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Ravi Mittal  |252 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 07, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2024Hindi

I'm Actually what happened was, I have my friend a week before, we had our great friendship for a couple of days, as cuz she is new in the hostel she don't know anyone so I'm her 1st friend, level of friendship is like she spends almost 16-17 hrs of the day with me like from morning 8 to night 1-2 pm She is sleeping or doing her stuffs all the time and I'm doing my online lectures and studying with her After a couple of days a guy, being jealous of me, tell her bad things about me (badbitching), Then she started GHOSTING me Now neither she came to talk to me nor i go Now I'm in dilemma whether i should go to talk to her or leave her Or should i tell my friend to talk to her Bcuz, i dont want to lose her Kindly help me to get out of the dillemaaaa????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are being ghosted by someone you thought was a friend. You have two options- one, you wait and watch if she comes around. Two, give one shot at having an open dialogue with her. You can directly ask her what has happened and if she mentions the things she heard about you, you can try and clear it up. Now, she might not want to speak to you owing to whatever it is that she heard. I suggest not trying to convince her because it is her choice and you should not be intruding. Moreover, a real friend would have asked you about the things she heard, instead of ghosting you. It is not on you to clear your name, especially when you have not done those things. Aim for better friendships instead of trying to fix the new ones that did not turn out the way you wanted them to.

Best wishes.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

I am 12th passed student and I had a bf around feb .Everything was perfectly fine in the starting but then somehow our talks got less and i asked him if everything was ok bcoz i felt strange whenever we talked through texts. He said he is tired and doesn't wanna talk and did not know what happened to him ... Plus exams were ongoing so I supported the way I can but i knew something was off ... As the time passed things got worse. I asked how much time u need to be urself .. u are going out with ur friends but don't wanna talk to me neither u asked how i am for past dew weeks or a month . In the last he said leave I am not good enough for you. Everything thing we talked was on snapchat app. I was so depressed plus my exam result were less then expected. I stopped using any social media.. There wasn't a single day i missed him or thought of seeing the snaps but somehow i made myself I understand that If u were imp he wouldn't talk about leaving...ig ... But still I do miss him when everything was started and ended by him... On 14th My frnd texted me asking abt my result and she said she will ask him aswell( she doesn't know abt us dating) ... And after a week i.e today i downloaded the app and i saw that he sent me snaps till 14th and they all were deleted and after that there was nothing. Somehow i feel that there must be some conversations between my frnd and him. But what i feel now is that i regret why i didn't saw his msgs when i missed him. It makes me feel regret and sad . Whenever i think about it i forget all that disrespect but at the same time something stops me . Idk what kind of feeling is this ... All ik that there was a little communication between us that was also gone ... I just wanna overcome but i cant . Its gonna be a month and these emotions are really making me feel depressed. I even start making scenarios and stories in my mind . Idk what is happening to me . Pls help me overcome this what should i do ?
Ans: Dear Radha,

I understand that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, but listen to me, this too shall pass. You won't feel this way three months from now. Six months from now, you will find it funny that you even felt this way once, and you might even regret focusing on your ex than your exams. Two years from now, you will even forget how you felt on this day; you will forget the sorrow, you will forget how lonely and helpless you felt. You will move on. Everyone does. Look at the bigger picture and these feelings that you are experiencing today will seem small.

Now, coming to how you can deal with it at present- focus on your studies; everything can wait, but your career won't. Hang out with your friends; tell them how you are feeling. Talking about pain is known to give some kind of relief. No one can take it from you, but having someone to listen to it can help. Focus on your health- mental and physical; workout a bit. It helps. And, in the end, let time do its magic.

P.S. If he says he's not good enough for you, believe it. You deserve better; even your ex thinks so. So why don't you?

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
Hi. I am Sumeet I am happily married. And love my wife and our two kids.I had a female friend in our engineering college I had crush on her and I have said her this. She is happily married and I am very happy for her. I was in touch with her but now some how our companies in which we work have joint ventures and we both are working on same project. Initially she was nice to me but one day, we had phot session and I decide to click one with her and I simply par her shoulder back and kept for photo click but she got too angry and I apologised to her for whole day. But then she did not talk properly henceforth. I felt I am molester and I visit psychiatrist they asked me to forget that incident and move. Now she does not talk with me nicely.i don't know what should I do.
Ans: It's understandable that this situation with your former college friend is causing you stress and confusion. However, it's important to acknowledge that touching someone without their consent, even if unintentional, is never acceptable. Even though you meant no harm, it's crucial to respect your friend's boundaries and understand her reaction.

