
My Wife is having breast Pain Since 1.5 years, we consulted her gynaecea she advised for mammography and in mammography we came to know this is due to hormonal changes as she is going to be 40 shortly. She consulted homeopathic doctors and get relief until she intakes medicine only and felt pain again when medicine ends, this December/2024 she again asked that she is having pain and I asked her to consult lady doctor and we went to government hospital and went to breast department but due to non-availability of duty doctor we were advised to consult surgery department and we found a male doctor there. I submit our OPD slip and as this was a male doctor so I worn my wife to ask me before obeying doctor. On our turn my wife told her problem and doctor ask her to come behind curtain and she went behind curtain without asking me. Behind the curtain doctor asked her to show her breast and she was also ready to show her breast but I suddenly shout ( In Our Mother Tongue ) and stopped this and get my mind stuck. Then doctor asked her why she stopped and what I said, my wife said that he is asking for female staff and doctor said “I am a doctor and I am not having female staff and there is nothing male and female in doctor’s consultation” my wife got convinced and told me that we are continuing with this doctor and I also shaked my head as consent sign but not aware with the upcoming surprise and then she open her upper body part and doctor did the check up by pressing or whatever doctor does. And I was not ready for this So, I am still in trauma due to this, but I don’t want her to show her body to any male doctor. That picture comes again and again in my eyes. I don’t want to break my relation with wife, because we married 20 years before and we have children and I love her too much. But she has disobeyed me and obeyed that doctor.
I have done violence one time also
I am praying for my death
I am in a trauma. What should I do to come out of this trauma. Please let me know
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is respectful to have a female nurse when a male doctor is examining a female patient. Now the doctor defied this, I don't know...
But what seems to bother you more is the fact that another man 'saw' your wife and she did not object to it in particular, right? According to you, she disobeyed you, right? What are you going to do about it? Make a scene? Create drama? You possibly have already done that.
The best way to handle situations that are uncomfortable is by talking about it. Was it not possible for you to tell your wife that she could have refused the examination if no female nurse was present? Instead of worrying for her safety, you have made all this about you and how she disobeyed you. Your ego is hurt and your reactions are not beginning to hurt your marriage. Be wise and smart about this...comfort your wife by telling her to be more vigilant in the future and comfort yourself by saying that nothing has happened. Keep that ego aside else it is going to destroy your marriage. You love your wife and you don't want her to be 'exposing' herself even if it's a doctor. Can you not tell her this in love? The matter will just fade away and things will get better. Don't destroy, but build your marriage.
All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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