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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I’m 41 male, married for last 15 years and have 1 kid. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family ,my wife is an alcoholic and for the same i ready apply divorce 3 time but due to my son i always gave her chance to change her self, but its high time now i apply 4 th time divorce, m i right or wrong??

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a difficult time. Dealing with addiction can be challenging for both the individual struggling with it and their loved ones. It's important to recognize that addiction is a disease and requires professional help and support to overcome.

Divorce is a serious decision and should not be taken lightly. It's important to consider all of the factors involved and to seek professional guidance before making any decisions. It sounds like you have tried to work through your wife's addiction for a long time and have given her multiple chances to change, but have not seen the results you were hoping for.

If you have exhausted all options and feel that divorce is the best course of action for you and your son, then you are entitled to make that decision. However, it's important to consider the impact that divorce may have on your son and to make sure that he is receiving the support and care that he needs during this difficult time.

I would encourage you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate this difficult decision and to explore all of your options. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to make the best decision for yourself and your family.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2021

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Relationship
Dear Guruji, Boss, I had a drinking problem. Wife refused sex till alcohol issue solved. For a year now, have not touched a drop. I swear on my mother. She is still refusing intimacy in bed. Or anywhere. I kept my end of the deal. She has not. We never had any problems in our marriage till I started increasing my drinking. Now I feel like going back to drinking. Need your help. Thank you, Tejbir Kohli
Ans:

That does sound unfair, Tejbir.

I think you need couples's therapy.

Your marriage has obviously been through a lot, what with your former drinking problem and your wife denying you any form of intimacy.

Please don't hit the bottle again; visit a therapist instead. 

 

Hi Love Guru,
My husband always watching porn stuff.
Too much.
Porn not getting translated to real life action.
Can’t too much porn be an addiction?
I am afraid one of my daughters might see him watching.
Need your guidance.
Fatima Zaidi

Dear Fatima,

A lot of people watch porn, but an addiction is a different matter.

It's when one cannot stop watching and does so every chance s/he gets, even in risky environments like the workplace or when one's family is around.

Explain to your husband that you think that this is getting out of hand and that you're worried for both his mental wellbeing as well as your children's exposure to porn.

He needs to be discreet and also ensure that it's not getting out of hand.

Such an obsession is not healthy.

Moreover, do you have a good sex life? Maybe if you're more adventurous with him in the bedroom he may not feel the need to rely quite so much on watching sex instead of having it!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your drinking is the main reason why your wife cannot trust you again. Rebuilding that trust is going to take a lot of time and patience, Simply by saying that All is Well, let's move back together is not going to help.
Use this time of separation to rebuild that trust. Visit your children often and be the father that they didn't have earlier...be the husband that you were not earlier.
Actions speak louder than words...so, now focus on what you can do for your family that will make them want you back into their lives and this can definitely happen when you are staying away from them.
Allow them to slowly notice the changes in you and they will on their own accept you back...
A lot of work to be done...but anything for the family, right?

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8319 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, I am aged 40 years a aggressive investor I have recent corpus of 13 lac in mutual fund and doing SIP of Rs30500 monthly in following funds . Nippon small cap - 9000 , Tata small cap - 7500 , Quant Small cap - 6000 , kotak small cap - 5000 and Pgmi Flexi cap -3000 and a vision for next 22 years with step up of 10 %. I also invest in PPF of 12500 monthly and In EPF with 25000 basic salary and i will also get Rs 50 lac from various LIC policy at the age of 60 . I want to know that is my approach is right and what would be the future corpus at the age of 62 years .
Ans: You are doing a disciplined and smart job with your investments. You have a long-term horizon, a strong SIP commitment, and a clear goal in mind. That’s a big step many don’t take seriously. Let me now evaluate your approach from all angles. This will be a 360-degree review of your investment plan and future readiness.

Let us go step-by-step to understand if your approach is right and what the future looks like.

Your Current Financial Setup

You are 40 years old now.

You have a mutual fund corpus of Rs 13 lakh.

You invest Rs 30,500 monthly through SIP.

You invest in four small cap funds and one flexi cap fund.

You step up your SIP by 10% annually.

You have a PPF investment of Rs 12,500 monthly.

You contribute to EPF. Your basic salary is Rs 25,000.

You will receive Rs 50 lakh from LIC policies at age 60.

Your investment horizon is 22 years from now.

This is a solid plan and shows discipline. Now, let us evaluate it carefully with insights and suggestions.

Assessment of Mutual Fund Investments

You are investing heavily in small cap mutual funds.

Four out of five funds are from the small cap category.

Small caps give high returns, but they also carry high risk.

Over 22 years, this risk may work in your favour.

But the ride will be bumpy. There will be sharp ups and downs.

At times, you may see short-term losses. That is normal.

However, putting over 85% of SIP in small caps may be risky.

You need better diversification for stability.

Adding large cap and mid cap funds may balance the risk.

