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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |157 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Shekhar Kumar is senior manager, talent acquisition, at the Shri Venkateshwara University in Gajraula, Uttar Pradesh. He has 18 years of expertise in the search and placement of executive leadership talent across various industries.
He has also mentored middle and senior management professionals for leadership positions and guided them in career development.
Shekhar has a bachelor's degree in business management from Magadh University, Bihar, and a master's degree in human resource management from Annamalai University, Tamil Nadu.... more
Sivya Question by Sivya on Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Career

currently I am in second year of fashion design. I don't think I learnt more things in these years which can help me in my career. I am b.com graduate. I am confused what can I do now. drop my 3rd year or do something else in this field or other. suggest me some advice.

Ans: Thank you for getting in touch with me on Rediff Gurus. If you're feeling uncertain about your fashion design studies and don't feel like you've gained enough knowledge or skills to pursue a career in the field, it's important to explore your options and make an informed decision about your future. Evaluate the skills and knowledge you've gained from your fashion design studies so far. Identify areas where you feel confident and areas where you may need further development. Explore different career paths within the fashion industry and related fields. Consider roles such as fashion merchandising, styling, marketing, retail management, textile design, or fashion journalism, which may offer opportunities to leverage your background in both fashion design and commerce. Look for internship opportunities in the fashion industry to gain hands-on experience and exposure to different aspects of the field. Internships can help you build valuable skills, expand your professional network, and clarify your career interests. Ultimately, make a decision that feels right for you based on your interests, goals, and circumstances. Whether you choose to continue with your fashion design studies, pursue a different path within the industry, or explore opportunities outside of fashion, trust yourself to make the best decision for your future.
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Dear Mr R P YAdav I have finshed B ARCH with much interested in design and creative field. I realised the problem in 2nd yr itself but some how continued and finished the graduation. I took the admission in B ARCH are 12 commerce. During all the 5 years i felt like I should have done CA or MBA. Can you tell me what options I have now to change my filed to commerce/related areas
Ans: Dear Hitesh, I understand that you are not happy with your current course of career after completion of B Arch degree and want to pursue CA or MBA. In case you have been a B Com Graduate, it would have been easier for you to pursue MBA directly after the completion of your graduation as you have Commerce background in your 12th standard. In your current scenario as well, you can opt for pursuing MBA with a specialization of your choice since you have not mentioned which stream you want to get into. In case you want to pursue MBA with specialization in Marketing or Finance, you should opt for a full time course from a reputed and registered institution which will get you a good job opportunity in marketing or commercial fields post course completion. But in case you are planning to go for a desk job or accounts related positions, you should pursue CA from a distinguished college or university. You should keep it in mind that pursuing CA is a time-consuming process and it can take anything between 3-5 years minimum to complete a Chartered Accountant course but upon successful completion, you will have a bright career opportunity in the corporate world in finance, accounts, NBFCs and banks.

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Shekhar Kumar  |157 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I'm a 21 year old BBA graduate. I am confused over what to do next. I want to get a job for financial independence but at the same time, I'm interested in fashion designing. Is it a good choice to change career paths now? Is yes how to be as competent as those graduating with their bachelors in fashion. Please advice.
Ans: It's great that you're thinking carefully about your next steps. Balancing financial independence with pursuing your passion is a common challenge. First, take some time to reflect on your interests and skills. First, take some time to reflect on your interests and skills. Ask yourself: What aspects of fashion design appeal to you the most? Do you have any experience or skills related to fashion design? How strong is your desire to pursue fashion as a career? You might consider starting a job related to your BBA degree while simultaneously pursuing fashion design on the side. This way, you can gain financial independence while slowly transitioning into the fashion industry. To be competitive in the fashion industry, you might need additional education and training. There are many diploma and certification courses in fashion design that you can take to build your skills. Platforms like Coursera, Udemy, and Skillshare offer fashion design courses that can give you a solid foundation. Interning with a fashion house or designer can provide hands-on experience and industry insights. You can also attend fashion shows and industry events and join online communities related to fashion design. Networking can open doors to opportunities and mentorship. Ultimately, the decision should align with your long-term goals and passion. If fashion design is something you’re deeply passionate about, pursuing it can lead to a fulfilling career. However, it's important to be realistic about the challenges and prepare accordingly. Remember, it's perfectly okay to start in one field and transition to another. Many successful professionals have done it. Follow your passion, but plan carefully to ensure a smooth transition. Good luck!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2272 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

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