Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Sir., my monthly expense is 100000 now and monthly income from house rent is 40k. My age is 47., my pf as per today 50L. Share 8 L and FD 4L, SGB 12L. Maintain same lifestyle after 60., how much corpus I need and how much I should start investing. Kindly clarity

Ans: At age 47, it's commendable that you are thinking about your retirement needs. Maintaining your current lifestyle post-retirement requires careful planning. Let's analyse your current financial situation and what you need to achieve your retirement goals.

Current Financial Status
Your monthly expense is ?100,000, and your income from house rent is ?40,000.

You have accumulated significant assets:

Provident Fund (PF): ?50 Lakhs

Shares: ?8 Lakhs

Fixed Deposits (FD): ?4 Lakhs

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB): ?12 Lakhs

These assets show that you have diversified investments, which is excellent for balancing risk.

Estimating the Retirement Corpus
To maintain the same lifestyle after retirement, you need to consider inflation. Your expenses will likely increase over time due to inflation. Assuming a 6% annual inflation rate, your current monthly expenses of ?100,000 will be much higher when you retire at 60.

You'll need a corpus that can generate enough income to cover these expenses. Let's assume you live up to 85 years. This means your corpus should last for 25 years post-retirement.

Calculating the Required Corpus
Estimating the exact corpus involves complex calculations. A Certified Financial Planner can help with precise numbers. However, a rough estimate is that you need about 20-25 times your annual expenses at the time of retirement.

Given your current expenses, you might need a corpus of around ?6-7 crores, factoring in inflation.

Investment Strategy to Build the Corpus
You need to start investing more aggressively to reach your retirement goal. Here's a suggested strategy:

1. Increase Equity Investments

Equities typically offer higher returns compared to other asset classes. Consider increasing your investment in actively managed equity mutual funds. These funds are managed by professional fund managers who aim to outperform the market.

2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Start a SIP in mutual funds. It helps in averaging the cost of investment and provides disciplined investing. SIPs are ideal for long-term wealth creation.

3. Diversify Your Portfolio

Diversification reduces risk. You already have SGBs, FDs, and shares. Ensure a good mix of equity, debt, and gold. This balanced approach mitigates risks.

4. Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner can help tailor a plan specific to your needs. They can provide guidance on asset allocation, risk management, and tax efficiency.

Managing Your Existing Assets
Provident Fund (PF)

Your PF is a secure and stable investment. Continue contributing to it. It provides a safety net with assured returns.

Shares and Equity

Monitor your share portfolio regularly. Avoid putting all your money in one stock. Diversify across sectors to minimize risk.

Fixed Deposits (FD)

FDs are safe but offer lower returns. Consider using them for emergency funds or short-term goals.

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB)

SGBs are good for diversification. They also provide a hedge against inflation. Keep them as part of your portfolio.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Regularly review your financial plan. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and your changing needs. Stay informed and adapt to new financial opportunities.

Conclusion
Planning for retirement requires a strategic approach. Your current assets provide a strong foundation. By investing wisely and consulting a Certified Financial Planner, you can achieve your retirement goals.

You have already taken the first step by evaluating your needs. With disciplined investing, you can ensure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Oct 12, 2023

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 33 years old. I have mutual funds of ?20 lakhs and direct stocks of ?10 lakhs. I have a PF balance of 9 lakhs with monthly contributions of 20k towards it. I have NPS balance of 6 lakhs but no monthly contributions towards it. I have a FD of 11 lakhs. US stocks worth 1 lakh. I have a Home loan of 34 lakhs. How much should I invest every month to have a corpus of 10 crore at the age of 55?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your financial details and your goal of building a Rs 10 crore corpus by the age of 55. Achieving this ambitious target will require a well-structured investment plan and disciplined financial management. Let's break down the steps and strategies to help you reach your goal.

Current Financial Situation
Existing Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs 20 lakhs
Direct Stocks: Rs 10 lakhs
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 9 lakhs with monthly contributions of Rs 20,000
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 6 lakhs (no monthly contributions)
Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs 11 lakhs
US Stocks: Rs 1 lakh
Home Loan: Rs 34 lakhs
Total Assets and Liabilities
Total Assets: Rs 57 lakhs
Total Liabilities: Rs 34 lakhs (Home Loan)
Setting the Stage for Investment
To reach Rs 10 crore in 22 years, you need to adopt a mix of aggressive and balanced investment strategies. The following sub-headings will guide you through the process.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Diversification and Risk
Diversified Portfolio: Your portfolio includes mutual funds, direct stocks, PF, NPS, FD, and US stocks. This diversification is good as it spreads risk across different asset classes.
Risk Profile: At 33, you can afford to take higher risks for potentially higher returns, especially with your long investment horizon.
Investment Strategy
Monthly Investment Requirement
To determine how much you should invest monthly to achieve Rs 10 crore by age 55, we will assume an average annual return rate. Historically, equity markets have provided around 12-15% annual returns. Let’s proceed with a balanced approach assuming a 12% average annual return.

