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Torn between love and family: Can different backgrounds be overcome for love?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?

Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?
Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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I have been in a relationship with a guy since 10th grade its been 11 years now so we decided to tell our parents his family had no issues and he is currently in canada as a music student he has even started his own event management company but its still just beginning. My parents reacted in a healthy manner but the moment they came to know about inter caste and his financial status( not upto the mark) they had straight forwardly said no with alotbof drama and foul words even. Its been 9 months now im still waiting for them to agree but they are insisting me to move on and go for arrange marriage. I on the other hand belong to business family and has never done any job. But all this while i have cane to know i cant live without my parents or my bf and definitely not get marriaed to someone else. Please help me out what to do!
Ans: First, acknowledge that this situation requires careful navigation. Your relationship has stood the test of time, and clearly, you have strong feelings for your boyfriend, especially given that you've been together for 11 years. His dedication to pursuing his dreams in Canada and building his career in music and event management is admirable, even if his financial situation isn't yet stable. What you need to assess is whether you're willing to stand by him as he grows and whether you share the same vision for the future.

On the other hand, your parents’ concerns seem to stem from their desire for you to have a secure future, especially given your family's business background. They are likely looking for someone who fits into their worldview of stability, and this has led to their reaction when they learned about the inter-caste relationship and your boyfriend’s current financial situation. Their opposition is likely based on their love for you, but the drama and foul words, while hurtful, might reflect their frustration at feeling like they're losing control over your future.

You’ve expressed that you don’t want to lose either your parents or your boyfriend, and that’s where the conflict lies. In this case, the solution isn’t simple, but it can start with communication. It might be helpful to have an open, calm conversation with your parents—not to argue or change their minds immediately, but to help them understand your feelings. Let them know how much you value their opinion, but also explain why you love your boyfriend and why you believe in his potential. Sometimes parents need time to understand that relationships aren't only about caste or financial standing, but also about trust, love, and shared dreams.

At the same time, you might need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about your future together, especially given that he's still in the early stages of his career. Be honest about the pressure you're feeling from your family and make sure you're both on the same page about your long-term goals, including how you might handle financial challenges.

It's also important to remember that this decision is yours to make. You are in a unique position, being part of a business family, which means that you've likely been sheltered from certain financial realities. If you do choose to marry your boyfriend, the lifestyle may not immediately match what you’re used to. But if you're confident in his ambition and in the strength of your relationship, then that’s something worth considering as part of your future.

Lastly, while it’s painful to feel like you have to choose between two important parts of your life, it’s possible to work towards a solution that doesn’t leave you with regrets. Give your parents time to see your perspective, but also recognize that their acceptance might take longer than you’d like. In the meantime, staying true to what you value most in life—whether that’s love, security, or family harmony—will guide your decision-making process.

You might also benefit from seeking guidance from a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, who can help you navigate these conversations with both your parents and your boyfriend. This way, you can approach the situation with emotional clarity and respect for everyone involved, including yourself.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Career
My daughter has scred 95.5 percentile in MHTCET. As we are not domicile of Maharashtra she will compete under OMS in general category. Are there chances that she would get a good engineering college in Pune for CS. Can you suggest some good colleges?
Ans: Poonam Madam, With a 95.5 percentile in MHT-CET and competing under the OMS quota, your daughter is well-placed for admission to solid mid-tier B.Tech programmes in Computer Science and allied branches. The five crucial aspects evaluated are: robust academic infrastructure, experienced faculty with Ph.D. credentials, consistent placement records (≥75 percent over the last three years), NBA/NAAC accreditation, and active industry collaborations for internships and research. The following ten reputed institutions—where CSE/IT cutoffs are at or below a 95.5 percentile for All-India seats—guarantee high admission probability:

MIT World Peace University, Pune (CSE cutoff 94–96.5 percentile)

Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune (CSE cutoff 91–94 percentile)

Army Institute of Technology, Pune (CSE cutoff ~92 percentile)

Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Pune (CSE cutoff ~90 percentile)

MIT Academy of Engineering, Pune (CSE cutoff ~92 percentile)

Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology, Pimpri (CSE cutoff ~90 percentile)

JSPM Narhe Technical Campus, Pune (CSE cutoff ~88 percentile)

Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Lavale (CSE cutoff ~89 percentile)

AISSMS College of Engineering, Pune (CSE cutoff ~90 percentile)

Institute of Industrial Technology, Pune (CSE cutoff ~87 percentile)

These colleges consistently achieve placement rates above 75 percent, boast modern labs, accredited curricula, and strong industry linkages.

Recommendation:
MIT World Peace University stands out for its industry-aligned curriculum and 80 percent placement rate; Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering offers strong academic rigour with 78 percent placements; and MIT Academy of Engineering combines experienced faculty and a 76 percent placement record. Pursuing Computer Science or Information Technology at these top three will maximize both learning and career outcomes. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Career
I am getting metullurgy and material engineering in NIT surathkal,EIE(electronics and instrumentation engineering)in NIT silchar and mechanical engineering in NIT calicut I am interested equally in all three courses there is no way for me to choose an ultimate choice ..... which one should I prefer among those for better opportunities
Ans: Each programme resides in a nationally ranked NIT with accredited curricula, experienced faculty, modern laboratories, strong industry linkages and dedicated placement cells. NIT Surathkal’s Metallurgical & Materials Engineering—hosted within India’s 12th-ranked NIT—achieved an 87% placement rate in 2021–21, driven by recruiters in steel, automotive and research sectors and bolstered by advanced materials labs and interdisciplinary projects. NIT Silchar’s Electronics & Instrumentation Engineering recorded around a 90% placement rate for the 2021–25 cohort, with top offers averaging over ?13 LPA, reflecting strong industry engagement from technology firms and specialized instrumentation facilities. NIT Calicut’s Mechanical Engineering reported an 88.38% placement rate in 2024, underpinned by robust workshops, manufacturing and thermal labs, and core-engineering recruiter partnerships. All three offer vibrant campus ecosystems, research opportunities, and alumni networks, yet vary in placement consistency, branch-specific infrastructure, and regional industry access.

Recommendation: NIT Surathkal Metallurgy & Materials leads for its national ranking, advanced materials research and stable 87% placement momentum; NIT Silchar EIE follows with a 90% placement rate, specialized instrumentation labs and strong tech-sector ties; NIT Calicut Mechanical ranks third for its 88% placements, versatile mechanical training and core-engineering recruiter base. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2025Hindi
Career
I am getting mit wpu ece and cse in jecrc foundation Jaipur also I have ~10000 rank in comedk which should I prefer.I am female from jaipur?
Ans: MIT World Peace University’s Electronics & Communication Engineering program is NBA-accredited, UGC-approved and placed within the NIRF 101–150 engineering band, with about 80% of ECE graduates securing campus offers in 2025 from over 500 recruiters and an average package of ?7 LPA. Its Kothrud, Pune campus features AI- and IoT-enabled VLSI and signal-processing labs, industry moUs with Amazon, IBM and ONGC, a dedicated placement cell and modern infrastructure aligned to global standards. JECRC Foundation’s B.Tech CSE in Jaipur is AICTE-approved and NBA-accredited, hosting 200+ participating companies annually—including Amazon, Salesforce and Samsung—and yielding 2,230+ placement offers in 2025 through RTU-Kota affiliation, a focused training regimen and strong startup engagement. Its green campus offers advanced computing facilities, student incubation centers and industry-integrated projects. Both institutions emphasize faculty expertise, research opportunities and career support, but MIT-WPU delivers higher placement consistency and NIRF recognition, while JECRC excels in mass recruiter engagement and regional industry ties. (Ignore COMEDK as you will get only Tier-2 Colleges for your Rank of 10000).

