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18-Year-Old Son Avoids College, Wants to Be a YouTuber: How to Motivate Him?

Nayagam P P |3956 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Question by pravin on Aug 12, 2024Hindi

Hello sir, my son is 18 year old after 10th i took his admission to electrical engineering 1st year of his engineering he is regularly going for college in 2nd semester got 5 subject ATKT due to government bless rule he got admission to 2nd year also but my son started avoiding to going to college hole day just watching mobile not studying for his ATKT subject also saying i dont want to study i want to become a youtuber but doing nothing hole day just watching mobile if i scold him and stop his wifi he is saying i will leave the house he is not bother about food nor about his health nor his Carrier just required WIFI for mobile i am very tense for his carrier and future he dont have friends also please advise how can i make him understand how study is important and how can i complete his engineering to get job to earn money thank you pravin k

Ans: Pravin Sir,

Addition to electronic gadgets is one of the problems, some parents face nowadays.

First of all, approach a good Professional / Qualified Student Counsellor along with your son in your locality. Make sure, the Counsellor has Psychology Background also. There might be some changes. If needed, you can approach a Psychologist, having specialised knowledge in Counselling the children of your son's age.

Follow-up counselling sessions with the counsellors are also important until he changes his attitude.

If possible, visit his college and request for couselling your son. Almost all colleges have counsellors who can help.

Some other tips:

1) Tell him, he also can become YouTuber. But ask him what plans he has to become a YouTuber?
2) Switching off WiFi & being authoritarian will not work.
3) Communicate or interact with him politely whenever possible.
4) Tell him he can use his mobile but, at the same time should focus on his studies as well.
5) Make sure, atmosophere at home is good. Such as, parents also should avoid spending too much time on Electronic Gadgets. Most of the children imitate only their parents.
6) If possible, tell him to participate in physical activities as well.

All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Asked on - Aug 13, 2024 | Answered on Aug 15, 2024

Dear Sir, I had done counselling 4 times he behave very well manner child in front of counselor but again behaving same when he started avoiding to come to counselor i arrange counselor to come at home but result is same good behavior front of counselor he agreed everything what counselor is saying but after counselor session is over result is same watching mobile not eating food not doing exercise sitting in one place watching mobile and every time is saying i am not feeling well my body paining almost 6 month had past saying the same word my body is paining i had shown to doctors check the blood also report are normal in his mind is that if i am not felling well dad will not send me to college and his body also reacting the same when he get in morning always saying my body is paining. we are both working parent he alone at home we hardly get time to watch gadgets,we always encourage him about his Carrier to do something and explain the fact also we are getting retired soon then how you manage your expenses he is saying i am not worried about any thing please suggest sir how can i make him understand his responsibility he is the only child of us .

Ans: Pravin Sir,

One of the important points that you have mentioned is that you BOTH are working, and he has been alone at home which should not have happened. And since which standard he has been alone at home & since when he has been using mobile are also 2-other important factors that have led to this problem.

One of the reasons, I had already & correctly mentioned is that, 'lack of communication/interaction' by parents, which is applicable to your son.

Now, the first (and may be only) solution is that either you or your mother have to quit the job and look after him at home. If you both are in Govt. Jobs, it is difficult to quit, but no other option in the interest of & for the future of your son.

If you want to have control over / get something, you will have to lose something.

(Or) if you both cannot leave the job, you have to arrange for a male caretaker / any of your close / trustworthy relatives who can take care of him.

(Or) You will have to drop him from the college and make him join some short-term courses with any of your nearby reputed institutes which provide job assistance/job guarantees. And he should keep upgrading his skills (by joining online/offline short-term part-time courses) after he joins any job, & gains experience.

Above all, you should definitely make sure that someone is available with him at home from now. If you fail to do this, new problems will come, Sir. You can seek the help of his (good) friends to change his behaviour as one of the options.