Home > Relationship > Question
विशेषज्ञ की सलाह चाहिए?हमारे गुरु मदद कर सकते हैं
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
rohit Question by rohit on Feb 29, 2024English
Listen
Relationship

हेलो लव गुरु.. मैं 38 साल का हूँ और 15 साल से शादीशुदा हूँ और मेरी 2 बेटियाँ हैं। 2020 में मेरी मुलाकात एक कॉल गर्ल से हुई। धीरे-धीरे मैं उससे नियमित रूप से मिलने लगा और अब पिछले 6 महीनों में हम दोनों एक-दूसरे से बेहद प्यार करते हैं। मेरी पत्नी को पता चल गया और मैंने उससे कहा कि मैं उसे छोड़ दूँगा। मैं पिछले 1 महीने से उससे नहीं मिल रहा हूँ लेकिन मानसिक रूप से मैं आगे बढ़ने में असमर्थ हूँ। मुझे दोषी महसूस हो रहा है कि मैंने उसे छोड़ दिया। कृपया सलाह दें।

Ans: आप अपनी प्रेमिका को छोड़ने के बारे में दोषी महसूस करते हैं; अपनी पत्नी को धोखा देने के बारे में अपराधबोध कहाँ है? यह तो आम बात है, है न? और क्या आपने अपनी महिला मित्र को अपनी छवि बचाने और दिखावे के लिए छोड़ा, या इसलिए कि आप वास्तव में अपनी शादी और अपने परिवार के साथ न्याय करना चाहते हैं? आपको निश्चित रूप से परामर्श की आवश्यकता है, और मुझे यकीन है कि आपकी पत्नी को भी इसकी आवश्यकता है, क्योंकि आपने उसे बहुत कुछ सहना पड़ा है।

आप नीचे ऐसेही प्रश्न और उत्तर देखना पसंद कर सकते हैं

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2024English
Relationship
मैं 37 वर्षीय विवाहित पुरुष हूँ, पिछले साल मुझे और मेरी पत्नी को 9 महीने के लिए अलग-अलग शहरों में रहना पड़ा और हम महीने में दो बार मिलते थे, इस दौरान उसे एक अविवाहित 24 वर्षीय लड़के से प्यार हो गया जो विपरीत फ्लैट में रहता था और उसने शारीरिक संबंध बनाए और भावनात्मक स्पर्श किया, वह उससे रात में 2-3 घंटे बात करती थी। चूँकि मैं दूर था इसलिए मुझे कुछ पता नहीं चला। अब मैंने उसे उससे बात करते हुए पकड़ लिया और अब वह कह रही है कि उसे खेद है कि वह उसके प्यार में पड़ गई क्योंकि वह आकर्षक था और हमेशा उसके लिए फोन पर उपलब्ध रहता था जो मैं नहीं था। मुझे नहीं पता कि मुझे शादी में रहना चाहिए या नहीं। मेरे दो बच्चे हैं 8 और 4 साल के। कृपया मार्गदर्शन करें, मैंने शादी के इन 9 सालों में उससे बहुत प्यार किया।
Ans: तथ्य यह है कि उसने जो कुछ हुआ उसे स्वीकार किया है, खेद व्यक्त किया है, और अपने विकल्पों के लिए कारण बताए हैं - अर्थात् अकेलापन महसूस करना और किसी ऐसे व्यक्ति की ओर आकर्षित होना जिसने उसे ध्यान दिया - ईमानदार संचार की ओर एक शुरुआत है। जबकि उसके कारण उसके कार्यों को उचित नहीं ठहरा सकते हैं, वे आपको इस बात की स्पष्ट समझ दे सकते हैं कि ऐसा क्यों हुआ, जो आप दोनों को यह पता लगाने में मदद कर सकता है कि क्या विश्वास को फिर से बनाने की संभावना है। चूंकि आप दोनों वर्षों से एक-दूसरे से प्यार करते थे, इसलिए कोई भी अंतिम निर्णय लेने से पहले इसे एक साथ संसाधित करने के लिए समय निकालना उचित हो सकता है।

