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Anu Krishna |835 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by KM on May 30, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am a 43 year old man my relationship with .y wife goes back 29 years and marriage is of 21 years. I caught her cheating and came across her chats. I am unable to forget it. I asked her to leave filed for divorce then again called her back and did not file for divorce. We have a 15 year old daughter. I am just not able to forget each line of her chats with her bf.

Ans: Dear KM,
You asked her to leave and filed for divorce and then went back on it? Why so?
Why did you call her back and then also not want to file for divorce?
And you are still tormented by each line of the chat...
Either, you and your wife can talk about it and move past this OR you need to decide if you want to move out of the marriage.
There is no point having one foot here and another there; it will cause you a lot of pain which is what is happening currently.
So, since you have mentioned that you have a daughter, it's possible that you have held back because of her. Understandable as you are thinking of her and her happiness as well.

I suggest, you and your wife have a conversation and a very honest one...tell her exactly what and how you feel.
If you feel that there is possibility of reconciliation and that can happen only if you are willing to forgive and move on, then kindly find a way to live under a roof amicably. If not, then the best is to think about how a separation can help also keeping your daughter in mind.

Go one way and decide what that way will be. Forgiveness isn't easy, but if it can give you your peace of mind back, why not! Talk it out please...

All the best!

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Dr Ashish Sehgal |97 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2023Hindi

Relationship

My wife has had a serious relationship with my nephew, which i caught when i heard several call recording stored in the phone. She might not have been 100% physical with him but thats not confirmed, and thats eating my head out. The problem is that she is forgetful of things and when i bring certain topics such as travel or food or marriage ceremonies etc, which i think she will remember, she just blanks out and does not remeber them at all. The day i confronted her about the affair she accepted many things that day, but now she has forgotten when did i even confront her. Second problem is that the chats are an on and off thing presently too. She ignores him and vice versa for months and suddenly there is a spurt of activity on phones or in family meets and then everything dies down so much so that i cannot even pin point whether that thing between them exists, even though its in front of me. I am not sure how do i handle the things because this is putting lot of pressure on me mentally, since i cannot confront her as her forgetfulness means i will have to start the story from begning itself.

Ans: I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation. It's understandable that this is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that what you have discovered is a serious breach of trust and it's completely understandable that you are feeling hurt and upset. You may want to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and make decisions about how to move forward.

When it comes to your wife's forgetfulness, it's possible that this is a coping mechanism that she is using to avoid confronting the issue. It's important to communicate clearly with your wife about your concerns and set clear boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

You may want to consider couples counseling as a way to work through these issues together. A therapist can help you both communicate more effectively, develop healthy boundaries, and work on rebuilding trust in your relationship.

It's also important to consider your own needs and boundaries. If you are not comfortable with the situation between your wife and nephew, it's important to communicate that clearly and set boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

Remember, every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to work through these issues together and prioritize open and honest communication in your relationship.

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Kanchan Rai |175 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2023

Question by Arsh - Feb 26, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Dear Mam, I am a 46 year old married man for last 15 years. My wife is 39 year old ... We had an arranged marriage. The marriage all along appeared very happy, so to me. We had a very happy married life.. Our elder child is 13 years. ..... We have another who is 6 year .. ..... Around 8 years back my wife was regularly chatting with her old friend and he was openly flirting... I asked my wife to be careful and stop it.. Which she promised..... ... But she never did, she used to delete the chats and occasionally drop his name... I thought she is a wife, a mother and trusted her.... Last year i came to know that she was meeting him too.. I confronted her... and she gave excuses that it was just few... And she only sat in his Car and took some rides, never got down, never went with him anywhere... Never went to any place, apartment or hotel.. and she insisted it was just few and very recent. ... I checked and found she has met him earlier too.. I checked and found she had paused her google timeline off and on.. She had his contact as hidden in Hangouts, and had exchanged some photographs of hers with my Son to him.. She used to gift him on his birthday........ She was regularly chatting and delteting the messages on all forums with him... On again confronting, she admitted that this all started in 2016...and these are the only visits... She claiming she was afraid so didnt tell all initially.. She says she has met him, but never comitted Adultery... She saying she is remorseful, did a very big blunder and trying all hard to win back my trust... But its very hard to believe and trust...the reason 1) She did not disclose everything to me on first time of confronting...she disclosed only recent visits 2) On being asked to cut off all contacts..she told me she has asked her friend not to contact her thru any mode, but she did not delete him/block him from WhatsApp, Facebook, Truecaller, Mobile contact list..this i had to do. 3) Third she admitted she liked Going out wit him.......4) She so silently used to chat with him even when i was around all these years that i did not suspect....We both are working.. ..please Suggest ..... Hope my identity will not be Disclosed

Ans: Discovering that your wife is talking and meeting with a friend and hiding it from you can be a challenging and stressful situation. If you feel that the friend is flirting with your wife, it can further complicate things and cause feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. However, it is essential to approach the situation calmly and objectively and take steps to address the issue.

