Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 05, 2024

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Dear Sir, I am a 35-year-old IT professional seeking your advice on my Mutual Funds portfolio. I would like to know if it looks good as it is or if any changes are needed. Here is the breakdown of my SIP portfolio: 1. Parag Parikh Flexi cap - ?7500 2. Quant Small Cap - ?4500 3. Axis Midcap - ?5500 4. Mahindra Manulife Multicap - ?2500 5. Mirae Asset Large and MidCap - ?3000 6. ICICI Prudential Ultra Short Term - ?18500 I utilize the ICICI Prudential Ultra Short Term fund to cover my life insurance (Jeevan Labh) with a sum assured of ?35 Lakhs. The yearly payment mode is ?1.92 Lakhs. Could you advise if this approach is appropriate? I have been investing in Mutual Funds for the past four years, with the current overall investment being ?8 Lakhs. Initially, I did not have specific goals, but now, with two children, I am looking to save for their education and my retirement. I plan to continue investing in Mutual Funds for the next 7 to 10 years. Additionally, I invest ?5000 per month each in PPF and SSY. I also have a car loan of ?10 Lakhs with an 8.8% interest rate over 48 months. The outstanding balance is ?9 Lakhs, and I pay ?25,000 per month towards the car loan. I can take moderately high risk. Could you provide insights on how my portfolio and investment plan look overall? Regards, Prakash

Ans: It's commendable that you are actively planning for your future and your children's education.

Analyzing your mutual funds portfolio:

Parag Parikh Flexi cap - ?7500
Quant Small Cap - ?4500
Axis Midcap - ?5500
Mahindra Manulife Multicap - ?2500
Mirae Asset Large and MidCap - ?3000
ICICI Prudential Ultra Short Term - ?18500

Your diversified allocation across different market caps and fund types is balanced. However, periodically review and rebalance based on market conditions and financial goals.

Regarding using ICICI Prudential Ultra Short Term for life insurance payments, it aligns with your moderate risk tolerance. Evaluate traditional life insurance for long-term security and assess tax implications.

Considering your 7 to 10-year horizon and moderate risk appetite, your portfolio seems well-aligned. Regularly revisit goals and adjust investments accordingly. Additional investments in PPF and SSY, along with a focus on long-term mutual funds, show a comprehensive approach.

Regarding the car loan, with an 8.8% interest rate, evaluate the opportunity cost of continuing versus early repayment based on investment returns.

