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Dr Hemalata

Dr Hemalata Arora  |186 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on May 02, 2024

Dr Hemalata Arora is a senior consultant who practises internal medicine at Mumbai’s Nanavati Max Super Speciality Hospital.
In a career spanning over 24 years, she has focused on managing infectious diseases, critical illnesses and lifestyle disorders.
Dr Arora completed her MBBS and MD from the King Edward Memorial Hospital and Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College in Mumbai.
She is ECFMG certified, accredited by the American Board of Internal Medicine, Diplomate of the National Board and a DNB faculty.
She was honoured with the Paul Bunn award for her promising performance in the field of infectious diseases at SUNY Upstate Medical University, New York.... more
Rajesh Question by Rajesh on May 01, 2024Hindi
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Hello I am 46 year old and married since last 21 years and one son age 20. My problem is when I m away from for job and other reason. My wife takes excessive liquor day and night. all of our family members tried to advise her to stop her but she is sinking. she is very much addictive to this. Due to this my son is getting affected in his studies. We all are confused and distrubed. what should we do.

Ans: She will need urgent intervention. Possibly a rehab program. Can you first have her see a psychiatrist perhaps? Sometimes these addictive behaviours stem from underlying anxiety or depression.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dear Guruji, Boss, I had a drinking problem. Wife refused sex till alcohol issue solved. For a year now, have not touched a drop. I swear on my mother. She is still refusing intimacy in bed. Or anywhere. I kept my end of the deal. She has not. We never had any problems in our marriage till I started increasing my drinking. Now I feel like going back to drinking. Need your help. Thank you, Tejbir Kohli
Ans:

That does sound unfair, Tejbir.

I think you need couples's therapy.

Your marriage has obviously been through a lot, what with your former drinking problem and your wife denying you any form of intimacy.

Please don't hit the bottle again; visit a therapist instead. 

 

Hi Love Guru,
My husband always watching porn stuff.
Too much.
Porn not getting translated to real life action.
Can’t too much porn be an addiction?
I am afraid one of my daughters might see him watching.
Need your guidance.
Fatima Zaidi

Dear Fatima,

A lot of people watch porn, but an addiction is a different matter.

It's when one cannot stop watching and does so every chance s/he gets, even in risky environments like the workplace or when one's family is around.

Explain to your husband that you think that this is getting out of hand and that you're worried for both his mental wellbeing as well as your children's exposure to porn.

He needs to be discreet and also ensure that it's not getting out of hand.

Such an obsession is not healthy.

Moreover, do you have a good sex life? Maybe if you're more adventurous with him in the bedroom he may not feel the need to rely quite so much on watching sex instead of having it!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |873 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

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 I came across while casually going through the news feed on my phone. I am 43 years old married for 20+ years and have an adult kid and a teenager (both boys). My problem is that me and my husband have been arguing tooooo much nowadays on his alcohol issue. Even though he is not a daily drinker or excessive one, per his doctor's advise he should not be drinking. He tends to make promises which he never keeps regarding the same issue. Ours was an arranged marriage and we had our 1st kid on our 1st anniversary and 2nd kids 4 years later.Now even the elder son has started to question his dad about not keeping promises to which my husband says that as a son he doesn't need to tell him how a father has to live and what he has to do. Now my kids have lost trust on their father and I have lost trust on him long back. I have come to a point where I am in the relationship only for the kids as I am unemployed and cannot take care of the kids only own with financial support from him. I have confronted him multiple times to stop drinking or seek medical help if need to stop, but he is adamant that he will not stop. I am now worried if the father son's relationship will get into a turmoil cos I don't want my boys to grow up with out a father. I am at a crossroad as to how to continue with life from here on. It would be helpful and kind of you if u can suggest me something to help convince my husband to abandon alcohol and save the family's peace and happiness.
Ans:

Dear L, I can only imagine what this must be for you. But don’t lose heart. Is there any reason that pushed him to taking to drinking?

Alcohol can make a person who he/she isn’t. What is said and what is to be done, can be forgotten with consistent drinking and the effects it has on the body and mind.

If he is drinking despite doctor’s warnings and it has begun to erode your relationships, either ask an elderly family member to talk to him (preferably a male member) or please seek professional help.

Whatever it is, at home, none of the members must taunt him or nag him or repeatedly talk about his mistakes or his lack of commitment.

