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25-Year-Old Software Engineer: Right Track to House & Passive Income?

Sunil

Sunil Lala  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jul 28, 2024

Sunil Lala founded SL Wealth, a company that offers life and non-life insurance, mutual fund and asset allocation advice, in 2005. A certified financial planner, he has three decades of domain experience. His expertise includes designing goal-specific financial plans and creating investment awareness. He has been a registered member of the Financial Planning Standards Board since 2009.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I'm 25 years old, working as a software engineer. I earn around 1.2L a month in hand and I have an SIP corpus of about 1L. I'm hoping to step up my SIP investment to 25000 a month. I don't see any sizable expenses coming up except for when I get married in a year or two. But that aside, I do have a dream of having my own house by when I'm 35 years of age and at the same time, invest money in something that would generate income passively. Am I on the right track to meet my goals and do you have any advice for me?

Ans: You are on the right track but make a good financial plan with help of a certified financial planner to reach to your financial goals
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I'm 31 years old and having a monthly take home around 1 Lakh , I have FD of 6 Lakh, PPF of 2.50 L, NPS of 1 Lakh and Mutual Fund of 8 Lakh ( 2 Flexi Fund, 2 Mid Cap Fund, 2 Small Cap, 1 BAF and 1 ELSS) with monthly SIP 55000. I have no loan. I have only two major goals as of now as I don't have any kid: Goal 1. Need to generate a corpus of 1 Cr. In next 5 year to buy a house , will this be possible with this SIP Plan? Goal 2- I need to retire by age 50 with 10 Crores of corpus at present value. Will my SIP suffice if not then by what % I need to increase it YoY if I don't wanna increase the SIP value? Please help me with your invaluable advice :)
Ans: Creating a robust financial plan to achieve your goals of buying a house and retiring early is essential. At 31 years old with a strong monthly income and substantial investments, you are well-positioned to reach your financial objectives. Let's analyze your current financial situation and strategize to meet your goals of buying a house worth Rs. 1 crore in the next five years and retiring by 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Investments
Your monthly take-home salary is Rs. 1 lakh. Here's a breakdown of your current investments:

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 6 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 2.5 lakhs
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 1 lakh
Mutual Funds (MF): Rs. 8 lakhs across various funds
Monthly SIP: Rs. 55,000
Your disciplined investment approach is commendable and sets a solid foundation for achieving your financial goals.

Goal 1: Generating a Corpus of Rs. 1 Crore in 5 Years
Current SIP Analysis
To determine if your current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month can help you achieve a corpus of Rs. 1 crore in five years, let's consider the potential growth of your investments. Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, the future value of your SIPs can be estimated.

With a consistent SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month, you are on track to achieve substantial growth. However, it's important to regularly review and adjust your investments based on market performance and your financial goals.

Additional Strategies
If your current SIP falls short of the Rs. 1 crore target, consider these strategies:

Increase SIP Contributions: If feasible, gradually increase your SIP contributions each year. A 10-15% annual increase can significantly boost your corpus.

Lump Sum Investments: Allocate a portion of your FD or other savings to a lump sum investment in equity mutual funds. This can provide higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Review and Rebalance Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to optimize returns.

Goal 2: Retiring by Age 50 with a Corpus of Rs. 10 Crores
Assessing Your Retirement Goal
To retire by age 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores, you need to ensure that your investments are growing at a healthy rate. Considering you have 19 years until you reach 50, let's evaluate if your current SIPs and investments are sufficient.

Calculating Required SIP Growth
Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, let's estimate the future value of your current SIPs and the additional contributions needed:

Current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month:

Projected Future Value (FV) at 12% annual return over 19 years can be significant but may need a boost.
Increasing SIP Contributions Annually:

To avoid increasing the SIP value drastically, you can opt for a systematic increase of 10-15% per year. This approach leverages the power of compounding and incremental growth.
Additional Investments and Strategies
To bridge any gaps and ensure you meet your retirement goal, consider the following:

Utilize Annual Bonuses and Increments: Allocate any annual bonuses, increments, or windfalls towards your investment corpus.

Optimize Tax Savings: Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS. This not only reduces your tax liability but also boosts your investment corpus.

Diversify Investments: Ensure a mix of equity and debt investments. Equity funds provide growth, while debt funds offer stability and risk mitigation.

