Dear Sir, I am working as Branch Manager in cooperative Bank. Due to staff under me are non competent, not self started, motivated and also reluctant to do work without taking follow up I am facing many issues and as a responsible I have to work overtime. What should I do to become good leader?

Ans: Dear SK, I can only imagine the agony that you are going through and I have been coaching many people on this since the time the lockdown began.

None of us knew what the Pandemic would mean and what it would do to our businesses or work or home. It has managed to create new situations that we have no idea of how to handle.

This has caused a lot of anxiety and strain and we have perhaps begun to imagine the worst.

But what if I tell you that the situation is changing and so will the situation at your office?

Will you be inclined to believe that?

Even the top management is behaving in a wayward manner as this is all new to them; especially working from home for many and not much facetime which I guess as a Sales guy you are used to.

Since the response from the markets are not so good, it is bound to show up as a poor performance on your record, this is a valid concern…but to go into work, everyday keeping this in mind may not be effective even with the smallest of tasks as the anxiety keeps you on the edge not doing much but worrying to save your job.

Also, what happened to your colleague may not happen to you. So why focus all your energies on something that may not happen?

Instead, simply focus on ‘realistic’ targets that are achievable at this time.

Also, since you have joined only early this year, I do feel, it is imperative for you to know really your hierarchy and reporting structure. If there are conflicts at the top and you are bearing the brunt, either you need to roll up your sleeves and ace the politics that possibly others are facing too or simply do what you can.

Step back and observe what is going on and for this, you need to be a little calm to understand the WHY of 4 bosses!

It may all but be an imagined stress and it might just need a bit of a tweak to be in a better rapport with each of them.

Sometimes, what is little, becomes big in the mind as it is cluttered with a lot of if and buts with either lack of information or simply creating stories out of apprehensions and fears.

Please take care of your health and this helps keeping the mind in a better space to deal with what is going on.

Ultimately, tell yourself: “NOTHING IS WORTH STRESSING OVER SO MUCH. Everything falls into place, once I take charge!”

Take charge and take care of your health. Best wishes.

Ans: Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you for writing in.

Firstly, consider this phase as a learning phase. People skills can be developed with practice and efforts. Consider this as an opportunity and work on yourself. Few reflective questions you may ask yourself-
1- What is it making others uncomfortable about me? is it the way I talk, am I rude or am I a micromanager.
2- How can I make the environment comfortable for others so they find it easy to work with me.
3- Can I be more expressive and clear in my communication

You could also speak to your manager and take support and mentorship. Important is to find a navigation so it only helps you. Seeking help at work place is a positive sign.

Other aspects you could look at are-

Try to build relationship with your team member's, it's time to break the ice. Take some time out from your busy schedule and spend time with your team members, go for coffee, lunch, snacks etc. Start having conversations, listen to them and importantly show interest when they are talking. This will help you build rapport with the team members

Receive Feedback- while as a manager you must be giving feedback to your team members. So, now is the time to receive feedback from them about you. While you take the feedback few important aspects you should consider -
Dont' get defensive
Don't argue if they say anything negative about you
Accept and acknowledge
Ask them what you should do to make it work as a team
More importantly listen and don't hold any grudges instead act on the feedback received
Remember, when someone is giving you the feedback that means they have experienced that behavior with you.

Try with these to start with. Hope this helps. I will been keen to hear from you once you executive the tips.

All the best.
To your success. Be you. Be confident.
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of -Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or Attitude?

Ans: I really don't know your area of activity as to what kind of organisation and operations, this is a bits and pieces question.. Riddle.

You have accepted that you have low grasping power, reason, that there is NO focus on the job?
Your comfort zone is satisfied organisation is near to your house.

It's important to prove your worth to the organization, otherwise you will be left behind as the case is now!

I suggest do a SWOT ANALYSIS about yourself and how to stay focussed on the task & achieve organizational goals.
It's then when you will be valued and grow.

Help yourself, no one knows better about the job you are doing than you!
Got it..!
Start with daily activities, weekly,monthly,quarterly & annual goals ...shrug off your complacency... Deliver or be Driven out... Bitter pill to swallow.. So don't take things lightly start now!

Ans: Dear Chandani,
Embrace your role as a leader in your home by setting a positive example for your children. Demonstrate responsibility, honesty, and resilience daily. Encourage their independence by allowing them to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make decisions, guiding them through learning from mistakes.

Practice clear and respectful communication, listen actively, and validate their feelings. Foster a growth mindset by praising their efforts and perseverance, teaching them that abilities can be developed through hard work.

Show empathy and compassion in your interactions, and encourage them to do the same. Engage in teamwork through family projects or community service to teach collaboration.

Promote continuous learning by reading together and discussing positive character traits. Model self-care and emotional regulation to teach them to handle stress healthily.

Get involved in community activities to instill a sense of responsibility and contribution. Reflect on your parenting and be open to feedback from your children to continuously improve.

By incorporating these practices, you'll nurture your children's development into independent, compassionate, and capable individuals. Your example and guidance will inspire them to lead fulfilling lives.