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I'm 46 and aim to build 3-5 crore corpus for daughters. Is it achievable?

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 13, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Chandra Question by Chandra on Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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**Subject:** Request for Investment Review and Future Corpus Estimation Dear Mr.Sunil, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to review my current investment portfolio and seek your expert advice regarding the future growth potential, as I aim to build a corpus of at least INR 3 - 5 crores by the time my daughters turn 18 years old. Is this figure realizable? Here’s a breakdown of my current investments: 1. **Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Current value: INR 135,281 2. **Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 10,000 monthly - Current value: INR 210,164 3. **Quant Small Cap Fund (Direct Plan Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Just started; current value: INR 5,190 4. **ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 20,000 monthly - Current value: INR 583,113 5. **HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 503,604 6. **SBI Balanced Advantage Fund (Regular Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 321,491 7. **Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)** – INR 50,000 annually for my 9-year-old daughter - Current value: INR 565,805 (since 2016) 8. **Provident Fund (PF)** – Current balance: INR 10 lakh 9. **Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro ** – Started last year INR 150,000 to be paid for 5 years till 2027 10. SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar - Completed INR 500,000 Total Investment for 5 Years in 2024. From this year every financial year I plan to invest my working bonus of INR 3 Lacs to INR 5 Lacs every year as a bulk investment and diversify in different funds. I am 46 years old and plan to continue working and investing for another 5 to 6 years due to health reasons. My spouse is 37, and we have two daughters aged 9 and 5. My goal is to accumulate a corpus of at least INR 3 to 5 crores by the time my daughters reach 18 years of age. Based on my current investments, do you think this target is achievable within the given timeframe? I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or adjustments you might recommend to help reach this goal. Thank you for your guidance.

Ans: Yes your target is achievable in the given time frame.(13% conservative return assumed). I am sure you have planned for some regular income after you stop working(~6 years from now) to meet the regular expenses. Please make sure you have good family floater health insurance apart from employer's group health policy if any. Insurers typically insist 3-4 years of continuous coverage after which pre existing illnesses are covered. Consider investing in SSY in the name of second daughter if possible. As you approach your target move corpus away from equity MFs into liquid or ultra short duration debt funds.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

Happy Investing
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

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**Subject:** Request for Investment Review and Future Corpus Estimation Dear Mr.Ramalingam, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to review my current investment portfolio and seek your expert advice regarding the future growth potential, as I aim to build a corpus of at least INR 3 - 5 crores by the time my daughters turn 18 years old. Is this figure realizable? Here’s a breakdown of my current investments: 1. **Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Current value: INR 135,281 2. **Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 10,000 monthly - Current value: INR 210,164 3. **Quant Small Cap Fund (Direct Plan Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Just started; current value: INR 5,190 4. **ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 20,000 monthly - Current value: INR 583,113 5. **HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 503,604 6. **SBI Balanced Advantage Fund (Regular Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 321,491 7. **Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)** – INR 50,000 annually for my 9-year-old daughter - Current value: INR 565,805 (since 2016) 8. **Provident Fund (PF)** – Current balance: INR 10 lakh 9. **Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro ** – Started last year INR 150,000 to be paid for 5 years till 2027 10. SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar - Completed INR 500,000 Total Investment for 5 Years in 2024. From this year every financial year I plan to invest my working bonus of INR 3 Lacs to INR 5 Lacs every year as a bulk investment and diversify in different funds. I am 46 years old and plan to continue working and investing for another 5 to 6 years due to health reasons. My spouse is 37, and we have two daughters aged 9 and 5. My goal is to accumulate a corpus of at least INR 3 to 5 crores by the time my daughters reach 18 years of age. Based on my current investments, do you think this target is achievable within the given timeframe? I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or adjustments you might recommend to help reach this goal. Thank you for your guidance.
Ans: You’ve put together a well-diversified portfolio with a mix of equity and hybrid funds, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), Provident Fund (PF), and insurance-linked investments. Each of these investments serves a different purpose, and it’s clear that you have a strong focus on building wealth while securing your daughters' future.

Given that you plan to invest a significant portion of your bonus in the coming years, it’s important to assess whether your current strategy will meet your target corpus of Rs 3-5 crores when your daughters turn 18. Let’s evaluate your portfolio in detail.

Assessment of Equity Mutual Funds
Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund, Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund, Quant Small Cap Fund: These funds are growth-oriented with potential for substantial returns over the long term. Your monthly SIPs in these funds are well-placed, and their current values indicate a positive trend. However, as small-cap funds tend to be more volatile, it’s important to monitor them regularly and rebalance if necessary.

ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund, HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund, SBI Balanced Advantage Fund: These funds offer a balanced approach by investing in a mix of equity and debt. They are designed to manage volatility, making them a stable choice for medium-term goals. Your consistent investments in these funds are helping you build a solid foundation for your corpus.

Given that you are contributing significant amounts to Balanced Advantage Funds, this shows a prudent approach to managing risk while aiming for growth. However, it’s crucial to ensure that these funds align with your risk tolerance as you near retirement.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for Your Daughter
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Your annual contribution to SSY for your 9-year-old daughter is a wise choice. This scheme offers guaranteed returns and tax benefits, making it an excellent option for long-term, low-risk investment. With the current value of Rs 5,65,805, you are on track, but it's essential to continue this contribution until maturity to maximize the benefit for your daughter's higher education or marriage expenses.
Provident Fund (PF)
Provident Fund (PF): Your PF balance of Rs 10 lakh is a significant component of your retirement savings. The regular contributions and employer match provide a stable, low-risk return, which is crucial for wealth preservation. This fund will serve as a backbone for your retirement corpus.
Insurance-Linked Investments
Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro: Insurance-cum-investment products like these generally have lower returns compared to pure investment products like mutual funds. While they provide life cover, the investment returns may not be sufficient to meet your high-growth goals. You might want to evaluate the performance after the lock-in period and consider redirecting future premiums into mutual funds if the returns are unsatisfactory.

SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar: Having completed your investment in this child plan, it's time to assess its performance. If the returns are on the lower side, consider using the maturity proceeds to invest in a high-growth equity fund or balanced fund to further boost your corpus.

Planned Bulk Investments
Future Bulk Investments: Your plan to invest Rs 3-5 lakhs annually as a lump sum from your bonuses is a great strategy. However, it's essential to deploy this lump sum in a staggered manner, like a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP), to mitigate market volatility. You might consider adding these funds to existing high-performing equity funds or explore new opportunities in growth-oriented funds.
Future Growth Potential and Target Realization
Assessing the Achievability of Rs 3-5 Crore Corpus
Your goal of building a corpus of Rs 3-5 crores by the time your daughters turn 18 is ambitious but achievable. However, it will require careful planning and disciplined execution. Here are some key points to consider:

Time Horizon: With a 9-year and a 5-year time horizon, your portfolio should focus on growth-oriented investments in the earlier years, gradually shifting towards more stable, low-risk assets as you near the target date. This will help protect your accumulated wealth from market volatility.

Asset Allocation: Currently, you have a mix of equity and balanced funds. As your daughters approach 18, you might want to shift a portion of your equity investments into safer options like debt funds or fixed deposits to preserve the capital.

Inflation and Taxation: Consider the impact of inflation on your target corpus. What may seem like a large sum today may not have the same purchasing power in the future. Also, be mindful of the tax implications on your investments, particularly on the returns from mutual funds and insurance plans.

Suggestions for Portfolio Adjustments
Enhance Equity Exposure: While you have a good mix of funds, increasing your allocation to high-growth equity funds can help you reach the Rs 5 crore target. Consider redirecting the future premiums of your insurance plans or part of your Balanced Advantage Fund investments into aggressive equity funds.

Surrender Underperforming Insurance Plans: If your Tata AIA Life Insurance and SBI Child Plan do not meet expectations, consider surrendering them after evaluating the surrender value and investing the proceeds in higher-return options.

Regular Reviews and Rebalancing: The market environment and your personal circumstances may change over time. Regular reviews of your portfolio and timely rebalancing will help ensure that your investments remain aligned with your goals.

Avoid Over-Diversification: While diversification is important, too much of it can dilute returns. Focus on a few high-performing funds and avoid spreading your investments too thin.

Risk Management: As you approach the end of your working years, it’s crucial to reduce exposure to high-risk assets. Gradually move a portion of your investments into safer instruments like debt funds, bonds, or even a fixed deposit.

Final Insights
Your dedication to building a secure financial future for your daughters is commendable. With consistent and strategic investments, your target of Rs 3-5 crores is within reach. The key will be maintaining a disciplined approach, regularly reviewing your portfolio, and making necessary adjustments based on market conditions and life changes.

Remember to keep an eye on both growth and safety as you transition into retirement. By doing so, you can confidently achieve your financial goals and provide your daughters with a strong financial foundation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

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**Subject:** Request for Investment Review and Future Corpus Estimation Dear Mr.Vivek, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to review my current investment portfolio and seek your expert advice regarding the future growth potential, as I aim to build a corpus of at least INR 3 - 5 crores by the time my daughters turn 18 years old. Is this figure realizable? Here’s a breakdown of my current investments: 1. **Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Current value: INR 135,281 2. **Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 10,000 monthly - Current value: INR 210,164 3. **Quant Small Cap Fund (Direct Plan Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Just started; current value: INR 5,190 4. **ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 20,000 monthly - Current value: INR 583,113 5. **HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 503,604 6. **SBI Balanced Advantage Fund (Regular Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 321,491 7. **Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)** – INR 50,000 annually for my 9-year-old daughter - Current value: INR 565,805 (since 2016) 8. **Provident Fund (PF)** – Current balance: INR 10 lakh 9. **Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro ** – Started last year INR 150,000 to be paid for 5 years till 2027 10. SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar - Completed INR 500,000 Total Investment for 5 Years in 2024. From this year every financial year I plan to invest my working bonus of INR 3 Lacs to INR 5 Lacs every year as a bulk investment and diversify in different funds. I am 46 years old and plan to continue working and investing for another 5 to 6 years due to health reasons. My spouse is 37, and we have two daughters aged 9 and 5. My goal is to accumulate a corpus of at least INR 3 to 5 crores by the time my daughters reach 18 years of age. Based on my current investments, do you think this target is achievable within the given timeframe? I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or adjustments you might recommend to help reach this goal. Thank you for your guidance.
Ans: Yes your target is achievable in the given time frame.(13% return assumed) I am sure you have planned for some regular income after you stop working (~6 years from now) to meet the regular expenses. Plz. Make sure you have good family floater health insurance coverage apart from the employer's group health policy if any. Insurers typically insist 3-4 years of continuous coverage after which pre existing illnesses are covered. Consider investing in SSY in the name of second daughter, if possible. As you approach your target move corpus away from equity MFs into liquid or ultra short term debt funds.

*Investments in mutual funds are subjected to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

Happy Investing!!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 17, 2024

Money
**Subject:** Request for Investment Review and Future Corpus Estimation Dear Ms.Jinal, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to review my current investment portfolio and seek your expert advice regarding the future growth potential, as I aim to build a corpus of at least INR 3 - 5 crores by the time my daughters turn 18 years old. Is this figure realizable? Here’s a breakdown of my current investments: 1. **Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Current value: INR 135,281 2. **Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 10,000 monthly - Current value: INR 210,164 3. **Quant Small Cap Fund (Direct Plan Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Just started; current value: INR 5,190 4. **ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 20,000 monthly - Current value: INR 583,113 5. **HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 503,604 6. **SBI Balanced Advantage Fund (Regular Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 321,491 7. **Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)** – INR 50,000 annually for my 9-year-old daughter - Current value: INR 565,805 (since 2016) 8. **Provident Fund (PF)** – Current balance: INR 10 lakh 9. **Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro ** – Started last year INR 150,000 to be paid for 5 years till 2027 10. SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar - Completed INR 500,000 Total Investment for 5 Years in 2024. From this year every financial year I plan to invest my working bonus of INR 3 Lacs to INR 5 Lacs every year as a bulk investment and diversify in different funds. I am 46 years old and plan to continue working and investing for another 5 to 6 years due to health reasons. My spouse is 37, and we have two daughters aged 9 and 5. My goal is to accumulate a corpus of at least INR 3 to 5 crores by the time my daughters reach 18 years of age. Based on my current investments, do you think this target is achievable within the given timeframe? I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or adjustments you might recommend to help reach this goal. Thank you for your guidance.
Ans: Your goal of building a corpus of Rs 3 to 5 crores for your daughters by the time they reach 18 years of age is realistic, but it needs a detailed evaluation. Let's assess your existing portfolio and provide suggestions to help you reach your target.

