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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi Sir, I'm 31 years old and having a monthly take home around 1 Lakh , I have FD of 6 Lakh, PPF of 2.50 L, NPS of 1 Lakh and Mutual Fund of 8 Lakh ( 2 Flexi Fund, 2 Mid Cap Fund, 2 Small Cap, 1 BAF and 1 ELSS) with monthly SIP 55000. I have no loan. I have only two major goals as of now as I don't have any kid: Goal 1. Need to generate a corpus of 1 Cr. In next 5 year to buy a house , will this be possible with this SIP Plan? Goal 2- I need to retire by age 50 with 10 Crores of corpus at present value. Will my SIP suffice if not then by what % I need to increase it YoY if I don't wanna increase the SIP value? Please help me with your invaluable advice :)

Ans: Creating a robust financial plan to achieve your goals of buying a house and retiring early is essential. At 31 years old with a strong monthly income and substantial investments, you are well-positioned to reach your financial objectives. Let's analyze your current financial situation and strategize to meet your goals of buying a house worth Rs. 1 crore in the next five years and retiring by 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Investments
Your monthly take-home salary is Rs. 1 lakh. Here's a breakdown of your current investments:

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 6 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 2.5 lakhs
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 1 lakh
Mutual Funds (MF): Rs. 8 lakhs across various funds
Monthly SIP: Rs. 55,000
Your disciplined investment approach is commendable and sets a solid foundation for achieving your financial goals.

Goal 1: Generating a Corpus of Rs. 1 Crore in 5 Years
Current SIP Analysis
To determine if your current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month can help you achieve a corpus of Rs. 1 crore in five years, let's consider the potential growth of your investments. Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, the future value of your SIPs can be estimated.

With a consistent SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month, you are on track to achieve substantial growth. However, it's important to regularly review and adjust your investments based on market performance and your financial goals.

Additional Strategies
If your current SIP falls short of the Rs. 1 crore target, consider these strategies:

Increase SIP Contributions: If feasible, gradually increase your SIP contributions each year. A 10-15% annual increase can significantly boost your corpus.

Lump Sum Investments: Allocate a portion of your FD or other savings to a lump sum investment in equity mutual funds. This can provide higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Review and Rebalance Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to optimize returns.

Goal 2: Retiring by Age 50 with a Corpus of Rs. 10 Crores
Assessing Your Retirement Goal
To retire by age 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores, you need to ensure that your investments are growing at a healthy rate. Considering you have 19 years until you reach 50, let's evaluate if your current SIPs and investments are sufficient.

Calculating Required SIP Growth
Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, let's estimate the future value of your current SIPs and the additional contributions needed:

Current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month:

Projected Future Value (FV) at 12% annual return over 19 years can be significant but may need a boost.
Increasing SIP Contributions Annually:

To avoid increasing the SIP value drastically, you can opt for a systematic increase of 10-15% per year. This approach leverages the power of compounding and incremental growth.
Additional Investments and Strategies
To bridge any gaps and ensure you meet your retirement goal, consider the following:

Utilize Annual Bonuses and Increments: Allocate any annual bonuses, increments, or windfalls towards your investment corpus.

Optimize Tax Savings: Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS. This not only reduces your tax liability but also boosts your investment corpus.

Diversify Investments: Ensure a mix of equity and debt investments. Equity funds provide growth, while debt funds offer stability and risk mitigation.

Detailed Investment Plan and Strategies
Fixed Deposits (FD)
Your current FD of Rs. 6 lakhs is a safe but low-return investment. Consider reallocating a portion of this to higher-yield investments like mutual funds or direct equity. Retain some amount in FD for emergency liquidity.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a long-term investment with tax benefits. Continue your annual contributions to PPF, as it provides stable returns and tax-free maturity. Aim to maximize your yearly contribution limit to Rs. 1.5 lakhs.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good retirement savings tool. Continue your contributions to NPS, considering the tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD. You can increase your contributions periodically to enhance your retirement corpus.