This will only push him further away and back into his easy stress buster which is alcohol. Be patient and loving and keep your mind focused on his healing and coming back into the family as a changed person.

Wishing you the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2023Hindi
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I’m 41 male, married for last 15 years and have 1 kid. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family ,my wife is an alcoholic and for the same i ready apply divorce 3 time but due to my son i always gave her chance to change her self, but its high time now i apply 4 th time divorce, m i right or wrong??
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a difficult time. Dealing with addiction can be challenging for both the individual struggling with it and their loved ones. It's important to recognize that addiction is a disease and requires professional help and support to overcome.

Divorce is a serious decision and should not be taken lightly. It's important to consider all of the factors involved and to seek professional guidance before making any decisions. It sounds like you have tried to work through your wife's addiction for a long time and have given her multiple chances to change, but have not seen the results you were hoping for.

If you have exhausted all options and feel that divorce is the best course of action for you and your son, then you are entitled to make that decision. However, it's important to consider the impact that divorce may have on your son and to make sure that he is receiving the support and care that he needs during this difficult time.

I would encourage you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate this difficult decision and to explore all of your options. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to make the best decision for yourself and your family.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |873 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your drinking is the main reason why your wife cannot trust you again. Rebuilding that trust is going to take a lot of time and patience, Simply by saying that All is Well, let's move back together is not going to help.
Use this time of separation to rebuild that trust. Visit your children often and be the father that they didn't have earlier...be the husband that you were not earlier.
Actions speak louder than words...so, now focus on what you can do for your family that will make them want you back into their lives and this can definitely happen when you are staying away from them.
Allow them to slowly notice the changes in you and they will on their own accept you back...
A lot of work to be done...but anything for the family, right?

All the best!

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Dr Hemalata

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 12, 2024Hindi
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A friend of mine is aged 47 yrs is a salaried income is 1 lakh p m at present, he is away from his hometown and living in a good city in india with his family,he was having a 2bhk flat whick he has purchased in his hometown, against which he took a loan from someone fir 14 lakhs to repay his debt since 10 yrs ago,still the outstanding is 14 lakhs, in 2024 he will get some funds 4 lakhs approx ,what he must do in this situation, should he take back the property by paying slowly all the 14 lakhs in coming years ,or he will just leave the property and with his own money look for taking a new property, the old flat is in 4th floor not having lift.He is scared about the present property cost and how will he be building a new house in his hometown..kindly advise
Ans: Navigating Property Ownership: Assessing Options for Financial Security
Your friend's situation presents a complex decision regarding property ownership and financial stability. Let's evaluate the available options and recommend a course of action that aligns with his long-term financial goals and current circumstances.

Understanding the Current Situation
Property Ownership: Your friend owns a 2BHK flat in his hometown, which he purchased 10 years ago with a loan of 14 lakhs. Despite regular repayments, the outstanding amount remains the same.

Financial Constraints: With a monthly income of 1 lakh and family responsibilities, managing additional financial burdens can be challenging, especially considering the stagnant loan amount and potential property maintenance costs.

Evaluating Options
Repaying the Loan: Your friend can consider gradually repaying the remaining loan amount of 14 lakhs from the funds he expects to receive in 2024. This approach allows him to regain full ownership of the property, eliminating debt obligations.

Selling or Abandoning the Property: Given the property's location on the 4th floor without a lift and the uncertainty surrounding its market value, your friend may contemplate selling or abandoning the property altogether. This option frees him from loan liabilities and potential maintenance expenses but necessitates finding alternative housing solutions.

Exploring New Property Investment: With the funds received in 2024, your friend could explore investing in a new property that better suits his current needs and preferences. However, the feasibility of this option depends on various factors such as property costs, location, and financial constraints.

Considerations for Decision-Making
Financial Stability: Prioritize your friend's financial stability and ability to manage debt obligations and future expenses effectively.

Long-Term Goals: Consider your friend's long-term goals, including retirement planning, family needs, and property ownership preferences, when making decisions about property ownership.

Market Analysis: Assess the current real estate market trends in your friend's hometown to gauge the potential returns on investment and property appreciation prospects.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Encourage your friend to consult with a financial advisor or real estate expert to assess his options comprehensively and make informed decisions aligned with his financial objectives and circumstances.

