Hello madam, I have a question. I work in a bank as an officer. The problem that i feel i myself am having is i do not talk much or say the least at my workplace. For this reason people start misunderstanding me. But by nature i am introvert. Please help

Ans: Dear Riki,
Building healthy workplace relationships is critical for success and smooth working. While you are a quieter person, do make an effort to have a few meaningful conversations with your colleagues - it builds better likeability quotient.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Balaji,

Thank you for writing in.

First of all, stop labelling yourself (like you have mentioned in the above question "I am an Introvert type"). As humans our brains are wired to believe what information we feed to ourselves.

Second, acceptance. Accepting the way, you are. That is your strength.

Certain steps that can be considered -
- Know the agenda you are entering into. This will help you prepare in advance on the conversations you need to engage in.
If there are no agendas then you can -
- Initiate small talks. For example- talk about current affairs in the industry (avoid talking about religion or politics) as this can get sensitive. Conversation should be general in nature. This will help you break the ice with the individual.
- Asking open ended questions- such questions help you encourage others to share more information. Instead of asking yes/no questions, ask questions that require a more detailed response, such as "What was that experience like for you?" or "Tell me more about..."
- Focus on your observation- Observe your surroundings and what's happening in the environment. You can use these observations as conversation starters. For example, if you're at a restaurant, you can comment on the decor, the food, or the atmosphere.
- Share Personal Stories- Personal anecdotes can make your conversations more relatable and engaging.
-Use Body Language- Your body language can enhance your communication. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasize points, and smile when appropriate to convey warmth and engagement.
-Don’t hesitate to seek for professional help- If you feel that your difficulty in engaging in conversations is causing significant distress or impacting your personal and professional life, consider seeking professional help. This should help you navigate with the tips and tricks.

Hope this helps.

All the best

Ashwini Dasgupta
To your Success. Be You. Be Confident
Author of Confidence Decoded- Is it a Skill or Attitude?

Ans: It's great that you're aware of the impact your talkative nature has on your work efficiency. Here are some strategies to help you manage your talkative tendencies while balancing customer satisfaction and your office responsibilities by establishing clear boundaries for your interactions with customers. While it's important to provide excellent customer service, set limits on the length and depth of conversations to ensure you can prioritize your office work. Allocate specific time slots during your day for customer interactions and office tasks. Use techniques like time blocking to schedule dedicated periods for meeting with customers and focusing on your administrative duties. Identify your most critical office tasks and prioritize them based on importance and urgency. Focus on completing high-priority tasks during designated office hours, and schedule customer meetings around these priorities. Delegate certain customer interactions or administrative tasks to your team members or support staff. Empower your team to handle routine inquiries or transactions, freeing up your time to focus on strategic priorities. When engaging with customers, practice active listening to understand their needs and concerns effectively. Summarize key points and address their inquiries efficiently to prevent conversations from veering off-topic. Clearly communicate your availability and office hours to customers. Set realistic expectations regarding response times for inquiries or follow-ups, and inform customers of alternative points of contact for urgent matters. Implement visual cues or signals to indicate when you're available for conversations with customers and when you need uninterrupted time for office work. For example, use a "Do Not Disturb" sign or closed office door during focused work sessions. Reflect on your communication habits and identify triggers or patterns that contribute to excessive talking. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness techniques to manage impulsivity and maintain focus during work hours.

Consider participating in workshops, seminars, or training programs focused on time management, communication skills, and customer service excellence. Develop strategies and techniques to enhance your effectiveness in managing customer interactions and office responsibilities.

By implementing these strategies and techniques, you can strike a balance between providing excellent customer service and fulfilling your office duties effectively. Remember that managing talkativeness is a skill that can be honed over time with practice, self-discipline, and a proactive approach to improving your work habits.