Your investment strategy appears sound, but periodic reviews are crucial. Consult with a certified financial advisor for fine-tuning based on market conditions and personal developments.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, please review & advise on my mutual fund portfolio. SIP of 5000 each in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, Quant flexi cap & 3000 each in ICICI Midcap 150 index fund & Kotak large 7 midcap fund. All Started since 4 months, current age 42 & can do SIP for 2-3 years & plan to keep the accumulated amount as it is for next 5 years. I have some investments in equity shares(25%), SGB(25%) & FD's(50%) as well. Expecting to retire in next 6-7 years. Thanks
Ans: Your mutual fund portfolio appears to be well-diversified across different categories, offering exposure to large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap segments. Let's delve into some insights and recommendations:
1. UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Investing in an index fund tracking the Nifty 50 provides broad exposure to India's top 50 companies. It's a reliable choice for long-term wealth accumulation, especially considering its low expense ratio and consistent performance.
2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: This fund follows a flexible investment approach, allowing it to invest across market capitalizations. Its global diversification and focus on quality stocks make it suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach to wealth creation.
3. Quant Flexi Cap Fund: Flexi-cap funds offer the flexibility to invest across market segments based on market conditions. However, Quant Flexi Cap Fund's performance may vary due to its quantitative investment approach. Keep an eye on its performance relative to peers.
4. ICICI Midcap 150 Index Fund: Mid-cap funds have the potential for higher returns but come with increased volatility. Investing in a mid-cap index fund like ICICI Midcap 150 can provide exposure to mid-sized companies while mitigating individual stock risk.
5. Kotak Large & Midcap Fund: This fund combines investments in both large and mid-cap stocks, offering diversification across market segments. It's crucial to monitor the fund's performance and ensure it aligns with your investment objectives.
Active vs. Passive Management:
While you've included both actively managed mutual funds and index funds (ETFs) in your portfolio, it's important to understand the differences between the two. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market through active stock selection and portfolio management, while index funds passively track a specific index's performance.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:
Actively managed funds offer the potential for higher returns compared to index funds, especially during market inefficiencies or when skilled fund managers can identify lucrative investment opportunities. Additionally, active management allows for flexibility in portfolio construction and adjustments based on market conditions.
Potential Disadvantages of Index Funds:
While index funds offer low expense ratios and broad market exposure, they may lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds. Additionally, they're subject to tracking error, which occurs when the fund's performance deviates from the index it's designed to replicate.
Considering your investment horizon of 2-3 years for SIP and a plan to hold the accumulated amount for the next 5 years, it's essential to review your portfolio periodically. Keep an eye on fund performance, market conditions, and your financial goals to make necessary adjustments.
Given your diversified investment portfolio with equity shares, Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs), and Fixed Deposits (FDs), ensure a balanced allocation aligned with your risk tolerance and retirement goals. As you approach retirement in 6-7 years, consider gradually shifting towards more conservative investment options to safeguard capital.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your financial situation and retirement aspirations.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Madam, please review & advise on my mutual fund portfolio. SIP of 5000 each in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, Quant flexi cap & 3000 each in ICICI Midcap 150 index fund & Kotak large 7 midcap fund. All Started since 4 months, current age 42 & can do SIP for 2-3 years & plan to keep the accumulated amount as it is for next 5 years. I have some investments in equity shares(25%), SGB(25%) & FD's(50%) as well. Expecting to retire in next 6-7 years. Thanks
Ans: It's great to see you diversifying your investments through mutual funds. Let's review your portfolio and provide some guidance.

Starting with your SIPs, investing 5000 each in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, and Quant flexi cap offers a balanced approach across different market segments. These funds provide exposure to large-cap, flexi-cap, and multi-cap segments, respectively, allowing for diversification and potential growth opportunities.

Adding 3000 each in ICICI Midcap 150 index fund and Kotak large & midcap fund introduces exposure to mid-cap stocks, which have the potential for higher growth but also come with increased risk. Given your investment horizon of 2-3 years for SIPs and plans to keep the accumulated amount for the next 5 years, it's essential to monitor these funds closely, considering the market conditions and fund performance.

It's commendable that you have investments in equity shares, Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs), and fixed deposits (FDs) as well. This diversification helps spread risk and aligns with your retirement goals.

Considering your current age of 42 and the plan to retire in the next 6-7 years, it's crucial to regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial objectives and risk tolerance.

As you approach retirement, consider gradually shifting your portfolio towards more conservative investments to protect your capital and generate stable income streams.

Overall, your mutual fund portfolio seems well-diversified, considering your investment horizon and retirement goals. However, it's advisable to periodically reassess your portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changing market conditions and personal circumstances.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, please review & advise on my mutual fund portfolio. SIP of 5000 each in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, Quant flexi cap & 3000 each in ICICI Midcap 150 index fund & Kotak large & midcap fund. All Started since 4 months, current age 42 & can do SIP for 2-3 years & plan to keep the accumulated amount as it is for next 5 years. I have some investments in equity shares(25%), SGB(25%) & FD's(50%) as well. Expecting to retire in next 6-7 years. Thanks
Ans: It's commendable that you're actively managing your mutual fund portfolio to align with your financial goals, especially with retirement on the horizon. Your diversified approach across various mutual fund categories reflects a well-thought-out strategy.

