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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi Sir, I'm 31 years old and having a monthly take home around 1 Lakh , I have FD of 6 Lakh, PPF of 2.50 L, NPS of 1 Lakh and Mutual Fund of 8 Lakh ( 2 Flexi Fund, 2 Mid Cap Fund, 2 Small Cap, 1 BAF and 1 ELSS) with monthly SIP 55000. I have no loan. I have only two major goals as of now as I don't have any kid: Goal 1. Need to generate a corpus of 1 Cr. In next 5 year to buy a house , will this be possible with this SIP Plan? Goal 2- I need to retire by age 50 with 10 Crores of corpus at present value. Will my SIP suffice if not then by what % I need to increase it YoY if I don't wanna increase the SIP value? Please help me with your invaluable advice :)

Ans: Creating a robust financial plan to achieve your goals of buying a house and retiring early is essential. At 31 years old with a strong monthly income and substantial investments, you are well-positioned to reach your financial objectives. Let's analyze your current financial situation and strategize to meet your goals of buying a house worth Rs. 1 crore in the next five years and retiring by 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Investments
Your monthly take-home salary is Rs. 1 lakh. Here's a breakdown of your current investments:

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 6 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 2.5 lakhs
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 1 lakh
Mutual Funds (MF): Rs. 8 lakhs across various funds
Monthly SIP: Rs. 55,000
Your disciplined investment approach is commendable and sets a solid foundation for achieving your financial goals.

Goal 1: Generating a Corpus of Rs. 1 Crore in 5 Years
Current SIP Analysis
To determine if your current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month can help you achieve a corpus of Rs. 1 crore in five years, let's consider the potential growth of your investments. Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, the future value of your SIPs can be estimated.

With a consistent SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month, you are on track to achieve substantial growth. However, it's important to regularly review and adjust your investments based on market performance and your financial goals.

Additional Strategies
If your current SIP falls short of the Rs. 1 crore target, consider these strategies:

Increase SIP Contributions: If feasible, gradually increase your SIP contributions each year. A 10-15% annual increase can significantly boost your corpus.

Lump Sum Investments: Allocate a portion of your FD or other savings to a lump sum investment in equity mutual funds. This can provide higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Review and Rebalance Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to optimize returns.

Goal 2: Retiring by Age 50 with a Corpus of Rs. 10 Crores
Assessing Your Retirement Goal
To retire by age 50 with a corpus of Rs. 10 crores, you need to ensure that your investments are growing at a healthy rate. Considering you have 19 years until you reach 50, let's evaluate if your current SIPs and investments are sufficient.

Calculating Required SIP Growth
Assuming an average annual return of 12% on your mutual funds, let's estimate the future value of your current SIPs and the additional contributions needed:

Current SIP of Rs. 55,000 per month:

Projected Future Value (FV) at 12% annual return over 19 years can be significant but may need a boost.
Increasing SIP Contributions Annually:

To avoid increasing the SIP value drastically, you can opt for a systematic increase of 10-15% per year. This approach leverages the power of compounding and incremental growth.
Additional Investments and Strategies
To bridge any gaps and ensure you meet your retirement goal, consider the following:

Utilize Annual Bonuses and Increments: Allocate any annual bonuses, increments, or windfalls towards your investment corpus.

Optimize Tax Savings: Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS. This not only reduces your tax liability but also boosts your investment corpus.

Diversify Investments: Ensure a mix of equity and debt investments. Equity funds provide growth, while debt funds offer stability and risk mitigation.

Detailed Investment Plan and Strategies
Fixed Deposits (FD)
Your current FD of Rs. 6 lakhs is a safe but low-return investment. Consider reallocating a portion of this to higher-yield investments like mutual funds or direct equity. Retain some amount in FD for emergency liquidity.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a long-term investment with tax benefits. Continue your annual contributions to PPF, as it provides stable returns and tax-free maturity. Aim to maximize your yearly contribution limit to Rs. 1.5 lakhs.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good retirement savings tool. Continue your contributions to NPS, considering the tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD. You can increase your contributions periodically to enhance your retirement corpus.

Mutual Funds
Your current mutual fund portfolio is well-diversified across flexi, mid-cap, small-cap, BAF, and ELSS funds. Here's a detailed strategy to optimize your mutual fund investments:

Flexi Funds: Continue your investments in flexi funds as they provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations, offering balanced risk and return.