Detailed Investment Plan and Strategies
Fixed Deposits (FD)
Your current FD of Rs. 6 lakhs is a safe but low-return investment. Consider reallocating a portion of this to higher-yield investments like mutual funds or direct equity. Retain some amount in FD for emergency liquidity.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a long-term investment with tax benefits. Continue your annual contributions to PPF, as it provides stable returns and tax-free maturity. Aim to maximize your yearly contribution limit to Rs. 1.5 lakhs.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good retirement savings tool. Continue your contributions to NPS, considering the tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD. You can increase your contributions periodically to enhance your retirement corpus.

Mutual Funds
Your current mutual fund portfolio is well-diversified across flexi, mid-cap, small-cap, BAF, and ELSS funds. Here's a detailed strategy to optimize your mutual fund investments:

Flexi Funds: Continue your investments in flexi funds as they provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, offering balanced risk and return.

Mid and Small Cap Funds: These funds have high growth potential but come with higher risk. Maintain a balanced allocation and review performance periodically.

Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF): BAFs provide a balanced approach with a mix of equity and debt. Continue your SIP in BAF for risk management and steady returns.

Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): ELSS offers tax benefits under Section 80C and good returns. Continue your SIP in ELSS for tax-efficient growth.

Future Strategy and Incremental SIP Increase
To achieve your long-term goal of Rs. 10 crores by retirement, an annual incremental increase in SIPs is advisable. Assuming a 10-15% annual increase in SIPs, you can significantly enhance your investment corpus. Here's how:

Year 1: Rs. 55,000
Year 2: Rs. 60,500 (10% increase)
Year 3: Rs. 66,550 (10% increase)
Year 4: Rs. 73,205 (10% increase)
Year 5: Rs. 80,526 (10% increase)
By following this incremental approach, your SIP contributions will grow substantially, leveraging the power of compounding to reach your financial goals.

Risk Management and Contingency Planning
Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in liquid assets like savings accounts or short-term FDs.

Insurance
Life Insurance: Adequate life insurance coverage is essential to protect your family’s financial future. Consider term insurance for high coverage at low premiums.

Health Insurance: Ensure you and your family have comprehensive health insurance coverage to safeguard against medical emergencies and expenses.

Tax Planning and Efficiency
Maximize Tax-saving Investments
Utilize the full benefits of Section 80C by contributing to PPF, ELSS, NPS, and other eligible investments. Efficient tax planning reduces your tax liability and increases your investable surplus.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Annual Portfolio Review
Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to assess performance and make necessary adjustments. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Rebalancing
Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves selling over-performing assets and reinvesting in underperforming ones to manage risk and optimize returns.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Engaging a CFP can provide expert advice and tailored financial planning. A CFP helps you navigate complex financial decisions and stay on track to achieve your goals.

Final Insights
Achieving your financial goals of buying a house and retiring early requires disciplined planning and strategic investments. By increasing your SIP contributions, optimizing your portfolio, and leveraging tax-efficient investments, you can create substantial wealth.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay aligned with your goals. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and support in your financial journey.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. With the right strategies and disciplined execution, you can achieve your goals and secure a prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi
Money
My age is 27, would be 28 in october. My current salary is 98k per month including shift allowance. I am married and stay in a rented apartment with rent 12000rs per month. My wife earns 20k per month(15-16k due to leaves and bad company policies).No kids and not planning for atleast 4-5 years. I have started investing 10k in sip(7 sips..large cap, mid cap, small cap, multicap, elss funds). I work from home and don't have a habit of travelling much. Monthly home spend is around 10k(I like to keep cost as low as possible since I like to save money. I look for deals where ever possible which helps to save alot of money). I spend 10k home every month and have a 27k medical insurance for my parents. Can you give me a good investment plan since I have no idea where to invest and have a good future. I still haven't bought a flat since my h1b is in process and I would purchase once I'm back to India. I have 11L(12L this month end) in savings account
Ans: You are already showing great discipline by saving and investing regularly. Let us build a solid 360° financial roadmap for your future, considering your age, income, goals, and priorities.

Income, Expenses & Savings Snapshot
Age: 27 (turning 28 in October)

Your salary: Rs. 98k/month (includes shift allowance)

Your wife’s income: Rs. 15–16k/month (based on work situation)

Combined monthly income: approximately Rs. 1.13 lakh

Rent: Rs. 12k/month

Household expenses: Rs. 10k/month

Parents’ medical insurance: Rs. 27k/year

Total fixed monthly expenses ~ Rs. 22k excluding rent

You have savings: Rs. 11–12 lakh in savings account

Current SIP investments: 7 funds across large, mid, small, multicap, ELSS totaling Rs. 10k/month

Step 1: Establish Emergency Fund
You have Rs. 11–12 lakh in savings.