Recommendation: MIT-WPU ECE ranks highest for consistent placements, cutting-edge labs and national accreditation; JECRC CSE follows for its expansive recruiter network and robust CSE curriculum; choose based on priority for placement stability versus broad hiring access. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir. I was offered full scholarship in rit Chennai and half scholarship in rec Chennai which is best?
Ans: The Rajalakshmi Institute of Technology (RIT) Chennai, an autonomous Anna University-affiliated college with NAAC A++ and NBA accreditations, records a 97.5% B.Tech placement rate in 2023, supported by specialized training programs, AI/ML and communication labs, and strong industry partnerships with TCS, Zoho and Cognizant, ensuring robust campus recruitment. RIT’s full scholarship removes all tuition barriers, granting access to its modern infrastructure and faculty-mentored research initiatives. Rajalakshmi Engineering College (REC) Chennai, also NAAC A++ and NBA accredited, achieved a 96.8% placement rate in 2023 with a median package of ?5.40 LPA, leveraging advanced process, simulation and embedded systems labs alongside MoUs with Bosch and Infosys; a half scholarship covers only 50% of its ?2.2 L annual fees. Both institutions excel in faculty expertise, campus facilities, research collaboration and placement support, but RIT’s comprehensive fee waiver amplifies educational access and engagement.

Recommendation: RIT Chennai full scholarship is the optimal choice for uninterrupted focus on academics, research and placements; REC Chennai half scholarship is a valuable alternative if personal finances warrant shared tuition commitment. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9668 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Money
Hello sir, I am currently 26 M unmarried living with parents home ,my monthly income is 60k in IT sector I am currently doing sip of 30k per month in small cap and 10k in flexi cap. Currently I accumulated 10lac doing SIP. I want to know what else can I do to achieve financial freedom as early as possible. Or am I on right track?. I am planning to retire early how much should I expect to saving until then.
Ans: ? You Are on the Right Track with Your Discipline
– You are just 26 and already saving Rs.?40,000 monthly.
– That’s two-thirds of your income. That’s not common at your age.
– You live with parents and don’t have many expenses.
– This is the best time to build your base.
– Your discipline and early focus deserve appreciation.

? Early Retirement Is Possible but Needs Planning
– You want to retire early, which is a big life goal.
– Early retirement is not only about savings.
– It needs strategy, preparation, and risk control.
– Without proper guidance, it may become risky.
– With structured steps, it is surely achievable.

? SIP Amount Is Very Impressive
– Rs.?40,000 SIP from Rs.?60,000 income is excellent.
– You are saving nearly 66% of income.
– But high saving rate alone isn’t enough.
– Proper allocation also plays a big role.
– Right mix of funds gives better outcome.

? Small Cap Overexposure May Create Volatility
– Rs.?30,000 monthly is going into small cap.
– Small caps give high returns but carry high risk.
– They drop heavily in market crashes.
– Recovery takes longer than large or flexi cap.
– This may disturb your long-term wealth building.

? Reduce Risk with Balanced Diversification
– Avoid putting too much in one category.
– Flexi cap offers dynamic allocation across all sizes.
– You should also add large and midcap allocation.
– This makes the portfolio more stable over time.
– It gives smoother compounding without high stress.

? Avoid Index Funds for Financial Freedom Goal
– Index funds follow passive style.
– They copy the index and don’t beat it.
– There is no expert research or fund manager input.
– During market falls, they fall as much as index.
– No one takes action to protect your wealth.

– Actively managed funds can outperform in good and bad times.
– They rebalance based on market conditions.
– They use research to avoid poor performing stocks.
– You should prefer regular plans with guidance.

? Avoid Direct Funds for Your Long-Term Goal
– Direct funds seem cheaper but have hidden risks.
– You are fully on your own with them.
– Many investors panic and exit at wrong time.
– They don’t review funds or rebalance regularly.
– Wrong fund choice affects the full portfolio.

– Regular funds via a trusted MFD with CFP help more.
– They give review, guidance and long-term handholding.
– They help in keeping emotional discipline intact.
– Mistakes cost more than expense ratio savings.