Conclusion
Your friend's decision regarding the 2BHK flat ownership requires careful consideration of various factors, including financial stability, long-term goals, and market dynamics. By weighing the available options and seeking professional guidance, he can navigate this situation effectively and secure his financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2424 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am currently 24 years old am earning around 11lpa I am investing around 60k each month (5k sip) rest lumpsum. What should be my investing strategy to get corpus of 10cr, I want to retire within 50 years. I already hv invest around 8.1l
Ans: Crafting Your Path to a 10 Crore Corpus: A Long-Term Investment Strategy
Your proactive approach towards investing at a young age and setting ambitious financial goals demonstrates foresight and determination. Let's outline a comprehensive investment strategy tailored to your objective of accumulating a 10 crore corpus by retirement within 50 years.

Current Financial Landscape
Young Age Advantage: Starting your investment journey at 24 provides a significant advantage due to the power of compounding over an extended period.

Steady Income and Investments: Earning 11 lakhs per annum and allocating 60k monthly towards investments, including SIPs and lump sum contributions, reflects disciplined financial planning.

Long-Term Investment Strategy
Equity-Centric Approach: Given your long investment horizon and goal of wealth accumulation, adopting an equity-centric approach is prudent. Equity investments offer higher growth potential over the long term, albeit with higher volatility.

SIPs for Regular Investing: Continue with your SIPs, as they foster disciplined investing and provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging. Allocate a significant portion of your monthly investments towards equity SIPs to capitalize on market opportunities and mitigate risk.

Lump Sum Investments for Portfolio Boost: Utilize lump sum investments to bolster your portfolio and seize attractive investment opportunities. Consider diversified equity mutual funds or blue-chip stocks with strong growth potential and track record.

Diversification Across Asset Classes: While equity forms the cornerstone of your investment strategy, consider diversifying across other asset classes such as debt, real estate investment trusts (REITs), or gold to mitigate risk and enhance overall portfolio stability.

Monitoring and Adjustments
Regular Portfolio Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Make adjustments as necessary to capitalize on emerging opportunities or rebalance your portfolio.

Stay Informed and Educated: Keep abreast of economic developments, market trends, and investment strategies to make informed decisions. Continuous learning and staying informed are essential pillars of successful long-term investing.

Conclusion
With a disciplined investment approach, focus on equity investments, and commitment to long-term financial planning, you can work towards achieving your goal of accumulating a 10 crore corpus by retirement within 50 years. Stay disciplined, stay focused, and trust in the power of compounding to realize your financial aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2424 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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I have a current corpus of 2.25 cr. I am 46 yo working having my own business. My yearly SIP is 40 lacs. I have no loan. I want to retire at the age of 65 years. How much corpus will i'll be able to achieve with same SIP taking inflation and 10 to 12% return ?
Ans: Estimating Future Corpus: Projecting Retirement Savings Growth
Your proactive approach towards retirement planning, coupled with a substantial current corpus and significant yearly SIP contributions, sets a strong foundation for achieving your retirement goals. Let's project the potential corpus you could accumulate by the age of 65, considering inflation and expected returns.

Current Financial Situation
Substantial Current Corpus: Your existing corpus of 2.25 crores provides a solid base for wealth accumulation, demonstrating prudent financial management and planning.

Significant Yearly SIP: A yearly SIP of 40 lakhs reflects your commitment to long-term wealth creation and retirement preparedness.

Projecting Future Corpus
Inflation Consideration: Accounting for inflation is essential to ensure your retirement corpus maintains its purchasing power over time. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6-7% annually is prudent.

Expected Returns: With a diversified investment portfolio and an investment horizon of 19 years until retirement, aiming for an average annual return of 10-12% is reasonable, considering historical market performance.

Compounding Effect: The power of compounding amplifies the growth potential of your investments over time, especially with consistent SIP contributions and favorable market conditions.

Estimating Future Corpus
Using a retirement calculator or financial projection tool, we can estimate the potential corpus you could accumulate by the age of 65 based on your current SIP contributions, expected returns, and inflation rate.

Conclusion
By diligently contributing to your SIPs and leveraging the power of compounding, you have the potential to achieve a substantial retirement corpus by the age of 65. Regularly reviewing your investment strategy, adjusting for changing market conditions, and staying disciplined in your savings habits will further enhance your financial security in retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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