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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello I am married 42 male. I m in love with a lady who is also married for the last 2 yr . We met through matrimony prior both of our marriage in 2015. She has many relationships till date with colleagues and also with her husband boss. Inspite of knowing this , I am unable to come out of the relationship. Also she used to tell me she doesn't love me.i hv already spent around 1.5 lakhs for buying gifts

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You are indulging in a very toxic relationship and my only advice is to get out of it as quickly as possible. First off, it's unethical. You are married and that makes it cheating. Secondly, the woman is clearly not in love with you, and she has been vocal about it. You are wasting your time, energy, and money on someone who does not care for you. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but it's the truth.

Best Wishes!
Asked on - Dec 21, 2023 | Answered on Jan 02, 2024
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Sir I know. My wife too know this and she is too supporting me to come out. But I madly love her. I tried to discontinue all contact many times but every time she tells u are my best friend...bla bla. She told me that she has been physical with 3 college friend and 2 colleagues of her and her husband. For her husband promotion, she slept with his boss too. Inspite of knowing all these, I love her. I had not been in any physical relationship with her.tried everything including meditation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you came clean to your wife and she is helping you come out of this mess. I am sure you know this, but still, I'd like to point out that you are a lucky man to have a partner such as your wife. Focus on that.

You might be in love but you are also married and that makes your love unethical. And meditation does not help in all things, and it's a tough feat to achieve. I suggest you see a marriage counselor or seek therapy yourself. There's no shame in seeking help. You left your concerns and questions here for me, and that's seeking help too. That is a good start. Now I recommend you see a professional who can help you with structured guidance. Before your marriage falls to pieces, I highly recommend taking proactive steps. Sometimes we can't do it alone and that's when licensed therapists come in. Please think about seeing one.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

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I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1153 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

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