
– Early exit penalties apply in many policies.

Surrendering is possible, but cost can be high.

» Why Surrender Value Is Lower
– Insurers recover acquisition costs and commission.
– Early exit penalties apply.
– This structure impacts early-year exits heavily.

Because of these reasons, surrender value feels disappointing.

» Should You Consider Alternatives
Before surrendering fully, consider:
– Paid-up option.
– You stop premiums but keep reduced benefits.

Paid-up may give better value than immediate surrender.

Your exact option depends on policy terms.

» Important to Check in Your Policy
Ask for a written statement showing:
– Guaranteed surrender value as on date.
– Special surrender value, if available.
– Paid-up benefit details.
– Impact on coverage and future benefits.

Always take figures in writing.

» Next Step for You
– Contact Aviva customer service.
– Ask for surrender value quote today.
– Ask for paid-up option quote also.
– Compare both before deciding.

Getting clarity reduces regret later.

Finally, you are free to stop the policy now.
But surrender value will be lower than premiums paid.
Decision should balance loss versus future benefit.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6769 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Career
Sir, I completed my 12th standard from CBSE with PCM in 2025, and I am currently preparing for the COMEDK exam, through which admissions are given to top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. However, my 12th result was not very good because I did not prepare properly. As a result, I got an RT (Repeat in Theory) in Chemistry. In my CBSE marksheet, I am shown as overall pass because I had taken six subjects, due to which Chemistry became an additional subject. As you know, Chemistry is a compulsory subject for engineering colleges, so I appeared for the NIOS On-Demand Improvement Examination for only the Chemistry subject, and I have passed it. Sir, I want to know whether two marksheets from different boards—one being the CBSE marksheet showing overall pass, and the other being the NIOS marksheet for a single-subject improvement in Chemistry—are accepted by top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. Also, will these documents be accepted during COMEDK counselling document verification?
Ans: Yes. Generally, top private engineering colleges and COMEDK counselling accept a CBSE overall pass marksheet along with an NIOS single-subject Chemistry pass marksheet, provided Chemistry is passed, and you meet eligibility. Still, final acceptance depends on COMEDK/college verification rules. However, it is highly recommended that you carefully review the COMDEK brochure. If you have doubts about our clarification or reply, it would be better to visit the administrative office of any top engineering college in person and ask them directly without any hesitation to resolve your problems/doubts across the table instantly. With this, you will be free from stress that you hold in your mind. Now, focus more on COMDEK and try to score more. Best of luck to your bright future.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x