Here are some suggestions for navigating this situation:

1. Respect your friend's boundaries: While your intentions might have been innocent, it's clear your friend felt uncomfortable with the physical contact. Respecting her boundaries and apologizing sincerely are crucial steps. It might be helpful to have a brief, direct conversation where you reiterate your apology and emphasize that you understand and respect her discomfort.

2. Maintain professionalism: Given that you're working on the same project, maintain a professional and respectful distance. Avoid initiating personal conversations or any physical contact. Focus on work-related communication and interactions.

3. Reflect on your actions: Consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist to explore your thought patterns and behaviors concerning personal boundaries. This can help you develop healthier ways to interact with others and avoid similar situations in the future.

4. Forgive yourself: Remember that while it's important to acknowledge and learn from your actions, dwelling on guilt won't be productive. Forgive yourself for the unintentional mistake and focus on moving forward with respect and understanding.

5. Focus on your marriage: Remember that you have a loving wife and family. Reinvest your energy into strengthening your relationships with them and prioritize their well-being.

..Read more


Kanchan Rai  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
Hi, Briefly, I am having problem with my sister. Actually She will supposed to be my sister-in-law but I consider her as my own sister. The problem is that, I and her elder sister, both don't like my sister's boyfriend. We have told her several times but she didn't listen to us or didn't answer to our questions. One day, I was trying to make her understand the problem about her boyfriend, before her elder sister on a video call. And like the other day, she didn't reply. After the call ended, She texted me, asking or more specifically chasing me about my faults in life. She is said that, "you always choose good surroundings but why don't you have any friend?" and "Where was your observation when your friends cheated on you!" I told her that we learn only by doing things and I have learnt that the boy is not suitable for you and that's why you should leave her. but she was going on with her argument and was hurting me a lot over chat. At last, I said to her, It was my fault to warn her, And told her not to call me 'DADA' again until she grows respects for me. After that day, she was gradually distancing from me! and 2 or 3 days after, her elder sister finds some bad things in her phone and repeatedly warn her to leave the boy otherwise he'll destroy her. and on that day, she broke up. but, she is still not talking with me! I have written poem for her and even told her SORRY and requested her to come back to me, I really love her as my sister. But, she is still not talking with me or angry with me! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!! I have loosen many in my life and It's like going to loose once again. I can do anything to make her happy or to accept me as his own elder brother again.....I really want to sort things out....
Ans: It sounds like you care deeply for your sister and want to protect her, which is understandable and comes from a place of love. But relationships, especially ones where emotions are involved, can be complex and sometimes require a delicate touch.

Right now, your sister might be feeling hurt and defensive. Even though your intentions were good, the way you and her elder sister approached the situation may have felt overwhelming or critical to her. When she lashed out, it was likely out of pain and feeling cornered.

Sometimes, people need time to process their feelings. Respect her need for space and give her some time to cool off and reflect. When you do reach out, acknowledge her feelings without defending your actions. Let her know that you understand why she felt hurt and that you’re sorry for the way things were handled. Make it clear that your concern came from a place of love and that you still see her as your sister. Assure her that your relationship with her is more important than any disagreement about her choices. Healing takes time. Keep the door open for her to come back to you when she’s ready. Sometimes, a little patience can do wonders.

Remember, what’s important now is rebuilding trust and showing her that you care for her unconditionally.

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
Is unrated safe to invest Sbi advantage Icici pru opportunities????
Ans: Unrated funds, like SBI Balanced Advantage and ICICI Pru Opportunities, lack official ratings from agencies. This doesn't necessarily mean they are bad options. It simply means they haven't been evaluated by rating agencies yet. This could be due to the funds being relatively new or less popular.

Risks and Considerations
Higher Risk
Unrated funds come with higher uncertainty. They do not have a track record to assess their performance and risk profile. This makes it challenging to predict their future performance.

Potential Rewards
Despite the higher risk, unrated funds can offer potential rewards. New funds often aim to attract investors by performing well initially. However, this is not guaranteed and requires careful consideration.

Investing in Funds with Better Track Records
Proven Performance
It is advisable to invest in funds with a proven track record. These funds have historical data showing how they perform in different market conditions. This provides more confidence in their future performance.

Stability and Reliability
Funds with better track records have demonstrated their ability to manage market volatility. They offer more stability and reliability, which is crucial for long-term investment goals.

Active vs. Index Funds
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market. Skilled fund managers make strategic decisions based on market conditions. This can lead to higher returns, especially in volatile markets.

