Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 15, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Nov 15, 2022Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I have been married for 2 years but I don't feel close to my husband.
It was a marriage arranged by my relatives and despite trying I don't feel any love for him.
Now I am in love with his younger brother. He loves me too but is afraid to tell his brother. He feels it is wrong and it will break his family.  What should I do? Is it my fault?

Ans:

It certainly sounds like a messy affair.

It's not your fault that you've fallen in love; people can't always help the way they feel about someone else.

But it's not fair to your husband that you don't love him and before things get worse, like maybe you becoming pregnant, I would suggest you end the marriage soon.

As for your relationship with the brother, that should not coincide with things in any way.

If, after you're divorced, you both decide to ease into being a couple over the course of time and see where it goes, that in itself will be a challenge for your respective families.

So take one step at a time, slowly and discreetly. Because leaving him for his brother will cause trauma anyway. Waiting it out will help the situation immensely.

 

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I have been married to my love for the last 20 years and have a 15 yr old son. I had a restaurant for 3 years and had got attracted to the executive chef who later became a partner in my restaurant. He is not married. During these years and from before that my married life had been very depressing. My husband stays abroad for work and even when he comes we do not gel because we have been living away for too long. We don’t relate to each other any more. We also do not have a sex life during the time I had my restaurant. The chef knows all about my family and often have visited and partied with my husband too. We have crossed the line and have still been in love for the last 4 yrs. He is unmarried and is much younger to me but he is fully committed to me. I can’t understand what to do. Please guide.
Ans: hello there,
It sounds like you are in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. Infidelity and emotional involvement with someone outside of your marriage can be difficult to navigate Decisions about relationships and marriages are significant and often take time. Avoid making impulsive decisions and give yourself the time needed to carefully consider your options.Take into account the impact of your decisions on your son. Children can be profoundly affected by changes in their parents' relationship. Ensure that any decisions made consider his well-being Reflect on what you want for your future. Do you want to work on your marriage, or do you feel that it's irreparable? Make decisions based on what aligns with your values and long-term goals. Assess your relationship with the chef. Consider the potential consequences of continuing this relationship, especially given your commitment to your husband. Understand the impact it may have on all parties involved Open and honest communication is crucial. If you haven't already, have a frank conversation with your husband about your feelings, the state of your marriage, and any areas that need improvement. This may be a difficult conversation, but it's an essential step in understanding each other's perspectives.

All the best.
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!
(more)
Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!
(more)
Latest Questions
Moneywize

Moneywize   |93 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
My brother purchased a piece of land in Assam in October 1983 which he gifted me by a deed in August 2010. I sold the same piece of land in March 2024. The stamp duty fair price is about Rs 1,40,00,000. Will this transaction attract Capital Gain Tax? How can I myself calculate the LTCG if such a situation presents itself?
Ans: Yes, in this scenario, you will likely incur capital gains tax when you sell the land.

Here's why:

• Gifts are exempt from receiving taxes: When your brother gifted you the land in 2010, you weren't liable to pay any tax on receiving it.
• Tax on sale of gifted property: However, when you sell the property you received as a gift, capital gains tax applies to the profit earned on the sale.

Calculating Long Term Capital Gains (LTCG):

Since your brother purchased the land in 1983 and you sold it in 2024, it qualifies as a long-term capital gain (LTCG) assuming you held the property for more than 2 years.

Here's a simplified formula to estimate the LTCG (consult a tax advisor for the exact calculation):

• LTCG = Sale Price - Indexed Acquisition Cost
• Sale Price: Rs 1,40,00,000 (Given)
• Acquisition Cost: Rs 0 (Gifts typically have an acquisition cost of Rs 0)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost: Acquisition Cost * (Current Year Index / Acquisition Year Index)

Indexation Benefit:

• Indexation helps adjust the acquisition cost for inflation, reducing your tax burden.
• You'll need the official government published ‘Base Year Index’ for 1983 and 2024 to calculate the indexed acquisition cost.

Example (using hypothetical index values):

Let's assume (for calculation purposes only) the base year indices are:

• 1983: 100
• 2024: 630 (This is a hypothetical value, you'll need the actual index for 2024)
• Indexed Acquisition Cost = Rs 0 (Acquisition Cost) * (630 / 100) = Rs 0
• LTCG = Rs 1,40,00,000 (Sale Price) - Rs 0 (Indexed Acquisition Cost) = Rs 1,40,00,000

Tax on LTCG:

LTCG on land is currently taxed at 20% with indexation benefit.

In this example (assuming the above index values), your LTCG tax would be Rs 1,40,00,000 * 20% = Rs 28,00,000

Disclaimer:

This is a simplified explanation for illustration purposes only. Consulting a qualified tax advisor is recommended for accurate tax calculations and to consider any specific aspects of your situation. They can guide you through the intricacies of property tax laws, exemptions, and filing requirements.
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x