Allocate Rs. 3.5–4 lakh as emergency buffer (~3–4 months of expenses).

Keep it in a liquid debt mutual fund via a regular plan.

This ensures safety, liquidity, and better returns than bank savings.

Place the remaining savings into your financial goals (explained later).

Step 2: Build Core Investment Goals
A. Retirement Planning
You’re young with 30+ years ahead.

Retirement corpus needs long-term growth.

Start a Rs. 5k monthly Sip in actively managed, diversified equity fund.

Avoid index funds – they passively follow markets and don’t adjust allocation.

Choose regular plans via an MFD with CFP, not direct plans.

This gives guidance, rebalancing, and emotional discipline.

B. Children Planning (from 2026 onward)
No urgency until 4–5 years later.

Plan for education fund building around 2026.

From 2026, invest Rs. 5k–10k/month in a child-focused mutual fund.

Use balanced or hybrid funds that offer some debt buffer.

Regular plan guidance ensures timely review.

C. Home Purchase Fund (Post H1B)
You plan to buy a flat after return to India.

Set aside Rs. 5–6 lakh from savings as preliminary down payment fund.

Park this in a low-risk debt fund (short-term or low-duration) via regular plan.

Add Rs. 5k/month to this fund after emergency buffer is built.

D. Wealth Accumulation
You hold multiple SIPs (seven funds) of Rs. 10k/month.

Continue them if they meet your risk-return needs.

But consider consolidating overlapping fund strategies.

Consolidation reduces complexity and improves tracking.

Step 3: Optimize & Consolidate Portfolio
A. Review Current SIP Funds
Large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, multi-cap, ELSS: diversity is good.

But seven funds may cause overlap.

Identify the core top 3 equity funds that give broad market coverage and strong performance.

Continue those as your core.

Use other thematic or smaller funds as satellites, not primary.

B. Reduce Overlap
Overlap happens when multiple funds share similar holdings.

Ask your CFP or MFD to run overlap analysis.

Consolidate overlapping funds into stronger, well-performing funds.

This reduces churn and enhances tracking.

C. Retain Thematic ETFs (via mutual funds)
Global themes (if you hold any) can add value but keep them small (5–10% of equity).

Your focus should be on broad Indian equity first.

Any diversification to global equity should be via actively managed mutual funds, not ETFs or index funds.

Step 4: Cash Deployment of Savings
You have Rs. 11–12 lakh idle. Here’s how to deploy:

Emergency fund: Rs. 3.5–4 lakh in liquid mutual funds

Child planning: Rs. 5–6 lakh parked in low-duration debt fund

Retirement: Top up with Rs. 1 lakh from savings into retirement equity SIP

Home fund: Top up initiative with Rs. 1 lakh in short-term debt fund

This ensures structured use of savings aligned with financial goals.

Step 5: Monthly Cash Flow & SIP Strategy
Let’s plan monthly investments strategically:

Continue current Rs. 10k SIPs

Add retirement SIP of Rs. 5k actively managed equity fund

Add child fund SIP Rs. 5k (starts 2026)

Add home fund SIP Rs. 5k in debt fund

Total monthly SIP after this deployment: Rs. 25k new + Rs. 10k existing = Rs. 35k

Keep surplus for lifestyle, investments, or bonuses.

Step 6: Insurance Intake & Protection Needs
Life insurance:

At your age, with combined income ~ Rs. 13–14 lakh/year, you need a pure term cover sum assured of Rs. 1–1.5 crore.

This protects wife and future child in income loss.

Health insurance:

You already have Rs. 27k/year parents cover.

Add personal family floater plan of Rs. 5–10 lakh to cover medical emergencies.

This is crucial before starting family and for long-term protection.

Disability/Accident cover:

You may consider a small premium-term rider for income protection in case of disability.

Optional but useful given shift allowance dependency.

Step 7: Tax Planning
SIPs in equity funds qualify under new mutual fund LTCG tax rule:

Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

STCG taxed at 20%

Use ELSS fund for sectional 80C deduction, up to Rs. 1.5 lakh limit

Retirement SIP may qualify for 80C/80CCD (depending on fund type and structure)

Avoid frequent withdrawals to reduce tax.

Keep long-term horizon on equity investments.

Step 8: Risk & Asset Allocation
Given your profile:

Age 27, risk appetite likely high, with long horizon

Asset mix guidance:

Equity: 60–70%

Debt: 20–30%

Liquid/emergency: 10–15%

Your current mix:

Equity via SIPs across categories (good)

Debt via home rent saving fund

You need clear emergency and insurance buffer

This allocation aligns with your age and goals.