Mid and Small Cap Funds: These funds have high growth potential but come with higher risk. Maintain a balanced allocation and review performance periodically.

Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF): BAFs provide a balanced approach with a mix of equity and debt. Continue your SIP in BAF for risk management and steady returns.

Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): ELSS offers tax benefits under Section 80C and good returns. Continue your SIP in ELSS for tax-efficient growth.

Future Strategy and Incremental SIP Increase
To achieve your long-term goal of Rs. 10 crores by retirement, an annual incremental increase in SIPs is advisable. Assuming a 10-15% annual increase in SIPs, you can significantly enhance your investment corpus. Here's how:

Year 1: Rs. 55,000
Year 2: Rs. 60,500 (10% increase)
Year 3: Rs. 66,550 (10% increase)
Year 4: Rs. 73,205 (10% increase)
Year 5: Rs. 80,526 (10% increase)
By following this incremental approach, your SIP contributions will grow substantially, leveraging the power of compounding to reach your financial goals.

Risk Management and Contingency Planning
Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of living expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in liquid assets like savings accounts or short-term FDs.

Insurance
Life Insurance: Adequate life insurance coverage is essential to protect your family’s financial future. Consider term insurance for high coverage at low premiums.

Health Insurance: Ensure you and your family have comprehensive health insurance coverage to safeguard against medical emergencies and expenses.

Tax Planning and Efficiency
Maximize Tax-saving Investments
Utilize the full benefits of Section 80C by contributing to PPF, ELSS, NPS, and other eligible investments. Efficient tax planning reduces your tax liability and increases your investable surplus.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Annual Portfolio Review
Conduct an annual review of your portfolio to assess performance and make necessary adjustments. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Rebalancing
Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves selling over-performing assets and reinvesting in underperforming ones to manage risk and optimize returns.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Engaging a CFP can provide expert advice and tailored financial planning. A CFP helps you navigate complex financial decisions and stay on track to achieve your goals.

Final Insights
Achieving your financial goals of buying a house and retiring early requires disciplined planning and strategic investments. By increasing your SIP contributions, optimizing your portfolio, and leveraging tax-efficient investments, you can create substantial wealth.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay aligned with your goals. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and support in your financial journey.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. With the right strategies and disciplined execution, you can achieve your goals and secure a prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jun 19, 2024 | Answered on Jun 19, 2024
Listen
Hi Sir, Thank you so much for a detailed response, it's highly appreciated that you consider responding with detailed analysis and thoughtful approach. I certainly take your advice and follow the directions! Is there any way if i sometimes reach out to you directly for the annual review of my portfolio? Best Regards, Priyanka June
Ans: I appreciate your trust and willingness to connect.
Let's embark on this financial journey together.
You can reach me through my website mentioned below.
This platform has restrictions on sharing personal contact. Hope you understand.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - Jun 20, 2024 | Answered on Jun 20, 2024
Listen
Certainly! Thank you.
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance regarding your financial planning or any other related matter, please feel free to ask. I'm here to help you navigate through your financial journey and achieve your goals.

Best wishes,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Hi.I am 43 yrs old Married and have a 8yrs child .Need a corpus of 3-4 crs at the time of retirement maybe 55yrs . Having Home loan which is going 34k/ monthly and household expense. Below is the monthly SIP Aditya Birla -Growth -2000/-, Axis Bluechip -Growth -2500/-Axis flexi -Growth-2500/- AxisSmall Cap -Growth-2500/-HDFC Top 100-Growth -3000/- Nippon Multi Cap -Growth 4500/- Sbi Small Fund 2500/- Can it help me in achieving my goal or do have realter my Sip to achieve my target.
Ans: Given your goal of accumulating a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55 and your existing financial commitments, it's essential to assess whether your current SIPs are sufficient to meet your objectives. Here are some considerations:

• Evaluate Current SIPs: Your current SIPs reflect a diversified investment approach across various mutual fund categories, which is a positive step. However, it's crucial to review the performance of these funds periodically and ensure they are aligned with your risk tolerance and investment goals.