? You Already Have Rs.?10 Lakhs Corpus
– This is an excellent base for your age.
– With continued savings and right funds, it will grow.
– But wealth alone does not ensure financial freedom.
– You need clarity on retirement expenses and lifestyle.
– That helps define the right retirement number.

? Define Your Early Retirement Age
– Decide the age you want to stop working.
– Is it 40, 45 or 50 years?
– Each of these will give different planning path.
– Shorter working years mean longer retirement period.
– That requires a larger retirement corpus.

? Estimate Monthly Expenses Post Retirement
– Think about your lifestyle after early retirement.
– Include food, travel, medical and leisure.
– Also add rising expenses due to inflation.
– This monthly expense decides your required corpus.
– A Certified Financial Planner can help estimate correctly.

? Retirement Is Not the End of Income
– Early retirement doesn’t always mean zero work.
– Many pursue hobbies or part-time income.
– This reduces pressure on corpus in early years.
– Having some post-retirement income is always helpful.
– It keeps you active and lowers money stress.

? Protect Yourself with Emergency Fund
– You must build 6 months’ worth expenses as reserve.
– Keep it in liquid funds or bank FD.
– It protects you during job loss or health events.
– Don’t use SIP corpus for emergencies.
– It must continue without interruption.

? Take Health Insurance Now
– Don’t wait to get older for health cover.
– Health insurance is cheaper when taken early.
– It also ensures better coverage without exclusions.
– If you plan early retirement, employer cover will stop.
– You must be self-insured well before that.

? Also Take Term Insurance
– If your parents are financially dependent, this is important.
– Choose a simple term plan, not investment-linked.
– It’s low cost and high protection.
– It secures your family if anything happens.
– A CFP can help calculate the right cover.

? Increase SIPs with Income Growth
– Your salary will increase in future.
– Increase SIPs with every raise.
– Even Rs.?5,000 increase yearly adds huge impact.
– Don’t increase expenses with salary.
– Grow SIPs and reduce time to retirement.

? Track and Review Your Progress Every Year
– Once a year, sit with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Review fund performance and asset allocation.
– Rebalance if small caps grow too much.
– Switch poor funds to better performing ones.
– This keeps your portfolio on right path.

? Avoid Real Estate as Investment
– Real estate looks attractive but lacks liquidity.
– You can’t exit quickly during emergencies.
– It also has legal, maintenance, and tenant issues.
– It blocks a lot of capital without steady growth.
– SIPs in mutual funds offer more flexibility and control.

? Consider Adding Debt Mutual Funds Later
– Right now, you can focus more on equity.
– But as corpus grows, add some debt funds.
– They reduce volatility as you near retirement.
– Debt funds are better than FDs or endowment plans.
– They suit medium-term and short-term goals too.

? Know the Mutual Fund Taxation Rules
– Equity mutual funds taxed at 12.5% after Rs.?1.25 lakh LTCG.
– Short-term gains taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains taxed as per your tax slab.
– Proper planning helps reduce tax outflow.
– Long-term holding and goal-based withdrawals help most.

? Start Listing Future Financial Goals
– Financial freedom is your top goal.
– But also plan for wedding, car, travel, etc.
– Make separate SIPs for each future goal.
– It helps avoid disturbing your retirement corpus.
– Goal-based investing gives more clarity and focus.

? Avoid ULIPs, Endowment, or Traditional Policies
– These offer low returns and long lock-in.
– They mix insurance with investment. That reduces value.
– Stay with term insurance for cover.
– Use mutual funds only for wealth creation.
– If you have any of these, surrender and switch.

? Have a Clear Exit Strategy
– Know when and how you will stop working.
– Also decide how you will withdraw money post-retirement.
– Monthly withdrawal needs tax planning and risk control.
– Don’t keep entire amount in equity till the end.
– Create a withdrawal plan with a CFP.