Step 9: Review, Rebalance & Monitoring
Meet CFP every 6 months with MFD to review portfolio

Rebalance allocation if equity or debt drifts by ±10%

Watch asset overlap, performance, and goal alignment

Increase SIP amounts gradually with income growth

Example adjustments:

Step up retirement SIP from Rs. 5k to 10k in two years

Add child fund after medical planning begins

After flat purchase, reduce home fund and allocate to retirement

Step 10: Lifestyle, Goals & Flexibility
You keep lifestyle simple and frugal—this is an excellent habit

Focus on saving and investing, not buying assets prematurely

Delay big spending until after H1B return and salary clarity

Stay flexible and responsive to life changes like kids or relocation

360° Financial Roadmap Summary
Build an emergency fund in liquid mutual funds (~Rs. 4 lakh)

Park home down-payment fund in low-risk debt mutual funds (~Rs. 6 lakh)

Launch a retirement-focused equity SIP (Rs. 5k monthly)

Continue and optimize your existing SIPs via consolidation

Add insurance: term life cover Rs. 1–1.5 crore, family floater health cover

Use ELSS under 80C for tax savings

Maintain your frugal lifestyle and high savings discipline

Rebalance and review every 6 months via CFP guidance

Step?up SIPs with bonus or salary increment

Prepare for child-related expenses from year 2026 onward

Final Insights
Your saving discipline at age 27 is impressive

You have a strong head-start

Now build emergency security, retirement growth, and insurance cover

Consolidate investments to reduce clutter and enhance clarity

Use actively managed funds through a CFP-guided MFD

Avoid index and direct funds for long?term funds

Plan for child's future and home purchase mindfully

Stay focused on goals and flexible with life changes

You are laying a strong foundation for future financial strength and flexibility. With consistent execution, periodic reviews, and strategic adjustments, you are likely to meet your long?term goals calmly and confidently.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Im 43 with 1 lac in hand investing 15k in sip from last 5monts monthly expenses are 70K excluding SIP. Plan to buy a house which will cost 2cr. How do i go about and how much should i have by retirement and how do i make that money with the house buying plan etc
Ans: ? Current Financial Snapshot

– You are 43 years old. That gives around 15–17 years to build wealth.
– You have Rs.1 lakh in hand as lump sum.
– You are investing Rs.15,000 monthly through SIPs for 5 months.
– Your household expenses are Rs.70,000 monthly. SIP is not included in this amount.
– You plan to buy a house worth Rs.2 crore.
– You also want to plan for your retirement.

This is a good step. You are already disciplined with SIPs. Keep it up.

Let us now look at each goal deeply.

? House Purchase Plan of Rs.2 Crore

– Buying a Rs.2 crore house is a big decision.
– It will need a careful and strategic financial preparation.
– A typical home loan can go up to 75% to 80% of the house value.
– That means, minimum Rs.40 lakh as down payment is required.
– You will also need Rs.10–15 lakh for registration and interiors.
– So your total own fund requirement is around Rs.50–55 lakh.

Now let’s look at how you can reach that amount.

– You are already doing SIP of Rs.15,000 per month.
– If you increase it slowly over time, the corpus will grow faster.
– But SIP alone may not be enough for such a big goal in short time.
– You may need to consider a combination of savings, bonuses, and planned borrowings.
– Avoid using retirement funds for house purchase. Keep goals separate.
– Also, don’t delay too much, as property prices and costs may rise.

A Certified Financial Planner can help you do a home-buying readiness check.

? Loan Readiness and EMI Impact

– A Rs.1.5 crore loan for 20 years can have EMI near Rs.1.3 lakh.
– But your current monthly surplus is not enough to support that EMI.
– Your current monthly expense is Rs.70,000. SIP is Rs.15,000.
– So, total outgoing is Rs.85,000.
– Unless your income increases significantly, EMI pressure will be high.

Here's what you can do:

– Delay home purchase by few years and save aggressively till then.
– Build Rs.50–60 lakh for down payment and reduce loan amount.
– This will make EMI manageable and reduce interest burden.
– Keep EMIs within 40–45% of your income for comfort.
– Factor in property tax, maintenance, and insurance.

Be cautious. Don’t compromise on long-term wealth for short-term ownership.

? Retirement Planning Assessment

– You have about 17 years left for retirement.
– Monthly expense now is Rs.70,000. At 6% inflation, it may be Rs.2 lakh+ at retirement.
– So, you must create a good-sized retirement corpus.
– It must support you for 25–30 years post-retirement.
– Even without medical emergencies, retirement life needs a big corpus.