Regular vs. Direct Funds
Advantages of Regular Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides professional guidance. CFPs help with fund selection and portfolio management. This ensures your investments align with your financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing in unrated funds like SBI Balanced Advantage and ICICI Pru Opportunities carries higher risk due to the lack of track record. It is generally safer to invest in funds with proven performance and a stable track record. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help you make informed decisions and build a diversified portfolio.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
I am 30, married 2 years back. I earn around 1.08 lacs and wife earns around 70k. House rent is 30k. Car rent is 18k pending for 4 years more.Have almost no savings just emergency fund of 3L. Invest only in MF 18k pm and LIC 5k per month. Give 30-40k to parents monthly. Possible to generate 2 cr in 15 years? If yes then pls suggest
Ans: Current Financial Situation

You and your wife have a combined monthly income of Rs. 1.78 lakhs. Your monthly expenses include house rent of Rs. 30,000 and car rent of Rs. 18,000 for the next four years. You have an emergency fund of Rs. 3 lakhs and invest Rs. 18,000 per month in mutual funds and Rs. 5,000 per month in LIC. Additionally, you provide Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 40,000 to your parents monthly.

Goal Assessment

You aim to generate Rs. 2 crores in 15 years. This is achievable with disciplined savings and strategic investments.

Income and Expenses Analysis

Your combined income is Rs. 1.78 lakhs per month. After deducting rent (Rs. 48,000) and parental support (Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 40,000), you have around Rs. 1 lakh left for other expenses, savings, and investments.

Current Investments

Mutual Funds: Rs. 18,000 per month
LIC: Rs. 5,000 per month
Investment Strategy Recommendations

Increase Monthly Savings

Try to increase your savings rate. Even a small increase in monthly savings can significantly impact your long-term goals.

Maximise Mutual Fund Investments

Continue with your mutual fund investments. Consider increasing the amount gradually. Mutual funds, especially equity funds, can offer higher returns over the long term.

Review LIC Policy

Review your LIC policy. If it is not yielding good returns, consider surrendering it. Reinvest the amount in mutual funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner before making any decisions.

Emergency Fund

Maintain your emergency fund. Ensure it covers 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be in a liquid or easily accessible account.

Debt Management

Car rent will continue for four more years. Once completed, redirect this amount to your savings and investments. Reducing debt will free up more funds for investments.

Retirement and Contingency Planning

Consider investing in a mix of equity and debt funds for a balanced portfolio. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to tailor this mix to your risk tolerance and goals.

Action Plan to Achieve Rs. 2 Crores

Increase Mutual Fund SIPs: Gradually increase your monthly SIPs in mutual funds. Aim to invest a higher portion of your surplus income.

Review Insurance Needs: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. Review and adjust your policies as needed.

Long-term Investments: Focus on long-term equity investments. These can provide higher returns compared to other instruments.

Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio: Regularly review your portfolio. Rebalance it to align with your financial goals and market conditions.

Lifestyle Adjustments

Control Discretionary Spending: Reduce unnecessary expenses. This will help you save more.

Joint Planning with Spouse: Work together with your spouse on financial planning. Joint efforts can amplify your savings and investments.

Final Insights

Achieving Rs. 2 crores in 15 years is possible. Increase your savings and strategic investments. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
I am 41 years old , with In-hand salary of 1.26L , Wife salary 79K , Home loan remaining 22 Laks for 11 years , Started Saving recently in Mutual Funds with Target of 40-50K investment per month , Invested 40K in HDFC small cap fund direct , Quant Focused 30K , Quant infrastructure 35K , quant small cap 60K , 50K in Quant ELss. Please suggest the Investment proportion and suggestive investment amount for comfortable retirement and Child Higher education
Ans: Overview of Current Financial Situation
You are 41 years old with an in-hand salary of Rs. 1.26 lakhs and your wife earns Rs. 79,000. You have a home loan balance of Rs. 22 lakhs for 11 years. You have recently started investing in mutual funds with a target of Rs. 40-50k per month. Your current investments are:

Rs. 40k in a small cap fund
Rs. 30k in a focused fund
Rs. 35k in an infrastructure fund
Rs. 60k in a small cap fund
Rs. 50k in an ELSS fund
Investment Proportion Analysis
Your portfolio is heavily skewed towards small cap and sector-specific funds. This strategy can be risky. Diversification is essential to balance risks and returns. Consider a mix of large cap, mid cap, and hybrid funds. This approach provides stability and growth.

Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can offer higher returns compared to index funds. Fund managers use expertise to navigate market conditions. This advantage can outweigh the typically higher expense ratios.

Regular vs Direct Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has benefits. CFPs offer professional advice, ongoing support, and portfolio adjustments. This guidance can help you achieve your financial goals effectively. Direct funds lack this personalized service and can be challenging to manage alone.

Suggested Investment Allocation
Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds provide stability. Allocate 25-30% of your monthly investment here. They are less volatile and offer steady returns over time.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds offer a balance between risk and return. Allocate 20-25% here. They have the potential for higher growth compared to large caps.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds
These funds combine equity and debt. They provide a cushion against market volatility. Allocate 15-20% of your investments in hybrid funds.

