Trapped in Toxic Marriage: Seeking Advice to Break Free

Hello sir, I am 52 years handicapped with a good govt. job. I have been married for 27 years now. My son also married recently and he is in USA. I dont know where to start. Mine was arranged marriage. But my husband and his family cheated us regarding his job. He was jobless after our marriage. I had a son in the first year of our marriage. I stayed with him for only 2 months then I was send to my fathers house for delivery. He never visited me during this time nor he had called me. As he was jobless, I tried hard to build my carrier for sake of my son. I had managed all these years financially. I never received any financial support or emotional support from him past 27 years. We had fought badly accusing each. He will physically abuse me every time. He is addicted to alcohol and watching prone movies. My son once saw his mssg to call girls and other such women in his mobile. I was shocked too. Later I discovered he had many such connections. He had been spending his merger salary for all this self enjoyment and never shared anything for HL or son education. However, I had stayed with him for social security and status. Now I have completed all my duties. My son is safe and far from him. Even after my sons marriage, he behaved violently after consuming alcohol. I am really fed up with him. I have my income and properties. But I have no one to share my emotions as my son also has left and busy with his life in USA. I don't need any physical needs but need emotional support for rest of my life. I am in total depression for all I have undergone for 27 years. I currently having my father who is 80 years with me in the house. My husbands behaviour towards my father is very bad. Now my fathers health is getting affected because of my husbands shouting. I have no other friends or relations to relate to. My health also is getting slowly affected and I my mobility is very much restricted. Sometimes I was having succidal ideas. I have no life goals now. I have achieved all my goals. I have completed all my duties now. What should I do now?

Hey, I am married it's been 12 years, I have a 11 years boy. I did my masters before marriage I worked as teacher. I told my husband as well I want to work he said I can work with him in this college where he is also working. When I got married he said my degree is not eligible to work in this college that was geniune they need btech I am Bsc. So I asked I can work in other place and he said I can't. I tried hard but the answer was not all the time. I started with online classes basically working from home and I did it for 10 years. Now why I am so desperate to work? He never pays me anything he never buys anything whenever I ask he says you or your parents did give anything to me so I have nothing to give you. When this alliance came to me we asked them very clearly if they are expecting dowry. They clearly said they don't and that's the reason I married him. I am from a middle class family, and I was brought up like a happy kid. Here in my in laws home my mil drinks alcohol daily and uses very bad words. I adjusted and we shifted to other city for my husband job. Even my husband used to drink and confronted him and he reduced it mostly. Recently due to health issues he completely quit alcohol which was a god's grace. He has some medical condition where he is not actively participating in physical intimacy. He is very close to our son. They both love each other like anything. Seeing this I take every shot he gives me. But I think I am broken I wanted to fix it now I found a job and going my husband is behaving like I murdered someone and not talking and doing drama. Treats me like a maid and say do this house chores properly you can think about job later. I am a very enthusiastic person who wanted to learn now I told him very clearly that if he wants me quit job he needs to pay me. He refused and said if your can bring money from your home I will pay. I said why would I bring money and give him? So he behaves very weird and sadistic like he never wants me leave house, not atleast without telling him. He hide bike keys when he comes to some city so that I can't go anywhere. When I was working online he used to come to lunch I kept everything ready on table for him and continuing my work if I forget to keep water on table he was furious and say I should concentrate on this instead of my job when I forget something to keep he disconnects the modem and hide it so that I can't work. I am fed up and I can't hold this anymore where I am not being respected, not given financial support, no sex, no good talk, only expect to make perfect coffee, lunch ,dinner and take care of home with no dirt atall. I told him I will file divorce now he asks for forgiveness and this happened many time everytime I say I will leave he will behave like a kid even touching my feet. I am doing psychology which is one of my dream he is against that as well but now when I reading I think he is very manipulative psychopath. My boy I very much into him. I am doing my job right now. We have no vacations no outing nothing. He doesn't want to spend a penny on us. I take my boy put he doesn't accompany us. He doesn't like outings he say. What should I do? I can't leave as my boy can't get seperated. I can't live with him coz I have nothing in this relationship just explotation. He will not let me leave coz he knows he cannot live without us. And no one care about him. How to deal with him to make home happy atleast to my boy coz his toxic nature like manipulation and threatening blackmailing is effecting me and my boy I don't want my boy to go through this or learn this from him atleast. He needs to know how to treat a wife the way his father treat is not right I want to grow him into a nice gentleman not like this father. What can I do for this?

Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.

Dear Anu Krishna, I've been married to a person who has never valued nor cared about me for last 30 years. But I've never ever considered to rethink as I'm hailing from a conservative family. Not even when my husband had both his kidneys damaged n after a period of around 3 years serious medical treatment from various hospitals n various other kind of places then subsequent dialysis thrice a week for almost 3 years then his major transplant surgery then his vigilant care , which is very very important in this case .All this period starting from my marriage of 30+ years , I kept doing everything for him when only my school going 2 sons were there to support him along with my 90 yrs old mother in law ,who was bed ridden ( & could only manage to walk upto her washroom). I managed it all successfully n financial burden was taken care of by my company ( I've been managing everything along with my PSU job) .With the grace of God ????,my husband got all right n started with his business again n slowly got over everything along with her lady partner in business. Problem arises when again he started behaving in the same way as prior to his kidneys issues ( scolding me every now n then, belittling me in everything I do that too before neighbours or before the maids even ) . Now once when he abused my late parents n myself around last year (4th May '23) . I just couldn't take it anymore n started thinking what should I do now when my mother had expired just 2 years back n whom I was very close to . Going to live with my married brothers was also not a good option. So at once I decided that since my both sons are settled well now ( both are engineers from reputed institutes but not married yet) , so I'll take a room now n live in that n can take care of myself as I'm still working n since he always warns me of leaving his house ) It happened when around 16th of May , someone from UK ( a British citizen working at a respectable position) as shown in his Linkedin profile contacted me as business lead ( I had just put my first post on 13th May around Mother's day), though later I realised was interested to know about me rather. Immediately I stopped responding to him . Then later when he pursued, I clarified everything to him that I:m a married woman with two sons telling everything about me. Though there must be some confusion as when I told him that my husband was having kidney issues n he is now on life long medicines) I don't know what he could understand with that he kept on pursuing me ( thinking my husband is my ex now) but I think I had also stated having feelings for him n couldn't tell him the truth till now. Though he is more than ready to accept my kids happily as I too loved his 13 year old sweet daughter .( His wife has expired in a brief illness during COVID 3 years back).To my disbelief, inspite of not even meeting once in person, just by chatting n pics exchange, we seem quite similar n have come quite closer emotionally. Now please suggest in this situation,what should I do now?