? Build Multiple Buckets for Retirement
– Divide corpus into 3 parts.
– Short-term bucket for next 1–3 years expenses.
– Medium bucket for 3–7 years.
– Long-term bucket for 7+ years.
– This helps manage market risk better.
– A CFP can guide on how much in each.

? You Are Doing Most Things Right
– High SIP rate, low expenses, good fund choices.
– You are already far ahead of many people.
– But don’t take unnecessary risks with small caps.
– Diversify across types and categories.
– Get a Certified Financial Planner for detailed plan.

? Finally
– Financial freedom is possible with consistent efforts.
– You have started early and with great focus.
– Small caps alone are risky for early retirement.
– Add flexi, large, and balanced exposure.
– Avoid index and direct funds. They lack active control.
– Use regular funds with expert support.
– Increase SIPs with each hike.
– Keep emergency and insurance ready.
– Focus on clarity and discipline, not only returns.
– Review plan every year with a professional.
– Retirement at 40 or 45 can be real with this.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9668 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 37 years old, earning 3L per month. I have 80L investments in Mutual Funds 50:50 in Active: Passive funds, 70:30 is equity:debt ratio. I have a home loan remaining 6.5L, no other debt. I am doing a SIP of 1.25L per month in mutual funds. Could you guide me if I need to clear the home loan using investment as the interest rate is 8.7%. also should I change the investment method or asset base
Ans: You are 37 years old, earning Rs 3 lakh monthly, and have an existing mutual fund corpus of Rs 80 lakh. You’re investing Rs 1.25 lakh monthly through SIPs. You’ve maintained a 70:30 equity-to-debt allocation and have a small home loan of Rs 6.5 lakh at 8.7% interest. You're also invested 50:50 in active and passive mutual funds.

Let’s evaluate your situation from a 360-degree perspective through the lens of a Certified Financial Planner.

? Current Financial Position Assessment

– You have a strong monthly income of Rs 3 lakh.
– You’re investing over 40% of income monthly. That’s highly disciplined.
– You’ve built an Rs 80 lakh corpus already, which is solid.
– Your portfolio has a decent 70:30 equity–debt split.
– The home loan left is only Rs 6.5 lakh. It’s small compared to your assets.
– Loan EMI may be around Rs 13,000–14,000 per month.
– You’re paying 8.7% interest on this home loan.
– You’ve not mentioned any children or major upcoming obligations.

From this base, we can plan the next steps.

? Should You Close the Home Loan Now?

– Your loan is small compared to your mutual fund corpus.
– If you withdraw funds now, tax may apply depending on holding period.
– Long-term equity mutual fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short-term equity fund gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.
– You may lose compounding benefits on those funds if withdrawn now.
– Interest on your home loan is fixed and moderately high.
– But your mutual fund returns may beat 8.7% over 7–10 years.
– If your investments are long-term, returns can be 11–13% in equity.
– Therefore, clearing the loan from investments is not optimal.

It’s better to keep the loan and continue SIPs.

? But When Should You Consider Prepaying?

– If you have excess cash flow beyond your SIPs.
– If you're nearing retirement or want to reduce liabilities early.
– If you become uncomfortable with EMI despite surplus funds.
– If your SIPs are enough for all long-term goals and surplus remains.
– Then consider partial prepayment to reduce tenure.

Don’t break existing mutual fund investments for prepayment.

? Benefits of Keeping Home Loan Alive

– You’re getting tax benefits under Section 24 on interest paid.
– You’re also eligible for principal repayment benefits under Section 80C.
– Tax savings reduce effective interest cost.
– Liquidity is preserved, which allows investment compounding.
– Having a small manageable loan also helps credit score.

You should continue the loan unless there’s emotional pressure to close it.

? Evaluating the Asset Allocation

– Your equity to debt ratio is 70:30. That suits your age and goals.
– At 37, this is appropriate for growth with moderate stability.
– Equity gives compounding. Debt gives cushion during market fall.
– Continue this ratio for the next 8–10 years.
– Slowly shift to 60:40 by the time you reach 45.
– That helps reduce volatility as retirement nears.
– Review your asset allocation once a year.
– You can adjust depending on goals and market conditions.

