I am 47 married and have a daughter of 16 years. From last two years I am madly in love with my colleague who is divorced living in our company campus. She is 35 and have two children of 18 and 16 years. She is from different religion and lives alone. She is extremely beautiful. She knows I am in love with her but refuses to accept. She sometimes cooks breakfast me and brings box for me. She is hardworking and respects me a lot. I want her love. I don't want any illegal affair. I tried to convey this many times directly or indirectly but failed to get her response. I am mad and can't think anything else apart from her. I am giving less attention to my family. What to do to get her love without any sexual affair.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You are indulging in a very toxic relationship and my only advice is to get out of it as quickly as possible. First off, it's unethical. You are married and that makes it cheating. Secondly, the woman is clearly not in love with you, and she has been vocal about it. You are wasting your time, energy, and money on someone who does not care for you. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but it's the truth.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is lack of positive challenges making you run around this lady?
What kind of future do you see with her?
What kind of a present day moment do you see with someone who cannot fathom commitment?
Also do you think that by loading her with gifts, you can buy her attention and love?
If you crave attention, then you might want to try and do something in life that will make people turns their heads towards you...any attention from the external world is very short-lived till it satisfies their need after which you will be discarded without much of a sigh...
So, pull yourself up NOW and develop connections with people who value you and your presence in their lives!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: The first step in addressing this is to recognize that feelings, while they can be powerful, do not define actions. You’ve already demonstrated a strong commitment to your family by maintaining boundaries and shifting your relationship with your colleague to a purely professional one. This shows a conscious effort to align your actions with your values, which is an important foundation.

It’s also important to reflect on what might have contributed to these feelings. They may not solely be about your colleague as a person but could also reflect unmet emotional needs, stress, or the appeal of a connection that feels easy and understanding during a challenging time in your life. Identifying these underlying factors can help you understand yourself better and redirect your energy toward strengthening your emotional connection with your family.

Managing the proximity with your colleague at work is understandably challenging. To maintain your professional relationship while protecting your personal boundaries, consider setting clear mental and emotional limits. Focus conversations strictly on work-related topics, avoid situations that might blur boundaries, and remind yourself regularly of your commitment to your family and the life you’ve built with them.

It might also help to channel the emotional energy you’ve felt toward this colleague into enhancing your relationship with your spouse. Reinvesting in your marriage—through shared activities, open communication, or even small gestures of affection—can help renew your bond and remind you of what is truly meaningful in your life.

If these feelings continue to linger and cause distress, speaking with a therapist or counselor could provide a safe space to process your emotions and explore strategies to cope. They can help you navigate this situation in a way that aligns with your values and preserves your emotional well-being.

The fact that you are seeking advice and prioritizing your family shows that you are deeply committed to doing the right thing. With time, effort, and self-awareness, you can navigate these emotions and maintain integrity in both your personal and professional life.