Mutual Funds
Your current mutual fund portfolio is well-diversified across flexi, mid-cap, small-cap, BAF, and ELSS funds. Here's a detailed strategy to optimize your mutual fund investments:

Flexi Funds: Continue your investments in flexi funds as they provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, offering balanced risk and return.

Mid and Small Cap Funds: These funds have high growth potential but come with higher risk. Maintain a balanced allocation and review performance periodically.

Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF): BAFs provide a balanced approach with a mix of equity and debt. Continue your SIP in BAF for risk management and steady returns.

Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): ELSS offers tax benefits under Section 80C and good returns. Continue your SIP in ELSS for tax-efficient growth.

Future Strategy and Incremental SIP Increase
To achieve your long-term goal of Rs. 10 crores by retirement, an annual incremental increase in SIPs is advisable. Assuming a 10-15% annual increase in SIPs, you can significantly enhance your investment corpus. Here's how:

Year 1: Rs. 55,000
Year 2: Rs. 60,500 (10% increase)
Year 3: Rs. 66,550 (10% increase)
Year 4: Rs. 73,205 (10% increase)
Year 5: Rs. 80,526 (10% increase)
By following this incremental approach, your SIP contributions will grow substantially, leveraging the power of compounding to reach your financial goals.

Risk Management and Contingency Planning
Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in liquid assets like savings accounts or short-term FDs.

Insurance
Life Insurance: Adequate life insurance coverage is essential to protect your family’s financial future. Consider term insurance for high coverage at low premiums.

Health Insurance: Ensure you and your family have comprehensive health insurance coverage to safeguard against medical emergencies and expenses.

Tax Planning and Efficiency
Maximize Tax-saving Investments
Utilize the full benefits of Section 80C by contributing to PPF, ELSS, NPS, and other eligible investments. Efficient tax planning reduces your tax liability and increases your investable surplus.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Annual Portfolio Review
Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to assess performance and make necessary adjustments. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Rebalancing
Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves selling over-performing assets and reinvesting in underperforming ones to manage risk and optimize returns.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Engaging a CFP can provide expert advice and tailored financial planning. A CFP helps you navigate complex financial decisions and stay on track to achieve your goals.

Final Insights
Achieving your financial goals of buying a house and retiring early requires disciplined planning and strategic investments. By increasing your SIP contributions, optimizing your portfolio, and leveraging tax-efficient investments, you can create substantial wealth.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay aligned with your goals. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and support in your financial journey.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. With the right strategies and disciplined execution, you can achieve your goals and secure a prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jun 19, 2024 | Answered on Jun 19, 2024
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Hi Sir, Thank you so much for a detailed response, it's highly appreciated that you consider responding with detailed analysis and thoughtful approach. I certainly take your advice and follow the directions! Is there any way if i sometimes reach out to you directly for the annual review of my portfolio? Best Regards, Priyanka June
Ans: I appreciate your trust and willingness to connect.
Let's embark on this financial journey together.
You can reach me through my website mentioned below.
This platform has restrictions on sharing personal contact. Hope you understand.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jun 20, 2024 | Answered on Jun 20, 2024
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Certainly! Thank you.
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance regarding your financial planning or any other related matter, please feel free to ask. I'm here to help you navigate through your financial journey and achieve your goals.

Best wishes,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Hi.I am 43 yrs old Married and have a 8yrs child .Need a corpus of 3-4 crs at the time of retirement maybe 55yrs . Having Home loan which is going 34k/ monthly and household expense. Below is the monthly SIP Aditya Birla -Growth -2000/-, Axis Bluechip -Growth -2500/-Axis flexi -Growth-2500/- AxisSmall Cap -Growth-2500/-HDFC Top 100-Growth -3000/- Nippon Multi Cap -Growth 4500/- Sbi Small Fund 2500/- Can it help me in achieving my goal or do have realter my Sip to achieve my target.
Ans: Given your goal of accumulating a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55 and your existing financial commitments, it's essential to assess whether your current SIPs are sufficient to meet your objectives. Here are some considerations:

• Evaluate Current SIPs: Your current SIPs reflect a diversified investment approach across various mutual fund categories, which is a positive step. However, it's crucial to review the performance of these funds periodically and ensure they are aligned with your risk tolerance and investment goals.