The first thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly with your wife. Express your concerns and feelings and ask her to explain her relationship with the friend. Listen carefully to her side of the story and try to understand her perspective. It may be that there is a reasonable explanation for their interactions, such as a long-standing friendship or a professional relationship.

However, if you still feel uncomfortable with their interactions and suspect that there may be something more going on, it is essential to address the issue directly. Let your wife know how their interactions make you feel and explain why you feel uncomfortable with their friendship. It is essential to avoid accusing your wife of anything and instead focus on your own feelings and concerns.

It is also important to consider your own behavior in the relationship. Are you feeling jealous or insecure due to your own issues, or is there a valid reason for your concerns? Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and assess the situation objectively.

If you feel that the friend is indeed flirting with your wife, it may be necessary to set some boundaries. Let your wife know what behavior is unacceptable and make it clear that you expect her to respect your feelings and the boundaries you have set.

In some cases, seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist may be beneficial. A therapist can help you both work through your feelings and emotions and develop a plan to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

It is essential to approach the situation with patience, understanding, and open communication to ensure that you can navigate this difficult time and move forward in a positive direction.

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Dr Ashish Sehgal |97 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Question by Rajan - Apr 13, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi i am 34 old guy well settled i married a girl who cheated me and left me after a month only .After talking a year i got married but she left me in a sec ,feels very cheated .Now talks are getting on to get settlement done .She is just after money money property even after knowing this i still love her a lot .I cry alot for her may be she is practical and cheater and i am not . Marriage for me was something which is to be done once in a life will get over after over dead only but really not able to over come i think 24/7 about her only . Despite knowing everything my minds think about her .I have done alot of things to be busy but I can't concentrate on my life

Ans: It's understandable that you are feeling hurt and betrayed after being left by someone you loved and trusted. It's important to remember that healing from this kind of emotional pain takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space and time you need to work through your emotions.

One thing you could do is to focus on your own well-being and self-care. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment, such as hobbies or exercise. You could also consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

It's also important to consider the practical aspects of the situation, such as the settlement. It can be helpful to work with a legal professional who can help you navigate the process and ensure that your rights and interests are protected.

When it comes to your feelings for your ex-partner, it's important to recognize that these feelings may take time to fade. However, it's also important to remember that your well-being and happiness should always come first. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship did not work out and to focus on the future possibilities for happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what steps you need to take to move forward and heal from this experience. Remember to be gentle with yourself, take things one step at a time, and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2024Hindi

Money

Hello, Hope you're doing good! I am 32 yrs old and planning to invest till 60 yrs i.e till next 28 yrs. I am investing in below MFs and some other savings schemes, I need you suggestion on the same: MFs Investment: 1. ICICI Prudential Nifty Alpha Low Volatility 30 ETF FOF - 1,500/- PM 2. Tata Resource & Energy Fund - 2,000/- PM 3. ICICI Prudential Technology - 1,500/- 4. Nippon India Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 5. SBI Nifty Next 50 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 6. ICICI Prudential Nasdaq 100 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 7. ICICI Prudential Nifty Bank Index Fund - 2,000/- PM Apart from this I am also investing in NPS around 17,500/- PM and PF around 30,500 including both. Also investing 5,000/- in Max Life Online Savings Plan (10 yrs investing period and 15 Yrs total Policy period). My goal is to be accumulate wealth for my retirement. Thank you in advance for your help.

Ans: Your investment approach reflects a thoughtful strategy aimed at building long-term wealth for your retirement. Diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes, including equity mutual funds, index funds, and savings schemes like NPS and PF, is a wise move.

Maintaining a disciplined investment habit and staying committed to your financial goals over the next 28 years will be crucial. Regularly reviewing your portfolio's performance and adjusting it as needed to stay aligned with your objectives is essential.

Remember, the journey to retirement wealth accumulation is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay patient, stay focused, and trust in the power of compounding to grow your investments steadily over time.

By diligently contributing to your investment portfolio and making informed decisions, you're laying a solid foundation for a financially secure and fulfilling retirement. Keep up the good work, and your future self will thank you for it.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi, I plan to invest in the following funds for 2 years through SIP from April 24. Investment holding time frame is 15 years. Nipon India Small Cap (10K); HDFC Small Cap (10K); HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities Fund (7.5K); Motilal Oswal Nifty Mid Cap 150 Index Fund (7.5K); Mirae Assets Large & Mid Cap (5K); ICICI Pru Value Discovery (10K). All funds selected are of Growth option and Direct investment option. Requesting your expert comments in the fund selection/ amount allocation. Thanks.