• Assess Target Corpus: To accumulate a corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55, you'll need to determine the monthly SIP amount required to achieve this target. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner who can conduct a detailed analysis based on factors like your current age, risk profile, expected returns, and time horizon.

• Factor in Home Loan: Since you have a home loan with a monthly EMI of 34,000, it's essential to ensure that your SIP contributions do not strain your monthly cash flow. Balancing your loan repayment with long-term investments is crucial to maintain financial stability.

• Review Investment Strategy: Depending on your risk appetite and investment horizon, you may need to adjust your SIP allocations to optimize returns and achieve your retirement goal. Consider diversifying your portfolio further or exploring other investment avenues to enhance growth potential.

• Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your SIPs and make adjustments as needed to stay on course towards your retirement goal. Regularly review your portfolio, market conditions, and personal financial situation to make informed decisions.

• Seek Professional Advice: Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable insights and recommendations tailored to your specific financial objectives. They can help you develop a comprehensive retirement plan, optimize your investment strategy, and address any concerns or challenges along the way.

In conclusion, while your current SIPs represent a good starting point, achieving a retirement corpus of 3-4 crores by the age of 55 may require further evaluation and adjustments to your investment strategy. By reviewing your financial plan regularly and seeking professional guidance, you can increase the likelihood of reaching your retirement goals successfully.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I'm 43+, Monthly take home is around 3.20 Lacs, Currently i have invested in Shares (Current Portfolio is around 1.75 Crs). EMI is around 1.1 lacs P/m (Home loan 1 - 50K per month till 2037, 30K car loan till 2027 (Planning to close this year by paying 13 lacs, please suggest if this option of preclosure is good or EMI is good, will be paying this amount by selling some shares), 30k per month of home 2 till 2040., Recently i have started investing in SIP 1 lacs P/M, and balance 1.20 lacs goes in house, kids education expense. Have EPF balance of 40 lacs as on date. As mentioned above recently i have started investing in SIP (From Oct 2023 onwards), which is at the tune of 1 lacs per month. SIP are Franklin India Prima Fund regular Plan - Growth - 25K, ICICI Prudential Small cap fund retail plan G - 25K, Kotak Multicap fund regular plan growth - 15K, DSP Blackrock mid cap fund regular plan growth - 10 K, and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund - Regular plan growth - 25 K. Will increase the SIP investment by 10% every year going forward. Sir, My question is with current SIP investment will i be able to generate 10~12 Cr corpus fund by retirement (Assuming that i will be in Job and working for next 15 years). Current Share portfolio is for long term investment only (assuming i get 12~15% of return every year). Please note : will be spending around 1~1.5 cr for my Son education in engineering from 2027 to 2031, 50% will be spend from savings and balance 50% from education loan.
Ans: Financial Snapshot
Age: 43+
Monthly Take Home Salary: Rs 3.20 lakhs
Current Investment in Shares: Rs 1.75 crores
EMI Payments: Rs 1.1 lakhs per month
Home Loan 1: Rs 50,000 till 2037
Car Loan: Rs 30,000 till 2027 (planning to close this year)
Home Loan 2: Rs 30,000 till 2040
Monthly SIP Investment: Rs 1 lakh (started Oct 2023)
Monthly Household and Education Expenses: Rs 1.20 lakhs
EPF Balance: Rs 40 lakhs
Expected Expenses for Son's Education: Rs 1-1.5 crores (2027-2031)
Assessing Current Investments
Share Portfolio:

Value: Rs 1.75 crores
Assumed Annual Return: 12-15%
Long-term growth potential is strong. Continue holding for compounding benefits.
SIP Investments:

Started in Oct 2023
Current SIP of Rs 1 lakh per month in a diversified mix of funds
Analyzing Loan Preclosure Option
Car Loan Preclosure:

Current EMI: Rs 30,000 per month till 2027
Preclosure Amount: Rs 13 lakhs (consider selling some shares)
Pros of Preclosure:

Reduces monthly EMI burden
Saves interest costs
Cons of Preclosure:

Selling shares might impact portfolio growth
Evaluate if share sale aligns with long-term goals
Recommendation:

If interest rate on car loan is high, preclosure can be beneficial.
Ensure share sale does not significantly affect long-term portfolio growth.
Evaluating SIP Investments
Current SIP Allocation:

Franklin India Prima Fund: Rs 25,000
ICICI Prudential Small Cap Fund: Rs 25,000
Kotak Multicap Fund: Rs 15,000
DSP Blackrock Mid Cap Fund: Rs 10,000
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 25,000
Plan to Increase SIP by 10% Annually:

This is a good strategy. It helps to combat inflation and increase your corpus over time.
Active vs. Index Funds:

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:
Potential to outperform market
Professional management
Disadvantages of Index Funds:
Passive tracking of the market
No chance to outperform during market rallies
Projected Retirement Corpus
Assumptions:

Monthly SIP: Rs 1 lakh (increasing by 10% annually)
Investment Horizon: 15 years
Average Annual Return: 12-15%
Projection:

Estimated Corpus at Retirement:
With a 12% annual return: Approximately Rs 10-12 crores
With a 15% annual return: Potentially higher than Rs 12 crores
Financial Planning for Son's Education
Expected Expenses:

Rs 1-1.5 crores over 4 years (2027-2031)
Plan to use 50% savings and 50% education loan
Recommendation:

Start a dedicated education fund
Consider balanced or hybrid funds for stability and growth
Ensure this fund aligns with the investment horizon and risk tolerance
Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is strong.
Increasing SIP contributions annually is a prudent move.
Evaluate the car loan preclosure option based on interest rates and long-term goals.
Maintain a diversified portfolio to balance risk and growth.
Regularly review your investments with a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.
By following these steps, you should be well-positioned to achieve a corpus of Rs 10-12 crores by retirement. Additionally, planning for your son's education expenses with a dedicated fund will ensure financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

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Dear sir, I am 46 yrs old investing in SIP of 25000 monthly last 4.5 Yrs in different companies mutual fund. I wants retire after 10 yrs and need a corpus of 5 crore. I have 2 children studying @ 6&8 grade. Invested in money back policy of 5-8 Lakh. 1C land purchased 2 yrs back. Comprehensive Health insurance is available for 5L yearly and Term insurance of 60L is available. Kindly let me know what sort of planning required.
Ans: It shows you are thinking ahead for your family and future. That itself is a great start.

Let’s break this down step by step.

 

Retirement Planning – 10 Years Away
 

You want Rs.5 crore in 10 years.

 

You are already investing Rs.25,000 monthly through SIPs. This is a good habit.

 

But just investing isn’t enough. The amount, fund selection, and review also matter.

 

Rs.5 crore is a big target. It needs a solid, focused investment plan.

 

You need to check whether Rs.25,000 per month is enough for this goal.

 

Based on typical growth rates, it may fall short. We need to increase SIPs gradually.

 

A Certified Financial Planner can help assess the exact shortfall. Then a step-wise plan can be made.

 

Your retirement plan should not depend on land. Land is not liquid. Selling it can take time.

 

Continue SIPs and increase it by 10% every year. That helps stay ahead of inflation.

 

Actively managed mutual funds should be selected. They give a better edge with expert fund manager decisions.

 

Index funds lack flexibility. They copy the index. No chance to beat the market.

 

With actively managed funds, the fund manager reacts fast to changes. That is an advantage.

 

Asset allocation should be reviewed every year. Rebalancing keeps the risk in control.

 

Keep a separate portfolio for retirement. Do not mix children’s education goal with this.

 

Children’s Education Planning
 

Your children are now in 6th and 8th grades.

 

In 6–8 years, you’ll need funds for their higher education.

 

Education costs are rising sharply. This cannot be ignored.

 

Start separate SIPs for their education goal now.

 

Do not depend on money-back policies for education.

 

These give low returns. Hardly beat inflation. Not suitable for education needs.

 

Surrender these policies. Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds.

 

A Certified Financial Planner can guide on which policies to surrender and how.

 

Use mutual funds for better returns and flexibility.

 

Choose a mix of equity and balanced funds. This gives better growth with some safety.

 

Review this portfolio every year. Make changes if fund performance drops.

 

Never use retirement funds for education or other goals.

 

Keep clear boundaries between each financial goal.

 

Insurance Assessment – Life and Health
 

You have Rs.60 lakh term insurance. It is a good starting point.

 

But is it enough? Likely not.

 

A person at age 46 with children and a Rs.5 crore retirement goal needs more cover.