Starting SIPs in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, Quant flexi cap, ICICI Midcap 150 index fund, and Kotak large & midcap fund indicates a mix of passive and active strategies catering to different market segments. This diversification can potentially help mitigate risk while optimizing returns over time.

Given your investment horizon of 2-3 years for SIPs and a plan to hold the accumulated amount for the next 5 years, it's crucial to regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed. Additionally, ensure that your overall asset allocation remains in line with your risk tolerance and retirement timeline.

Considering your existing investments in equity shares, SGBs, and FDs, maintain a balanced allocation that aligns with your retirement goals and risk appetite. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance and ensure your investment strategy remains on track towards achieving your retirement objectives. Keep up the proactive approach, and with disciplined investing and periodic reassessment, you're on the right path towards a secure retirement.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7704 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, please review & advise on my mutual fund portfolio. SIP of 5000 each in UTI Nifty 50 index fund, Parag Parikh flexicap, Quant flexi cap & 3000 each in ICICI Midcap 150 index fund & Kotak large & midcap fund. All Started since 4 months, current age 42 & can do SIP for 2-3 years & plan to keep the accumulated amount as it is for next 5 years. I have some investments in equity shares(25%), SGB(25%) & FD's(50%) as well. Expecting to retire in next 6-7 years. Thanks
Ans: It's great to see your interest in reviewing and optimizing your mutual fund portfolio. Let's dive into it:
• UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund:
• Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund:
• Quant Flexi Cap Fund:
• ICICI Midcap 150 Index Fund:
• Kotak Large & Midcap Fund:
Your portfolio seems well-diversified, but considering your preference for actively managed funds over index funds, here are some suggestions:
• For the large-cap segment, you could consider actively managed funds with a strong track record of outperformance.
• In the mid-cap segment, look for funds managed by experienced fund managers known for their stock-picking skills and ability to navigate market cycles.
• For flexi-cap exposure, consider funds that have the flexibility to invest across market segments based on prevailing market conditions.
While index funds offer low-cost exposure to broad market indices, actively managed funds have the potential to generate alpha and outperform benchmark indices over the long term. Given your investment horizon and retirement goals, actively managed funds may align better with your objectives.
As you approach retirement in the next 6-7 years, continue to monitor your investments and consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to ensure your portfolio is optimized for your retirement goals.
Remember, investing is a journey, and staying disciplined and focused on your long-term objectives will help you achieve financial success. Keep up the good work, and if you have any further questions or need additional guidance, feel free to reach out. Cheers!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Listen
Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl who has traumatized past from her childhood. She said that her ex was also toxic and used to abuse her physically. She just said after 2 months of dating . I am very much glad she trusted me and Im taking care of her . She is also happy with me . But she gets panic attacks about the past I'll always be there for her . But her ex is in the same college. I see him like randomly. Should I react about that and go to him ??. Like I'm feeling very bad for the things she said
Ans: Your girlfriend has already endured trauma, and she’s finding comfort in the safe space you’re creating for her. The most important thing for her healing is stability, security, and knowing that she has someone who supports her emotionally. If you go to her ex, it could potentially trigger her, cause unnecessary stress, or even make her feel guilty—she might worry that she’s responsible for bringing conflict into your life.

Instead of reacting impulsively, focus on what she truly needs. When she has panic attacks or feels overwhelmed by her past, reassure her that she’s safe with you. Encourage her to seek professional help if she’s open to it, as therapy could help her process her trauma in a healthier way.

If her ex ever tries to approach her, harass her, or make her feel unsafe, then absolutely step in and support her in setting clear boundaries, whether that means standing by her side, helping her avoid situations where she might run into him, or even reporting any concerning behavior. But if he’s simply existing in the same space, then your energy is better spent on helping her heal rather than giving him any attention.