Ans: Your investment plan demonstrates a well-diversified portfolio across different market segments, reflecting a prudent approach to long-term wealth creation. By allocating funds to both small and mid-cap, as well as large-cap categories, you're spreading your risk while tapping into growth opportunities across the market spectrum.

It's essential to maintain a balanced allocation and periodically review your portfolio's performance to ensure alignment with your long-term goals. Additionally, consider factors such as market conditions, economic trends, and fund manager track records when evaluating your investments.

Remember, investing is a journey, and staying disciplined during market fluctuations is key to achieving your financial objectives. With a strategic asset allocation and a patient mindset, you're poised to navigate the ups and downs of the market and potentially achieve your wealth accumulation goals over the long term.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi i am 49 and currently have a total corpus of approx 2.5 crs ( 1cr in MF/50 lacs in stocks/ another 80-90 lacs in PF/ EPF/ NPS and some other instruments.i am planning to retire in 13 years i.e at 62 . i will be able to accumulate another 5 cr approx more till then and with the current portfolio and interests of those looking at 10 cr of corpus then . will it be sufficient for my 15- 17 years of life after that looking at 3-4 lakhs montly expenses then

Ans: With a planned retirement in 13 years and an estimated total corpus of around 7.5 crores, your goal of achieving a corpus of 10 crores by retirement seems achievable. However, it's essential to conduct a detailed analysis to ensure financial sustainability for the subsequent 15-17 years.

Consider the following factors:

Inflation: Account for inflation in your expense calculations to maintain the purchasing power of your corpus over time.
Investment Returns: Assess the expected returns from your current investments and future contributions to meet your target corpus.
Expenses: Review your anticipated expenses post-retirement, including healthcare, travel, and other lifestyle needs.
Contingency Planning: Build a buffer for unforeseen expenses or emergencies to safeguard your retirement corpus.
Regular Review: Periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust your investment strategy if needed to stay on track towards your retirement goals.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and retirement aspirations. With careful planning and prudent management, you can aim for financial security and peace of mind in your retirement years.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi

Money

Could you please advise how much monthly SIP should be invested to reach a goal of 50 Lacs in 3 years, consider moderate to high risk investment options in MF and pls advise the preferred portfolio

Ans: Achieving a goal of 50 lakhs in 3 years through mutual fund SIPs entails aggressive investing due to the relatively short time horizon. Given the moderate to high risk appetite, here's a suggested approach:

Large & Mid Cap Funds: Allocate around 40-50% of your SIP amount to large & mid-cap funds. These funds invest in a mix of large and mid-sized companies, offering growth potential with relatively lower risk compared to small caps.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: Dedicate around 30-40% of your SIP to mid & small-cap funds for higher growth potential. These funds invest in mid and small-sized companies, which can be volatile but offer the potential for significant returns.
Multi Cap Funds: Allocate the remaining 10-20% to multi-cap funds for diversification across market capitalizations. Multi-cap funds invest in companies across market segments, providing flexibility to capitalize on emerging opportunities.
Considering the aggressive approach and relatively short timeframe, you may need to invest a significant amount monthly. However, it's crucial to assess your risk tolerance and financial capacity before committing to higher SIP amounts. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help tailor the portfolio and SIP amount to your specific goals and risk profile.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Question by Rahul - May 01, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi i am 40 yrs of age and want to start with SIP of 15 k can you please suggest combination of some MFs.

Ans: Starting a SIP with a monthly investment of 15k is a commendable step towards building wealth over time. Here's a suggested combination of mutual funds across different categories to consider:

Large Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, established companies with a track record of stable growth. They offer stability to your portfolio.
Mid Cap Funds: Mid-cap funds invest in stocks of medium-sized companies with high growth potential. They can provide an opportunity for higher returns over the long term.
Flexi Cap Funds: Flexi cap funds have the flexibility to invest across companies of various market capitalizations, offering a well-diversified portfolio.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically manage asset allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions, offering a balanced approach to investing.
By diversifying across these categories, you can create a well-rounded portfolio that balances growth potential with risk management. Remember to choose funds based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help tailor the portfolio to your specific needs and circumstances. Happy investing!

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi all, I have a daughter and son with age 7 years . For daughter i am investing in SSY but what is the best plan for boy . Could you suggest any monthly plan for him

Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards securing your children's future. For your son, you have various investment options to consider.

One popular choice is to start a systematic investment plan (SIP) in mutual funds. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds, providing the potential for long-term wealth creation. You can choose equity-oriented mutual funds for higher growth potential, considering the long investment horizon for your son.

Additionally, you may explore options like recurring deposits or fixed deposits in banks for a more conservative approach. These options provide stable returns over time, albeit generally lower than equity investments.