You are currently 46, and your elder daughter is 9, giving you around 9 years to achieve your financial goal. Your current investments are diversified, but we’ll focus on optimising them for long-term growth and stability.

Current Investment Portfolio Breakdown
You have a balanced mix of equity mutual funds, debt-oriented instruments, and insurance. Each type of investment serves a purpose, but we’ll examine them to see if they align well with your goals.

Balanced Advantage Funds:

You are investing Rs 50,000 monthly into three balanced advantage funds. These funds are designed to switch between equity and debt, providing a mix of safety and growth. While these funds have performed decently in volatile markets, they may not offer the aggressive growth potential needed to meet your target of Rs 3 to 5 crores in a relatively short timeframe.

Consider reducing the allocation to balanced advantage funds. These funds offer stability but may not provide the aggressive growth you need at this stage of your financial journey.

Instead, consider moving a part of this allocation into funds with higher equity exposure, such as large-cap, multi-cap, or small-cap funds. These have the potential to generate higher returns over a 9-year horizon.

Small Cap and Mid Cap Funds:

You have a strong allocation to small-cap funds, which is a good strategy for long-term growth.

However, small-cap funds are known for their volatility. You should maintain a long-term perspective and not get disheartened by short-term fluctuations.

With a combined monthly SIP of Rs 15,000 in small-cap funds, you can expect higher growth if the market performs well over the next decade. Stick to this strategy but periodically review the performance.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY):

You are consistently investing Rs 50,000 annually in SSY for your 9-year-old daughter. This is a fantastic step for her future education and marriage needs, as SSY offers a high fixed interest rate with tax benefits.

Continue this investment, as it provides a solid foundation for your daughter’s future. The guaranteed returns, along with the tax-free nature, make it an excellent low-risk investment.

However, SSY alone won’t suffice for your Rs 3-5 crore target. Hence, relying on equity mutual funds will be essential for wealth creation.

Provident Fund (PF):

You have Rs 10 lakh invested in PF, which will grow at a stable, assured rate.

PF is a low-risk investment, but its growth potential is limited compared to equities. Since you are already contributing a significant amount here, you don’t need to increase this allocation.

The PF will add to your retirement security but won't contribute significantly to your Rs 3-5 crore target due to the conservative interest rate.

Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro and SBI Child Plan:

Insurance policies like Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro and SBI Child Plan serve a dual purpose—insurance and investment. However, these plans typically offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Since you have already paid a substantial amount into the SBI Child Plan and Tata AIA, it may be worthwhile to keep these policies until maturity. However, any additional bonus or lump-sum investments should be diverted into equity mutual funds rather than insurance-linked plans.

These investment-cum-insurance policies tend to have high fees and lower returns. If you’re considering any future insurance-linked investments, you should reconsider them in favour of pure term insurance and higher-yielding mutual funds.

Adjustments for Future Growth
Now that we’ve evaluated your existing investments, let’s discuss the adjustments that can help you reach your goal.

Increase Equity Exposure:

Equity mutual funds, particularly large-cap, multi-cap, and small-cap funds, have the potential to generate higher returns than balanced advantage funds or insurance policies.

You should increase your SIP contributions to pure equity funds. While balanced funds offer stability, pure equity funds provide better growth potential, which is necessary to reach Rs 3 to 5 crores in 9 years.

Allocate more to large-cap or multi-cap funds. These funds invest in stable, well-established companies, providing growth potential with comparatively lower risk than small-cap funds.

Diversify Your Bulk Investments:

You plan to invest Rs 3-5 lakh from your working bonus each year. This is an excellent strategy to accelerate your wealth-building process.

Consider investing your bonus in high-growth funds like mid-cap or flexi-cap funds. These funds allow the fund manager to invest across different market caps, offering the potential for better returns.

You may also consider investing a portion of the bonus in international mutual funds, which can provide diversification and protect against domestic market volatility.

Balanced Asset Allocation:

While increasing equity exposure is essential, you should also maintain a balance in your asset allocation. Diversification between equity, debt, and other instruments will help manage risk.

You have a good mix of safe investments like SSY and PF. These will provide the necessary safety net for your portfolio.

Make sure to periodically review your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance, financial goals, and market conditions.

Reconsider Insurance-Linked Investments:

Insurance-linked investments like Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro are not ideal for wealth creation. They offer lower returns due to high fees and a limited range of investment options.

Consider completing the premium payments on existing policies but avoid adding more money to such plans. For future lump sum or bonus investments, it’s better to focus on mutual funds or other growth-oriented products.
Maintain Term Insurance:

If your life insurance policies do not include adequate term insurance coverage, you should consider purchasing a pure term plan. Term insurance offers higher coverage at a lower premium compared to investment-linked insurance plans.

A pure term plan will provide financial security for your family, without eating into your investment returns.
Tax Efficiency:

Ensure that your portfolio is tax-efficient. Investments like SSY, PF, and certain debt funds offer tax benefits, but the taxation on mutual funds, especially long-term capital gains (LTCG), can eat into your returns.