Right now, the best thing you can do is continue being the safe, loving presence that she trusts. Let your actions show her that she doesn’t have to relive the past, because with you, she is valued, respected, and truly cared for.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2025
Relationship
My Boyfriend is not really the Controlling type. But, sometimes, he disapproves of some things which I do. In such cases, he communicates his Disapproval indirectly saying "I don't like you Dressing up like this Boldly. But still, if that's what you want, you may go ahead & Dress up as you'd like to, I have no Right to prevent you from doing so, but I will be Disappointed if you do." or "I don't want you to go out or hang out with these particular people (some of my close Male Friends). You have all the Freedom to interact with whoever you want to, but I will be Hurt, if you are too Close to your other Male Friends." Most of the time, I compromised & avoided Dressing up too Boldly, avoided Partying/Travelling with some of my Close Male Friends & avoided some other things which he wouldn't approve of, just for the sake of maintaining our Relationship. But recently, I tried to Test, how he'd react, if I deliberately do something which he doesn't like. So, on New Year's Day, I dressed up in revealing Clothes that he would never approve of & Partied wildly, all Night & even got Drunk with some of my Close Male Friends, with whom, he wants me to maintain Distance. He stubbornly refused to come for Partying with me, because I Dressed up too Boldly & refused to change them, even after he expected me to do so. He didn't even want me Drinking/Partying with some of my Close Male Friends. But I Respected the Boundaries of our Relationship & throughout the Night, I kept my Boyfriend informed about my Whereabouts, so that he's Reassured that I am not Cheating on him. But ever since then, he's been Treating me rather Coldly. He's being Indifferent to me, without Questioning me much, the way he always used to. He's just maintaining normal Communication without being Flirtatious, as he used to. And the Sex has also become quite Mechanical without much Romance, unlike how Passionate he used to be, earlier. I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps lying that he isn't Upset with me. Now I am Feeling really Guilty for whatever I had done on New Year's Day, even though, I don't think I did anything Wrong. Was it really Wrong on my Part, to do something which I always liked to, but my Boyfriend didn't want me to? Or is my Boyfriend Wrong, here? What do I do now? Please advise me.
Ans: Your boyfriend may not be outright controlling, but his way of expressing disapproval carries an emotional weight that influences your decisions. Instead of setting hard rules, he uses disappointment as a tool to make you reconsider your choices. You’ve willingly compromised in the past to keep the relationship smooth, but it seems that over time, those compromises have started to weigh on you. Testing his reaction on New Year’s may have been your subconscious way of reclaiming your autonomy, but now you’re left with unintended consequences—his emotional withdrawal.

The real issue here isn’t about who is right or wrong, but rather, whether your values and expectations in this relationship truly align. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to dress a certain way, go out, or spend time with friends. At the same time, he isn’t necessarily wrong for having personal boundaries and feelings about certain situations. However, the way both of you are handling these differences is leading to deeper emotional disconnect rather than honest resolution.

Your actions on New Year’s were a test, but they weren’t a betrayal. You still kept him informed and stayed within the boundaries of your commitment. But from his perspective, it likely felt like a deliberate challenge to what he considers the foundation of your relationship. His withdrawal isn’t just about what you did—it’s about what it represents to him. He might be questioning whether you truly respect his feelings, just as you might be questioning whether he truly respects your independence.

