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Will My Mutual Fund Portfolio Generate 60-70 Lakhs in 10-12 Years? Asking From Himachal Pradesh

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 30, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Sanjeev Question by Sanjeev on Oct 04, 2024Hindi
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Hi Myself Sanjeev Kumar from Himachal Pradesh, I am in mutual funds from last 3 years on below mutual funds 1. Aditya birla multicap fund (regular growth) ---- Rs 1000 monthly 2. Invesco India flexi Cap fund (Plan growth) ------ Rs 1000 monthly 3. Invesco India Multicap fund (regular growth) ---- Rs 1000 monthly 4. Kotak multicap fund (regular) ------------------------- Rs 1000 monthly 5. Kotak emerging equity fund (growth) --------------- Rs 1000 monthly 6. Kotak ELSS tax saver fund ------------------------------- Rs 500 monthly 7. Union tax saver fund (ELSS) ---------------------------- Rs 1500 monthly 8. Bandhan Nifty 200 momentum 30 index fund (regular plan) --- Rs 1000 monthly (started a month ago) Apart from above, I am investing in below also 1. PPF ---------------- 1.5 lac annually 2. NPD ---------------- 0.5 lac annually 3. LIC ----------------- 0.5 lac annually Si/mam i want to ask is my portifoilio good enough to produce at least 60- 70 lakhs in next 10-12 years returns or some reshuffling is required. If yes kindly suggest some good funds. Hoping to hear from you soon Thanks

Ans: Hello;

Your mutual fund monthly sip of 8 K need to be increased to 10 K ( maybe you can add 2 K additional investment in Kotak ELSS tax saver fund).

PPF and other investment should continue as planned.

This will ensure your MF corpus + PPF will reach 60 L+ in value over 12 years.

LIC policy maturity sum and NPD will be bonus.

Funds are good. No need to change.

Happy Investing;
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Hi Experts! I am 36 years old, married 1 year ago. I have Rs.223000 invested in Mutual Fund. Per Month 10k in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund, Rs.1250 in DSP ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth, Rs.1000 in Kotak ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth, PGIM India Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth, Rs.2000 in Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth, Rs.2000 in Quant Multi Asset Fund Direct Growth and Rs.2000 in ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FDF Direct Growth. Apart from this I pay Rs.10k/month in PPF and 1.5 lac/year in SBI Life Insurance. Please let me know if this is a good portfolio or should I modify anything in this. What kind of Future return I will be expecting here with this portfolio.
Ans: Congratulations on your recent marriage and your proactive approach towards financial planning. It's evident that you're committed to securing your financial future.

Your investment portfolio reflects a diversified approach, which is a positive sign. Diversification helps spread risk and can enhance long-term returns. Let's delve into your portfolio to assess its effectiveness and potential for future returns.

Investing in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund offers exposure to a diversified portfolio across various sectors and market capitalizations. This fund's flexible investment strategy allows it to capitalize on emerging opportunities, potentially leading to attractive returns over time.

ELSS Tax Saver Funds like DSP and Kotak offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act while providing exposure to equities. These funds have a lock-in period of three years, aligning with your long-term investment horizon.

Nippon India Small Cap Fund and Quant Multi Asset Fund offer exposure to smaller companies and multiple asset classes, respectively. Small-cap funds have the potential for higher growth but come with increased volatility. Ensure they align with your risk tolerance.

ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FDF provides exposure to a diversified basket of public sector enterprises and select private sector companies. This fund can add stability to your portfolio while offering growth potential.

Your investments in PPF and SBI Life Insurance contribute to your overall financial security and tax planning. PPF offers stable returns with tax benefits, while life insurance provides protection for your family's future financial needs.

Considering your age and investment horizon, this portfolio has the potential to generate attractive returns over the long term. However, periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

For a more comprehensive analysis and personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner who can tailor recommendations to your specific needs and objectives.