यदि आप चीजों को सुधारने की कोशिश करने के लिए तैयार हैं, तो किसी परामर्शदाता या चिकित्सक की सहायता लेने पर विचार करें जो आप दोनों को इन भावनाओं से निपटने में मदद कर सके। परामर्श विश्वासघात, आक्रोश और चोट से निपटने के लिए एक स्थान प्रदान कर सकता है, जिससे आप दोनों अपने दृष्टिकोण व्यक्त कर सकते हैं और एक-दूसरे को खुलकर सुन सकते हैं। आपकी पत्नी की इस प्रक्रिया के लिए प्रतिबद्ध होने की इच्छा - अपने कार्यों को संबोधित करने, विश्वास को फिर से बनाने और सुधार करने के लिए - आपके रिश्ते को सुधारने के लिए उसके समर्पण का एक प्रमुख संकेतक होगा। हालाँकि, माफ़ी मांगना और आगे बढ़ना बहुत ही निजी विकल्प हैं। इस बात पर विचार करने के लिए समय निकालें कि इस शादी में सुरक्षित और संतुष्ट महसूस करने के लिए आपको वास्तव में क्या चाहिए, साथ ही अपने बच्चों की भलाई को भी ध्यान में रखें। आप जो भी रास्ता चुनें, सुनिश्चित करें कि यह आपके आत्म-सम्मान, भावनात्मक स्वास्थ्य और शांतिपूर्ण, सहायक पारिवारिक जीवन के लिए आपके दृष्टिकोण के अनुरूप हो।

..Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025
Relationship
I am 46 years old male married for the fast 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly posessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my collegue who is a widower and 25 years of age with a daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not there. Now, I am in love with that widower. I told this to my wife also. She was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl.But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times for a couple of times. It seems, now that girl is not interested in me. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, i am keeping whats app messages which are visible only to her. I dont know whether she is not understanding this one, she is not responding. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.
Ans: Hello sir,
This is actually mid life crisis that you are going through, because of which you think you are having feelings for your colleague. Now that you have been transferred to a new place wirh new surroundings, take this as an opportunity to build new healthy relationships around you. You should start giving more quality time to your wife. She has given you a second chance. You should take it well and forget about your past as your colleague has also moved on now. I hope this will help you with your problem.
Take care
Dr Upneet kaur
Relationship counselor
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1593 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Relationship
Hi, my name is Dhruv, I have been married for 13 years. It was love marriage. We dont have any kids, though we tried but due to medical complications, we could not have a child. After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on. Since last 3-4 years, slowly we have been drifting apart, though we are together but the love, feeling of togetherness has gone, we talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives etc but never about US. That feeling of being loved, even we don't hug each other anymore. Though we do care for each other but its not love anymore. Recently I met someone through work and somehow felt a connect with her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife. She make me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her, want to be with her, talk to her. Though it makes me guilty also as somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work. I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. If I think about myself, my happiness and t it hurts my wife, am I selfish or should I restrict my feelings, please advise way out
Ans: Dear Dhruv,
The easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one. Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else; so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
So, if you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things work?
Working on the marriage is a task that needs effort and a certain kind of stubborn nature that will help you cross over the the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET. So, push that button and go back to where it all began; no baggage, no expectations, no complaining...When you accept a situation, then do so fully...you can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart. It only suggests that it was a compromise and not an acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another. Begin life afresh; date one another...laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life...
And most importantly, be in complete support of one another! That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

नवीनतम प्रश्न
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |594 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2025

Career
Hello Sir. My Son has got offer from follwing University.. 1)University of Padua - Italy (BSC - Information Technology) - 3 years Course 2)University Of Strathclyde - UK (BSC - HON Computer Science) - 4 yrs 3)Caledonian University of Glassgow - UK (Bsc Hons Computing). 4 yrs 4) National College of Ireland (BSC - HON Computer Science Engg) - 4 yrs We are confused to select the university / country
Ans: Hello ASAD,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am glad to know that your son has received offers from the above mentioned universities. As an answer to your query, I would like to tell you that a prestigious and budget-friendly education in a lively Italian environment, along with a reputable academic standing and lower living expenses is offered at the University of Padua; its 3-year BSC - Information Technology may also provide a quicker path to higher education or jobs. Coming to the University of Strathclyde, top-ranked in the UK for Computer Science, this university is renowned for its linkages with industry, research possibilities, as well as outstanding student services, offering robust employment opportunities. Next, situated in a student-centric city with budget-friendly costs in comparison to other cities in the UK, Glasgow Caledonian University focuses on hands-on, industry-focused learning with impressive graduate employment rates. The National College of Ireland provides a small, contemporary campus in Dublin with robust ties with the technology sector, internships, and employment prospects in one of Europe’s key technology hotspots.

Lastly, deciding which university and country to select depends on your son’s professional objectives, ideal learning atmosphere, budget, as well as plans for the future- whether he prefers a shorter course term, robust industrial connections, global exposure, or residing in a specific nation.

For more information, you can visit our website: www.edwiseinternational.com

You can also follow us on our Instagram page: edwiseint

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x