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Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Aug 10, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2023Hindi
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My son is studding in +2(Non-med) But he is not studding at home not even a single minute. He was very good in studies up to tenth class even he was among top 5 students in the class. Now from last one month he is saying that I will not go to school. But today he refused to go the school and he is saying that I will not study. Please guide me how to tackle this situation.

Ans: Have a word with him if he feels his studies are seeming difficult. Find out which friends he likes spending time with.
Teenagers work best when they can express themselves and keep your suggestions to 2. Take your son for a walk, and let him talk, and try creating a short plan for him that he can try, and be there when he asks fo support. Prioritise family time, eating together as a family and having daily conversations.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3882 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

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Hello sir, my son is 18 year old after 10th i took his admission to electrical engineering 1st year of his engineering he is regularly going for college in 2nd semester got 5 subject ATKT due to government bless rule he got admission to 2nd year also but my son started avoiding to going to college hole day just watching mobile not studying for his ATKT subject also saying i dont want to study i want to become a youtuber but doing nothing hole day just watching mobile if i scold him and stop his wifi he is saying i will leave the house he is not bother about food nor about his health nor his Carrier just required WIFI for mobile i am very tense for his carrier and future he dont have friends also please advise how can i make him understand how study is important and how can i complete his engineering to get job to earn money thank you pravin k
Ans: Pravin Sir,

Addition to electronic gadgets is one of the problems, some parents face nowadays.

First of all, approach a good Professional / Qualified Student Counsellor along with your son in your locality. Make sure, the Counsellor has Psychology Background also. There might be some changes. If needed, you can approach a Psychologist, having specialised knowledge in Counselling the children of your son's age.

Follow-up counselling sessions with the counsellors are also important until he changes his attitude.

If possible, visit his college and request for couselling your son. Almost all colleges have counsellors who can help.

Some other tips:

1) Tell him, he also can become YouTuber. But ask him what plans he has to become a YouTuber?
2) Switching off WiFi & being authoritarian will not work.
3) Communicate or interact with him politely whenever possible.
4) Tell him he can use his mobile but, at the same time should focus on his studies as well.
5) Make sure, atmosophere at home is good. Such as, parents also should avoid spending too much time on Electronic Gadgets. Most of the children imitate only their parents.
6) If possible, tell him to participate in physical activities as well.

All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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