Here’s what you can do:

– Continue SIP of Rs.15,000. Increase it by 10% every year.
– Make retirement your primary goal. Home can wait a few years.
– Use mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
– Choose diversified, actively managed funds for long-term growth.

Please avoid index funds. Index funds lack active risk control.
They follow the market. They don’t beat it.
They don’t have downside protection in falling markets.
An actively managed fund is handled by a skilled fund manager.
He/she can shift allocations based on market signals.
This brings better growth and lower risk over long term.

Also, don’t pick direct mutual funds on your own.
Direct plans may look cheaper. But they lack expert guidance.
Wrong fund selection can reduce long-term returns.
When you invest through a CFP and MFD in regular plans, you get:
– Right fund choices
– Periodic review
– Rebalancing help
– Goal alignment

That value is bigger than small cost difference.

? Protection and Emergency Fund Planning

– You didn’t mention insurance or emergency fund.
– That’s a major missing block in your financial plan.
– You must have term life cover of at least 15–20 times your income.
– Health insurance for all family members is a must.
– Also create emergency fund of 6–9 months of expenses.

This gives peace of mind and avoids breaking investments in crisis.

Buy pure term insurance. No ULIP or combo plans.
If you have LIC or ULIP plans, consider surrendering them.
Reinvest the surrender value into mutual funds.
Traditional policies give low returns. ULIPs have high charges.
They are not suitable for wealth creation.

? Expense and Budget Optimisation

– Monthly expenses of Rs.70,000 are reasonable if you earn well.
– But try to save at least 25–30% of income regularly.
– Create a smart monthly budget.
– Cut unnecessary spends.
– Avoid EMIs for lifestyle expenses.
– Increase SIPs every year as income grows.
– Avoid withdrawing from mutual funds for small needs.

Use every bonus or windfall to boost your SIP or emergency fund.

? Tax Planning Angle

– You must use tax-saving options smartly.
– ELSS mutual funds can save tax under 80C and grow your wealth.
– Avoid locking money in PPF, NSC, or traditional LIC policies.
– Invest in tax-saving instruments with long-term growth.

Know the latest mutual fund taxation:

– LTCG on equity funds above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG on equity taxed at 20%.
– Debt funds taxed as per your income slab.

Plan your withdrawals wisely to reduce tax.

? Children's Future and Other Goals

– You didn’t mention children. If you have kids, plan for their education too.
– Create separate funds for each goal. Don’t mix.
– A child's higher education cost can be Rs.50–80 lakh in future.
– Start early with SIPs in long-term funds.

That way, your goals won’t collide. And your retirement won’t suffer.

? Asset Allocation Planning

– Right mix of assets is key for wealth creation.
– For your age and goals, equity should be 60–70%.
– Balance in debt and liquid funds for short-term and emergency needs.
– Avoid gold, real estate, or FDs for long-term growth.
– Real estate locks money. Has high entry-exit costs.
– FDs don’t beat inflation after tax.

Your asset mix must change as you near retirement.
Shift gradually from high risk to safety.
A CFP can guide you with regular reviews.

? Monthly Action Plan

– Track income, expense, and surplus monthly.
– Increase SIP by 10% every year.
– Build Rs.5–10 lakh emergency fund in liquid funds.
– Review term and health insurance.
– Avoid new loans till home loan starts.
– Don’t stop SIPs for short-term purchases.
– Invest bonuses in lump sum into mutual funds.
– Use regular plans through an MFD backed by CFP.

This monthly habit creates solid financial discipline.

? What You Should Not Do

– Don’t rush to buy property now with low savings.
– Don’t break mutual fund SIPs to pay EMIs.
– Don’t depend on employer-provided health cover only.
– Don’t invest in index funds. They have no active control or judgement.
– Don’t invest in direct mutual funds without a qualified guide.
– Don’t rely on LIC policies or endowments for wealth building.
– Don’t skip emergency fund or insurance.

These mistakes can hurt long-term financial freedom.

? Finally

– You have taken the right steps by starting SIP and planning early.
– Be consistent, and review yearly with a CFP.
– Prioritise retirement. House can be managed with better preparation.
– Keep personal finance simple and goal-driven.
– Long-term discipline brings big rewards.
– Don’t chase short-term returns or risky trends.

Money is a tool, not a goal. Use it wisely. Build peace, not just assets.

Wishing you a safe, smart, and strong financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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