Hi Anu, my husband is misunderstanding me. He is blaming me for not listening him.
I'm trying to change myself to him. Whatever I do he is not ready to accept me.
He wanted a 100% perfect Indian woman. He wanted me like his mother I guess. But I have born and brought up differently I don't bother about some cultures.
He imagined me like his dream wife based on my looks. Now he is telling that I'm a totally different woman, I have to change.
Ans: Dear L,
Today you change and become like his mother, tomorrow the demand will be something else. We are who we are.
What exactly irks him?
The way you dress or the way you speak, the way you are with elders, rituals not being met?
Figure this out…sometimes, small changes can lead to great ease in the relationship.
Also as you make the effort, do communicate that it will be nice if he did see things your way in a few things as well.
Mid-point in a marriage can be hard to achieve but very effective for the marriage to last long. Else only one person changes and the whole thing becomes lopsided.
Try and be empathetic when he talks but make sure you gently push back what you want and who you are.
If it feels too much to do, seek the help of an elder in the family to step in.
Give in a little, smile and also at the same time make sure that you are who you are!
Best wishes!
