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Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 01, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 40 year married man with 2 kids. I have been in talking with a married lady since 2014. We both love each other. Now she is divorced. I am in dilemma what to do. I can't leave my wife also. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Become real about this. Sometimes, realism saves us a lot of trouble that we face from riding emotions that sway us from one pole to the other.
You are in a dilemma as you have allowed yourself to have feelings for another person while you knew all along that you have a wife. Now, is it wrong to have feelings for someone else? NO, but you do not have to act on it. That is a choice that you make. Since, it has progressed into Love, you feel torn between both of them which is very straining.
Let the lady bounce back first...sort her life out...a divorce is not easy on a man or a woman...allow her time to become strong and do not allow her to lean onto for emotional support beyond what a friend will. This will give lead to her expecting more from you which you will not be able to fulfil as you mentioned: I can't leave my wife also.
Bring the relationship to a place where the two of you are friends who care and support one another without any expectations. This will be a healthy space to be in and allow her to explore her life after the divorce and also keep your family life intact. Difficult as it sounds, it is possible provided you make that choice...

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu! I am 46 yrs old. I am married and have two daughters. I fell in love with a woman of 3-4 yrs younger to me, around 8 yrs ago. She was not happy with her marriage and she took divorce as I helped her to come over her trauma. It was very fine relationship between both of us. Now she is asking me to give divorce to my wife and to get marry with her. I really love my wife and her also, b'coz she also loves me so much and so do I. What to do now as my wife doesn't want to accept her and neither she wants to accept my wife.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No man would want to be where you are; seriously!
Now, how you got yourself in this mess is anybody's guess...but for the sake of your family (things are going well for you), make a decision that works best for everyone; at least in the long term. (It is ethically not right for me to make a decision for you).

It maybe unfair to either of the women and you are going to have to bear the consequences...
Now, I am not judging you or what you have done but you obviously knew all along that being in love with the other lady was a choice...also, now the expectation that she has from you is something that is uncomfortable to you.
Did she ever get this message from you that if she divorced her husband, that you will also divorce your wife and join her?
More than love, this has become neediness with demands...

Bottom line: Make a decision, stick by it and also help either of them tide over this! You owe them both that!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Career Counsellor - Answered on May 05, 2026

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Dear Sir, My son rank is 41000 in jee mains and DA-IICT has launched two BS - MS Dual program in IT and second in AI and Data science. What are chances to get this course ? What is the scope of this course? In can see now in job portals trend is changing and companies only ask for Bachelors/Master degree and need to focus on skills. Is it a good option?
Ans: Sachin Sir, At a CRL rank of 41,000, securing a seat in DA-IICT’s regular B.Tech programs is unlikely, as recent closing ranks for ICT, MnC, and VLSI are much higher. However, the institute’s newly launched 5-year BS–MS Dual Degree programs in IT and Data Science & AI offer a more realistic alternative. These programs admit students based on JEE Main Mathematics percentile or CUET scores, not overall CRL, and since 2026 is their first admission cycle, competition may be less intense.

This 5-year, 200-credit curriculum is ideal if your son is passionate about coding, AI, data science, cybersecurity, or research-oriented tech careers—provided the fee structure and longer commitment are manageable. It’s also wise to keep several reliable backup options rather than relying solely on DA-IICT.

Ultimately, success depends less on the degree and more on how your son invests his time: honing technical and communication skills, building a professional profile through projects/internships, networking with alumni and industry experts, maintaining visibility on platforms like LinkedIn, and developing emotional intelligence to confidently navigate his career path. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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