Small Cap and Sectoral Funds
Limit your exposure to small cap and sectoral funds to 20-25%. They can be volatile and should be balanced with more stable investments.

ELSS Funds
ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C. They also provide growth opportunities. Allocate 10-15% here, considering your tax-saving needs.

Monthly Investment Plan
Given your target of Rs. 40-50k per month, here is a suggested allocation:

Large Cap Funds: Rs. 10-12k
Mid Cap Funds: Rs. 8-10k
Balanced or Hybrid Funds: Rs. 6-8k
Small Cap and Sectoral Funds: Rs. 8-10k
ELSS Funds: Rs. 6-8k
Planning for Retirement and Child's Education
Retirement Planning
Estimate your retirement corpus based on your current lifestyle. Aim for a corpus that can sustain you comfortably. Consider inflation and rising expenses. Start a systematic investment plan (SIP) in diversified funds. Regular reviews with a CFP can keep your plan on track.

Child's Higher Education
Calculate the future cost of education. Consider inflation and rising fees. Start an SIP in diversified funds focused on education goals. ULIPs or other insurance-linked investments may not be ideal. Mutual funds offer better returns and flexibility.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is aggressive. Balancing it with large cap and hybrid funds will reduce risk. Investing regularly and reviewing your portfolio periodically is crucial. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice. This ensures your goals of comfortable retirement and child's education are met.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more


Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Hello Sir I am Naveen and i am 31 years old, I am planning to retire at the age of 50 with 5 Cr and monthly income 1 L My Investment is PPF 400000 ULIP 250000 FD 100000 EPF 300000 NPS 200000(every year 50000 ) Stock 800000 MF 700000 Child plan Own house, taken Health insurance 20 L and Term insurance 1 Cr . Please advise me how much i need to increase my investment for my better retirement
Ans: Assessment of Current Financial Situation

You have diversified your investments across various financial instruments. Your goal to retire at 50 with Rs. 5 crore and a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh is achievable with proper planning.

Current Investments

PPF: Rs. 4,00,000
ULIP: Rs. 2,50,000
FD: Rs. 1,00,000
EPF: Rs. 3,00,000
NPS: Rs. 2,00,000 (Rs. 50,000 yearly)
Stock: Rs. 8,00,000
Mutual Funds: Rs. 7,00,000
Child Plan: Amount not specified
Own House
Health Insurance: Rs. 20 lakh
Term Insurance: Rs. 1 crore
Financial Goals Analysis

Your goal requires disciplined saving and strategic investments. Let’s evaluate each aspect:

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a safe investment. It offers tax benefits and guaranteed returns. However, its limit restricts the amount you can invest yearly.

Unit Linked Insurance Plan (ULIP)

ULIP combines insurance and investment. It may not be the best for high returns. Consider reviewing its performance and charges.

Fixed Deposit (FD)

FDs provide security but lower returns. Inflation can erode their value. Consider keeping only a portion in FDs.

Employees' Provident Fund (EPF)

EPF is a stable option for long-term savings. It provides decent returns and tax benefits. Continue contributing.

National Pension System (NPS)

NPS is beneficial for retirement. It offers market-linked returns and tax benefits. Your current contribution of Rs. 50,000 yearly is good.

Stock Market

Stocks can yield high returns but come with risks. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Diversify to mitigate risks.

Mutual Funds

Mutual funds are good for wealth creation. Choose funds based on your risk appetite. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for advice on fund selection.

Child Plan

Ensure the plan meets your child’s future education needs. Evaluate its performance and adjust if necessary.

Health and Term Insurance

You have sufficient coverage. Ensure to review and increase if needed with inflation.

Additional Investment Recommendations

To achieve your retirement goal, you need to increase investments. Here’s how:

Increase Mutual Fund Investments

Mutual funds offer potential for high returns. Increase SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to choose the best funds.

Review and Adjust ULIP

Evaluate the charges and performance of ULIPs. If returns are low, consider surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for advice.

Maximize NPS Contributions

Increase your NPS contributions. It will enhance your retirement corpus and provide tax benefits.

Invest in Stocks Wisely

Continue investing in stocks. Diversify across sectors and regularly review. Stay updated with market trends.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund. Ensure it’s 6-12 months of your expenses. Park it in liquid funds for easy access.

Retirement Corpus Calculation

Without specific calculations, aim to increase your investments by 10-15% annually. This will help you reach your Rs. 5 crore goal.

Final Insights

Your current investment strategy is strong. However, regular review and adjustments are crucial. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. Stay disciplined and focused on your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,


...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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