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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
yashasvi Question by yashasvi on Apr 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My bf says he doesn't want to talk to anyone but at the same time he is active on social media .. posting stuff ... Is it a sign that he has lost interest in me ?

Ans: Doesn’t want to talk to anyone? Social media is taking over a lot of young people’s lives. It may not be you that is the problem; it’s him and his interests. They lie online, and if that is getting in the way of your relationship, if I were you I would walk. No point chasing someone who’s busy fostering an image on the internet instead of a genuine relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Relationship
In the starting me and my boyfriend couldn't stop talking to each other but because of some exams i wasn't able to talk to him often .. in the starting he asked me whether I need any help or how am i doing but now he barely communicates and he is not romantic as usual on texts and even replies me late .... I tried to communicate but his replies are getting shorter day by day ....
Ans: It's understandable that exams can take up a lot of your time and energy, but it's also important to make sure you're still maintaining a healthy level of communication with your partner.

It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed recently, and you're feeling concerned about it. It's possible that he is preoccupied with something else, such as his own exams or other personal issues, which could explain why he's not communicating as much or as often as he used to.

However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. Express your concerns and ask him if everything is okay on his end. It's possible that he may not even realize that his behavior has changed and that it's affecting you.

When you talk to him, try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to express your own feelings and avoid blaming or accusing him. For example, you might say something like, "I've noticed that we haven't been communicating as much as we used to, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. Is everything okay on your end?"

If he doesn't respond positively or seems unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to take care of yourself and consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy. it might be best to give him some space for a while. It's important to respect his boundaries and not push him to communicate if he's not ready or willing to do so.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2023

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Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ??
Ans: Dear Yashasvi

It's important to understand that everyone needs their space and time to themselves at times, and it seems like your boyfriend has communicated to you that he needs some time alone. However, it's also important for him to communicate his needs clearly and respectfully to you.

It's understandable that you may be feeling hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. It's important for you to take care of your own emotions and needs as well.

If you feel like you're not getting the communication and support you need from your boyfriend, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. However, it's important to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to his perspective as well.

It's also important to recognize that if your boyfriend is unwilling to communicate or work on the relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready or willing to continue the relationship. In this case, it may be best to take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs.

In general, it's not easy for anyone, regardless of gender, to talk about a potential breakup. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being honest about your own feelings and needs.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir , i am 21 year old graduated ,How to make gf ?? As in college everytime i talk to girl she make me friend as i get into friendzoned...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are finding it difficult to meet girls IRL, why don't you try out dating apps? It can be perfect for you. First of all, the chances of getting friend-zoned on a dating app are comparatively lower because it is a dating app and most users are using it to find a date. Yes, some people look for friends too but they will either mention it on their Bio or match with people who mentioned the same on their Bio.

I suggest you research a bit and find a dating app that fits your requirements. For instance, some apps cater to people looking for serious commitment and some others are solely for casual relationships. You pick a dating app based on your preference. Next step- build an interesting profile. Put a display image that helps you put your best foot forward. Something recent, clear, and impressive. Do not overedit; it's not appealing. Write a clear and concise bio that gives a glimpse of who you are, what you want in a relationship, and what you can offer. This way, you will attract the right type of matches. Make it clear that you want a romantic relationship to avoid getting friend-zoned. Finally, once you match, spend some time chatting and getting to know each other. A match is not a commitment. If it doesn't go well, you can always tell them that it's not working out and unmatch.

It's the best way to meet a potential partner without leaving room for misunderstanding and ending up being friend-zoned.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 41 year old. I have 1 cr in mutual fund. It’s been 7 years I started doing sip with 50000. Which I have increased With time now I have sip of 80000 per month. I need to know how much will have when I reach age 50. In my account
Ans: As you stand at the midpoint of your journey, it's natural to pause and ponder the fruits of your labor. Seven years ago, you embarked on a path of financial discipline, nurturing your wealth through systematic investments in mutual funds. With each passing month, you've diligently contributed to your SIP, nurturing your financial garden with care and foresight.

Magnitude of Investment:
Your commitment to growth shines through as you reflect on your journey. Starting with a SIP of Rs 50,000 per month and gradually increasing it to Rs 80,000 per month showcases your dedication to nurturing your financial future. Each increment, no matter how small, represents a step towards building a solid foundation for your later years.

The Power of Compound Interest:
As the years pass, the magic of compound interest works silently in the background, multiplying your investments manifold. With each SIP, you're not just investing money; you're investing in your dreams, your aspirations, and your future. The power of compounding rewards patience and consistency, amplifying the impact of your contributions over time.

Envisioning the Future:
As you cast your gaze towards the horizon, you can't help but wonder: what lies ahead? At age 50, where will your financial journey have led you? Will you find yourself basking in the glow of a well-nurtured nest egg, ready to embark on new adventures and pursue passions long deferred?

The Path Forward:
As a Certified Financial Planner, I invite you to envision your future with clarity and purpose. While I cannot predict the exact value of your investments at age 50 without specific calculations, I can offer guidance on how to nurture and safeguard your wealth as you continue along your journey.

