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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
EJ Question by EJ on Oct 04, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, I'm studying BTech final year. My love and I were in a relationship since 5 years. Things were fine till our diploma.
I got a seat in another college which was far from our place. At the same time, he moved to his hometown for house construction. There he met a girl. She is 34.
He used to talk a lot to her and got attached to her. He tells everything to me. He even said that people were spreading wrong rumours about them.
I told him to stay away till things got better. Since then he has stopped telling me much.
There was a recent fight in his hometown relating to both of them which annoyed him. He continues to say there is nothing wrong between both of us.
He used to love me a lot. Whenever I felt insecure or if there was any mood swings he used to make me calm and relaxed.
Now-a-days he always tells me ‘Wait. Don't call me.’ If I call him more, he just scolds me.

There are no sweet talks or setting time aside for a call, and all. He even says ‘I promised that I'll be with her at any time in any problem and now because everyone is spreading rumours I can't break my promise to her.’
What about me? Didn't you promise to make me happy? I feel betrayed.
I got angry and told him that my parents are seeing matches for me.
His reply shook me. He said: 'Go, get married.’
I was like ‘you aren't the same.’
I don't understand what to do or how to set things right.
My mental health is getting worse.

Ans:

Dear S,

Your letter is very confusing to me.

I hope your post is genuine and not just to have fun…despite that I will consider it real and try to suggest what I can though I find your facts very contradictory.

Keeping the age factor aside, what I can say is: if someone does not treat you well, what’s the point waiting for that person?

If he isn’t interested in you, why are you chasing him?

Please make your world better by being around people who respect and value you and watch how beautiful it all becomes rather than searching and begging for love. He clearly isn’t into you anymore. So, move on…

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Relationship
Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My boyfriend of last 2.5 years who is 25 years old and has a 11 years age gap with me has decided to get married to someone else as per families choice. I am writing to understand few things: we started of casually where i proposed to him. He initially hesitated and after thinking for few days, also wanted to start the relationship. Later time went by we became involved at deeper levels. We spent majority of the times together, have shared goals, we lookout for each other. He doesn't state his feelings very often. He takes care, enjoys spending time, we planned tris together, we know our families but not that we are involved. He takes care of many things and it was almost like a live-in. Now and then he used to come up and tell we should stop, I'll be like give us time when rhe thing about marriage comes we will see. Now the thing is initially when he wanted to leave he was telling we are like Radha and Krishna, now when i am standing my ground that i can't see him with another girl, he is telling i was never in love with you. He never tells i love you and i have accepted it that way. Now he is telling me that it was my thoughts that we are in love but he was never in love. Im a person well established in my field and holding 3 degrees , pursuing further Higher Education. He needed me during his studies, ive told it to him multiple times that you needed me when you had work. Ive inspired him to do things he never thought of. But now it is firing back. I was a mentor, a friend, a girlfriend, a cook, an everything. Where did i go wrong to think that it is love? What do i do? I feel jealous to see him with anyone. Please guide
Ans: His sudden change in behavior—claiming he was never in love—seems like a way to distance himself emotionally because of family pressure. It doesn’t mean you were wrong in your feelings; it shows he might have been conflicted all along.

Seeing him with someone else hurts, and that’s natural. You’ve given so much of yourself, and it’s hard to accept that it wasn’t reciprocated in the way you hoped. Right now, focus on healing and remember that you deserve someone who values you fully. Take the time you need to process this, and know that you didn’t do anything wrong. This is more about his struggles than anything you did.

Moving forward, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being. This situation may require some time to process and heal from, and it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor who can help you navigate these emotions and start focusing on your own needs and future.