Before making any decisions, consider factors such as your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals for your son's future. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

Remember, starting early and staying consistent with investments can go a long way in helping your son achieve his dreams and aspirations.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

Money

Hello sir, I am a 38 yr old female. I have a homeloan of 40lakhs, EMI for Rs 32000 pm. I have a 7yr old son. My monthly income is 1 lakh in hand. How much SIP should i do to repay homelone in 10yrs and create a retirement corpus of Rs 2cr plus my son's education. Pls suggest.

Ans: Your determination to secure your financial future while balancing your responsibilities is truly admirable. To achieve your goals of repaying your home loan in 10 years and building a retirement corpus of Rs 2 crore, strategic planning is key.

Considering your monthly income and existing EMI, it's important to strike a balance between loan repayment and investing for your future. A Certified Financial Planner can help you create a personalized financial plan that factors in your income, expenses, and investment goals.

By allocating a portion of your monthly income towards SIPs in mutual funds, you can gradually build a corpus for both loan repayment and retirement. Your commitment to regular investing, coupled with disciplined spending habits, will set you on the path to financial freedom and security.

Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. Stay patient, stay focused, and trust the process. With determination and the right guidance, you'll inch closer to your financial aspirations one step at a time.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

Money

I'm 48 year old and a housewife. My husband is 52 and working in a restaurant with a salary of 24k p.m. I'm looking into investing with whatever remains out of this salary, approx. 5k (my daughter who is 22 year old is contributing a part of her income for household expenses). Please advise the best schemes/ MFs that we can invest into and also advise the procedure to MF as we have no knowledge about it. Also if my daughter can invest approx 5k-8k, what are the best plans for her to invest in SIP. Please advise. Thankyou.

Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards investing and securing your family's financial future. Investing in mutual funds through SIPs can be a great way to start building wealth gradually over time.

For you and your husband, consider starting with SIPs in diversified equity funds or balanced funds that suit your risk appetite and investment goals. As beginners, it's crucial to choose schemes with a track record of consistent performance and managed by reputable fund houses.

For your daughter, she can also opt for SIPs in equity funds aligned with her risk tolerance and long-term financial objectives. Encouraging her to start investing early can help her harness the power of compounding and achieve her financial goals.

To start investing in mutual funds, you can approach a Certified Financial Planner or a mutual fund distributor who can guide you through the process, help you select suitable funds, and assist with the necessary paperwork.

Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to stay disciplined, patient, and well-informed along the way. With dedication and the right guidance, you can pave the way towards a financially secure future for your family.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Question by Ganesh - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi, I have booked a flat in 2021, it is still under construction and will be handed over by March 2025. I took home loan from ICICI bank for this. But interest rate is high and I am getting much better offers from other banks. Want to know what will happen to PMAY subsidy if I transfer the loan now. First 3 steps were completed by ICICI, it is pending for approval now. Please help.

Ans: Navigating home loan transfers can be a daunting task, especially when considering the implications on schemes like PMAY subsidy. While seeking a better interest rate is understandable, it's essential to weigh the potential impact on existing benefits.

Transferring your home loan may affect your eligibility for PMAY subsidy, as the scheme's guidelines may vary depending on the lender and the stage of loan processing. It's crucial to carefully review the terms and conditions of your loan agreement and consult with your lender to understand the implications of transferring the loan.

While seeking financial advantages is prudent, ensuring the continuity of benefits like PMAY subsidy can significantly impact your overall cost of homeownership. Consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to explore all options and make an informed decision that aligns with your financial goals and priorities. Remember, patience and thorough research are key to making the right choice for your financial future.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |1221 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Question by guna - Apr 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi sir im guna 26/m last 1year im investing in mutual funds started at 5k per month and now im at 20 k in these funds Parag parik flexi cap 1000 Nippon small cap 500 SBI small cap 500 PGIM mid cap 1000 SBI contra 500 Quant ELSS & Mirae asset ELSS each 1000 Nippon index fund mix of Large,Mid,and small cap 15,000 Lumsum investment 50,000 In HDFC nifty 50 index fund Im planning for long horizon of 15 to 20 years

Ans: Your commitment to long-term investing is commendable and reflects a forward-thinking approach to securing your financial future. By starting early and diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes and fund categories, you're laying a solid foundation for wealth creation over the next 15 to 20 years.

Remember, investing is a journey, not a sprint. Stay patient and disciplined, and resist the temptation to make impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Instead, focus on the underlying fundamentals of your investments and the power of compounding to grow your wealth over time.

As you navigate the ups and downs of the market, continue to educate yourself, stay informed about economic trends, and periodically review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your long-term goals.

With perseverance, prudent decision-making, and a well-diversified portfolio, you're well-positioned to achieve your financial aspirations and build a brighter future for yourself. Keep up the good work!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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