• Assess Target Corpus: To accumulate a corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55, you'll need to determine the monthly SIP amount required to achieve this target. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner who can conduct a detailed analysis based on factors like your current age, risk profile, expected returns, and time horizon.

• Factor in Home Loan: Since you have a home loan with a monthly EMI of 34,000, it's essential to ensure that your SIP contributions do not strain your monthly cash flow. Balancing your loan repayment with long-term investments is crucial to maintain financial stability.

• Review Investment Strategy: Depending on your risk appetite and investment horizon, you may need to adjust your SIP allocations to optimize returns and achieve your retirement goal. Consider diversifying your portfolio further or exploring other investment avenues to enhance growth potential.

• Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your SIPs and make adjustments as needed to stay on course towards your retirement goal. Regularly review your portfolio, market conditions, and personal financial situation to make informed decisions.

• Seek Professional Advice: Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable insights and recommendations tailored to your specific financial objectives. They can help you develop a comprehensive retirement plan, optimize your investment strategy, and address any concerns or challenges along the way.

In conclusion, while your current SIPs represent a good starting point, achieving a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55 may require further evaluation and adjustments to your investment strategy. By reviewing your financial plan regularly and seeking professional guidance, you can increase the likelihood of reaching your retirement goals successfully.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am male, divorced, currently drawing a monthly inhand salary of about 130000, have parental house although staying in a rental accommodation for job, have a MF Portfolio of 14.5 lakhs and a yearly investment of 260000 in SIP model, stocks worth 300000 and FDs worth 600000 and trying to step up SIP by 25 % y-o-y basis. I also have PPF of 200000 and Life insurance of 300000 at maturity and a medical insurance by my company. I am 34 now and want to retire by 50 with a corpus of 10 crore and monthly pension yield of 100000.
Ans: You've done a great job managing your finances so far. Let's look at your current situation and work towards your goal of retiring by 50 with a corpus of Rs 10 crore and a monthly pension of Rs 1,00,000.

Current Financial Snapshot
You have a solid foundation with diverse investments:

Monthly Salary: Rs 1,30,000
Mutual Fund Portfolio: Rs 14.5 lakhs
Annual SIP Investment: Rs 2,60,000
Stocks: Rs 3,00,000
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs 6,00,000
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 2,00,000
Life Insurance: Rs 3,00,000 at maturity
Medical Insurance: Provided by your company
You're also planning to increase your SIP by 25% year-on-year, which is commendable.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Your main goals are:

Retirement Corpus: Rs 10 crore by age 50
Monthly Pension: Rs 1,00,000 post-retirement
Let's explore how to achieve these goals with a strategic investment plan.

Building a Strong Retirement Corpus
To accumulate Rs 10 crore in 16 years, you'll need a mix of high-growth investments and consistent saving habits. Here's a detailed plan:

Increasing SIP Investments
Your current SIP investment of Rs 2,60,000 per year is a good start. Increasing it by 25% year-on-year will significantly boost your corpus. Here's how SIPs can help:

Rupee Cost Averaging: Investing regularly reduces the impact of market volatility.
Power of Compounding: Reinvesting returns can lead to exponential growth over time.
Discipline: SIPs instill a disciplined approach to investing.
Equity Mutual Funds for Growth
Equity mutual funds should form the core of your investment strategy. They offer higher returns over the long term compared to other asset classes. Here's a suggested allocation:

Large Cap Funds: Invest in established companies for stable growth.
Mid Cap Funds: Target medium-sized companies with higher growth potential.
Small Cap Funds: Focus on smaller companies for aggressive growth.
Flexi Cap Funds: Provide a balanced approach by investing across market capitalizations.
Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds track market indices and have lower costs. However, actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns. Fund managers actively select stocks to outperform the market, making them a better choice for maximizing returns.

The Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require a lot of time and expertise to manage effectively. Investing through regular funds via a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential provides expert advice and continuous monitoring of your portfolio.