In time, you might come to realize that this relationship, while significant, wasn’t the only path to happiness and fulfillment. You deserve a partner who reciprocates your love, acknowledges your worth, and is willing to build a future with you. For now, give yourself permission to grieve, but also start thinking about how you can rebuild your sense of self and eventually open up to new possibilities in your life.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Dear Sir/Madam, I am considering investing in a commercial property located approximately 3-5 kilometers from the upcoming Navi Mumbai International Airport. I have identified a few commercial areas priced around Rs. 40 lakhs, offering a carpet area between 100-200 square feet. The anticipated average monthly rental yield is approximately Rs. 15,000. I plan to invest Rs. 25 lakhs of my own funds and would like to secure a bank loan for the remaining Rs. 15 lakhs. Currently, I have no existing loan liabilities and am employed in a salaried position. However, I am uncertain if this is a wise investment decision, especially since my bank EMI would exceed the expected monthly rental yield, and I may face additional expenses related to the property purchase. I would greatly appreciate your guidance on this matter. Thank you in advance for your assistance.
Ans: You have rightly thought about growing your wealth.

Investing with careful assessment is always a smart and disciplined move.

You are trying to create an extra income source, which is a wonderful financial habit.

However, your current investment plan needs careful re-evaluation.

Your concern about EMI being higher than rent is very valid.

You are already spotting possible cash flow risks at an early stage.

That shows your awareness and maturity towards financial planning.

Three cheers for this clarity at the beginning itself.

Analysis of Your Commercial Property Plan

Property near a new airport can seem attractive to many investors.

However, real estate investments have hidden risks and complexities.

Your rental yield expected is Rs. 15,000 per month.

But your EMI for Rs. 15 lakh loan will be higher than Rs. 15,000.

Thus, there will be a cash shortfall every month.

Also, maintenance charges, property taxes, brokerage fees will further eat into returns.

Finding a tenant immediately after purchase is also not guaranteed.

There could be long vacancy periods with no rent income.

Repairs, legal paperwork, society charges will cause unexpected additional expenses.

If tenant defaults, the recovery process is complicated and stressful.

Selling commercial property in future can also take a lot of time.

Real estate resale value depends on market cycles, which are not predictable.

Commercial spaces sometimes stay unsold or unrented for many months.

Hence, your investment capital will be locked and liquidity will become poor.

You will not be able to exit easily during an emergency.

Further, real estate price growth is slow and sometimes stagnant.

Even in prime locations, commercial properties carry such risks.

Thus, it is not ideal for generating safe monthly income.

Assessing Your Monthly Cash Flow Stability

You are a salaried person without any loan burden now.

Taking a new loan when EMI exceeds income from asset is risky.

It can cause high financial stress if job loss or salary cut happens.

Debt without guaranteed cash inflow weakens your financial strength.

Financial freedom comes by reducing liabilities, not by increasing EMIs unnecessarily.

Right now, you should focus on strengthening your cash flow safety.

Ensure your investments earn stable and predictable income for you.

Avoid entering into investments where outflows are bigger than inflows.

A mismatch in cash flow can derail your future financial goals.

Alternative and Safer Investment Strategy

You have a wonderful opportunity to invest Rs. 40 lakh wisely.

Instead of commercial property, choose safer and smarter options.

Invest in a diversified portfolio of debt mutual funds and hybrid mutual funds.

Opt for regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner for guided support.

Debt mutual funds provide stable returns and monthly income through SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).

Hybrid mutual funds (Balanced Advantage Funds) can protect against inflation better.

Actively managed funds perform better than index funds in tough markets.

In index funds, you are tied to market ups and downs with no professional edge.

Hence, actively managed funds through a CFP offer better risk-managed growth.

Debt mutual funds taxation is reasonable under the new rules from April 2024.

Long-term capital gains are taxed as per income slab in debt funds.

For equity mutual funds, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5% now.

Overall, the post-tax returns in mutual funds are attractive compared to property rentals.

Also, mutual fund portfolios are far more liquid than real estate.

You can sell or redeem easily whenever needed without heavy expenses.

Emergency Fund Creation Should be Priority

Before thinking about monthly income investments, secure an emergency fund.

Park 6 to 12 months of your expenses in liquid mutual funds.

Liquid funds are safe, low-risk, and can be withdrawn anytime within 1-2 days.

Never depend only on salary or investment income without a backup emergency fund.