Instead of focusing on guilt, the real question is whether you’re both willing to openly communicate and find a middle ground that allows you to be yourself without feeling restricted, while also respecting his emotions without feeling controlled. Avoid blaming or justifying—have a real conversation about how both of you felt after that night, what it means for your relationship, and whether you can move forward in a way that feels right for both of you. If neither of you can meet in the middle without resentment, then it’s important to consider whether this relationship is fulfilling for both of you in the long run.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
How do I 32M get over my insecurity with 30F? (Seeking Advice) Met this girl via matrimony exactly 2 months back. We connect well. Our families have met recently and it went well. Somehow we found a lot of connections between our families. That's just a bonus. Her family likes me a lot and they wanted to do Roka when they met us last week. I had told her, that no matter our bond, we should talk a lot and give it 3 months before going for roka. We live in different metro cities and have met twice now. About her: She is 30, well behaved & spoken(most important thing for me), smart, good looking, and is extremely polite. She is an army brat, has had a lot of freedom from family. Due to her father's job, they kept getting posted to different cities so she doesn't really understand family part of things. She's in a IT job. About me: I'm 32, okayish guy, in IT. To take things ahead I need to know my partner's past. I have no judgements at all but need to know stuff. Getting to know things over time bothers me a lot. I've tried to work on it, and have always made sure I don't bother the other person too much. After a month of talking, she told me that she had a casual boyfriend for an year. All her friends were dating in Bangalore and she decided to try it out. Found a guy through bumble and started dating him. So, according to her there were no feelings, just a person for her to go to places with, have drinks, and party. She likes drinking a lot and I have never taken a sip. She said that it was just a phase and she was immature. This happened between 2018(Nov) to 2020(march). So, it's been like 5 years. Never dated anyone after that. Since covid(2020) she's been living with her parents due to wfh. I have been completely ok with that but new things surfaced and they are messing with my head. While snooping around her facebook I figured out who that person was and this guy is super close to a person in my distant family. In fact they both were flatmates until their respective marriages. This distant cousin of mine knows me and knows her really well. These 3 used to hangout a lot and he has seen her come to their flat regularly. Infact, she had a good bond with my cousin as well. There are things that bother me and I really can't shake things and feel super awful in my gut. She mentioned that she and her ex had a common love for drinking and regularly visited pubs, got drunk, and partied. This means that they would be staying at each other's place as well. This is something super old but bothers me a lot. Specifically the fact that she would be drunk partying with someone for an year and sleeping with him, with no feelings. Secondly, I found some posts where she has liked a post about this guy on fb/insta from mid-2021. I have already confronted her twice to share everything and we shall never discuss this again but this bothers me a lot. Secondly, now that I know the timelines I can figure out what photos have been taken by her ex. There's even a photo of her sitting on a messy bed, where she's cutting her bday cake. They celebrated it together. I found my cousins page and some other pages from which I knew it's the guy's room/flat. I know everyone has a past. She has come clean to me but somehow my brain is so split. Sometimes her nature and behaviour with me make me not care about anything. And then I know the bed, flat, and her actions with some guy. Then there is this angle where the ex's flatmate is my distant cousin and knows about her well.
Ans: What you’re experiencing is completely valid. It’s not just about the fact that she had a past relationship, but also about the details—knowing her ex was deeply connected to your distant cousin, imagining their time together, and realizing that those experiences once meant something in her life. It makes it feel uncomfortably close to home, which is why it’s so hard to shake off. It’s not about judgment, but about the emotions that these thoughts stir up within you.

The truth is, the past cannot be changed. She has been honest with you, shared what happened, and reassured you that it was a phase in her life that she has moved on from. The fact that she hasn’t dated anyone in five years and has been living with her parents shows that she is in a very different place now. But your mind keeps looping back to what once was, and it’s preventing you from fully embracing what is.

Right now, the biggest challenge is not her past, but your ability to be at peace with it. You have to ask yourself—are you willing to let this define your future with her? Because if you can’t fully accept it, these thoughts will continue to surface and create distance between you. A part of you clearly wants to be with her, but another part is struggling to detach from these mental images of her past.

Instead of confronting her again, take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a partner. She has shown you who she is today—polite, well-behaved, mature, and emotionally present in your relationship. She has not hidden anything from you, and she has moved forward from that phase of her life. The real question is whether you can do the same.