Diversifying Investments
Diversification reduces risk by spreading investments across various asset classes. Here’s a diversified investment strategy:

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds provide stability and are less volatile than equity funds. They are ideal for balancing the risk in your portfolio. Consider:

Corporate Bond Funds: Invest in high-quality corporate bonds for moderate returns with low risk.
Short Duration Funds: Suitable for 1-3 year investment horizons with moderate risk.
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe, long-term investment with attractive interest rates and tax benefits. Continue investing in PPF to build a secure corpus. It complements the high-risk equity investments with its assured returns.

Importance of Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investing is not a one-time activity. Regularly monitoring and rebalancing your portfolio ensures it stays aligned with your goals. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. A Certified Financial Planner can help with this ongoing process.

Risk Management and Insurance
Adequate insurance coverage is crucial to protect your financial future. Ensure you have sufficient life insurance and health insurance. Your company's medical insurance is good, but consider a personal health insurance policy for additional coverage.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning maximizes your returns. Utilize tax-saving instruments like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) and PPF to reduce your tax liability and increase your investment corpus.

Building an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential to cover unexpected expenses without dipping into your investments. Aim to save at least 6 months of your expenses in a liquid fund. This ensures quick access to funds in case of emergencies.

Power of Compounding
Compounding is a powerful concept in investing. By reinvesting earnings, you earn returns on both your initial investment and the returns generated. This snowball effect can lead to substantial growth over time. Starting early and staying invested are key to maximizing the benefits of compounding.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Let's take a closer look at your existing investments and how they align with your goals:

Mutual Fund Portfolio: Rs 14.5 lakhs is a solid start. Continue increasing your SIP investments as planned.
Stocks: Rs 3,00,000 in stocks provides exposure to direct equity. Ensure you diversify across different sectors to manage risk.
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs 6,00,000 in FDs offers safety but lower returns. Consider shifting a portion to debt funds for better returns.
PPF: Rs 2,00,000 in PPF is a good long-term investment. Continue contributing regularly.
Life Insurance: Rs 3,00,000 maturity value is low. Consider increasing your life insurance coverage for better financial protection.
Step-Up SIP Strategy
Your plan to step up SIP investments by 25% year-on-year is excellent. This strategy leverages the power of compounding and rupee cost averaging to build a substantial corpus over time. Here's how it works:

Year 1: Invest Rs 2,60,000
Year 2: Increase by 25%, invest Rs 3,25,000
Year 3: Increase by 25%, invest Rs 4,06,250
And so on...
Retirement Planning
Achieving a corpus of Rs 10 crore by age 50 requires disciplined saving and smart investing. Here's a detailed plan:

Aggressive Growth Phase (34-44 years): Focus on equity mutual funds and increase SIPs yearly.
Moderate Growth Phase (45-50 years): Gradually shift a portion of equity investments to debt funds to reduce risk.
Post-Retirement Phase: Create a monthly pension of Rs 1,00,000 by investing in a mix of debt funds, balanced funds, and annuities.
Benefits of a Certified Financial Planner
Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures expert advice and personalized investment strategies. CFPs provide continuous monitoring of your portfolio, helping you adapt to changing market conditions and stay aligned with your financial goals.

Investing in Yourself
Investing in your skills and education can lead to higher earning potential. Continuous learning and upgrading skills can open up better job opportunities and career growth, leading to higher savings and investments.

