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Virender

Virender Kapoor  | Answer  |Ask -

Self-improvement Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2023

Virender Kapoor is the former director of Pune's Symbiosis Institute of Management and the founder of the Management Institute for Leadership and Excellence in Pune.He has authored more than 36 books on self-improvement designed for school students, senior managers and CEOs.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 24, 2023Hindi
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Dear Mr. Virender Kapoor, I am working in sales for last 30 years. I was considered one of the best presenter and I used to modulate my voice effectively. Since last 5-7 years, I have lost the appetite of addressing an audience. If I do, I don't feel like impressing the audience and gripping them. I speak slow and finish my presentation in few minutes even before time. I have lost confidence. How to bring back the zeal. Thanks in advance.

Ans: If you have done it for three decades, you must have liked your work. Yes you do get tired of doing things over a period of time, for instance i have been writing books and articles for almost 30 years, yet i take it as a challenge to write 1500 words a day every single day. You need to push yourself- ShahRukh khan in an interview said that the biggest challenge for an actor is to get up every morning and go for shooting with same enthusiasm! You may like to read a book 'Passion Quotient how it matters more than IQ written by me. Will give you several ideas to do better. https://www.amazon.in/PQ-How-Matters-More-
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Presently I am working as a General Manager Purchase and my age is 44, I find difficult in speaking without any agenda/specific question. Even in informal dinners or just casual talks I become blank. This is same in my personal life also. Like introvert type, but this is taking a toll on my professional as well as personal. I try very hard to be fluent with people but I am not able to do it. If somebody speaks 20 line and I convey the same in 1 line. But it is boring for others. How do I improve it.... like storytelling type.
Ans: Dear Balaji,

Thank you for writing in.

First of all, stop labelling yourself (like you have mentioned in the above question "I am an Introvert type"). As humans our brains are wired to believe what information we feed to ourselves.

Second, acceptance. Accepting the way, you are. That is your strength.

Certain steps that can be considered -
- Know the agenda you are entering into. This will help you prepare in advance on the conversations you need to engage in.
If there are no agendas then you can -
- Initiate small talks. For example- talk about current affairs in the industry (avoid talking about religion or politics) as this can get sensitive. Conversation should be general in nature. This will help you break the ice with the individual.
- Asking open ended questions- such questions help you encourage others to share more information. Instead of asking yes/no questions, ask questions that require a more detailed response, such as "What was that experience like for you?" or "Tell me more about..."
- Focus on your observation- Observe your surroundings and what's happening in the environment. You can use these observations as conversation starters. For example, if you're at a restaurant, you can comment on the decor, the food, or the atmosphere.
- Share Personal Stories- Personal anecdotes can make your conversations more relatable and engaging.
-Use Body Language- Your body language can enhance your communication. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasize points, and smile when appropriate to convey warmth and engagement.
-Don’t hesitate to seek for professional help- If you feel that your difficulty in engaging in conversations is causing significant distress or impacting your personal and professional life, consider seeking professional help. This should help you navigate with the tips and tricks.

Hope this helps.

All the best

Ashwini Dasgupta
To your Success. Be You. Be Confident
Author of Confidence Decoded- Is it a Skill or Attitude?

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi
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I am 35, MBA from a reputed college. I recently took over as senior project manager in a software company. Over the last few months, I’ve been asked to lead more high-stakes presentations, but every time I step in front of a group of senior professionals, my nerves take over. I can’t seem to communicate my ideas clearly, and I end up rambling or losing the audience. It’s frustrating because I know the content is strong, but I can’t deliver it with the confidence it needs. I’m starting to feel like this could affect my career growth if I don’t improve. I want to know how to seem more confident and present my ideas with clarity.
Ans: Hi!!

I can understand what you are going through.
I have helped many a people to become better communicators, presenters and public speakers. I agree with you when you say .. that these skills will augur well for your career growth.
What I can say is this .. that it is a learnable skill. Practice and more practice is the only way ahead. You said your content is strong, that is 50% of the job done, so build up on this confidence and practice your delivery in front of the mirror or in front of encouraging family/friends.
The only way to gain confidence is to "JUST DO IT"....to calm your nerves- deep breathing techniques and visualizations techniques will be useful.
I can help you on this journey of being a person who delivers with panache!

There are books by Dale Carnegie on public speaking which can help you out. Also read about Abe Lincoln and his journey of becoming a great orator, it can maybe help you.

Remember, PRACTICE AND PRACTICE is the key to unlock your confidence and become the person who delvers with panache.

All the best!!

..Read more

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