Embracing Uncertainty:
Life is a tapestry woven with threads of uncertainty and possibility. While we cannot control every twist and turn along the way, we can arm ourselves with the tools and knowledge needed to navigate the unknown with confidence. As you journey towards age 50, remember that the true measure of wealth lies not just in monetary value but in the richness of experiences and the depth of relationships.

Conclusion:
As you stand at the crossroads of past and future, take a moment to appreciate how far you've come. Your journey is a testament to your resilience, your determination, and your unwavering commitment to financial well-being. As you continue along your path, may you find solace in the journey itself, knowing that every step forward brings you closer to the life you envision for yourself and your loved ones.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

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Money
Hi I am 37 years old and my Husband is 40 years old. Our annual salary in hand at our home is up to 20,64,000. My Yearly Saving is Rs 6 lakhs (mutual fund, LIC policy, Endowment plan, century plan, Post office schemes). My Expense like medical insurance, term insurance, car insurance is RS 50,000. My living expense per year is Rs 6,00,000. My loan is for Rs17,24,112 (including interests) for which I am paying every year up to Rs 4,31,000 till Feb'28. Also next year we have to purchase car because our car is getting expire. So up- to 14-15 lakh car we will purchase on loan. My child is currently in 6th grade and we both are working. So for happy life after retirement and save future, how much I need to save and in which plans. Please suggest. Till now beyond my savings written above I don't have bank balance which I can use as a emergency funds.
Ans: Navigating the complex landscape of finances, especially with looming expenses and future uncertainties, can feel like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. It's a challenge many of us face, and it's understandable to seek guidance on charting a path towards financial security and peace of mind.

1. Current Financial Snapshot:
You and your husband are in your late 30s and early 40s, respectively, with a combined annual income of Rs 20,64,000. Here's a breakdown of your financial standing:

Income and Savings:
Annual savings of Rs 6 lakhs allocated towards various financial instruments such as mutual funds, insurance policies, and savings schemes.

Annual expenses totaling Rs 50,000 for essential insurances (medical, term, car) and Rs 6,00,000 for day-to-day living expenses.
Loan Obligations:

Existing loan of Rs 17,24,112, including interests, being paid annually up to Rs 4,31,000 until Feb'28.
Planning to purchase a new car next year, expected cost up to Rs 14-15 lakhs, which will likely require additional financing.

2. Planning for Retirement and Future Security:
With retirement on the horizon and the desire to secure your future, it's essential to map out a robust savings strategy:

Retirement Goals:
Discuss and define your retirement aspirations with your husband, envisioning your desired lifestyle and financial needs during retirement.

Savings Strategy:
Determine an ideal savings rate that balances current expenses with long-term goals, including retirement, your child's education, and potential healthcare costs.

Investment Mix:
Explore a diversified portfolio comprising mutual funds, insurance policies, and government-backed savings schemes, tailored to your risk tolerance and time horizon.

3. Addressing the Car Purchase:
The decision to replace your expiring car involves careful consideration, especially given your existing financial commitments:

Financial Implications:
Evaluate all options for financing the new car, considering potential down payments and minimizing loan burden to maintain financial flexibility.

Alternative Solutions:
Explore alternative transportation options or delaying the purchase until you've built more financial reserves to lessen the impact on your budget.

4. Building an Emergency Fund:
Establishing an emergency fund is crucial for weathering unexpected financial challenges:

Setting Savings Goals:
Determine specific savings goals for your emergency fund, considering factors like living expenses, loan obligations, and potential emergencies.

Automating Contributions:
Consider automating contributions to your emergency fund to make saving more manageable and ensure consistent progress towards your goal.