Emergency funds give huge mental peace and financial confidence.

Health and Life Insurance Check

Ensure you have adequate health insurance cover for you and your family.

Minimum Rs. 10-15 lakh health cover is recommended individually.

Without health cover, one hospitalization can destroy your savings.

Also, take a pure term life insurance cover if dependents exist.

Avoid ULIP and endowment policies for insurance, they are not cost effective.

Pure term plan provides large cover at low premium, ensuring financial protection.

Retirement Planning Should Also Be Balanced

While creating monthly income now, plan for future retirement too.

Allocate some portion to long-term equity mutual funds through SIP.

This ensures you beat inflation and create a good retirement corpus.

Today’s Rs. 15,000 monthly expenses will be Rs. 50,000 after 20 years.

Hence, balancing current income needs and future corpus building is very important.

Important Risks If You Invest in Property Now

Cash flow mismatch (EMI greater than rent)

Long periods of vacancy

High transaction cost in buying and selling property

Maintenance cost, repairs, tenant-related legal issues

Property market volatility and slow appreciation

Difficulty in exiting when urgently needed funds

Poor liquidity compared to mutual funds

Simple Action Plan for You Now

Do not invest in commercial property at this stage

Invest in diversified mutual funds portfolio (Debt + Hybrid funds)

Start SWP for monthly income after proper fund selection with CFP guidance

Build emergency fund in liquid mutual funds (Rs. 4 to 6 lakh)

Take health insurance and term insurance cover without delay

Keep small allocation for long-term SIPs for retirement corpus

Review portfolio every 6-12 months with a Certified Financial Planner

Finally

Your goal of building a stable monthly income is very good.

However, investing in commercial property near airport is risky and unsuitable now.

Focus on low-risk, liquid and inflation-beating mutual funds for regular income.

Have a well-rounded 360-degree financial plan covering income, emergency, insurance, and retirement.

Your financial journey will be much safer, stronger, and stress-free.

Right strategy today will help you achieve real financial freedom tomorrow.

You are already thinking smartly, now just align execution with a structured plan.

If you wish to reach out personally, you can connect through my website mentioned below.

This platform restricts direct personal contact sharing. Hope you understand.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Sir, I am an NRI (aus), 40 years old. I am aiming for 10cr in 10 years with 20L per year investment. I zeroed in the following, are they good? Assuming 15% growth per annum. Parag Parekh flexi cap direct Axis flexi cap direct g HDFC mid cap opportunities direct g SBI small cap fund direct g ICICI pru technology direct g.
Ans: You want to build Rs 10 crore in 10 years.

You plan to invest Rs 20 lakh per year.

Your target is very inspiring and focused.

You assume 15% growth per year from investments.

This ambition is achievable but needs careful planning and right execution.

At 40 years, you still have time, but need to be very disciplined.

It is good that you are thinking seriously about long-term wealth creation.

However, we need to assess the investment choices deeply.

Evaluation of Your Current Selection
You have selected 5 direct mutual fund schemes.

You selected flexi cap, mid cap, small cap and technology sector funds.

Your selection shows you are willing to take higher equity risk.

Still, few important points must be considered before proceeding.

I will explain the strengths and risks clearly below.

Problems with Direct Mutual Funds
Direct mutual funds are cheaper but not automatically better.

Without Certified Financial Planner guidance, wrong direct fund choices can happen.

Direct funds need constant monitoring and periodic rebalancing.

If you miss reviewing, risk will increase over years.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner + MFD gives full 360-degree service.

A regular plan managed through MFD with CFP ensures disciplined monitoring.

Professional rebalancing keeps your portfolio healthy against market ups and downs.

Saving 1% expense ratio is not useful if you lose 20% capital by wrong strategy.

Thus, direct funds are not recommended for serious wealth building goals like yours.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Although you have not mentioned Index funds, still important to highlight here.

Index funds blindly follow the market, they do not aim to beat it.

They invest even in poor companies just because they are in index.

No active decision-making to protect during market fall.

In India, actively managed funds have consistently outperformed index funds.

