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Ravi Mittal |727 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 15, 2026

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2026Hindi

My husband often lies about small things just to avoid arguments. For example, he says he was busy at work when he actually went out with friends. There are so many times I would tell him to remind his mother or talk to her about something, he will forget and later say he just didn’t want to do it. These may not seem big but it is causing a lot of issues at home. When I find out from someone else, I become a laughing matter. Even if he says something, I have to double check. I don't trust him any more. How to explain this to him?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your situation can be tiring. It might seem trivial but when it keeps piling up, it gets emotionally exhausting for the person who is on the receiving end of this. Repeated half truths can make a person feel emotionally unsafe in the long term and trust and comfort are key aspects of a healthy marriage. Maybe his intent is not malicious, he still needs to understand that it is not fair to you. Here is what I suggest: let him know that the issue is not the small lies, but the feeling it creates for you. When you find out the truth from someone else, it embarrasses you and breaks your heart that you don't know things about your husband that others do. This pattern makes it difficult for you to trust things that he says. Along with expressing your emotions, acknowledge them too. See if you react negatively when he says he wants to hangout with friends; I am not blaming you here, but introspection is the only way to understand where this behavior is stemming from. Let him know that you do not want yourself to turn into a detective trying to decode everything. You want plain honesty. Clear communication can help a lot. Start from here.

Best Wishes.

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Anu Krishna |1796 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Question by TT - Sep 20, 2021Hindi

Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you. Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago. Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married. Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also. He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life. Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together. Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner. I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation. I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on. Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too. I am completely confused about what should I do. I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things. Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

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