Final Insights
You're on the right track with your diversified investments and disciplined saving habits. By following this strategic plan, you can achieve your goal of retiring by 50 with a corpus of Rs 10 crore and a monthly pension of Rs 1,00,000. Keep increasing your SIPs, monitor your investments regularly, and work with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I'm 43+, Monthly take home is around 3.20 Lacs, Currently i have invested in Shares (Current Portfolio is around 1.75 Crs). EMI is around 1.1 lacs P/m (Home loan 1 - 50K per month till 2037, 30K car loan till 2027 (Planning to close this year by paying 13 lacs, please suggest if this option of preclosure is good or EMI is good, will be paying this amount by selling some shares), 30k per month of home 2 till 2040., Recently i have started investing in SIP 1 lacs P/M, and balance 1.20 lacs goes in house, kids education expense. Have EPF balance of 40 lacs as on date. As mentioned above recently i have started investing in SIP (From Oct 2023 onwards), which is at the tune of 1 lacs per month. SIP are Franklin India Prima Fund regular Plan - Growth - 25K, ICICI Prudential Small cap fund retail plan G - 25K, Kotak Multicap fund regular plan growth - 15K, DSP Blackrock mid cap fund regular plan growth - 10 K, and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund - Regular plan growth - 25 K. Will increase the SIP investment by 10% every year going forward. Sir, My question is with current SIP investment will i be able to generate 10~12 Cr corpus fund by retirement (Assuming that i will be in Job and working for next 15 years). Current Share portfolio is for long term investment only (assuming i get 12~15% of return every year). Please note : will be spending around 1~1.5 cr for my Son education in engineering from 2027 to 2031, 50% will be spend from savings and balance 50% from education loan.
Ans: Financial Snapshot
Age: 43+
Monthly Take Home Salary: Rs 3.20 lakhs
Current Investment in Shares: Rs 1.75 crores
EMI Payments: Rs 1.1 lakhs per month
Home Loan 1: Rs 50,000 till 2037
Car Loan: Rs 30,000 till 2027 (planning to close this year)
Home Loan 2: Rs 30,000 till 2040
Monthly SIP Investment: Rs 1 lakh (started Oct 2023)
Monthly Household and Education Expenses: Rs 1.20 lakhs
EPF Balance: Rs 40 lakhs
Expected Expenses for Son's Education: Rs 1-1.5 crores (2027-2031)
Assessing Current Investments
Share Portfolio:

Value: Rs 1.75 crores
Assumed Annual Return: 12-15%
Long-term growth potential is strong. Continue holding for compounding benefits.
SIP Investments:

Started in Oct 2023
Current SIP of Rs 1 lakh per month in a diversified mix of funds
Analyzing Loan Preclosure Option
Car Loan Preclosure:

Current EMI: Rs 30,000 per month till 2027
Preclosure Amount: Rs 13 lakhs (consider selling some shares)
Pros of Preclosure:

Reduces monthly EMI burden
Saves interest costs
Cons of Preclosure:

Selling shares might impact portfolio growth
Evaluate if share sale aligns with long-term goals
Recommendation:

If interest rate on car loan is high, preclosure can be beneficial.
Ensure share sale does not significantly affect long-term portfolio growth.
Evaluating SIP Investments
Current SIP Allocation:

Franklin India Prima Fund: Rs 25,000
ICICI Prudential Small Cap Fund: Rs 25,000
Kotak Multicap Fund: Rs 15,000
DSP Blackrock Mid Cap Fund: Rs 10,000
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 25,000
Plan to Increase SIP by 10% Annually:

This is a good strategy. It helps to combat inflation and increase your corpus over time.
Active vs. Index Funds:

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:
Potential to outperform market
Professional management
Disadvantages of Index Funds:
Passive tracking of the market
No chance to outperform during market rallies
Projected Retirement Corpus
Assumptions:

Monthly SIP: Rs 1 lakh (increasing by 10% annually)
Investment Horizon: 15 years
Average Annual Return: 12-15%
Projection:

Estimated Corpus at Retirement:
With a 12% annual return: Approximately Rs 10-12 crores
With a 15% annual return: Potentially higher than Rs 12 crores
Financial Planning for Son's Education
Expected Expenses:

Rs 1-1.5 crores over 4 years (2027-2031)
Plan to use 50% savings and 50% education loan
Recommendation:

Start a dedicated education fund
Consider balanced or hybrid funds for stability and growth
Ensure this fund aligns with the investment horizon and risk tolerance
Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is strong.
Increasing SIP contributions annually is a prudent move.
Evaluate the car loan preclosure option based on interest rates and long-term goals.
Maintain a diversified portfolio to balance risk and growth.
Regularly review your investments with a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.
By following these steps, you should be well-positioned to achieve a corpus of Rs 10-12 crores by retirement. Additionally, planning for your son's education expenses with a dedicated fund will ensure financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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8. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or you don't click with the dentist, it's okay to explore other options.

