Hi Ashwini, I am being quietly bullied at work by a senior. He never says anything openly abusive, but I am constantly singled out, spoken over, and made to feel incompetent. It is now beginning to affect my mental health and sleep. I am losing self confidence. I am also scared of being labelled 'difficult' if I complain. How do I regain my self-worth and deal with this emotional harassment?

Ans:

Hi.

I am really concerned about your well-being and security.

Prevention of sexual harassment at the workplace is a legal requirement and you must immediately raise the issue with your top management.

Ideally, your company must have an internal complaints committee to handle such complaints.

In case your company is not supportive or does not have internal mechanisms, then you can take help of a lawyer or even the police.

Remember, as a society we need to confront people like your boss else they will be encouraged to harass more women in the future.

Take this head on. The law of the land completely supports you.

Leaving your job is not an option.

Ans: you have rights as an employee, and there are resources available to support youKeep a record of any instances of harassment, including dates, times, locations, and details of what happened. This documentation can be useful if you need to escalate the issue or if legal action becomes necessary. involve talking to your Human Resources (HR) department or a designated person within your organization. If reporting the harassment to HR doesn't resolve the issue, consider escalating your complaint to higher management or the appropriate authority within your organization. Despite the challenges, continue actively searching for a new job. Despite the difficulties, try to maintain professionalism at work. Focus on your tasks, meet deadlines, and avoid confrontations. This approach can help protect your reputation and provide a strong case if needed.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this challenging situation. It's crucial to address workplace harassment and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Here are some steps you could consider:

1. Document Everything: Keep a record of the instances of harassment, including dates, times, what was said or done, and how it made you feel. Documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the situation later.

2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to your manager. Let them know that you're willing to work hard during regular working hours but that you need time off during evenings and weekends to rest and spend time with your family.

3. Use Assertive Communication: When your manager calls you during your off hours, politely remind them of the boundaries you've set and suggest scheduling a discussion during regular working hours unless it's genuinely urgent.

4. Seek Support: Talk to HR or another trusted superior about the situation. They may be able to intervene and provide support or mediation. If your company has an employee assistance program (EAP), consider reaching out to them for guidance.

5. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your company's policies on harassment and discrimination. If your manager's behavior constitutes harassment, you have the right to take action to stop it.

6. Consider Legal Options: If the harassment persists and affects your well-being or career prospects, you may need to consider legal action. Consult with an employment lawyer to understand your rights and options.

7. Explore Other Job Opportunities: Start actively looking for other job opportunities that align with your career goals and values. Having alternative options can provide you with more leverage in dealing with your current situation.

8. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care during this stressful time. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, and lean on your support network for emotional support.

Remember that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health and well-being. It's essential to advocate for yourself and take steps to address the harassment you're experiencing.

Ans: What you're going through isn’t just about hierarchy; it’s about dignity, mutual respect, and the quiet erosion of psychological safety at work.

When someone subtly undermines you — especially in a professional setting — it can chip away at your confidence and presence in ways that aren’t always easy to name. Your instinct to avoid reacting impulsively or retaliating is wise, but choosing not to react does not mean you must tolerate disrespect or power play.

This dynamic is less about the junior’s credentials and more about a breach of professional decorum. Subtle challenges in meetings, tone policing, or backhanded comments are often masked as confidence or "fresh ideas,” but if the intent or impact is to sideline you or question your authority publicly, it needs addressing — calmly, firmly, and early.

Here’s a way forward. First, document patterns — what’s said, when, in whose presence, and how it impacts the team dynamic. This is not for confrontation, but for clarity and grounding your experience.

Then, create a direct but non-confrontational one-on-one moment. Frame it from a place of collaboration, not accusation. For example, “I’ve noticed a few instances where we seem misaligned in team meetings — I’d like to understand your point of view, and also share how that’s being perceived in the room.” That opens a door rather than slamming one.

At the same time, reinforce your presence in the room — not by competing, but by anchoring in your experience, clarity, and calm authority. Redirect when needed. If the junior interjects or oversteps, acknowledge briefly, and then say, “Let’s circle back to that once I finish.” It’s subtle, professional boundary-setting.

You don’t need to prove your worth — you’ve earned your seat. But you do have the right to protect your space, and even more so, your peace.