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K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
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www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir, i have 6 No of Mutual fund 1.SBI small cap 1000 per month 2. SBI focused equity 1000 per month 3. SBI blue chip fund 1000 per month 4. Nippon india small cap 500 per month 5.Quant small cap fund 1000 per month 6. Parag parikh flexi cap 1000 per month Is these MF are good or i need to change any fund. SBI fund are almost 2.6 year old. I have time horizon of 10 to 15 years.Now i am 38 year old.
Ans: It's great that you're investing in mutual funds for your future financial goals! Let's review your current mutual fund portfolio and make some suggestions:

SBI Small Cap, SBI Focused Equity, and SBI Blue Chip Fund:
SBI Funds are reputable and have a track record of performance. However, it's essential to review their performance periodically to ensure they continue to meet your investment objectives.
Nippon India Small Cap and Quant Small Cap Fund:
Small-cap funds can offer high growth potential but also come with higher risk. Ensure you have a long-term investment horizon and the risk tolerance to withstand market volatility.
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap:
Flexi-cap funds provide flexibility to invest across market caps. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund is known for its diversified portfolio and focus on quality stocks. It's a good choice for long-term wealth creation.
Suggestions:

Review Performance: Periodically review the performance of your mutual funds to ensure they align with your investment goals and risk tolerance.
Diversification: Consider diversifying your portfolio further by adding funds from different fund houses or investing in different asset classes like debt or international funds.
Regular Monitoring: Keep an eye on the performance of your funds and make adjustments as needed. If any fund consistently underperforms its benchmark or peers, consider replacing it with a better-performing alternative.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A professional can help optimize your portfolio and ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.
Overall, your mutual fund portfolio seems well-diversified, but it's essential to monitor its performance regularly and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your long-term financial goals. Keep up the good work and continue investing systematically for your future!

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2024

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Hi sir,my name is babu ,my age is 33 years. Please review my mutual fund portflio and i am keeping mf portflio for 15 years for retirement corpus. Lumpsum: 1.quant flexi cap fund-1 lakh 2.parag parikh flexi cap fund- 1.2 lakh 3.icici prudential equity and debt fund-50 k 4.quant large and midcap fund-1lakh 5.icici prudential blue chip- 1 lakh 6.edelweiss mid cap fund-1 lakh 7.icici prudential nifty next 50 index- 1lakh Sip: 1.motilal oswal nifty midcap 150 index-4500 2.motilal oswal nifty small cap 150 index-3500 3.HDFC S&P BSE 500 INDEX-2000 4.parag parikh flexi cap-2500 5.icici prudential blue chip-2000 6.hdfc nifty 50 index plan-2500 7.icici prudential nifty 50 index-3000 As i am keepimg mf's for my future goals,i want to take minimal risk. Please review my portfolio and suggest.
Ans: Hello Babu,

Firstly, congratulations on your thoughtful approach to building your mutual fund portfolio. You have a good mix of lump sum investments and SIPs, which is crucial for a well-rounded investment strategy.

Lump Sum Investments
Your lump sum investments are diversified across different categories, which is excellent for risk management. Let’s look at each fund:

Quant Flexi Cap Fund: This fund is versatile and can invest across market capitalizations.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Known for its value investing approach, it includes international stocks for additional diversification.

ICICI Prudential Equity and Debt Fund: This hybrid fund balances equity and debt, offering stability and growth.

Quant Large and Midcap Fund: Invests in large and mid-cap stocks, aiming for a balance of stability and growth.

ICICI Prudential Blue Chip Fund: Focuses on large-cap stocks, providing stability.

Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund: Targets mid-cap stocks, which have the potential for higher growth but come with higher risk.

ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund: Tracks the Nifty Next 50 index, which can offer growth from emerging large-cap companies.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Your SIPs also cover a range of index and active funds. Here’s an evaluation:

Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 Index Fund: Mid-cap index funds can be volatile but offer high growth potential.

Motilal Oswal Nifty Small Cap 150 Index Fund: Small-cap index funds have even higher growth potential with higher risk.

HDFC S&P BSE 500 Index Fund: A broad market index fund that offers comprehensive market exposure.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Continues to provide diversification and international exposure.

ICICI Prudential Blue Chip Fund: Consistent performer among large-cap funds.

HDFC Nifty 50 Index Plan: Tracks the Nifty 50 index, providing exposure to the top 50 companies.

ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Fund: Another Nifty 50 tracker, providing redundancy in your portfolio.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds provide low-cost market exposure, they have some limitations compared to actively managed funds:

No Active Management: Index funds simply replicate the index and cannot react to market changes or economic shifts.

No Outperformance: They are designed to match the index performance, not exceed it. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index.

Limited Flexibility: Index funds must follow the index composition, even if some stocks perform poorly.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, on the other hand, offer several benefits:

Professional Management: Fund managers make strategic decisions to outperform the market.

Dynamic Allocation: They can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, potentially reducing risk.

