Hi I am jee aspirant ... My family has many complications... And being the only hope it stresses me out and plus I recently started dating a guy .. and now I feel guilty for getting into it .. Many times I get thought to breakup but i couldn't do so .. My heart is filled with guilt ... Jt feels like I am betraying my family .. what should i do

Ans: It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed about your situation. It's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to move forward and improve your situation.

Firstly, it's important to address your feelings of guilt and shame. It's normal to make mistakes and have experiences that don't align with our parents' expectations or our own goals. It's essential to recognize that these experiences do not define your worth or value as a person.

It's also crucial to take care of your mental health. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. Additionally, taking care of your physical health through exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

As for your career, it's not too late to get back on track. You can take steps to improve your academic performance and study habits. Consider seeking out additional resources, such as tutoring or study groups, to help you achieve your goals.

Finally, it's important to remember that your love life does not have to define your career or future. Many successful people have had relationships and experiences that didn't align with their career goals, but they were able to persevere and succeed. You can do the same by focusing on your goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them.

Overall, it's important to take things one step at a time and to focus on the present moment. With time and effort, you can overcome your challenges and achieve your goals.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Time for you to do things for yourself! It may seem selfish at the beginning but taking care of yourself and your needs is self-care above everything else...
For once put your needs before everyone else's and resist any sort of manipulation from family. Serving themselves was their agenda at your expense; why still allow it?
Firmly refuse moving in with them as it won't take them long before they kick you out when things are not in their favour. You have the ability to be by yourself and support yourself...maintaining a healthy distance in fact helps relationships grow stronger. So, time for you to be kind to yourself...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very clear that the Ex did have a way with him and his mother. They seemed to have some sort of a bond that is still strong and they make no move to loosen it knowing that there is a new person now...

How is it the son and mother haven't had an inkling that their cozying up to the Ex, can prevent a new relationship from growing?
It's a nice thought to be all mature about the Ex, but only when such a conversation has happened before.
Did your boyfriend not think that this might cause issues in his relationship with you?
Did he not think that a conversation that he is in touch with his Ex should come up?

What is a red flag here is the fact that he assumes that his action will be okay with you...Isn't that taking you for granted?
It is easy to skim over this as nothing and maybe it is really nothing, but if you have felt triggered, do not shove this under the carpet. What feels uncomfortable to you, must be addressed by your boyfriend. What he does or doesn't will have a direct impact on you and your relationship with him. So address it ASAP before it grows branches and trees in your mind.
And of course, there is no way of preventing what his mother does. You might have to ignore it as she is her own person and has the right to maintain her relationships even if is with her son's Ex...it will be uncomfortable for you, but do let it be...
Trust is one of the pillars in any relationship and if any action or inaction disturbs that trust, address it immediately. Please have that chat with your boyfriend and acknowledge that there is a RED FLAG. Also, discuss your future...if he has reservations settling down, I am sure you know what to do...It's your life, make wise choices...

All the best!

Ans: You have a choice - to sacrifice your relationship with either your family or your boyfriend. In the end, if you are not happy, they won't be happy either. So I'd recommend you choose the man you like coz your future life lies with him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing. I understand that it must be heartbreaking to have to let go of your love merely because of a difference in caste and even worse to have to forcefully marry someone you don't love. I suggest you have a clear discussion with both your partner and parents if you think you cannot remain in the marriage. Try to convince them that you are not happy and consider separation. It can be difficult to persuade the people we call family and some choices might even hurt them, but you still have to make them understand if your peace and happiness depend on them. Remember you are an adult who is allowed to have her own emotions and choices. If you choose to separate from your partner, it is okay.

Best Wishes!