Monthly Investment Estimate: To reach Rs 10 crore in 22 years with a 12% annual return, you need to invest a significant amount monthly. Based on a financial projection, you will need to invest approximately Rs 40,000 to Rs 50,000 per month.
Enhancing Existing Investments
Increase Equity Exposure: Given your age, consider increasing your equity exposure for higher returns. Allocate more to mutual funds and direct stocks.
Regular NPS Contributions: Start contributing regularly to NPS to benefit from tax deductions and long-term growth.
Optimizing PF Contributions: Continue with PF contributions for a stable, low-risk investment.
Detailed Investment Plan
Mutual Funds
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Increase your SIP in equity mutual funds. Aim for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Balanced Funds: Consider balanced or hybrid funds for a mix of equity and debt exposure, providing stability and growth.
Review and Rebalance: Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Direct Stocks
Blue-chip Stocks: Invest in blue-chip stocks for stability and consistent returns.
Growth Stocks: Allocate a portion to high-growth stocks with the potential for higher returns, but with higher risk.
Regular Monitoring: Actively monitor your stock portfolio and stay updated with market trends.
Provident Fund (PF)
Consistent Contributions: Continue with the monthly contributions of Rs 20,000.
Interest Accumulation: PF offers compounded returns with minimal risk, contributing to long-term wealth.
National Pension System (NPS)
Regular Contributions: Start monthly contributions to NPS. Even Rs 5,000 per month can significantly impact your corpus.
Tax Benefits: Utilize the additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B) for NPS contributions.
Fixed Deposit (FD)
Review FD Returns: FDs offer low returns compared to equity investments. Consider reallocating a portion of FDs to mutual funds or stocks.
Emergency Fund: Maintain a portion in FDs for emergency liquidity needs.
Managing Home Loan
Prepayment Strategy
Early Prepayment: Consider prepaying your home loan whenever possible to save on interest costs. This will free up more funds for investment.
Tax Benefits: Balance the benefits of tax deductions on home loan interest with the interest savings from prepayment.
Tax Efficiency
Tax-Saving Investments
Section 80C: Maximize contributions to PF, NPS, and ELSS to avail tax benefits under Section 80C.
Section 80D: Utilize health insurance premiums for additional tax deductions.
Capital Gains Management
Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Plan your investments to minimize tax on long-term capital gains. Equity investments held for over a year are subject to favorable tax treatment.
Tax Harvesting: Use tax harvesting strategies to minimize tax liability on gains.
Monitoring and Review
Regular Portfolio Review
Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals.
Market Trends: Stay informed about market trends and economic changes that may impact your investments.
Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Consider consulting a CFP for personalized advice and portfolio management.
Investment Tools: Use financial planning tools and calculators to track your progress and adjust your strategy as needed.
Risk Management
Adequate Insurance Coverage
Life Insurance: Ensure you have sufficient life insurance coverage to protect your family’s financial future.
Health Insurance: Maintain comprehensive health insurance to cover medical expenses and avoid dipping into your investments.
Emergency Fund
Liquidity: Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of expenses.
Accessibility: Keep this fund in liquid and low-risk instruments like savings accounts or liquid mutual funds.
Behavioral Finance
Avoid Emotional Decisions
Discipline: Stick to your investment plan and avoid making emotional decisions based on market fluctuations.
Patience: Investing is a long-term game. Patience and discipline are key to achieving your financial goals.
Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs 10 crore by the age of 55 is ambitious but attainable with a disciplined and strategic approach. Increase your monthly investments to around Rs 40,000 to Rs 50,000, focusing on equity mutual funds, direct stocks, and regular NPS contributions. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio, consider prepaying your home loan to save on interest, and ensure adequate insurance coverage and an emergency fund. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance and help you stay on track. By maintaining discipline, patience, and informed decision-making, you can achieve your financial goals and secure your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Money
Hello Sir , I am 42 years old . I have one child 3 years old. I have invested in Max Life High Growth fund of one lakh per year which is 5 years now . Amount reflecting is 10 lakhs today. 5 years more to go for completion. I have my own house 62 lakhs just purchased . No loans . I recently purchased one more ulip policy midcap momentum 150 max life yearly one lakh for 10 years.I have invested in 3 Bhk apartment amount 1.7 cr which I will complete payment in next year. I earn around 36 to 40 lakhs per year. At present the expense is 50 thousand per month. How much amount should I invest yearly and where to develop a corpus of 5 cr at the age of 60 after deduction for one .child education. Thanks
Ans: First, let's understand your financial situation. You're 42, have a 3-year-old child, and a substantial annual income of Rs 36-40 lakhs. Your expenses are Rs 50,000 per month. You own a house worth Rs 62 lakhs and a 3BHK apartment for Rs 1.7 crores. No loans exist, and you’ve invested in ULIPs.

