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R P

R P Yadav  |52 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Jatinder Question by Jatinder on Mar 10, 2023

Career
Dear sir, Q. What are the the most important things that an employee should take care of so that his/her boss doesn't get annoyed ? Q. What are the characteristics of growth in life ?
Ans: The boss will not annoy if you achieve the set target and objective. Besides you nee to take care of positive attitude and behaverial part. Growth of life means getting educated, doing professional work as per your talent and education and ethical .
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Dear Mayank,I am engineering graduate with 10+ years of experience in data centre operations.I have been working for an MNC for the last four years. The company is very good but I am not happy with my professional and personal growth.I am mentioning some issues which I feel restrict me from going ahead in my life and growing in my career.1. I come under pressure immediately. It could be because I want to make everyone happy.2. I get confused a lot. Although I have complete belief on my skills and strengths yet, sometimes, it feels like I am nothing.3. I forgot things very soon because of which I have to work really hard.4. Sometime, it feels that I am getting hopeless with things.5. I have a fluctuating mind. I have to make great effort to be focused.6. I cannot manage my time due to all this. As a result, neither my boss nor my family is happy.It would be great to have your guidance in solving these problems.Thanks and regards,Name withheld on request.
Ans:

Hi.

These are some practical things you can do to help you resolve most of the issues you shared.

1. Start your day early with some positive thoughts and physical activity. The way you begin your day determines how the rest of the day will go.

2. Spend quality time with your family.

3. Do practise some meditation or yoga as that will help you increase your concentration.

4. Keep your cell phone away from you when at work; check it once, for five minutes, every hour.

5. Find a good mentor at work with whom you can share your concerns openly.

6. Engage in your hobbies.

7. Get good quality sleep.

(more)
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2023
Relationship
I am a 45 years old Indian living in the US for the past 10 years with the family. Despite having a steady job and a pay which typically is considered high, I end up spending more than my income. My wife also works full time with good pay as well but she thinks it's my responsibility to provide and she just saves all her money in her own accounts. We have multiple properties on both our names including cars but only I pay. I pay for groceries, bills, travel everything. On discussing about the expenses, which I have done multiple times so far, she says I should be ashamed to expect money from a woman. If this continues, I will reach retirement age kind of broke I feel. Also, I will spend sleepless nights thinking about finances until then. Please advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like in any partnership, marriage is one such partnership where everything is usually shared. But I do know of couples, where they mutually agree that one partner takes care of the bills and the other education etc.
In your case, your wife has been saving up and you have been bleeding dry of your finances.
But why exactly are you spending more than your income? Financial mismanagement? Maybe that's why your wife is worried that it might happen to her portion of the income too?
Having said that, I guess your wife also needs to move past the belief that the Man is solely responsible for bringing money home. By that logic, she should never have worked, right?

Since she is working as well, she can contribute towards the family to the extent it can help but it is also imperative that as a woman she keeps some finances saved as a back-up for herself. It provides a good safety blanket for a woman since she possibly feels that you are spending more than what you earn.
It's up to you to bring about the subject without her feeling that you are out to spend all her money. So, you really need to start with managing your finances better...I am sure things will get better from thereon...

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

Relationship
Hi Anu, I hope you're doing well. I'm a 24 year old girl working as a software engineer. I was in love with a boy in long distance relationship and I met him only once. We both had great understanding, respect on each other. It was all good between us. On February 2023, he called me one day saying that he wants to tell his parents about our love matter. I said okay and asked him what he wanted to do if his family disagrees. He said that he'll wait until his family approves. I was okay with it and he informed to his family. But things started changing after he talked with his family. He wanted to break up with me. I told him many times that I wanted to be with him and don't want to break up. But, he didn't agree. Eventually, we stopped talking with each other. It was hard for me to move on but after few months, i finally decided to move on with my life. Then suddenly he messaged me saying that he wants to get back with me. I didn't agreed as I lost my trust on him. He even informed his family about getting back with me and they were okay with it. He wants to marry me. But, now the problem is I still like him, but I lost trust in him. I wanted to give him a chance but I'm afraid because of past break up with him. I'm confused about what should I do? Anu, can you please suggest me about giving him a chance or moving on with my life?
Ans: Dear Mahi,
Thank you for asking. I am doing well and trust that you too will be in the same space as well.
When what he has done has broken your trust, it is difficult to get it back... he has come back, but you are perhaps thinking: what if he pulls the same stunt again? And this makes you question every move of his...

If you look at it from his point of view, he possibly also loves you but his family pressures are getting to him and he can do only that much. Yes, it would have been more 'human' to talk to you about what had happened after he spoke with his family. But he chose not to and that lack of transparency is what has thrown you off...perhaps, he isn't all that mature emotionally or feels that he might lose you if he shares anything.

Whatever it is, your loss of trust on him is justified after the way he had behaved. If the two of you still want to give your relationship a chance, kindly do so...and clearly state to him that you have lost trust on him. Not only does he have explaining to do but he must reassure you that he will be honest with you in future. Also, give some time before committing to a marriage while you watch whether he has changed and he is consistent with what he has committed to changing. Only when you are sure, take a decision either way!

All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

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