Conclusion:
While navigating the complexities of financial planning can be daunting, remember that you're not alone on this journey. By carefully managing your income, expenses, and savings, and seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you're taking proactive steps towards securing your future and achieving your long-term goals. Keep focusing on your priorities, stay adaptable to change, and trust in the process as you work towards financial freedom and peace of mind.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam 40yrs old with 1.6lakhs take home with house wife and 3 yr old baby girl. Below is my current financial condition: 1. Taken Home loan for 35 lakhs for apartment worth of 55lakhs in 2022 with emi requirement of 41k for 11yrs (iam paying monthly 45k and one extra 45k emi yearly) 2. Took Gold loan of 11lakhs in 2022(paying from mar2024 onwards monthly 35k) for apartment purpose 3. Holding 2440 sqft land costs 25lakhs in 2021 now it is 35lakhs planned for baby girl marriage 4. 5lakhs emergency fund in FD 5. 6 lakhs FD for SBI life smart wealthbuilder plan purpose for next 6yrly premium payment, 6. Equity 5lakhs invested now mkt value 8lakhs, 7. Mf 8lakhs now 11lakhs (monthly 20k for 10 different funds with 1k stepup yearly) 8. EPF 20lakhs not withdrawn from beginning for retirement plan 9. Ssy 1.2lakhs for baby girl education (monthly 6k) 10. Ppf 50k for baby girl education (monthly 3k) 11. Nps 4.9lakhs now 6lakhs (monthly 12k from company deduction and 50k annually from my side) 12. Holding agriculture land 1acre 7lakhs near hometown purchased in 2018 now it is same price no increase... Holding bcoz I like to have agriculture land... 13. Holding Gold coins 50gms purchasing when there is Amazon offers.. for baby girl ornaments purpose 14. Term insurance 1crore for me and 50lakhs for my wife purchased in 2022 15. Health insurance 20lakhs with premium 60k for 3yrs purchase in 2022... Monthly 1.6lakhs take home spending as below: 1. 45k home loan emi (annually 45k as one extra emi) 2. 30k mf sip ( 3k each for 10 funds - quant infra, quant smallcap, quant elss, 360 one focused, canara robeco smallcap, canara robeco emerging, mirae largecap, pgim flexicap, parag elss, ICICI prudential technology fund) 3. 35k gold loan prepayment 4. 35k home maintenance expenses 5. 10k ssy and ppf 6. 5k apartment maintenance 7. 45k LIc premium annual requirement 8. 40k term loan premium annual requirement taken 1crore for me and 50lakhs for my wife total to 40k premium 9. 30k annually for bike insurance, services and other maintenance 10. 1.3lakhs for baby girl school fees from this year 50% already paid 50% to be paid in oct 2024 11. 60k premium for health insurance once for 3 years purchased in 2022... I have few ask sir: 1. Want to buy 13 to 15Lakhs car.. when to buy with my financial condition and I have no down payment free cash now 2. Should I change my financial saving/investment please suggest as I am not having any free cashflow post the monthly commitment 3. Want to generate 2nd source of income suggest plz which is good to have it 4. Want to become financial freedom by next 10years so what I need to do for it and plan better. 5. Any changes in the current plan suggestion
Ans: It sounds like you're juggling a lot, but you've got a solid foundation laid out. It's admirable how you're balancing your responsibilities towards your family's present needs and future goals. Let's address your concerns and aspirations one by one.

1. Car Purchase Consideration:
You're eyeing a new car, a shiny symbol of comfort and convenience. However, before diving in, let's assess if it aligns with your current financial trajectory:

Timing and Need:
Do you have an immediate need for the car, or is it more of a desire?
Can you postpone the purchase until you've accumulated a down payment or have more breathing room in your budget?
2. Reviewing Savings and Investments:
Your portfolio is diverse, spanning various assets from real estate to mutual funds. Let's evaluate if each piece is still working optimally for you:

Portfolio Alignment:
Are all your investments aligned with your long-term goals and risk tolerance?
Can you streamline or consolidate any holdings to reduce costs or enhance performance?
3. Exploring Additional Income Streams:
You're eager to bolster your financial stability by exploring secondary income sources. Let's brainstorm some viable options:

Leveraging Skills and Passions:
What skills or hobbies do you possess that could be monetized?
Are there freelancing opportunities or consulting gigs in your field of expertise?
4. Planning for Financial Freedom:
Your aspiration to achieve financial independence within a decade is ambitious yet attainable. Let's outline a roadmap to realize this vision:

Defining Financial Freedom:
What does financial freedom mean to you personally?
Is it early retirement, pursuing passion projects, or having more flexibility in your lifestyle?
Strategic Steps:
How can you increase your savings rate to accelerate progress towards your goals?
Are there opportunities to optimize investments or explore alternative income streams?
5. Optimizing Current Financial Plan:
Let's explore potential adjustments to your existing financial strategy to enhance its effectiveness:

Reallocating Resources:
Can you reallocate funds towards higher-performing investments or areas with greater potential?
Are there opportunities to automate savings or investment contributions for greater consistency?
Conclusion:
Your commitment to securing your family's financial future is commendable. By carefully considering each aspect of your financial situation, from major purchases to investment strategies, you're laying a strong foundation for long-term success. Remember, financial planning is a journey, and with patience, diligence, and the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner, you're well-positioned to achieve the freedom and security you desire.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am My family is not accepting my boyfriend as he is not well settled and doesn’t have any savings. His parent are also divorced and father has a second marriage. The first children custody is still with parents however my boyfriend and his brother live with his mother. He is 5 year younger than me. My family is not accepting my relationship and showing me new proposals every day. To borrow some time i am just refusing the proposal my giving some excuses but now they know that i am still not out from him and waiting for him to get settled. Kindly let me know how can i convince my family to accept my relationship. My boyfriend is working day and night to get settled and have a good account balance. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If your daughter came to you with the same situation, how would you advise her?
Would you not tell her your concern that she is actually choosing someone who may not be able to support her when she goes on maternity leave? Would you not tell her that coming from a broken family, she may have to take care of her boyfriend and possibly parent him on different occasions? Your parents are only concerned for you and are unable to tell you what they are worried about. Put yourself in their situation and tell me that you will not be worried.

At the same time, I do get your frustration. What you can do is to work on your parents' concerns and buy time till your boyfriend manages to settle down. And it seems like he is doing all that he can to be in their good books. And that's the only way you can get them to accept him. Wait patiently and don't put him under pressure. Instead be supportive and at the same time, you continue to work and be independent as well.

Never try to convince someone who does not want to be convinced but instead work on how they can accept him by addressing their concerns.

All the best!

...Read more

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