Selective Investments: Fund managers can choose high-potential stocks, avoiding underperformers.

Recommendations
To minimize risk while aiming for growth, consider these adjustments:

Reduce Overlap in Index Funds: You have multiple funds tracking similar indices (Nifty 50). Consider reducing redundancy to simplify your portfolio.

Increase Allocation to Hybrid Funds: Hybrid funds offer a balanced approach, combining equity and debt for stability.

Focus on Quality Active Funds: Include more actively managed funds with a proven track record of consistent performance.

Conclusion
Your portfolio is well-diversified, but some adjustments can enhance its effectiveness. Reducing overlap and focusing more on active management can align with your goal of minimal risk and stable growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2024

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Hi sir,my name is babu ,my age is 33 years. Please review my mutual fund portflio and i am keeping mf portflio for 15 years for retirement corpus. Lumpsum: 1.quant flexi cap fund-1 lakh 2.parag parikh flexi cap fund- 1.2 lakh 3.icici prudential equity and debt fund-50 k 4.quant large and midcap fund-1lakh 5.icici prudential blue chip- 1 lakh 6.edelweiss mid cap fund-1 lakh 7.icici prudential nifty next 50 index- 1lakh Sip: 1.motilal oswal nifty midcap 150 index-4500 2.motilal oswal nifty small cap 150 index-3500 3.HDFC S&P BSE 500 INDEX-2000 4.parag parikh flexi cap-2500 5.icici prudential blue chip-2000 6.hdfc nifty 50 index plan-2500 7.icici prudential nifty 50 index-3000 As i am keepimg mf's for my future goals,i want to take minimal risk. Please review my portfolio and suggest.
Ans: Hello Babu,

Firstly, congratulations on your thoughtful approach to building your mutual fund portfolio. You have a good mix of lump sum investments and SIPs, which is crucial for a well-rounded investment strategy.

Lump Sum Investments
Your lump sum investments are diversified across different categories, which is excellent for risk management. Let’s look at each fund:

Quant Flexi Cap Fund: This fund is versatile and can invest across market capitalizations.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Known for its value investing approach, it includes international stocks for additional diversification.

ICICI Prudential Equity and Debt Fund: This hybrid fund balances equity and debt, offering stability and growth.

Quant Large and Midcap Fund: Invests in large and mid-cap stocks, aiming for a balance of stability and growth.

ICICI Prudential Blue Chip Fund: Focuses on large-cap stocks, providing stability.

Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund: Targets mid-cap stocks, which have the potential for higher growth but come with higher risk.

ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund: Tracks the Nifty Next 50 index, which can offer growth from emerging large-cap companies.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Your SIPs also cover a range of index and active funds. Here’s an evaluation:

Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 Index Fund: Mid-cap index funds can be volatile but offer high growth potential.

Motilal Oswal Nifty Small Cap 150 Index Fund: Small-cap index funds have even higher growth potential with higher risk.

HDFC S&P BSE 500 Index Fund: A broad market index fund that offers comprehensive market exposure.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Continues to provide diversification and international exposure.

ICICI Prudential Blue Chip Fund: Consistent performer among large-cap funds.

HDFC Nifty 50 Index Plan: Tracks the Nifty 50 index, providing exposure to the top 50 companies.

ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Fund: Another Nifty 50 tracker, providing redundancy in your portfolio.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds provide low-cost market exposure, they have some limitations compared to actively managed funds:

No Active Management: Index funds simply replicate the index and cannot react to market changes or economic shifts.

No Outperformance: They are designed to match the index performance, not exceed it. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the index.

Limited Flexibility: Index funds must follow the index composition, even if some stocks perform poorly.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, on the other hand, offer several benefits:

Professional Management: Fund managers make strategic decisions to outperform the market.

Dynamic Allocation: They can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, potentially reducing risk.

Selective Investments: Fund managers can choose high-potential stocks, avoiding underperformers.

Recommendations
To minimize risk while aiming for growth, consider these adjustments:

Reduce Overlap in Index Funds: You have multiple funds tracking similar indices (Nifty 50). Consider reducing redundancy to simplify your portfolio.

Increase Allocation to Hybrid Funds: Hybrid funds offer a balanced approach, combining equity and debt for stability.

Focus on Quality Active Funds: Include more actively managed funds with a proven track record of consistent performance.