 

Term cover must be at least 12–15 times your annual income.

 

It should also cover children’s education and liabilities.

 

Top up your term insurance with an additional Rs.40–50 lakh at least.

 

Premiums are still manageable at your age.

 

Avoid ULIPs or money-back plans for life cover. They mix insurance and investment.

 

You have Rs.5 lakh health insurance. That is a positive step.

 

However, with rising medical costs, it is not enough.

 

Add a super top-up policy of Rs.10–15 lakh. It is cost-effective and gives added protection.

 

Ensure the entire family is covered under the policy.

 

Also keep some emergency fund in liquid funds for minor health expenses.

 

Emergency Fund and Contingency Planning
 

An emergency fund gives peace of mind.

 

It should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

 

Keep this in a liquid mutual fund or savings account.

 

Never invest emergency funds in equity or land.

 

Refill the fund if you use it anytime.

 

Existing Land Investment
 

You mentioned buying land two years ago.

 

It can be a personal asset. But not an investment.

 

Land does not generate regular income.

 

Selling land can take time. Liquidity is low.

 

Do not depend on land for your retirement or education goals.

 

Do not count land value in your net worth for investment planning.

 

Keep it as a reserve or personal utility asset only.

 

Money-Back Policies – Action Plan
 

You have Rs.5–8 lakh in money-back policies.

 

These offer low returns. Do not help in long-term wealth creation.

 

It is best to surrender these now. Don’t wait.

 

Reinvest that money into mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

 

Use regular plans through MFDs. They offer continuous support and monitoring.

 

Direct mutual funds offer no guidance. That leads to mistakes and poor returns.

 

Regular funds give access to a CFP’s review and hand-holding.

 

Small cost difference, but better long-term results.

 

SIP Management – Next Steps
 

You are already investing Rs.25,000 monthly. That is commendable.

 

Increase it every year. This is called SIP step-up.

 

If your income rises, increase SIPs by 10–15% yearly.

 

This one habit helps you reach goals faster.

 

Choose 4–5 diversified equity funds. Review them every 6 months.

 

Use funds with consistent track records and experienced managers.

 

Avoid index funds. They are passive. No fund manager input.

 

Actively managed funds offer better opportunities.

 

Tax Planning – For Today and Tomorrow
 

Make use of Section 80C for tax savings. SIP in ELSS can help here.

 

Avoid locking too much in PPF or NSC. They are not flexible.

 

For capital gains tax, keep new rules in mind.

 

If you sell equity funds, gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

 

If sold before 1 year, gains are taxed at 20%.

 

For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your income slab.

 

Always check tax implication before switching or redeeming funds.

 

Goal-Based Investment Planning
 

Link each SIP to a specific goal.

 

One SIP for retirement.

 

One SIP for child 1 education.

 

Another SIP for child 2 education.

 

Do not combine goals. That leads to confusion later.

 

Clear goal tagging helps track progress.

 

A Certified Financial Planner can prepare this map for you.

 

Use colour-coded tracking for each goal.

 

Will, Nomination, and Estate Planning
 

Make a basic Will. Even if your assets are small today.

 

Nominate properly in every investment and insurance.

 

Review nominations every 2 years.

 

Teach your spouse the basics of your financial plan.

 

Keep one folder with all details – policies, accounts, mutual funds.

 

Inform your family where the file is kept.

 

Three Yearly Review System
 

Review your financial plan every year.

 

Do it with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

 

Track SIP growth. Are goals on track?

 

Rebalance asset allocation if equity grows too much.

 

Check insurance covers every 2 years.

 

Update Will, nominations, and goals if needed.

 

Final Insights
 

You have taken important first steps. That shows awareness.

 

But awareness needs a plan to be successful.

 

Surrender low-yielding policies. Reinvest wisely.

 

Keep land aside. Do not count on it for goals.

 

Increase SIPs steadily. Choose only actively managed funds.

 

Use regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

 

Protect family with higher life and health insurance.

 

Separate SIPs for each goal. Link every investment to a purpose.

 

Review your plan once every year. Adjust when needed.

 

Your dream of Rs.5 crore and children’s education is possible.

 

But you need focused, guided steps to reach there.

 

Best Regards,
 

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
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I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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