Index funds are good only in developed countries, not in India yet.

Thus, actively managed mutual funds are better for your 10 crore goal.

Analysis of Your Selected Categories
Now let's look at each category you have selected.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds are very versatile and flexible.

They invest across large, mid, and small cap companies.

They are core funds and suitable for long term investing.

Having two different flexi cap funds is slightly overlapping.

One good flexi cap fund is enough.

Select based on strong consistent performance under Certified Financial Planner guidance.

Mid Cap Fund
Mid caps offer higher growth potential compared to large caps.

They also carry higher volatility risk.

Mid cap exposure must be limited to 20-25% of portfolio.

Selection of quality midcap fund is critical.

Blind selection can backfire badly during market corrections.

Small Cap Fund
Small caps are even more volatile than mid caps.

They give high returns only when market is extremely strong.

In down markets, they can fall 60-70%.

Small cap exposure should not exceed 10-15% of total portfolio.

Handling small caps requires experienced monitoring.

Not suitable for very aggressive allocation unless monitored monthly by CFP.

Technology Sector Fund
Sector funds like technology funds are very risky.

If sector performs, gains will be big.

If sector underperforms, losses will be severe.

Sector exposure should be maximum 5-10% of your portfolio.

Technology sector is very cyclical and policy dependent.

Too much sector allocation can derail your 10 crore goal.

Ideal Structure for You
Now, based on your inputs, here is a better structure for you.

Again, no scheme names are suggested, as per your instruction.

Core Portfolio (65% to 70%)
One strong Flexi Cap fund (managed by good fund manager).

One Large and Mid Cap fund (balanced approach towards large caps and midcaps).

One Conservative Hybrid Equity Fund (for stability during market volatility).

Satellite Portfolio (30% to 35%)
One focused Mid Cap fund with proven track record.

One selected Small Cap fund but with strict monitoring.

Minimal sector exposure like Technology, not more than 5%.

Regular review of sector allocation every quarter.

Important Points to Consider
Maintain proper diversification across sectors and market caps.

Avoid duplication of same category funds.

Choose only consistent long-term performers.

Annual rebalancing is a must.

Review fund performance once in 6 months minimum.

Align investments based on market valuations with CFP guidance.

Managing Risk and Returns
When aiming for Rs 10 crore, managing risk is as important as earning returns.

Never keep 100% equity exposure throughout 10 years.

Move part of profits to safer instruments as you near 10 years.

Create an asset allocation roadmap now itself.

Follow the roadmap strictly under Certified Financial Planner supervision.

Use Systematic Transfer Plans (STPs) whenever shifting money between categories.

Inflation and Taxes
Inflation is your biggest enemy, bigger than taxes.

At 6% inflation, Rs 10 crore after 10 years will feel like Rs 5.5 crore today.

Thus, you must keep wealth creation target a little higher than 10 crore.

New MF Capital Gain Tax rules must be kept in mind:

Equity fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%.

Debt funds fully taxed as per your income slab.

Plan withdrawals carefully to minimise tax impact.

Importance of Certified Financial Planner Support
Since you are serious about wealth creation, professional support is very important.

A Certified Financial Planner will give you:

Proper asset allocation based on your risk capacity.

Right fund selection based on 360-degree analysis.

Regular portfolio review and timely rebalancing.

Tax efficient withdrawal planning.

Contingency planning in case of emergencies.

Alignment of investments with your long term goals.

Emotional discipline during market volatility.

Peace of mind that your future is well protected.

Final Insights
You have shown excellent clarity and commitment towards your financial goals.

However, building Rs 10 crore is a serious, full-time task needing expert care.

Your fund selection direction is good but needs fine-tuning for stability and efficiency.

Direct mutual funds without professional guidance can expose you to unnecessary risks.

Active management, regular reviews, dynamic rebalancing will increase your success chances.

Focus on wealth preservation as much as on wealth creation over next 10 years.

Please make sure your family is also aware of your plans and investments.

I sincerely appreciate your proactive and visionary thinking for your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |350 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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