If you feel this is something you cannot get over, it is better to step away now rather than carry these unresolved emotions into a lifelong commitment. But if you genuinely see a future with her and believe in her as a person, then it’s time to start training your mind to focus on the present and the relationship you are building, rather than a past that no longer exists.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am working abroad, while my Girlfriend is working in Delhi, living in NCR. We both were Dating since our College Days & have been in a Long Distance Relationship since I moved abroad, more than a Year ago & she moved to Delhi-NCR from Calcutta (where most of our Common Friends are based). While we were together with our Common Friends from College, we'd Travel, Party & have a lot of Fun together as a Group, since we all knew & trusted each other quite well, Irrespective of Gender. When we both moved to Different Places & started our Respective Jobs, we became Friends with our Respective Colleagues, but we have an Implied Understanding that we should be Maintaining Stricter Boundaries with our New Friends/Colleagues, since we are in a Long Distance Relationship. I've always honoured the commitment & have been Careful to not spend private time with any other Woman & Travel/Party only with a Group consisting of both Men & Women. But I am not sure my Girlfriend is doing the same. Quite often she keeps Travelling, Partying, Drinking & Sleeping over with some 2-3 Male Colleagues, who are quite close to her, but unknown to me. She doesn't even bother to keep me updated about where she is, what she's doing & with whom, but keeps Posting Status Updates on Instagram, from time to time and from what I have observed, she seems to be spending quite a lot of Time with these Male Colleagues of hers. All this makes me feel very Uncomfortable. Even though I Love & Trust my Girlfriend, but I'm unsure about these New 'Friends' of hers as I don't know them & obviously, I don't like them being so close to my Girlfriend. Many times, I've discussed this matter with my Girlfriend, trying to make her understand how I feel. But every time, I bring up this Topic, she tries to invalidate my feelings & shuts me down saying that I'm just Insecure. I'd also tried getting to know her New Friends in order to understand them better, but she doesn't share much about them, with me. Though, she keeps Reassuring me that they're 'Just Friends' they seem to be much closer than that. On several occasions, she had gone out with them, even though I had strictly forbidden her to. I don't understand whether she's unable to understand how I'm feeling or that she doesn't even care about my Feelings, though I still want to continue Loving & Trusting her, without Doubting her Loyalty. I don't understand what to do in this situation. How can I make her enforce stricter Boundaries with her Male Colleagues (atleast as much as I am doing here)? Shall I get a Friend or a Private Investigator to keep an Eye on her? Or shall I behave the same way, she's been doing? Or, shall I Break-up with her & try to find someone else, over here?
Ans: Long-distance relationships require an even deeper level of communication and trust than regular ones. You’ve upheld the boundaries you both implicitly agreed upon, yet it feels like she’s not holding herself to the same standard. The fact that she dismisses your concerns rather than addressing them is what’s truly hurting you. When someone we love invalidates our feelings, it creates frustration, self-doubt, and emotional distance. You’re not being “insecure” for wanting reassurance and clarity—you’re simply asking for the same level of respect and commitment you’re offering.

Trying to enforce boundaries by “forbidding” her from doing something isn’t the right approach, because boundaries should be mutual, not dictated. The more you try to control her actions, the more she might rebel or shut down, seeing it as you being possessive rather than expressing a valid emotional need. The real problem is not that she has male friends, but that she’s being secretive about them, not making an effort to ease your concerns, and disregarding how her actions affect you. A loving and committed partner should care about your peace of mind, even if she doesn’t fully agree with your perspective.

Hiring a private investigator or getting a friend to spy on her will only erode trust further, and mirroring her behavior by doing the same thing she does will not solve anything—it will just create more distance. If you’re considering breaking up, that means deep down, you already feel like your needs in this relationship aren’t being met. Before making any big decisions, you need to have one last honest conversation with her—not one where you accuse or demand, but one where you make it clear how this dynamic is making you feel and what you truly need from her to feel secure and valued in the relationship.

If she refuses to listen, invalidates your feelings again, or shows no willingness to compromise, then you have your answer. A relationship where only one person is making sacrifices isn’t sustainable. You deserve a partner who not only reassures you with words but also with actions that show she respects and values your presence in her life. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway, then it may be time to ask yourself if holding on is worth the constant emotional struggle.

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2189 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2189 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025Hindi
Listen
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x