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Aruna Agarwal36 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 09, 2023

Asked on - May 09, 2023

Dear Aruna, My child is 16.5 year old and is in 12th Standard. He wanted to pursue JEE and hence we got him admitted to a school who has integrated program where along with CBSE they impart JEE training as well. They also had a hostel facility. We had shifted him to this hostel during his 11th after lot of thinking as he used to waste lot of time gaming and hanging around with his friends...he had got 78% in his 11th and this was because he stayed in the hostel. Now he is saying that he will not go back to the hostel at all and prepare at home. But he does not seem to be serious at all...he has been gaming, hanging around with his friends etc.When asked about all this he says that he is well ware and will do the needful..Off late he started saying that he is not interested in doing JEE and make basket ball as his career...we as parents are very confused...I even have fights with my son because of this...Please advise what needs to be done. I would like that he rejoins hostel as this would make him disciplined and responsible...It is important that he completes his 12th standard with good marks and i feel that staying back home is not going to help at all. he is intelligent and teachers appreciate him a alot..he is also talented but is wasting lots of time...he says that he knows everything and no one need to tell him anything. Whenever he hears abt hostel he gets irritated. This hostel does not allow mobile phones or any electronic gadgets at all.
Ans: As the child is an adolescent and he knows well about the repercussions since he is as intelligent child. You can make the child write down the number of hours he used , let it be as a visual for him on paper. Make a excel sheet for him and ask him to write on this the number of hours being spent on the mobile or gadget each day for next 5 days.

You can also reduce your time incase you spend on gadget and start spending time in the form of games, going out for walks together ( an alternative for not being sent to the hostel)
See that when you are reducing any behaviour, give him a equally reinforcing activity to get the same behaviour down.

Ravi Mittal79 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2023

Asked on - Feb 19, 2023

My wife has said that she will keep no relation with my family and i should not keep any relation with her family. This happened as my mother on law always supporter her..She is late for everything and which triggers my anger. I have always supported her but in the past i had friends who used to make me drink and travel leaving her all alone.I have already left the past. She is working now but does not support in running the family expense. She is 41 & i am 47 now. Our marriage has been is now completed 19 years. I have to bear all the expenses of the family like Son's school fees etc. She sometimes incurs her medical expenses. I am not at all happy as she is does not disclose anything to me and always thinks that my family is after her and says that they do some black magic etc...I am planning to bring my father as he is 80 years old but he is fearing that if he comes then there will be a dispute in my family. Should i ask to share the family expenses as this is eating out all my savings. Please guide me ...I am very unhappy.
Ans: Dear Trilok,

An open discussion might help in your case. I am sure you have tried explaining your grievances to your wife, but try it one more time. But instead of making your statements like, "your actions make me so frustrated," try to make her your ally with I statements, for instance, "I feel so frustrated because of everything that's going on; I really need you in my corner." What this does is tickles the other person's ego by making them feel needed; it just might do the trick.

Express your thoughts politely, without ever losing control of your tongue, and make your wife understand that you are partners and equals, hence both are responsible for the wellbeing of your family, not just you alone.

Best Wishes!

Mayank Kumar179 Answers  |Ask -

Education Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2023

Asked on - Jan 28, 2023

I am currently working fora leading FMCG company. I have a total experiemce of 20 years + in sales & marketing, Operations . I have been a multitasking individual. My salary is a 1.13 lac per month which is very hard to continue. I was in the insurance , banking but now have been in the FMCG industry for the past 12 years now. I am in a senior level as well. Kindly suggest me what next to do..I want a change and also need a 2nd income to sustain as well.
Ans: Hi Trilok! Your current CTC per month is not matching your work experience. To evaluate whether you are being paid fairly, I use a formula of the years of work experience with a 1.5-2x multiplier - so you should be at 30-40L. The sector that you are working in is experiencing ups and downs thus you should focus on how you can contribute by looking at up-skilling yourself. Sales, Marketing & Operations are integral functions for each and every sector & there is scope for a lot. These are a few steps I will recommend:

- Work on specific projects within your organisation in the domain where you want to build expertise in
- Utilise your time to pursue an online executive/ general management program (more focused on training than theories) to acquire leadership and managerial skills. It will strengthen your business acumen and shall boost your skill proficiencies for taking up added responsibilities within your organisation
- Use metrics to define your efforts within your org so that also allow them to compensate you fairly. Also with the right upskilling you should aim to get the right increment for yourself.
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