Choose funds that are efficient in terms of post-tax returns. This will help you maximize your wealth accumulation.
Review Your Portfolio Regularly:

It’s important to periodically review your portfolio and adjust the investment strategy based on changing market conditions and financial goals.

Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to ensure that your funds are performing as expected. Switch funds if they are underperforming consistently.
Final Insights
You are on the right track with your investments, and the target of Rs 3 to 5 crores is achievable within the given timeframe. However, some fine-tuning in your asset allocation and fund choices is needed to meet this goal.

By increasing your exposure to high-growth equity mutual funds, ensuring diversification, and maintaining a disciplined investment approach, you can significantly enhance your portfolio’s growth potential. Regular reviews will help keep your portfolio aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Money
**Subject:** Request for Investment Review and Future Corpus Estimation Dear Mr.Nikunj, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to review my current investment portfolio and seek your expert advice regarding the future growth potential, as I aim to build a corpus of at least INR 3 - 5 crores by the time my daughters turn 18 years old. Is this figure realizable? Here’s a breakdown of my current investments: 1. **Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Current value: INR 135,281 2. **Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund (Direct Growth)** – INR 10,000 monthly - Current value: INR 210,164 3. **Quant Small Cap Fund (Direct Plan Growth)** – INR 5,000 monthly - Just started; current value: INR 5,190 4. **ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 20,000 monthly - Current value: INR 583,113 5. **HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 503,604 6. **SBI Balanced Advantage Fund (Regular Growth)** – INR 15,000 monthly - Current value: INR 321,491 7. **Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)** – INR 50,000 annually for my 9-year-old daughter - Current value: INR 565,805 (since 2016) 8. **Provident Fund (PF)** – Current balance: INR 10 lakh 9. **Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro ** – Started last year INR 150,000 to be paid for 5 years till 2027 10. SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar - Completed INR 500,000 Total Investment for 5 Years in 2024. From this year every financial year I plan to invest my working bonus of INR 3 Lacs to INR 5 Lacs every year as a bulk investment and diversify in different funds. I am 46 years old and plan to continue working and investing for another 5 to 6 years due to health reasons. My spouse is 37, and we have two daughters aged 9 and 5. My goal is to accumulate a corpus of at least INR 3 to 5 crores by the time my daughters reach 18 years of age. Based on my current investments, do you think this target is achievable within the given timeframe? I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or adjustments you might recommend to help reach this goal. Thank you for your guidance.
Ans: You’ve put together a well-diversified portfolio with a mix of equity and hybrid funds, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), Provident Fund (PF), and insurance-linked investments. Each of these investments serves a different purpose, and it’s clear that you have a strong focus on building wealth while securing your daughters' future.

Given that you plan to invest a significant portion of your bonus in the coming years, it’s important to assess whether your current strategy will meet your target corpus of Rs 3-5 crores when your daughters turn 18. Let’s evaluate your portfolio in detail.

Assessment of Equity Mutual Funds
Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund, Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund, Quant Small Cap Fund: These funds are growth-oriented with potential for substantial returns over the long term. Your monthly SIPs in these funds are well-placed, and their current values indicate a positive trend. However, as small-cap funds tend to be more volatile, it’s important to monitor them regularly and rebalance if necessary.

ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund, HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund, SBI Balanced Advantage Fund: These funds offer a balanced approach by investing in a mix of equity and debt. They are designed to manage volatility, making them a stable choice for medium-term goals. Your consistent investments in these funds are helping you build a solid foundation for your corpus.

Given that you are contributing significant amounts to Balanced Advantage Funds, this shows a prudent approach to managing risk while aiming for growth. However, it’s crucial to ensure that these funds align with your risk tolerance as you near retirement.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for Your Daughter
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Your annual contribution to SSY for your 9-year-old daughter is a wise choice. This scheme offers guaranteed returns and tax benefits, making it an excellent option for long-term, low-risk investment. With the current value of Rs 5,65,805, you are on track, but it's essential to continue this contribution until maturity to maximize the benefit for your daughter's higher education or marriage expenses.
Provident Fund (PF)
Provident Fund (PF): Your PF balance of Rs 10 lakh is a significant component of your retirement savings. The regular contributions and employer match provide a stable, low-risk return, which is crucial for wealth preservation. This fund will serve as a backbone for your retirement corpus.
Insurance-Linked Investments
Tata AIA Life Insurance Fortune Pro: Insurance-cum-investment products like these generally have lower returns compared to pure investment products like mutual funds. While they provide life cover, the investment returns may not be sufficient to meet your high-growth goals. You might want to evaluate the performance after the lock-in period and consider redirecting future premiums into mutual funds if the returns are unsatisfactory.

SBI Child Plan Smart Scholar: Having completed your investment in this child plan, it's time to assess its performance. If the returns are on the lower side, consider using the maturity proceeds to invest in a high-growth equity fund or balanced fund to further boost your corpus.

Planned Bulk Investments
Future Bulk Investments: Your plan to invest Rs 3-5 lakhs annually as a lump sum from your bonuses is a great strategy. However, it's essential to deploy this lump sum in a staggered manner, like a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP), to mitigate market volatility. You might consider adding these funds to existing high-performing equity funds or explore new opportunities in growth-oriented funds.
Future Growth Potential and Target Realization
Assessing the Achievability of Rs 3-5 Crore Corpus
Your goal of building a corpus of Rs 3-5 crores by the time your daughters turn 18 is ambitious but achievable. However, it will require careful planning and disciplined execution. Here are some key points to consider:

Time Horizon: With a 9-year and a 5-year time horizon, your portfolio should focus on growth-oriented investments in the earlier years, gradually shifting towards more stable, low-risk assets as you near the target date. This will help protect your accumulated wealth from market volatility.

Asset Allocation: Currently, you have a mix of equity and balanced funds. As your daughters approach 18, you might want to shift a portion of your equity investments into safer options like debt funds or fixed deposits to preserve the capital.