Conclusion
Your portfolio is well-diversified, but some adjustments can enhance its effectiveness. Reducing overlap and focusing more on active management can align with your goal of minimal risk and stable growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Money
Hi sir,my name is babu ,my age is 33 years. Please review my mutual fund portflio and i am keeping mf portflio for 15 years for retirement corpus. Lumpsum: 1.quant flexi cap fund-1 lakh 2.parag parikh flexi cap fund- 1.2 lakh 3.icici prudential equity and debt fund-50 k 4.quant large and midcap fund-1lakh 5.icici prudential blue chip- 1 lakh 6.edelweiss mid cap fund-1 lakh 7.icici prudential nifty next 50 index- 1lakh Sip: 1.motilal oswal nifty midcap 150 index-4500 2.Quant active fund-3500 3.HDFC S&P BSE 500 INDEX-2000 4.parag parikh flexi cap-2500 5.icici prudential blue chip-2000 6.Quant flexi cap fund--1500 7.icici prudential nifty 50 index-3000 As i am keeping mf's for my future goals, i want to take minimal risk. Please review my portfolio and suggest.
Ans: Reviewing Your Mutual Fund Portfolio for Long-Term Retirement Goals

Understanding Your Financial Goals
Babu, it's commendable that you are planning for your retirement early. Investing with a 15-year horizon allows you to benefit from market growth and compounding. Your diversified portfolio shows good intent to balance growth and risk.

Evaluating Your Lumpsum Investments
Flexi Cap Funds
You have invested in flexi cap funds, which invest across market capitalizations. These funds offer flexibility and can perform well in varying market conditions. This allocation supports long-term growth.

Equity and Debt Fund
A balanced fund like an equity and debt fund can provide stability. It invests in both equities for growth and debt instruments for safety. This diversification reduces overall portfolio risk.

Large and Mid Cap Funds
Your investment in large and mid cap funds targets stability and growth. Large caps provide stability due to established companies. Mid caps offer higher growth potential, albeit with more risk.

Blue Chip Funds
Blue chip funds invest in well-established companies with a strong track record. These funds are relatively stable and provide steady returns. This choice aligns with your goal of taking minimal risk.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential. These funds can be volatile but can offer significant returns over the long term. This investment adds a growth element to your portfolio.

Analyzing Your SIP Investments
Index Funds
You have invested in various index funds. Index funds track market indices and offer average market returns. They are cost-effective but do not aim to outperform the market. Actively managed funds, however, aim for higher returns through strategic investment decisions.

Actively Managed Funds
Your portfolio includes actively managed funds. These funds are managed by professional fund managers who aim to outperform market indices. Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes and potentially provide better returns than index funds.

Assessing Portfolio Balance
Your portfolio shows a mix of equity and balanced funds. This blend can provide growth while managing risk. However, the proportion of index funds suggests a need for a higher focus on active management for better returns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are overseen by experienced fund managers. They make strategic investment decisions based on market analysis. These funds aim to outperform the market, offering the potential for higher returns compared to index funds.

Drawbacks of Index Funds
Index funds simply track market indices, providing average returns. They lack the potential to outperform the market. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, leverage the expertise of fund managers to achieve better performance.

Advantages of Regular Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional guidance. CFPs help tailor investments to your financial goals and risk tolerance. This professional advice can enhance your investment strategy.

Importance of Periodic Review
Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio is crucial. Market conditions and personal circumstances change over time. Periodic reviews ensure your investments remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Diversification and Risk Management
Your portfolio is well-diversified across different fund categories. Diversification helps in spreading risk and optimizing returns. However, focusing more on actively managed funds can further enhance potential returns.

SIPs and Rupee Cost Averaging
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) offer the benefit of rupee cost averaging. Investing regularly helps mitigate the impact of market volatility. SIPs promote disciplined investing and can build substantial wealth over time.

Emergency Fund Consideration
Before investing, ensure you have an adequate emergency fund. This fund should cover at least six months of living expenses. It provides financial security and prevents the need to liquidate investments prematurely.

Tax Implications
Understanding tax implications is important for maximizing returns. Some funds offer tax benefits which can enhance post-tax returns. Consulting a tax expert or CFP can help optimize your investment strategy.

Conclusion
Babu, your mutual fund portfolio is diverse and shows a good understanding of long-term investment principles. A higher focus on actively managed funds and regular portfolio reviews can help achieve your retirement goals effectively. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice will ensure your investments remain aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

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Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

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