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Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Love Guru. My husband is very close to his cousin sister. Whenever they meet they hug, embrace and crack jokes. They also chat and talk at length whenever available. At times I feel very in secured and did confront my husband. But he takes it very lightly. Her husband stays in UAE and only visits India once in a year (for one month). They have one son and one daughter. Do you think this is normal?

Ans: Cousins getting along well is normal; a wife feeling insecure as a result of that is not. Haven’t you got a brother or male relative you’ve bonded with since childhood? Still, giving the benefit of the doubt to your instinct as his wife, I would suggest you look out for subtle signs of anything more than familial ties. Does he look for any excuse to spend time with her? Do they meet alone very frequently? Do you pick up on any romantic vibes between them? Hugging between cousins is very normal, but are they overly tactile? Short of any of that, leave it alone and address your own insecurities.

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
Career
Confused between nit goa ece & vit Chennai electronics & computer engineering. Pls advice
Ans: NIT Goa’s B.Tech in Electronics and Communication Engineering, an Institute of National Importance, is NBA/NIRF-recognized and delivered by PhD-qualified faculty in specialized VLSI, communications and embedded-systems laboratories, augmented by virtual-lab access under an MHRD initiative. Mandatory industry internships and close industry collaborations underpin its curriculum, while the 2022–23 batch achieved 100% placement consistency with an average package of ?12.87 LPA and top recruiters across core and tech sectors. VIT Chennai’s interdisciplinary Electronics & Computer Engineering programme, NAAC A++–accredited and supported by 47 state-of-the-art labs, integrates AI/ML, IoT and big-data components with semester-long internships via its centralized Career Development Centre. It has sustained approximately 80–90% placement consistency over three years with an average package of ?8.19 LPA, and benefits from its proximity to Chennai’s IT, research and startup hubs. Both institutions offer robust academic frameworks, well-qualified faculty, modern infrastructure, structured internship pipelines and active placement support.

For highest placement reliability, superior average packages and deep core-electronics training, recommendation is NIT Goa ECE. If you value a hybrid ECE–CSE curriculum, urban industry exposure and interdisciplinary labs, recommendation shifts to VIT Chennai Electronics & Computer Engineering. My suggestion: Prefer NIT-G-ECE over VIT-C-E&CE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
Ravi Asked on - Jul 03, 2025 My daughter secured 95.3 percent in Mhcet ,can she get cse or aiml in good colleges only in pune we r looking.She is in open category & domicile of Maharashtra. Is Cummins or bharti vidyapeeth women college a good option.r there any chances of getting in Vit,dy Patil akurdi or. Is mit aoe good option
Ans: Ravi Sir, With a 95.3 percentile in MHT-CET (approximately ranking 15,000-17,000 among 675,377 candidates), your daughter has excellent opportunities at several respected Pune engineering colleges for CSE and AI/ML branches. Cummins College of Engineering for Women stands out with strong placement performance, recording 589 students placed in 2023-24 with a median package of ?10 LPA and top recruiters including Microsoft, Salesforce, Wells Fargo and JP Morgan. Bharati Vidyapeeth Women's College achieves 85% placement consistency across branches with an average package of ?5.24 LPA and leading companies like TCS, IBM, Amazon and Capgemini. VIT Pune offers accessible admission with CSE cutoffs around 94-95 percentile for open category and maintains solid industry partnerships. Dr. D.Y. Patil Akurdi and MIT AOE Pune both accommodate 95+ percentile students, with DY Patil achieving 95.28% cutoff for Computer Engineering and MIT AOE requiring approximately 95.5-96 percentile for CSE. All these institutions provide NAAC/NBA accreditation, modern AI/ML labs, mandatory internships and active placement cells.

For the highest placement success and specialized women's engineering environment, recommendation is Cummins College of Engineering for Women for CSE. Next, consider VIT Pune CSE for balanced academics and accessibility, followed by Bharati Vidyapeeth Women's College for consistent placement support and DY Patil Akurdi CSE for strong technical infrastructure. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
Sir, good day! My son has to choose between VIT, CSE and BITS Pilani, Dubai campus CSE. Keeping the fees aside which one is a better choice
Ans: Lakshmi Madam, VIT Vellore’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering holds A++ NAAC accreditation and AICTE approval, with a curriculum spanning seven sub-specializations including AI/ML, Data Science and Cyber Security under its School of Computer Science & Engineering. Its 47 state-of-the-art computing, networking and software-development labs support extensive project-based learning. A centralized Career Development Centre and MOUs with top firms facilitate semester-long internships and 945+ recruiters visiting annually, yielding an overall 90% placement consistency and a CSE average package of ?9.90 LPA . However, VIT’s rural main campus may limit urban industry exposure, sub-specialization saturation, high competition for core CSE roles, variable branch-wise medians (CSE median ~?6 LPA), and reliance on internal VITEEE exam ranks.

BITS Pilani Dubai offers a UGC-and-KHDA-recognized CSE program in Academic City, Dubai, backed by the Aditya Birla Group and an international alumni network. Its Practice School embeds 7.5-month industry immersions with 400+ UAE companies, and it records ~90% placements, an average package of AED 90,000 (~?20 LPA), and a 5-star QS-KHDA rating . The campus hosts cutting-edge software, cloud and AI labs and an active business incubator. Nevertheless, BITS Dubai incurs higher living costs, smaller batch sizes (≈300), potential visa/work-permit hurdles post-graduation, distance from India’s core tech hubs, and slightly lower core-India recruiter presence.

For stronger India-centric campus recruitment, diverse CSE specializations and cost-effective placements, recommendation is VIT Vellore CSE. If global exposure, extended industry immersions in the UAE, and higher average salary prospects appeal, recommendation shifts to BITS Pilani Dubai CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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