Your Flexi cap fund does help a bit, but it is still not enough.

A blend of market caps will give smoother long-term growth.

It is better to slowly bring down small cap exposure to 50%.

Increase exposure to diversified and mid-cap funds gradually.

Don’t exit small cap funds suddenly. Take a phased approach.

This change will make your portfolio strong and well-balanced.

Step-Up SIP Strategy – Strong and Effective

Increasing SIP by 10% annually is a smart idea.

This fights inflation and grows your wealth faster.

It uses your rising income to build a big corpus.

Many investors ignore step-up. You are doing it correctly.

Keep increasing the SIP without fail every year.

Even a break in step-up can delay your target.

Review your SIPs yearly and adjust as income rises.

This strategy will help you reach your target corpus faster.

Investment in PPF – A Safe Long-Term Cushion

PPF offers guaranteed, tax-free interest.

You are investing Rs 12,500 monthly in PPF.

Over 22 years, this will become a strong safe corpus.

It adds stability to your overall financial plan.

PPF is good for retirement since it is risk-free.

Keep continuing till maturity. Do not withdraw early.

Interest rate may vary, but long-term returns are good.

You also get tax exemption under Section 80C.

This risk-free asset will protect you from equity market shocks.

EPF – A Reliable Retirement Contributor

Your EPF is linked to your Rs 25,000 basic salary.

The employer also contributes monthly.

Over 22 years, this will grow into a big amount.

EPF offers fixed, tax-free returns with no market risk.

It is an excellent tool for retirement planning.

Avoid premature withdrawals from EPF.

You can withdraw after retirement for use as income.

This will be a strong pillar of your retirement security.

LIC Maturity at Age 60 – A Special Boost

You will receive Rs 50 lakh from LIC policies at age 60.

This will come at a perfect time near retirement.

You must check if these are traditional or ULIP plans.

Traditional plans offer low returns, mostly below inflation.

ULIPs carry market risk and high charges.

If these are investment-cum-insurance plans, surrendering is wise.

You can reinvest that surrender amount in mutual funds.

Use proper asset allocation while reinvesting.

For insurance needs, use only term insurance.

Reinvesting in mutual funds can make this Rs 50 lakh grow further.

Future Corpus at Age 62 – What to Expect

With SIPs, EPF, PPF and LIC money, your total savings will be huge.

Your mutual fund corpus will grow rapidly with step-up.

Your PPF and EPF will grow safely, year after year.

LIC amount will give a big boost just before retirement.

With 10% SIP step-up, your corpus can cross Rs 9 to 10 crore.

Exact figure depends on market returns, SIP discipline, and inflation.

But you are definitely on the right path to reach financial freedom.

You are preparing for retirement very well.

This kind of planning gives peace of mind and confidence.

Things You Are Doing Right – A Quick Look

Strong SIP discipline and long-term vision.

Investing in equity for long-term wealth creation.

Following step-up SIP approach.

Investing in PPF and EPF for safe returns.

Keeping investment horizon of 22 years.

Maintaining separate LIC maturity plans.

You are showing smart behaviour as an aggressive investor.

Key Improvements You Should Consider

Reduce small cap exposure to 50% slowly.

Add more mid-cap and flexi cap funds.

Avoid overlapping funds from same category.

Review performance of all funds every 6 months.

Check expense ratios and consistency of returns.

Track goal progress once a year with clear targets.

Make sure your portfolio has good asset allocation.

Don’t hold funds only based on past returns.

Always go through a Certified Financial Planner for changes.

This will make your portfolio more stable and return-oriented.

Important Taxation Insight

Long-Term Capital Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-Term Capital Gains are taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions smartly to reduce tax.

Use staggered withdrawals near retirement.

Redeem equity funds over time, not all at once.

PPF and EPF are tax-free. LIC maturity is also tax-free.

But for mutual funds, plan redemptions with tax efficiency.

This will help you protect your wealth from tax erosion.

Important Notes on Fund Types and Investments

Do not use direct mutual funds if you are not an expert.

Direct funds need self-review and research, always.

There is no handholding or guidance with direct funds.

If you miss fund underperformance, losses may happen.

Regular funds through MFD with CFP advice are safer.

CFP will do goal review, fund analysis and rebalancing.

This adds value and protects your goals from derailment.

Always go through a trusted CFP for a 360-degree plan.

Your long-term wealth deserves the right expert attention.

Finally – Our Insights for You

You are on a great track with vision and discipline.

You are investing smartly across equity and debt.

With minor changes, your plan can become stronger.

Keep focus on diversification and risk management.

Review your goals and progress yearly with expert help.

Stick to your plan even during market falls.

Continue your SIP step-up and never skip contributions.

Use professional guidance to ensure smooth journey.

Your retirement will be financially independent and stress-free.

This approach will help you lead a proud, peaceful life post-60.

Stay committed and consistent. You are doing excellent already.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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