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Mayank

Mayank Rautela  | Answer  |Ask -

HR Expert - Answered on Aug 17, 2021

Mayank Rautela is the group chief human resources officer at Apollo Hospitals.
A management graduate from the Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies with a master's degree in labour laws from Pune University, Rautela has over 20 years of experience in general management, strategic human resources, global mergers and integrations and change management.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Aug 17, 2021Hindi
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Career

Dear Mayank,
I am engineering graduate with 10+ years of experience in data centre operations.
I have been working for an MNC for the last four years. The company is very good but I am not happy with my professional and personal growth.
I am mentioning some issues which I feel restrict me from going ahead in my life and growing in my career.
1. I come under pressure immediately. It could be because I want to make everyone happy.
2. I get confused a lot. Although I have complete belief on my skills and strengths yet, sometimes, it feels like I am nothing.
3. I forgot things very soon because of which I have to work really hard.
4. Sometime, it feels that I am getting hopeless with things.
5. I have a fluctuating mind. I have to make great effort to be focused.
6. I cannot manage my time due to all this. As a result, neither my boss nor my family is happy.
It would be great to have your guidance in solving these problems.
Thanks and regards,
Name withheld on request.

Ans:

Hi.

These are some practical things you can do to help you resolve most of the issues you shared.

1. Start your day early with some positive thoughts and physical activity. The way you begin your day determines how the rest of the day will go.

2. Spend quality time with your family.

3. Do practise some meditation or yoga as that will help you increase your concentration.

4. Keep your cell phone away from you when at work; check it once, for five minutes, every hour.

5. Find a good mentor at work with whom you can share your concerns openly.

6. Engage in your hobbies.

7. Get good quality sleep.

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Hi Mayank,I was going through this article Struggling with your career? and it prompted me to write this email.I am Kalpesh Desai, aged 45, working with an MNC as project manager in Mumbai.I feel I have reached a kind of dead-end and am unable to crack that due to office politics, coupled with my inability to say ‘Yes boss’ everywhere and my poor marketing skills as far as my own work is concerned.I am bad at speaking lies and I am process oriented. This just adds to my woes.I feel I end up being used without getting recognised.Changing jobs seems to be easy option but does not guarantee a better situation in future jobs. Kindly share insights on how to come out of this.Warm regards,Kalpesh Desai
Ans:

Dear Kalpesh,

Many of us face this situation in this stage of our careers.

It’s something I have faced as well.

I can share what I have learnt from my experience; I hope it will help you.

1. Reinvent yourself. Upgrade your competencies; take up some courses in your field from a reputed institute.

2. Set clear goals and expectations with your manager. You don't have to be a 'yes man', but you must be aligned with the goals of your manager and the organisation at large.

3. Have a career discussion with your manager. Clearly express what you are looking for in your career and what help you need from the management.

4. Move out of your core area of functioning. For example, you could move from project management to analytics, strategy or even sales.

5. Ensure that you have a good financial plan to secure the future of your family.

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am 27 years old, Single. Its been 2 years + I am doing private 3 years project contractual job this contractual job.its going to complete in Dec 31st 2024. I gave Ctet teacher exam but i failed 3 time. But i m not focusing in State tet so, i want focus but in market lots of content and i dont have gude what shall i do. I am not happy with my current job. This job changes me alot in my caracter now, i cant sleep properly because if this job will finished what shall i do, till yet i have not creck any exam. And if i go in market i started to forgot ex:- After giving money i forgot to take back, after giving money i forgot to take things sometime. My age also gainig if want to marry so, i have earned money or save money i have to bear all expenses because my parents financially poor if I want save, same time i need to look my younger brother study expenses i need to bear and family running mantainance and also have EMI loans need to pay and also i am helping my parents to build their house with my own money my parents does not have money for my marriage. Now i have overthinking, depression, fear, feeling lossing confident, my dream job also get critical in this situation what shall i do. In office also staff try to polling down because i am getting higher salary what shall i do. For this reason just resently my health conditions because worse my pressure 139 felt vomit feel dizzy. What shall I do now Sir.
Ans: I have gone through your query and understand that you are at the Cross roads of Life.

It's at these times... When the going gets tough... The tough gets gong.
That's your strength.. A tough resilient young lady!
Kindly note you are doing an excellent job hence rewarded with better pay in your organization.. Obviously there's going to be jealousy..Be calm & Handle it with maturity.

Now I understand you are very committed selfless person. Who's contributing a lot to your family,... Wow in fact helping build your own new house. !

In regards to your contractual job, talk to your employer, let them know, that you would have to look for another job post December 2024 if there's no clear further commitment.

In regard to your marriage at 27 you aren't too old to find a like minded partner don't rush and regret, start the process through matrimonial apps.

I see you talk about your health, especially blood pressure, well that's because you are unduly stressed.
Add tender coconut water to your diet, talk to a proper Ayurvedic doctor..!

I am sure you will get over this mid life syndrome and invite us all for your happy day!

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Pradeep, I am a professional with more than 17 years of experience in Operations, team management. Currently I have started working in a global MNC in a global position. Earlier I was working with the same organization for more than 10 years. Then during Covid, I lost my job. Finally, settled down with another company with almost 40% less salary. Though I loved the role and responsibilities there. I was a Senior Team Lead there. I liked the role where I was managing the team, working with the team. But due to some internal politics, I lost my job in that organization too in this year only. Why I am saying politics? Because just before they fired me, I got best performer award and best employee of the last quarter 2024 award. Then I rejoined my old organization with lots of hope. But now I am finiding it difficult to cope up in this global role. The top management expected me to know everything within 3 to 4 months and start delivering. One of the biggest hurdle that I am facing is that earlier when I was in this organization for more than 10 years, I was in another process. This time I got in a role where the process is completely different. Also no proper training is provided. I am not get a fulfiling satisfaction from this role. Also I am not able to get job satisfaction and now I am thinking of quitting and start something of my own. A business venture or a consultancy service. But not sure how to start and also afraid of the flow of income. I have a mother who is suffering from age related problems. Have a little kid of 12 years. My wife is not working. I tried to switch jobs. But it seems that no one is there to take someone who is almost at 45 years of age. I am loosing my hope and confidence day by day. Please help.
Ans: Dear... Request you to mention the question in precise way to understand what exactly you require from us. Big question normally indicates state of confusion somewhere hence difficult to repply which will satisfy you.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024Hindi
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Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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