Inflation and Taxation: Consider the impact of inflation on your target corpus. What may seem like a large sum today may not have the same purchasing power in the future. Also, be mindful of the tax implications on your investments, particularly on the returns from mutual funds and insurance plans.

Suggestions for Portfolio Adjustments
Enhance Equity Exposure: While you have a good mix of funds, increasing your allocation to high-growth equity funds can help you reach the Rs 5 crore target. Consider redirecting the future premiums of your insurance plans or part of your Balanced Advantage Fund investments into aggressive equity funds.

Surrender Underperforming Insurance Plans: If your Tata AIA Life Insurance and SBI Child Plan do not meet expectations, consider surrendering them after evaluating the surrender value and investing the proceeds in higher-return options.

Regular Reviews and Rebalancing: The market environment and your personal circumstances may change over time. Regular reviews of your portfolio and timely rebalancing will help ensure that your investments remain aligned with your goals.

Avoid Over-Diversification: While diversification is important, too much of it can dilute returns. Focus on a few high-performing funds and avoid spreading your investments too thin.

Risk Management: As you approach the end of your working years, it’s crucial to reduce exposure to high-risk assets. Gradually move a portion of your investments into safer instruments like debt funds, bonds, or even a fixed deposit.

Final Insights
Your dedication to building a secure financial future for your daughters is commendable. With consistent and strategic investments, your target of Rs 3-5 crores is within reach. The key will be maintaining a disciplined approach, regularly reviewing your portfolio, and making necessary adjustments based on market conditions and life changes.

Remember to keep an eye on both growth and safety as you transition into retirement. By doing so, you can confidently achieve your financial goals and provide your daughters with a strong financial foundation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

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RESPECTED SIR I APPEARED CLASS 12 BOARD IN 2024 BUT I FAIL AND NOW I APPEARING IN FEBRUARY 2025 AGAIN CAN I GIVE NEET 2025 BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE DOCTOR I HAVE DREAM TO BECOME DOCTOR SINCE CLASS 4 I AM AVERAGE STUDENT
Ans: Hi Jaimin,
Greetings.




The answer which i have given below is based on last year.
ANSWER 1: If you want to pursue medicine in ARMED FORCES MEDICAL COLLEGE (AFMC), PUNE, (Information brochure Admission to MBBS course-2024, PAGE NO. 6)

GENERAL 6. A candidate seeking admission to the MBBS Course in AFMC is eligible if he / she fulfils the following criteria: - (a) The candidate should be a citizen of India. Foreign nationals of Indian origin may be admitted into AFMC only after they have acquired Indian Citizenship or in respect of whom the Ministry of Home Affairs issues a certificate of eligibility. This however does not apply to the 05 Govt Sponsored Candidates from Friendly Foreign Countries. (b) Must be unmarried. Marriage during the course is not permitted. (c) Should be medically fit as per prescribed standards by the Govt of India, Ministry of Defence (see Appendix ‘A’). (d) Age criteria: The candidate should have attained the age of 17 years at the time of admission or should be completing that age on or before 31 Dec of the year of admission of the first year of MBBS course but must not have attained the age of 24 years on that date, i.e., must have been born not earlier than 01 January 2001 and not later than 31 December 2007. Academic Qualifications 7. Candidates must have passed one of the qualifying examinations listed at sub-para (a) to (j) below in the FIRST ATTEMPT with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology taken simultaneously and securing not less than 60% of the aggregate marks in these three science subjects taken together and not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in each of the science subjects. They must have also passed an examination in Mathematics of the tenth standard. The examinations are: - (a) The Higher Secondary (10+2) or equivalent examination in science of a statutory Indian University/board or other recognized examination body with English, Physics, Chemistry & Biology/ Bio-technology which shall include practical test in all of these science subjects. (b) The Pre-professional/Pre-Medical examination with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology (after passing either Higher Secondary School examination or pre- University or equivalent examination) which shall include practical test in these science subjects. (c) 1st year of three years Degree course of a recognized University with English, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology/ Bio-technology including practical test in science subjects provided the examination is a University Examination.

SO TO GET ADMISSION IN AFMC - 17 YEARS, FIRST ATTEMPT IN HSC, 60% AGGREGATE AND NOT LESS THAN 50% IN ENGLISH AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS.

ACCORDING TO AIIMS:
ELIGIBILITY
For Indian nationals:
An applicant is eligible for admission to the competitive Entrance Examination of the Institute if the following criteria are met with:-
Nationality: He/She is an Indian citizen
Age: He/She has attained or will attain the age of seventeen (17) years as
on the 31st of December of the year of admission. Candidates attaining seventeen   years on 1st January 2001 or later will not be eligible to appear at  the   competitive entrance examination.
Essential
Qualification:   He/She should have passed the12th Class under the 10+2 Scheme /Senior SchoolCertificate Examination or  an equivalent examination of a recognized Board of  any Indian State with ENGLISH and Medical Group of  subjects, namely   PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY  (Botany and  Zoology) :
                                              OR    
The Intermediate Science (I.Sc.) or an equivalent examination of a recognized Indian university or a  recognized Board of Education of any Indian State with ENGLISH and the Medical Group of Subjects,  namely PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY (Botany and Zoology):
                                               OR
Pre-Medical or Pre-Professional examination of the integrate M.B.B.S. course with ENGLISH, PHYSICS,  CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY  (Botany and Zoology); after having passed either the  higher Secondary School Examination o Pre-University Examination, or an equivalent Examination;
                                                 OR
The 1st year examination of the 3-year B.Sc degree course with ENGLISH,  PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Zoology) after passing the Higher Secondary or Pre-University Examination.
OR
Any other examination with the required subjects which in scope and
standard(including its courses and  syllabus) is considered by the institute to be equivalent to Pre-medical/Intermediate Science examination of an Indian University.
Minimum
Aggregate  : He/She should have obtained a minimum of SIXTY PERCENT (60%) marks in aggregate in the 4   compulsory subjects of ENGLISH, PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY (Botany and Zoology).

