Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
yashasvi Question by yashasvi on Apr 18, 2023Hindi
Listen

Is it normal for guys to loose interest after dating for 2 months as he was the one who was interested first..

Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

Is it normal? Yes; people, both girls and guys, often lose interest. The initial spark fades and people move on in search of the same spark somewhere else. But is it okay to behave this erratically? No. It is selfish. The early stage spark fades for every couple, but a relationship is a commitment. Couples in a happy and healthy relationship rebuild their own spark every day, instead of bailing once things start to become mundane.

If your guy has left you after mere two months, count yourself lucky. You don't want to date such people; you can do a lot better than him.

Best Wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |802 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, How are you? Hope you are doing well. So my situation is: I'm 23 years old. Due to my extremely toxic past experiences in relationships, I chose to be single to bring a balance in my life. I have been single for almost a year now. But last month I was on a sabbatical. I had travelling plans but I had to cancel everything due to the rise in the covid19 pandemic. I joined a dating app (I swore that I would never use a dating app. But then this year I wanted to do something that I would never consider doing. So I decided to join a dating app just to see what goes in there). I wasn't looking for any relationship or anything like that. I was mostly fine with my single life (except the physical intimacy part of course). Then I got matches with guys. But I had no interest in any of them. I chatted with a couple of them but got bored within minutes. I matched with a guy and started talking to him. He seemed nice from the start. I could connect with him very easily. We were on an equal intellectual level. But that was just day 1. From day2, he was not really into the conversation. He was only answering my questions, not really asking anything. But while talking, he clearly told me that he wasn't into relationships or dating currently as he broke up 1 year ago and needed time to clear his mind space. I didn't really care about all this stuff since I wasn't looking for anything at all. But his prosaic interview type answers were very irritating and I had to get back to my work too. So I deleted my profile without apprising him anything and by that time we already connected on IG. But after that conversation, he was kind of all over my mind. It was really difficult for me to focus on my work for the next 2-3 days. So I thought if I text with him for 2-3 days, I would be fine probably. But when I texted him on IG, he wasn't surprised that I’d deleted my profile on that dating app without even telling him anything. Moreover, he was texting in a very formal manner. After a while, he stopped replying. I didn't text after that. I was done with him.Since that day, my mind has been craving for his attention. I know that he isn't the guy I should spend my time with no matter how good I found him initially. But my focus and concentration is really getting affected by his thoughts. On VDay I thought maybe he was going to ask me out(because last month he made it conspicuous that he was going to meet me on V -day). But he is a ghost now. Please tell me how do I erase his thoughts from my mind totally so that I can focus on my work as I have piles of work to get done.
Ans:

Dear SD,

Ghosting of a high order.

Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?

Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?

Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?

Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.

Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.

How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.

Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.

You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.

Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!

Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.

So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.

Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.

Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!

(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Listen
Relationship
In the starting me and my boyfriend couldn't stop talking to each other but because of some exams i wasn't able to talk to him often .. in the starting he asked me whether I need any help or how am i doing but now he barely communicates and he is not romantic as usual on texts and even replies me late .... I tried to communicate but his replies are getting shorter day by day ....
Ans: It's understandable that exams can take up a lot of your time and energy, but it's also important to make sure you're still maintaining a healthy level of communication with your partner.

It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed recently, and you're feeling concerned about it. It's possible that he is preoccupied with something else, such as his own exams or other personal issues, which could explain why he's not communicating as much or as often as he used to.

However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. Express your concerns and ask him if everything is okay on his end. It's possible that he may not even realize that his behavior has changed and that it's affecting you.

When you talk to him, try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to express your own feelings and avoid blaming or accusing him. For example, you might say something like, "I've noticed that we haven't been communicating as much as we used to, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. Is everything okay on your end?"

If he doesn't respond positively or seems unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to take care of yourself and consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy. it might be best to give him some space for a while. It's important to respect his boundaries and not push him to communicate if he's not ready or willing to do so.
(more)
Latest Questions
Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x