Compliments and Understanding
It's commendable that you've built a solid financial base and are debt-free. Your foresight in investing for the future is impressive. Let's plan for a corpus of Rs 5 crore by age 60, covering your child's education expenses too.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Max Life High Growth Fund
You’ve invested Rs 1 lakh per year in Max Life High Growth Fund for 5 years. It's now worth Rs 10 lakhs. This ULIP has 5 more years to go. Evaluating ULIPs for high charges and lower flexibility, consider other options for higher returns.

New ULIP Policy
You recently bought another ULIP policy (Midcap Momentum 150, Max Life) with Rs 1 lakh annually for 10 years. ULIPs have mixed reviews due to their high charges and lower liquidity compared to mutual funds.

Real Estate Investments
Owning a house and a 3BHK apartment indicates a strong asset base. However, real estate might not yield high liquidity or returns compared to other investments. We'll focus on diversifying your portfolio further.

Creating a Financial Plan
Defining Financial Goals
Your primary goal is accumulating Rs 5 crore by age 60. Secondary goals include funding your child’s education. Let's outline steps to achieve these objectives.

Diversification Strategy
Diversification is key to managing risk and maximizing returns. We'll explore various investment options, ensuring a balanced portfolio.

Mutual Funds: A Preferred Investment Avenue
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds offer high growth potential, suitable for long-term wealth accumulation. They invest in stocks, providing inflation-beating returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds are less risky, providing stable returns. They invest in fixed-income securities like bonds. They suit investors seeking steady income with lower risk.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds balance risk and return by investing in both equities and debt. They offer a diversified approach, suitable for moderate risk-takers.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential provides personalized advice. MFDs help choose funds aligning with your goals and offer ongoing portfolio management.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Regular Investments
Investing through SIPs in mutual funds is beneficial. It ensures disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Calculating SIP Amount
To accumulate Rs 5 crore by age 60, we need to determine the annual investment amount. Given your financial situation, a significant portion of your income can be allocated towards SIPs in equity and hybrid funds.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Long-Term Savings
PPF is a government-backed savings scheme offering attractive interest rates and tax benefits under Section 80C. It suits risk-averse investors seeking assured returns.

PPF Strategy
Investing a portion of your savings in PPF can provide a secure and stable return, balancing the overall risk of your portfolio.

National Pension System (NPS)
Retirement Planning
NPS is a government-sponsored pension scheme offering diversified investments in equities, corporate bonds, and government securities. It provides tax benefits and helps build a retirement corpus.

NPS Contributions
Allocating funds to NPS ensures a steady income post-retirement. It complements other investments, ensuring financial security in later years.

Gold: A Traditional and Reliable Asset
Gold ETFs and Sovereign Gold Bonds
Investing in Gold ETFs and Sovereign Gold Bonds offers benefits of gold without storage hassles. Sovereign Gold Bonds also provide periodic interest, enhancing returns.

Health and Term Insurance
Health Insurance
Comprehensive health insurance is crucial to cover medical expenses, protecting your savings and ensuring quality healthcare.

Term Insurance
Term insurance provides high life cover at low premiums. It ensures financial security for your family in case of your untimely demise. Choose a plan with adequate coverage.

Reviewing and Adjusting Investments
Regular Portfolio Review
Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio ensures it aligns with your goals. Make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Avoiding Emotional Investing
Stick to your financial plan and avoid making investment decisions based on emotions. Make informed decisions and seek professional advice when needed.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Professional Management
Actively managed funds are managed by professional fund managers. They conduct extensive research and make informed investment decisions, aiming to outperform the market.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have the potential to deliver higher returns compared to index funds. Fund managers can take advantage of market opportunities and mitigate risks through active management.

Flexibility
Actively managed funds offer flexibility in investment strategies. Fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions and economic trends, enhancing performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Lack of Flexibility
Index funds are passively managed and track a specific index. They lack flexibility to adjust to market conditions, which can limit returns.

Potential Underperformance
Index funds may underperform actively managed funds during market downturns. They cannot capitalize on market opportunities or mitigate risks effectively.

Limited Scope
Index funds have limited scope for diversification. They invest in a fixed set of securities, which might not align with your investment goals and risk tolerance.

Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs 5 crore by age 60 requires disciplined investing and strategic planning. Diversifying your investments across mutual funds, PPF, NPS, and gold ensures a balanced and robust portfolio. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures personalized advice and disciplined investing, helping you achieve long-term financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x