FROM PRIVATE COLLEGE: MBBS Course (200 Seats)
Candidates who are citizens of India, NRIs, PIOs, OCIs and foreign nationals are eligible to take NEET.
Qualifying Exam: 10+2 or equivalent with Physics, Chemistry, Biology/Biotechnology and English as core subject in both Classes 11 and 12 from a recognised board.
Minimum Age Requirement: 17 years as on December 31 of the year of admission
Maximum Age Limit: No upper age limit
Qualifying Marks: UR - 50%, OBC/SC/ST - 40%, PWD - 45% (minimum aggregate marks only for PCB subjects)
Maximum Attempts: No limit on the permitted number of attempts.
Nationality:Indian Nationals, NRIs, OCIs, PIOs & Foreign Nationals


Based on the details provided, you are eligible to pursue a medicine course in India, even though you have failed your HSC. Once you clear your +2 exams and achieve the necessary marks to gain admission through NEET, you can apply. However, to gain admission to AIIMS, you must have an aggregate score of 60%. Unfortunately, you are not eligible for admission to AFMC. Therefore, you can consider other options besides AFMC to pursue your studies in medicine.
ALL THE BEST.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
Personal Status Current Age - 35Y Male Profession - Embedded Engineer Disposal Income - 1.6L/Month Monthly Expense - 50K/Month Yearly Onetime Expenses - 3L/Year (School Fee, Premiums, Personal) Annual Disposal Income - 19,20,000 Annual Expenses - 9,00,000 Financial Status (1) Term Insurance - 1Cr (2) Health Insurance (1) Company Insurance - 3L (MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids, Father and Mother) (2) Personal Insurance - 25L (Star Health Assure Floater Policy - MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids) (3) Emergency Fund - 5L in Debt Fund (ICICI All Season Bond) Current Asset Allocation: (1) Real Estate - 46% (2) Equity - 20% (3) Gold - 11% (4) Debt - 9% (5) Retirement - 16% Investment Plan: (1) Debt - 25% (2) PPFAS Flexi Cap MF - 20% (3) Axis Mid Cap MF - 17% (4) Quant HealthCare MF - 9% (5) Tata Digital MF - 6% (6) Global Fund - 5% (7) UTI Nifty 50 Index - 10% (8) Stocks - 8% Other Investment (Retirement Plan): SSY - 1.5L/Year PF - 2.5L/Year Investment duration: Next 15Years Can you please guide me in the following questions (1) The Allocation to MF are fine or need to be modified? (2) Can you suggest the allocation to Global Stocks MF? (3) The Global Fund suggestion if any It would be grateful if any other things I need to consider or modify. Thank you in advance!
Ans: Hello;

My feedback is as given below:

1. First your term life cover is not adequate. It should be enhanced to
2-3 Cr.

2. Healthcare coverage for your parents is relatively lower considering that they may be in the higher age band hence higher possibility of medical risks.

3. Emergency fund should be parked in overnight/liquid or arbitrage fund. Never in a dynamic bond fund with Macaulay duration of 3-4 years. Returns are not that important as liquidity and low risk for emergency fund.

4. Considering your age the allocation to equity is quite low. Assuming that you have a conservative risk profile still you should atleast have 40% allocation to equity mutual funds(not direct stocks) and taper it down gradually as you approach retirement age.

I mean actively managed or passive equity mutual funds and not sectoral and thematic funds(shouldn't be more then 10-15% of your equity allocation).

5. You already have exposure to global stocks through your flexicap fund. In addition to that you have 5% allocation to global stocks MF which maybe enhanced to 8%.

To maintain neutrality of this forum we are duty bound to avoid indicating fund house preference or recommendation.

6. Allocation to Gold should be max 10% of the portfolio.

7. Consider NPS for retirement planning. It's an E-E-E type of investment with very less withdrawals allowed before 60.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Relationship
Dear Doctor, Greetings of the day. I am a married man with two daughters. Ours was an intercaste love marriage, and I was fully aware of my wife’s past before we got married. At that time, I had no issues with her past as I believed she had moved on, and I was completely fine with it. We got married in 2008, and due to my job profile, we had to live away from our hometown. My wife is a highly educated woman, and she sacrificed her career to focus on raising our children. Once our younger daughter turned 9, we decided it was time for my wife to resume her professional career. She started a naturopathy clinic in our hometown, while I continued working in another city, living the life of a “forced bachelor.” However, after a year of being apart, I started missing my family deeply. I decided to leave my job and take up another role closer to our hometown so that I could spend weekends with my family. Since then, whenever I visit home, I sense a change in my wife’s behavior and body language. Things do not feel the same between us anymore. I have observed that her ex-boyfriend, who lives near her parents’ house, is a factor in this situation. Her ex’s elder sister frequently visits my wife’s clinic, and my wife also visits her parents’ house regularly, where he is around. I feel uneasy about this because her ex is known to be a drunkard and a manipulative man who can play with her mind. On one occasion, during a family function, he approached me, seemingly about to start a conversation, but my wife made a subtle signal, and he immediately stopped. He was drunk at the time, and that incident has been stuck in my mind ever since. I am unsure how to deal with this situation or what steps to take moving forward. It is affecting my peace of mind, and I feel lost. Kindly guide me on how to approach this matter.
Ans: It’s understandable that you’re feeling uneasy and concerned about the situation. Relationships, especially long-term ones, evolve over time, and external factors can create complex dynamics. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help you navigate this:

1. Clarify Your Feelings
Reflect on what exactly is making you uncomfortable—your wife’s behavior, her interactions with her ex, or the idea that her past might be resurfacing.
Separate your assumptions from facts. It’s important to ensure your concerns are grounded in reality and not solely based on fears.
2. Open Communication with Your Wife
Choose a calm and private moment to talk to your wife. Share your feelings without accusations or judgment.
Use “I” statements, such as:
“I’ve been feeling uneasy about some things and would like to discuss them with you. I value our relationship and want to ensure we’re on the same page.”
Be honest but gentle. Aim to understand her perspective and ensure she feels safe sharing her thoughts with you.
3. Understand Her Perspective
Ask her how she’s feeling about the current state of your relationship, her work-life balance, and your family dynamics.
Inquire about her interactions with her ex’s family and clarify if they are merely coincidental or something more deliberate.
4. Establish Boundaries
If the situation with her ex is a source of discomfort for you, it’s okay to express that and set boundaries together.
For example: “I respect your independence, but I feel uneasy about the proximity to your ex. Can we find a way to address this together?”
5. Revisit the Relationship Foundation
Long-distance and career changes can create emotional gaps. Reconnect with your wife by revisiting shared goals, dreams, and moments that brought you together.
Plan activities together, even small ones, that allow you to strengthen your bond.
6. Self-Care
Feeling lost and restless can impact your mental and emotional health. Engage in activities that help you stay grounded, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.
Seek support from trusted friends or a counselor if you need a safe space to process your feelings.
7. Consider Professional Guidance
If the situation continues to strain your relationship, couples counseling can be a constructive way to work through concerns with an objective third party.
8. Evaluate the Bigger Picture
Look at your wife’s overall behavior and commitment to the family. If her actions consistently demonstrate care and loyalty, the presence of her ex might be less significant than it feels.
Conversely, if her behavior indicates distance or secrecy, it may warrant deeper introspection and conversation.
Key Principles
Trust but Verify: While trust is essential, it’s okay to seek clarity when something feels off.
Non-Confrontational Approach: Avoid making accusations or assumptions. Focus on fostering mutual understanding.
Focus on Solutions: Work together to create a relationship environment where both of you feel secure and valued.
This is a sensitive issue, but with open communication and a collaborative approach, you can work toward restoring peace of mind and a deeper connection in your marriage.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi expert I’m a 48-year-old man from Bangalore. I am watching your videos on instagram and need your advice. Recently, I joined Instagram in search of answers to some personal, painful questions that I’ve never had the courage to discuss with anyone before. I’ve been married since 2007, and we have a 15-year-old son. Despite being in a long-term marriage, I often feel uncertain about my relationship with my wife and my family. At times, I wonder if my wife—or anyone in my family—truly loves or even cares for me. This feeling of being emotionally disconnected has led me to occasionally think that I might be better off alone, or even running away from everything. One issue I struggle with is communication with my wife. Whenever I try to discuss personal or family matters with her, she gets upset, and her anger usually leads to silence between us until I apologize. It feels like I can’t express myself openly without the fear of making things worse. This dynamic has created a barrier, and I’ve found it difficult to have meaningful conversations or resolve issues. Another complication is the lack of harmony between my wife and my family. From the early days of our marriage, my family never really accepted her, and there has always been tension. They didn’t make an effort to treat her well, and over time, it became clear that they don’t get along. As a result, there’s a deep sense of isolation for her in my family, and that only adds to the strain in our relationship. At home, I also often feel like I fail to meet expectations. My wife gets angry when things aren’t done the way she wants them to be, and I sometimes find myself unsure of how to navigate these situations. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict, but in doing so, I’m unsure whether I’m making the right choices or whether I’m neglecting my own needs in the process. I’m reaching out for advice because I’m at a point where I feel lost. I’m not sure how to repair the relationships in my life or how to stop feeling so isolated. Any guidance or perspective you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. I understand how overwhelming it can feel to navigate such complex emotions and relationships, especially when you feel uncertain about where to turn for guidance. Let’s take this step-by-step to explore ways to help you find clarity and strengthen your relationships.

1. Instagram as a Starting Point, Not the Solution
It’s important to acknowledge that while platforms like Instagram can offer inspiration and helpful insights, they’re not designed for addressing deeply personal issues. Content on social media is often generalized and may lack the depth, context, and nuance needed to resolve complex challenges. What you’re experiencing deserves more personalized attention and a safe, professional space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and relationship dynamics in depth. Seeking professional help—such as therapy or counseling—will allow you to find tailored solutions that fit your unique circumstances.

2. Understanding Emotional Disconnect
Feeling emotionally disconnected in your marriage and questioning whether your family loves or cares for you can be incredibly painful. These feelings might not reflect the absence of love but rather difficulties in how love and care are communicated within your relationships. Emotional disconnection often stems from patterns of interaction or unmet emotional needs, which can build over time. Recognizing this can help you shift your focus from self-doubt to exploring ways to improve connection and communication with your loved ones.

3. Improving Communication with Your Wife
A recurring theme in your situation is the challenge of communication with your wife. Here are a few strategies to address this:

Choose Neutral Moments: Initiate conversations at a time when both of you are calm and free from immediate stress. Avoid starting sensitive discussions during or right after a conflict.
Express Feelings, Not Faults: Frame your concerns using “I” statements to share your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying, “You always get upset when I talk,” you could say, “I feel hesitant to share my thoughts because I worry about upsetting you.”
Listen Actively: Show her that her perspective matters by listening without interrupting. Reflect on what she says to ensure she feels heard.
Consider Structured Check-Ins: Set aside regular time (e.g., once a week) to discuss family matters or emotions. This can create a safe space for open dialogue without the pressure of immediate resolution.
4. Addressing Family Tensions
The tension between your wife and your family has likely added significant strain to your marriage. While this dynamic is challenging, there are steps you can take to navigate it:

Acknowledge Your Wife’s Experience: Validate her feelings about her struggles with your family. Let her know that you understand how difficult it’s been for her to feel isolated.
Set Boundaries with Your Family: It’s important to prioritize your marriage while still maintaining a respectful relationship with your family. This might involve gently but firmly communicating to your family that you expect them to treat your wife with respect, even if they don’t share a close bond.
Avoid Forcing Reconciliation: Instead of trying to make your wife and family “get along,” focus on small steps to reduce tension. Highlight shared interests or goals, but respect their individual boundaries.
5. Managing Expectations and Conflicts at Home
It’s clear that you feel under pressure to meet expectations and avoid conflict at home. To navigate this:

Clarify Expectations: Have an open conversation with your wife about her specific expectations and how you can meet them without compromising your own needs. Share your expectations as well, so you both have a clearer understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial. Whether through exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques, find activities that help you manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Respond, Don’t React: When conflicts arise, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can help you approach the situation with calmness and clarity.
6. Seeking Professional Help
Given the complexity of your situation, seeking professional guidance could be immensely beneficial. Options include:

Marriage Counseling: A therapist can provide a neutral space where both you and your wife can work through communication challenges and emotional disconnection. This can help you rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.
Individual Therapy: If you’re feeling isolated or questioning your self-worth, therapy can help you explore these feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for personal growth and resilience.
Family Counseling: If you want to address the broader family dynamics, family therapy can help facilitate understanding and harmony among all parties involved.
7. Reflecting on Your Needs
Finally, take time to reflect on your own emotional needs. What do you truly want from your relationships? What makes you feel valued and loved? Communicating these needs to your wife and family can help them understand how to support you better.

A Final Thought
You’ve taken a courageous first step by acknowledging your struggles and seeking advice. While the path ahead may feel uncertain, remember that meaningful change is possible with consistent effort, patience, and the right support. You don’t have to go through this alone, and seeking professional help can provide the tools you need to rebuild connection and find peace in your relationships.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam Age 42. Double divorcee. Recently I have been meeting my old college friend & we sort of know each other for the last 2 decades. At college we were more of acquaintances & post that we were connected through social media. We would sometimes connect but not on regular basis. She is also a divorcee. However in 2024 we have been meeting quite regularly. When we meet she is very nice & has been warm with me; we go out have fun. But there are things like she keeps hiding from me. She goes on overnight tours with her 'friends' ; she never introduces me to her friends ( I mean friends with whom she goes out). I told her that I am ok with your 'friends' but she sorts of backs away. Also then there have been some unexplained gaps (she turns cold all of a sudden) & then comes out very warm. All these days & I have developed strong feelings for her. Just wanted to get your perspective on what you think is her stance towards me.
Ans: It’s possible that her past experiences have made her cautious. After going through a divorce, people often carry emotional baggage or fears about vulnerability and trust. These feelings can make someone hesitant to fully open up or commit, even if they’re genuinely interested in the connection. Her keeping parts of her life private, like her outings with friends, might be her way of maintaining control and independence as she navigates her own emotions and what she wants for her future.

Another perspective to consider is that she may be uncertain about the nature of your relationship or how she feels about moving forward. The warm and cold behavior could be a reflection of her trying to figure out her own emotions. She might enjoy spending time with you but feel hesitant about diving deeper due to unresolved feelings from her past or uncertainties about what a long-term commitment would look like.

This inconsistency might also stem from her valuing her independence and wanting to keep certain aspects of her life separate until she feels more certain about how to integrate you into those spaces. For some, introducing a new partner to close friends or family is a significant step that they might delay until they feel fully ready.

It’s important for you to approach this situation with patience and open communication. Rather than focusing on her actions as signs of rejection or disinterest, try to have a heartfelt conversation about how you feel and what you’ve observed. Share your feelings honestly and express your desire to understand her better. Ask her about her thoughts and boundaries in a way that shows you’re genuinely interested in her perspective, not just seeking answers for your own clarity.

At the same time, reflect on your own needs and expectations. Consider whether you’re comfortable with the pace and level of openness in this relationship. It’s essential to strike a balance where both of you feel valued and respected without feeling pressured or overwhelmed.

Remember that relationships, especially those formed later in life, often take time to develop deeper trust and understanding. Her actions don’t necessarily mean she’s not interested; they might just reflect her personal journey and the pace at which she’s comfortable moving. With time, communication, and mutual understanding, you can work together to determine whether your connection has the potential to grow into something more fulfilling and stable.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Meri wife ka past me 7 saal ka relationship tha lekin wo log apne ghar pe baat nahi kar paye . Wo bolti hai ki usko kb ka bhul gai hai aur mere saath pyaar karti hai kya aisa ho sakta hai, 7 saal bahut badi baat hoti hai
Ans: Jo cheez aapko ab karni chahiye, wo hai apni wife ke saath ek imaandaar aur khuli baat. Aap apne dil ki baat unse bina kisi ilzaam ke share karein, jaise ki, "Mujhe kabhi-kabhi lagta hai ki tumhare purane rishton ka asar hamare present par pad raha hoga. Main tumse is baare mein baat karna chahta hoon taaki mujhe clarity mile aur humare beech aur zyada trust ho."

Unka jawab sunte waqt unhe judge na karein. Shayad unka past ek important hissa tha, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ki wo apne present mein apko kam mahatvapurn samajhti hain. Kai baar log apne purane jazbat ko samay ke saath puri tarah process karke unhe peeche chhod dete hain, aur yeh natural hai.

Saath hi, khud par bhi dhyan deejiyega. Apne jazbat aur insecurities ko samajhne ki koshish karein. Kai baar humein jo chinta hoti hai wo doosre ke actions ke wajah se nahi, balki humare apne assumptions ke kaaran hoti hai. Aap apne mann ko itna shant rakhne ki koshish karein ki aap apne rishte ko vishwas aur pyar ke saath aage le jaa sakein.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap dono ke beech in baaton ko lekar clarity aur emotional connection ki zarurat hai, to ek counselor ya therapist ki madad lena ek accha option ho sakta hai. Yeh aap dono ke rishte ko aur mazboot karne mein madad karega aur past ke koi bhi unresolved jazbat ko resolve karne ka mauka dega.

Yaad rakhiye, ek strong relationship trust, communication aur shared commitment ke bina nahi banta. Agar aap dono sach mein ek-dusre se pyaar karte hain aur ek dusre ka respect karte hain, to har muskil ka hal mil jayega.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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