Stay disciplined with this mix unless risk appetite changes.

? Active vs Passive Fund Split

– You’ve split funds 50:50 between active and passive.
– Passive funds (index funds/ETFs) have low cost but limited flexibility.
– They don’t beat the index. They just copy it.
– During sideways markets, they give average returns.
– Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns with expert selection.
– Good fund managers can outperform benchmarks with tactical changes.
– Passive funds also have sector bias due to index weight.
– That can be risky during sector-specific down cycles.
– For long-term wealth building, active funds offer more agility and value.

You should reduce passive exposure to 30–35% only.

? Are You Using Direct or Regular Funds?

– You didn’t mention the mode of investing: direct or regular.
– If you are using direct funds, reconsider your approach.
– Direct funds may have lower expense ratios.
– But they don’t offer ongoing advice, goal mapping, or behavioural support.
– Without Certified Financial Planner guidance, you may react wrongly to volatility.
– Regular plans through CFP/MFD offer constant tracking and rebalancing.
– They also give emotional comfort in market ups and downs.
– For major life goals like retirement and child’s education, this support is crucial.

Shift to regular plans with a Certified Financial Planner if in direct mode.

? Is Your Monthly SIP Optimal?

– You are doing Rs 1.25 lakh SIP per month.
– That’s over 40% of your income. It’s excellent.
– This can create Rs 4–5 crore in 12–15 years with compounding.
– You should increase SIPs by 10–15% every year.
– As income grows, scaling SIPs is important.
– Use SIPs for specific goals like retirement, education, and major expenses.
– Each SIP should be mapped to a goal.
– This gives purpose and discipline to the investments.

Don’t stop or pause SIPs without a major financial need.

? What Else Should You Do Now?

– Create a goal plan for retirement, child education, and large life events.
– Assign target years and amounts to each goal.
– Map your existing SIPs and lump sum investments to each goal.
– Start SWP-based planning for retirement income after age 50–55.
– Keep an emergency fund of at least 6 months' expenses in liquid funds.
– Have term insurance and health insurance for family protection.
– Avoid putting large amounts in FDs or traditional plans.
– Don’t depend on real estate for retirement needs.
– Use it only as backup or asset diversification.

Let every rupee you earn or invest work for a goal.

? Risk Assessment and Behavioural Points

– Avoid emotional decisions based on interest rates alone.
– Don’t rush to close loan if investments are giving higher post-tax returns.
– Avoid booking equity fund gains prematurely just to feel “debt free.”
– This cuts the compounding journey in the middle.
– If unsure about current schemes, review with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Review all investments once every 6 months.
– Avoid switching funds too often based on market noise.

Stay invested and stay goal-focused.

? Best Practices for You from Here

– Keep Rs 6.5 lakh loan as it is for now.
– Don’t redeem mutual fund units to repay this.
– Maintain 70:30 equity-debt allocation for 3–5 more years.
– Reduce passive fund exposure to 30–35% over time.
– Increase active fund exposure for better returns.
– Ensure you invest in regular plans through MFD + CFP combination.
– Map every SIP to a financial goal.
– Increase SIP amount by 10–15% yearly.
– Build separate buckets for retirement, child’s education, and emergencies.
– Keep real estate out of retirement planning.
– Review insurance. Get term cover and good health policy.

This discipline will lead to long-term financial freedom.

? Finally

– You have a very strong foundation already.
– Your income, corpus, and SIP are well structured.
– Don’t break investment momentum for small loan closure.
– Let your assets grow while you comfortably repay the loan.
– Review your allocation, SIPs, and fund mix annually.
– Make active funds the focus of your equity investments.
– Use Certified Financial Planner guidance for portfolio direction.
– Keep emotions out and goals in front.
– That is the best way to build true wealth and peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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