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
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Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

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Relationship
Hi, I got married to my ex gf in an arranged setup. I had a 7 year of relationship with her before breakup. My career switch try from private to govt job was the reason. When I failed I returned back to corporate. 3 years after the breakup her father who is a good friend of my father sent proposal which led to our marriage. No one knew that we dated. We never had a word between the acceptance and marriage. None of us initiated the conversation. When she came after marriage her behavior towards me in private is totally strange. We never had an emotional conversation. Neither we discuss romance nor intimacy. In private we hardly have any intellect discussions which was an eternal part before our breakup. But when she is in public she behaves like she cares for me a lot. She is a darling of everyone in the house whether my parents or siblings. Most of the time she remains with my mother and she has good bond. In front of her she cares for me a lot. She had this double faced attitude from the first day. Our intimacy is limited to my ask she could agree or disagree but she never initiated it. She was pretty passionate before our breakup which I never saw after our marriage. I tried everything but nothing has happened she never opened up. She disconnected with almost all our mutual friends after marriage. Whenever I tried through some of her friends she says to them I overthink a lot. Marriages and relationships differs. All useless and weird reasons. Everyone blames my teenage short temper issue. Which I have completely overcame when I started working. After marriage we had a boy. She says no for a next child for which I am fine. But the problem is now my child is growing and she has started understanding her hypocrisy. Now she blames me for teaching him wrong things. We hardly had fights as she walks out or I won't say word usually after she didn't answer for anything. I am unable to see the light in this relationship. She had 3 relationships in between but I never had one which I never discussed. Now I hardly ask for anything. Day by day we are becoming only room partners or fake couples in public. Everyone sees her as an ideal daughter in law or wife due to her public hypocrisy. Please guide.
Ans: Dear Salman,
I understand that marital issues take a huge toll on people. Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. I strongly suggest you seek professional help- you can either opt for personal counseling sessions to manage the distress caused by your partner's indifference, or the best approach is to convince your wife to go for marriage counseling with you. It would be good to get to the root of the matter; why is she behaving a certain way, where is this coming from, are there unresolved issues from when you dated? These questions will finally get an answer and you can work on them together. If she does not agree to go, tell her to do it for your child. No child should have to see their parents unhappy with each other.

Hope this helps.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |163 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Career
I want to give NEET exam but my 12th in Maharashtra Board marks are less than 150 in PCB (general), so I am not eligible. can I give retest of 12th to get better marks so that I can give NEET.
Ans: Hi, Being a retest candidate is considered a second attempt in +2. I think the medical council will not allow admission to medicine. Instead, you can consider B.Pharm / Pharm D.

To join, the following are the requirements:

For pharm D: Minimum qualification for admission to. – a) Pharm.D. Part-I Course – A pass in any of the following examinations - (1) 10+2 examination with Physics and Chemistry as compulsory subjects along with one of the following subjects: Mathematics or Biology. (2) A pass in D.Pharm course from an institution approved by the Pharmacy Council of India under section 12 of the Pharmacy Act. (3) Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course.

FOR B.PHARM:
Minimum qualification for admission to – A. First year B. Pharm – A pass in any of the following examinations - i. Candidate shall have passed 10+2 examination conducted by the respective state/central government authorities recognized as equivalent to 10+2 examination by the Association of Indian Universities (AIU) with English as one of the subjects and Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics/Biology as optional subjects individually. “However, the students possessing 10+2 qualification from non-formal and non-class rooms based schooling such as National Institute of Open Schooling, open school systems of States etc. shall not be eligible for admission to B.Pharm Course.” ii. Any other qualification approved by the Pharmacy Council of India as equivalent to any of the above examinations. Provided that a student should complete the age of 17 years on or before 31st December of the year of admission to the course. Provided that there shall be reservation of seats for the students belonging to the Scheduled Castes, Scheduled Tribes and other Backward Classes in accordance with the instructions issued by the Central Government/State Government/Union Territory Administration as the case may be from time to time.

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